Comments | rubicks_complex: rp for <strong class="lj-user"><a href="/read/user/l_cuddy_md">l_cuddy

rubicks_complex

rp for l_cuddy_md

Jun 23, 2007 08:06

House waited until he was out of sight from the bar to stop and brace his hand against the wall. The way he’d landed on the floor when Dean tripped him up jarred his leg; it was throbbing sharply. The bruise on his chin where Dean had uppercut him was throbbing, too ( Read more... )

Leave a comment

Back to all threads

rubicks_complex June 23 2007, 00:22:40 UTC

House just glared at Cuddy for a moment without response. Part of him wanted to slap himself for getting as jealous about this as he was, because he not only didn't have confirmation from Cuddy herself that she did sleep with that Dean guy, but also because he'd allowed himself to get too attached to her ( ... )

rubicks_complex June 24 2007, 16:21:54 UTC

If Cuddy crying was anything to go by, House should've known she'd try to stop him from leaving. But he was taken off guard by her grabbing his arm, nonetheless. It was what she said, however, that threw House right off.

He stared down at her, almost in disbelief. House did a lot of outlandish, socially unacceptable things to either shock or dismay people. To be defiant and to be contrary. But if there was anything he didn't do, it was hit women. And never in his wildest dreams would he ever hit Cuddy, no matter how angry he was at her.

Staring down at her tear-streaked face, House almost - almost - felt himself relent. Not because she'd made such a crazy offer to let him hit her, but because it was Cuddy, and even through all his irrational anger, he still wanted her. Hell, he hadn't agreed to try out a relationship with her for nothing. He felt his fingers twitch, an impulse to reach up and push her hair from her face and wipe her tears from her cheeks ( ... )

l_cuddy_md June 24 2007, 16:52:50 UTC

Cuddy sagged, hunching over the sick, empty feeling in her gut, when House jerked away from her. She closed her eyes and waited for the slam of the door.

The sound of his voice actually startled her. She turned toward him, but had to rub the tears from her eyes before she could actually see him. "Not because I think you'd actually do it," she said. "No matter what your other faults, you're not physically violent to women."

She shrugged helplessly, then reached up to brush away more tears. "You're right; I'm pathetic. And desperate. And I hurt you and I need to make that right and I don't know how."

She wanted to be angry at House for the things he'd said. She wanted to be angry that he'd hold a meaningless sexual encounter against her when he'd had his share of meaningless sex. She wanted to be angry because it wouldn't hurt nearly so much. As usual, what she wanted and what she got were two entirely different things.

"If there's something I can do to make it right, then tell me. I'll do it."

rubicks_complex June 24 2007, 17:19:36 UTC

House was still bewildered that Cuddy had offered for him to hit her. She looked utterly pathetic, standing there and holding herself, crying. The sight should've continued to make him angry, defensive. But he'd found himself so utterly confounded by Cuddy that it had stunted some of his anger.

It wasn't until he shifted on the spot as he continued to peer at her and absently let his hand slip from the door handle, that he realised he was supposed to walking out and slamming the door behind him, not looking at Cuddy like he was reconsidering walking out. And then it struck him: he didn't want to walk out on Cuddy. Not really. The angry, hurt side of him wanted to leave, sure - but the side of him that wanted Cuddy wanted to stay ( ... )

l_cuddy_md June 24 2007, 17:42:41 UTC

"I'm a woman. I'm allowed to cry," she muttered under her breath, but she reached up and tried to wipe away the tears. All that did was smear the moisture all over her face and she finally grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt and pulled it up to wipe her face dry. All that did was make a mess of her shirt and she knew her face was probably still a mess. More, she couldn't promise she wouldn't continue to cry but for the moment her face was at least dry.

She didn't understand why House was still in the room. She would've thought he'd be back in his own room by now, probably taking out his anger on the furniture. He was still here, though, and she wasn't sure what to make of that. She was afraid to get her hopes up, to think that she could somehow make this right. Or at least, less wrong. But if he was still here then maybe he was giving her a chance to try.

"I know it's possible there's nothing I can do to fix this," she said, her voice sounding congested from crying. "But I mean it. If there's something I can do, I will."

rubicks_complex June 24 2007, 18:12:06 UTC

"Shut up!" House burst out in a frustrated voice. He thumped his head back against the door again. He wanted her to be quiet so he could think. Or so he didn't have to listen to her teary voice. It would be so easy to just leave and slam the door shut behind him... but if it was, then why wasn't he doing just that ( ... )

l_cuddy_md June 24 2007, 18:43:47 UTC

She flinched again when House yelled at her to shut up. She was nearly paralyzed; if she did or said anything it made him angrier, but if she didn't do or say anything then how could she fix this?

