(Untitled)

[joely_jo]

Title - An Illegal Meeting
Author - Joely
Prompt - #15, the picture of the beer and cigarette
Format and Word Count - Fic, 2,492 words.
Rating - PG
Summary - Remus has the Ministry to thank for this…
Author’s Notes - Set pre-OotP. Again, fairly straight-forward and nothing unusual, but I’m writing R/T because I’m enjoying it. Hope you enjoy it too.

Smoke

Comments

[jadeddiva]

Lovely writing as usual, and I love the plot - sharing that uniqueness, and Tonks straightforward attitude but...I have a bit of a critique, if you promise not to hate me.

[joely_jo]

Sure... Though I'm a bit worried now as this is obviously huge...

[jadeddiva]

No, not huge at all - just a nitpick which is my own criticism, nothing more. Something about Tonks talking to Remus about "Dumbledore and the Order" in such a completely casual manner seems off. The Order's supposed to be secret, for the most part, and to have her a)know of him after she just joined and b) not have him be skeptical at all of her knowing of the Order and him and all that doesn't work for me. I mean, the rest of the story is completely fine - the Order stuff just jars me a bit. Mostly because a secret organization dedicated to fighting Voldemort with a secret headquarters and a fugitive and a hippogriff doesn't seem like bus-time conversation. Unless I missed something.

[joely_jo]

This thought has crossed my mind as well. I didn't think it would matter so much about secrecy as it was a Muggle bus, but now that I think about it, you're probably right. I might change it later so it reads that Tonks (being a bit daft on the social graces front) blurts something out only for Remus to shhh her. Would that work? That way I wouldn't have to change too much of the storyline.

[shimotsuki]

A nice take on the idea that the werewolf/metamorphmagus connection might give them something in common. I especially liked the way you have Remus start to make a comment about the red stamp on her card, before realizing what he's doing -- it puts him on the other side of the situation for a change!

I liked this, too:
"I could..." He stopped, then turned slightly in his seat to look at her. "You could come with me. We could go together."
The way he stops himself and restarts, using pronouns that aren't I, seems so characteristic of self-effacing Remus.

[joely_jo]

Thank you. The ID cards thing is in the pipelines in Britain and it got me wondering whether Remus and Tonks would be forced to 'confess' their specific natures on a card... And then the werewolf/metamorphmagus thing would come in and rear its ugly head without them having to actually really 'talk' about it.

[devonwood]

I love this idea of their meeting; the Werewolf/Metamorphmagus giving them a connection deeper than the usual "people stare at us" one. By having a card that singles them both out, they are in the same boat. This was an interesting way of bringing them together. (Sorry, I'm about to fall asleep on my feet -er, chair-, and I can't think properly) :D.

Lovely use of prompt, and the ending was spectacular. "He's with me." So adorable. :)

[joely_jo]

Thank you. I actually thought that the werewolf/metamorphmagus could, in theory, be something that they could both hide pretty well, but that the card would force them to confess something and so remove their privacy in the biggest way possible. And I liked it better than traditional 'love at first sight' ideas - even though it's less romantic! :)

[lady_bracknell]

I really liked this. The idea - how ID cards and how they might be used to define people by one aspect of them is really interesting, and I liked how you dealt with it, how being 'outed' by the cards in their pockets is something Remus and Tonks could share, and how that's the thing that brings them together, giving them a common enemy, as it were. Loved the bit about Remus asking Tonks if she wanted to go to the meeting with him, and I can just imagine them huddled in a corner somwhere, trying to charm their ID cards to say something else.

[joely_jo]

ID cards are supposedly coming to Britain (all the name of the Fight Against Terror *sigh*) and there have been tremendous debates about them. It just occurred to me that Remus and Tonks would probably, out of all the people in the world, find such an invasion most detrimental. Thanks for your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

[lyra_lupin]

Brilliant! Have you recently seen, Children of Men?

[joely_jo]

Thank you! No, I haven't seen it, though I've seen the DVD advertised on the telly. It's the one with Michael Caine in, isn't it? Is this similar, or something?