Haunted by his past

[morethanpasta]

Who: North Italy/Feliciano Vargas morethanpasta and OPEN
What: Feliciano walks into the haunted house despite knowing better and meets a ghost masquerading as the Holy Roman Empire
When: Thursday evening
Where: Austria's house, then the haunted mansion
Warnings: PG
Status: In progress

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[clockwrkangel]

It's time to brave the house again, and Becca is eyeing it sceptically. It was horrible the first time she went in, she's not sure why she feels like she ought to go in the second time. Still, that's where she's heading when she spots Feliciano. She frowned, and knelt down beside him.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently, the same tone of voice she'd use when comforting her brother.

[morethanpasta]

He peered up at the girl with teary eyes, then pressed his face against his knees again. "No," he whispered. "I'm not okay!"

[clockwrkangel]

She bites her lip for a moment. She doesn't know him, but... But she can't help it. Despite the pain, she grits her teeth and moves to gather him into her arms, intending to rock him just like she would her little brother.

"That house is evil...the spirits in there are horrible... It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay."

[morethanpasta]

He curls up against her and wraps his arms around her waist, sniffling into her shoulder. "Holy Roman wouldn't... he wouldn't say such horrible things..." He doesn't want to believe it, he can't believe it.

[clockwrkangel]

She holds him and rocks him, and runs her fingers through his hair. She doesn't have the faintest idea who he's talking about, but she knows exactly what he's talking about. She pats him gently and makes soothing shushing sounds. "It's just that house...it makes things that say evil things, don't listen. Don't believe it."

[morethanpasta]

"I don't want to," he sniffles. "I don't want to believe it. Holy Roman loved me, he did! He wouldn't want me to hurt." He sobs loudly. "But... he's right."

[clockwrkangel]

"He doesn't need to hurt you with being right, though," she said, guessing vaguely about what had happened there based on her own experiences. "It'll be okay. It'll be okay, I promise."

She wipes his nose with her sleeve when he sniffles, then starts on his face. It's really just like having Alex back, and that makes her feel a bit warmer.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano closed his eyes and a sad little smile tugged on the corners of his lips at being such taken care of, being mothered. It felt a bit like being mothered by Hungary.

He sighed softly and shook his head. "You're right, but it won't be okay. He's right. I broke my promise."

[clockwrkangel]

She frowned, but didn't stop rocking him or stroking his hair. "Some promises have to be broken. We make them when we're little and don't know a whole lot about the world. As long as you tried your best...that's what matters." It's what she would have told Alex, and she hopes it's the right advice to help him stop hurting.

[morethanpasta]

Feliciano wasn't so sure if anything could make it stop hurt, in some ways it hadn't stopped hurting since Holy Roman Empire left centuries ago, never to return, not as the one who knew and loved him, anyway. Yet he nodded. "I did try my best," he whispered. "I waited so long for him. I kept hoping he would return. And then he did, in a way, but..." His sobs regained their intensity at that.

[clockwrkangel]

She rocked him gently, wishing she knew him better so she knew what to say that might actually help. She shushed him quietly, holding him and petting his hair. "But? He was different? Sometimes you have to break promises...even though it hurts, sometimes it's the right thing to do."

[morethanpasta]

It was, in this context, unfortunately the wrong thing to say, for Feliciano interpreted it the completely wrong way. With a wail, he clung tighter to Rebecca, sobbing brokenly. "Do you think he didn't want me anymore? But he promised, too! He promised he would love me forever, but when I saw him again, he acted as if he had never loved me! Maybe it's because I'm not a girl or because I'm weak, I know I am, but I try to be a good ally, I swear, I try!"

[clockwrkangel]

She holds him protectively, though she winces. She keeps rocking him, really it's all she can do. But she's willing to do this for him, willing to keep trying to calm him down.

"Maybe you just couldn't be together any more. He knew, so he tried to break it off. It hurts, but it happens that way sometimes."

[morethanpasta]

"Maybe," he agreed, though he remained doubtful. He must have done something wrong for Holy Roman not to want him anymore, that he had simply lost interest in him when he grew up into Germany is almost even more painful.

"I don't want it to be like that, though, I don't want it to hurt! Why can't we just be happy?"

[clockwrkangel]

She sighed inwardly, but hugged him a bit tighter. "Real life isn't like stories. Sometimes it's really painful and we don't get everything we want. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and there's nothing you can do about it..."

[morethanpasta]

For the first time, Feliciano looked up and truly looked at the girl that was holding him. He blinked, taken aback by her youth. "I'm very old, I know that bad things happen all the time in real life," he pouted. "But that doesn't make it right and it doesn't mean that you should accept it!" She was awfully cynical for one so young, he couldn't help but note. What had happened to the optimism of youth?