The way he shoved the chest didn't surprise her. She was only surprised he hadn't attacked something before now. But when House said she was all he had left, that was the punch he hadn't thrown physically. It felt like a physical blow and she jerked in reaction. He was only with her because he didn't have anyone else? Because she was better than nothing?She should never have pushed him for a relationship. She should've realized that all the years of them not having a relationship was because he wasn't interested in having a relationship with her, never had been ( ... )

rubicks_complex June 24 2007, 22:46:20 UTC

House halted when she agreed he should leave. But when she then suggested that he saw her as a last resort, he snapped his head to the side to look at her. What? Last resort? He was once more caught off guard by Cuddy's words and instead of following through with leaving, he turned fully to face her again with an exclaimed, "What?"

"When did I say that you were a 'last resort'?" he then demanded angrily. This time his anger was at Cuddy twisting his words. "Yes, of course you're all I have left. I'm all you have left. Does that therefore make me as much a 'meaningless, last resort' to you as you think you are to me ( ... )

l_cuddy_md June 24 2007, 23:12:18 UTC

The entire hotel could've blown up around her and she wouldn't have noticed. She was stunned by House's admission. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her? Since when? And why the hell hadn't he told her?

"Stop it. Just stop it." She could move pretty fast when she wanted to, and she caught House by the arm before he could open the door. She had enough adrenaline running through her to tug him around to face her. The fact that she'd caught him by surprise didn't hurt her effort. She fisted her hands in his shirt and, backed up against the door, there wasn't anywhere he could run without going through her first.

"You do care or you wouldn't be here punishing me for hurting you." It was all so pointless and stupid. It didn't have to be this way. If they'd just talked to each other, it wouldn't be this way.

"If I'd known you wanted me I would never have even considered sleeping with anyone else. Damn it, House, why couldn't you just tell me?"

rubicks_complex June 24 2007, 23:43:51 UTC

Cuddy grabbing his arm surprised him alright. He intended to throw the door open and go straight back to his room, shut himself in there. Or go down to the bar. Or go somewhere, where he could trash something or get trashed. But now he had Cuddy being yet another obstacle to prevent him from leaving ( ... )

l_cuddy_md June 25 2007, 00:30:57 UTC

"Yes, that's exactly what you should've done." Her grip on his shirt tightened and she wanted nothing more than to shake him. If House never told anyone he cared, how were they supposed to know? If he never let anyone in then how was anyone supposed to get in?

"I didn't hurt you because you let yourself be vulnerable. I hurt you because I didn't know you were vulnerable."

When House grasped her wrists her instinct was to grab onto his shirt even harder, refuse to be displaced. She'd fight for him if that's what it took. If he wanted her to prove she cared, she'd do it. What was tearing her up was the thought that he didn't want her doing anything at all that involved him.

She released his shirt, holding her hands just in front of his chest. "But it's only too late if you want it to be too late."

rubicks_complex June 25 2007, 00:52:37 UTC

He shot her another glare when she said he was vulnerable. He was not. He was not... who was he kidding? Yeah, that was exactly how he felt. He just didn't like that Cuddy had not only picked up on it, but had explicitly stated so. That just gave him all the more drive to want to get out of here. Because now what was he supposed to do? Leave and then what? Forget all about Cuddy, all about this thing between them ( ... )

l_cuddy_md June 25 2007, 02:01:51 UTC

Cuddy closed her eyes when House leaned his head against hers. After a moment, when he didn't immediately pull away from her again, she let her hands rest against his chest. She didn't grab his shirt or try to hold him, she simply...touched him.

God damn it, indeed. She felt like she was walking a tightrope. Blindfolded. She didn't know where to step. Worse, she wasn't sure there was any place that was safe to step. And the only person who could tell her what move to make...really wasn't in the mood to help her.

She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut and murmured, "House...."

rubicks_complex June 25 2007, 02:28:29 UTC

He was about to push away again when he felt her hands on his chest. Stupid that a simple gesture as being touched made him want to stay close to Cuddy for just a minute longer when he'd just been so angry with her moments before. Really, by coming to her room and demanding to know about Dean, House had no idea what to expect. He hadn't been thinking about anything beyond his jealousy - and now here he was, feeling himself caving towards Cuddy ( ... )

l_cuddy_md June 25 2007, 03:05:57 UTC

Cuddy could feel the tension in House's body under her hands. She understood on some level that he wasn't simply struggling against her, but with himself. He was distrustful by nature, and she'd done something that only confirmed in his mind that he had reason to be distrustful. The fact that he was struggling with it and not just writing her off as a lost cause was the best she could hope for at the moment.

She closed her eyes when he pressed his lips against her forehead, wishing she could go back and not sleep with Dean. Damn Hotel twisted time six ways to Sunday so why couldn't she go back and undo it? Other than the fact that would be too easy. Other than the fact that she might go back and make it worse, although she didn't know how that would be possible.

She reached down and clasped his hand, the one that was resting on her hip, in her own and nodded at the foot of the bed. "Please, come sit with me. Just for a minute. After that, if you want to yell at me some more or leave or.... Have at it."

rubicks_complex June 25 2007, 03:21:18 UTC

He glanced down at her hand holding his, then back up to her face and nodded. For a minute, he could do that. And then maybe he'd leave. To do what, he didn't know. Think, maybe ( ... )

Back to all threads