Fic - In the Aftermath (prompts 18, 20 & 28)

[gilpin25]

Title: In the Aftermath
Author: gilpin25
Format & Word Count: Fic, 7395 words
Rating: Pg-13
Prompt: prompt 18 - first person; 20 - genre: romance (plus a load of angst); 28 - “I’ll be your mirror…” The Velvet Underground.
Warning: Language. Mild, but the narrator's stressed. ;)
Summary: “There are some things, some looks, so private you shouldn’t ever see

Comments

[helsinkibaby]

There is not enough love in the world to describe how I feel about this fic.

Your Ron is pitch perfect. The whole Lupin/Tonks scene at the end is simply gorgeous (and if I end up writing a drabble-y thing about them sitting stargazing and eating toast, please don't kill me, I just love that image!) Love how you work in the Ron/Hermione angle, and loved him thinking how well placed the Hufflepuffs were for a midnight snack! Nice bit with the Gryffindor common room being high up because of their lofty ideals, while the Hufflepuff one was more down to earth...

*goes to flail, rec, and read again*

[gilpin25]

I think I'd like to book you in as first reviewer every time if you're going to say such nice things! Thank you very much.:D

I did enjoy writing Ron before - he's such a great blend of obliviousness, and his own special kind of astuteness and humour, as well as the food fixation! - and he was even better this time around. I was worried no one would want to read yet another hospital fic in the world but I thought he'd have a far more personal angle on it than Harry after Bill was attacked, which would also enable him to see R/T with different eyes. When I read the scene again, it's clear how scared he is for Bill and how angry at Dumbledore, so that all seemed very similar to someone else there too.

I only got the idea for the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff common rooms at the very last minute, so I'm really pleased you like that.

(and if I end up writing a drabble-y thing about them sitting stargazing and eating toast, please don't kill me, I just love that image!)I'd look forward to reading it! I seem to have a thing about them

[gobstones]

This is amazing, it truly did make me cry, and for good reason - your characterisation was perfect and your Lupin/Tonks was all at once incredibly heartbreaking and incredibly lovely. Ron, too, I have to say is one of the best written Rons I've seen - his trying to concentrate on the fact his brother's been hurt and feeling terrified and thinking he's done everything wrong is just beautiful. You did an amazing job, to put it mildly. :)

[gilpin25]

Thank you so much - though I feel guilty for making you cry!

Ron's a wonderful narrator; I enjoyed writing him before but I think he was even more fun this time around, even though I was worried no one would want to read another hospital fic in the world. ;) But he's wonderfully oblivious so you can see how he'd be so near to guessing about R/T but not quite make that final leap. Yet I also think he's quite astute in his own way, and caring so much about what happened to Bill would make him see the revelations in the hospital in a different, and more personal way, to Harry.

And I'm glad you liked the R/T because I didn't really want to wrap it all up quickly and neatly at the end - on the other hand, Ron couldn't stand there listening for two hours, thinking about his much-longed for bacon sandwich, lol. So I was just hoping it didn't read too quick and easy after all that.

Thank you for such a lovely review and comments. :)

[train_lindz]

That was absolutely breathtaking. Your Ron was dead on.
I'd love to comment more, but you seem to have made me speechless. :)

[gilpin25]

Thank you very much.

I do enjoy writing Ron but he does worry me as I haven't got much experience of being a sixteen year old boy! (Or any handy brothers to ask). So it's great you think I got him right - he's such a fascinating blend of obliviousness, and his own kind of astuteness and humour in the books, and it seemed he'd have a whole different take on the scene to Harry with Bill being hurt. And, of course, his liking for food at all times was incredibly useful at the end, when I was desperately trying to think how he could possibly know how R/T were finally sorting themselves out. ;)

Thanks again. It's great to know you enjoyed it so much. :)

[reforzado]

"Wow." was literally the first thought that entered my head once I finished this story.

There is so much greatness in this story that I hardly where to begin. First of all, I love how you write Ron as the narrator. There's the mix of humor (or simply amusing teenage boy-ness), insecurity and awkward sweetness that makes Ron such a good character - and you totally nailed his voice. I especially laughed at "Krum and his doubtless very muscular and powerful thighs". Then, of course, the Remus/Tonks parts are so well written. I like that their feelings are silent, but noticeable to the point that Ron takes notice. And finally, the last scene is just <3. So poignant and heartbreaking.. but happy.

This is really a fantastic fic, on so many levels.

[gilpin25]

Thank you for such lovely comments.

I do like writing Ron - even though I have the occasional complete panic about knowing nothing about being a sixteen year old boy - because he's just so great to tell a story with. Especially one like this where we all know what the big surprise is going to be but he doesn't. He's such a wonderful blend of obliviousness and honesty, and so it was fun to let him get very, very near to the truth and then still not see it coming at all. I also thought he would have a completely different viewpoint to Harry, being so upset and angry over Bill, and that was the perfect tie into, firstly, Remus and then R/T.

I do think he'd sneak a look at Molly's books in an effort to learn something, lol. And probably worry a lot about Krum's muscular thighs

[drumher]

I thought the HBP hospital scene had been done to death but you've breathed new life into it. Makes me wish the entire HP series had been from Ron's POV. Loved Ron and his conflicting teen=aged thoughts and oh, the final scene with Remus and Tonks was just beautiful. Thank you!

[gilpin25]

Glad you enjoyed it! I was worried no one would ever want to read another hospital fic in the world...

I do love writing Ron, despite the occasional complete panic that I know very little about being a sixteen year old boy, lol. But he's such a great mixture of things and doing it from the Bill angle seemed to tie in with R/T so well, and why that might be important to him. Plus I was incredibly grateful for his liking for food at all times when I was wracking my brains for some feasible way he could possibly know how R/T sorted it all out at the end. ;)

Thank you.:D

[drumher]

You do have to tread a fine line when you're writing from another's POV. You need them to be slightly voyeuristic, yet don't want to cross into kinky territory. The food angle saved Ron from becoming some kind of peeping tom.

[gilpin25]

The food angle saved Ron from becoming some kind of peeping tom.

I don't know - after Molly in the other one, I'm a bit worried I've now created a Peeping Eating Ron. ;)