Comments | rubygirl29: The Hunt

rubygirl29

The Hunt

Feb 13, 2009 20:54

The Hunt

By Rubygirl

Genre: Action/Adventure and H/C

Rating: PG-13.

Characters: Sheppard, Ronon Dex, Teyla, Rodney McKay, Elizabeth Weir, Evan Lorne, and original characters.

Warning: Violence

Spoilers: References to Runner, Common Ground, Vengeance

Note: This is a work in progress and therefore subject to the whims of the author and her muse! I am well ( Read more... )

ronon dex, fanfic, stargate atlantis, sheppard

Comments 9

jendavis February 14 2009, 04:54:29 UTC

Yay!

This reads enough like an episode that I got to the end and was waiting for the opening credits. :)

Great Elizabeth POV.

And the "see what I found, can I keep him" part was pretty perfect, but not as perfect as "Got my gun. I'm good.” Think that might be the most succinct description of Ronon ever.

rubygirl29 February 14 2009, 05:14:43 UTC

Oh good! I was hoping that's how it read. Thanks for the FB!

scout_lover February 16 2009, 23:13:11 UTC

Ooh, very nice start! Gotta love Ronon and Teyla smirking at hung-over John, hehe. I also liked very much the, "can I keep him?" line; that's exactly what I think when I watch that scene. And, yeah, the "Got my gun. I'm good." is the *perfect* Ronon line.

One itty bitty quibble, though (sorry, you know me). John *has* seen Ronon shot -- "The Long Goodbye," remember? Gut-shot, by Elizabeth/Phoebus. Unless this takes place before that?

But I'm hooked, and off to read more. As ever, your descriptions and dialogue are spot-on!

rubygirl29 February 17 2009, 00:40:12 UTC

Thank you! Feel free to wrangle commas as warranted. I'm working on knocking off a few that aren't um ... necessary.

Mea Culpa ... rubygirl29 February 18 2009, 01:14:19 UTC

Oops ... forgot about that! But this is a WIP. So, I'll fix the boo-boo.

scout_lover February 18 2009, 05:23:44 UTC

I hated pointing that out, because it ruins such a great line. Drat …

rubygirl29 February 18 2009, 13:23:09 UTC

I hope there are more great lines to come!

The Hunt by rubygirl29 sgafan33 February 19 2009, 02:36:16 UTC

bitty beta: There was a gleam in her eyes that told him that Ronon hadn't been exactly discrete.
Wrong word. Discrete should be discreet.
http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/discreet.html

Re: The Hunt by rubygirl29 rubygirl29 February 19 2009, 02:48:48 UTC

I should know better than to trust MS Word! All will be fixed in the final version. Thanks for the catch!