Comments | rt_challenge: Prompts #2 & #21: Untouchables

mrstater in rt_challenge

Prompts #2 & #21: Untouchables

Mar 24, 2008 18:29

Title: Untouchables
Author: MrsTater
Format & Word Count: one-shot, 6985 words
Rating: PG-13
Prompts: #2; #21 - I If you gave me nothing / Nothing more than this / I would have the / memory to keep / Let me make a simple wish / As we fall asleep / Let me wake with you by my side ("Always" by the October Project)
Warning: abusive language, post- ( Read more... )

march ficathon, prompt 2, mrstater, prompt 21

Comments 30

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mrstater March 25 2008, 21:18:56 UTC

Aw, thank you so much for your lovely comments. I'm so very pleased to know you think this reads as a realistic fleshing out of the events we only see glimpses of in canon. Everyone has their own idea of what happened off screen, and I really hoped this would be a version of things that would ring true for other people.

I hadn't really planned ahead of time for Ted to go off like he did in the post-torture scene, but I kept thinking about how irrational it is that he thinks Andromeda will be safe if he goes away, it occurred to me that I could condense that into the timeline while Remus is gone and let it be influenced by what Bellatrix does to them. Anyway, I'm rambling, but I'm very glad you think it worked, and had emotional effect.

Your feedback is very much appreciate. :)

shoebox_addict March 25 2008, 00:03:51 UTC

Oh, Tonks got Moody's house...what a nice touch! Also love the idea of passing on a gift through the Marauders. :)
Lucius Malfoy's bile is disgusting but it's exactly something he would say.
Oh my, I was really shocked at what Ted said to Remus. This is certainly something we didn't get to see in the book. I feel like you're giving more backing to Remus' decision to leave and that's really helping to understand him. Helps to understand what he said to Harry at Grimmauld Place too. Well done! I really enjoyed this fic, as much as I enjoyed the others and I'd like to thank you for filling in the gaps that were present in DH. It's really great to read these. Thanks. :)

mrstater March 25 2008, 21:24:45 UTC

Thank you very much! I'm very pleased you liked this despite some of the heaviness and felt it explained some of Remus' actions in the book. It's great to know you're enjoying reading these fill-in-the-blank pieces, because I'm enjoying writing them!

fthpfthpfthp March 25 2008, 00:58:00 UTC

You're GENIUS! Genius, I tell you! You nailed this one through and through!
-The brilliant description of their flight from the birthday party (Remus grabs her wrist... switches to her hand... helps her over the fence = perfect characterization)
-The DEs in attendance at the wedding leaving Bellatrix to torture the Tonkses and the way that Remus and Dora's thoughts stumble onto that idea
-The utterly horrible scene at the Tonks home.
-Ted's tortured rant
-The perfect set-up for the conversation btwn Ted and Remus that you flash on in "In Peace"

Have I mentioned You are a GENIUS!?
I wish I had one of those little deviantart emoticons that kowtow...

mrstater March 25 2008, 21:26:35 UTC

Wow, thanks! I was quite nervous about how this would go over but you've put those insecurities to an end. I'm so pleased you think these scenes work in a logical way! I really appreciate your encouraging words about this. :D

fthpfthpfthp March 26 2008, 06:15:23 UTC

You're welcome ( ... )

mrstater March 26 2008, 12:48:58 UTC

Aw, that's just so lovely and just what a writer wants to hear. Thank you again. :D

Yeah, I wasn't sure how well the inheritance would go over with everyone, but I just couldn't bear to have the newlyweds mooching off her parents all year...And I'd hoped that precedence of Harry inheriting from Sirius would make it more believable. ;)

sspring92 March 25 2008, 02:32:54 UTC

Oh....MY....God!!! So good and disturbing at the same time. I like the idea of Ted's tortured rant sending Remus over the edge. it never really made sense to me the way he took off and left her. Much more believable for me this way.
The "interrogation" by the Death Eaters was also very striking (no pun intended) Of course since HP was technically a children's book (although i do question that with DH) The vileness of the verbal attack was very realistic as to what I personally would expect from the character of Lucius Malfoy.
Well, I'm off to look for some fluff now!

mrstater March 25 2008, 21:47:39 UTC

Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thought certain events of DH just didn't make sense, and that you feel this connects them in a logical way. The interrogation was one of those things that really didn't make sense to me; I couldn't figure out why the DEs wouldn't just kill the Order since they had them there. Probably as you said, it's that JKR was writing a children's book, but I did go crazy trying to make sense of it so the fake!interrogation was what I came up with. Very glad you liked!

Hope you found some fluff to cheer you up. ;)

drumher March 25 2008, 03:31:22 UTC

I've held the opinion that when Remus left to find Harry, he hadn't "abandoned" Tonks & the baby at all but was doing what needed to be done as a high ranking member of the Order. His thoughts of regret and leaving them "for their own good" only came about while on the road and then the meeting with Harry brought everything to a head. Some people may think I'm cutting him too much slack but all I need do is point them to this here story and say..."See? mrstater's got it all figured out and it makes complete sense.

As always, I'm amazed how you can take the smallest bits of info from JKR and blend them into a story with so much depth.

mrstater March 25 2008, 22:03:38 UTC

Aw, thank you so much. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who imagined something like this, and that you like the way I've put it into words. :)

drumher March 26 2008, 03:51:19 UTC

And that's why you're the writer and I'm only a sporadic reviewer!

Since we're only given a few glimpses of Remus & Tonks from JKR, I can see how many people would think that their DH relationship wasn't all happy happy joy joy. But we also have to remember that we're seeing it through Harry's eyes and apart from his spot on "advice" to Remus in chapter 11, he can be fairly oblivious. All this babbling is to say that I'm lovin' your take on DH by giving them some good moments between having to deal with all the crap life is throwing at them.

By the by...I finished Jonathan S today. Wow. What a wonderful read it was and not lusty Vampire in sight! The last third really kicked in and my ten minute coffee break this afternoon took 30 minutes as I had to finish it! I think I'm going to pick up The Ladies of Grace Adieu, as I'm not quite ready to move on yet.

mrstater March 26 2008, 12:47:05 UTC

But we also have to remember that we're seeing it through Harry's eyes and apart from his spot on "advice" to Remus in chapter 11, he can be fairly oblivious.

I totally agree, and that's the approach I take to writing fanfic -- when it comes to Harry's POV, it ain't necessarily so! And the thing that drives me bonkers about Harry is that he's not. right.. Remus' concerns aren't ridiculous. He has every right to feel the way he does, and why couldn't Harry ask some questions to find out why Remus is having this colossal freakout, instead of jumping right to judging him? Harry cannot see beyond his own issues, and I hate that Harry's painted as the one who's right while Remus is in the wrong, because it's not a black and white issue! And the same goes for the Expelliarmus thing, though I'd better get off my soapbox ( ... )

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