Prompt 9, Prompt 10
Title: Remus and the Tramp pt 1
Author: Devonwood
Format and Word Count: Ficlet; 577
Rating: Borderline PG/ PG-13 (K+/T)
Prompt: Prompt 9 (bump). Prompt 10 (Dolly Parton quote)
Warning: None.
Summary: Although he looked it, Remus Lupin was not that old. However, he was sure that this was the first time in history those words had ever been spoken without being followed by an angry slap.
Author's Note: I was writing too much angst, I decided, so I ate a bunch of sugar and produced this mess. :) Story will be continued later in the ficathon. Much love to Dolly Parton for the quote. I will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
“You look like a hussy.”
“Thank you!”
Although he looked it, Remus Lupin was not that old. However, he was sure that this was the first time in history those words had ever been spoken without being followed by an angry slap.
While sitting in his favorite kitchen chair in Grimmauld Place, he had been treated to a wonderful, but not very surprising, surprise. His partner for the day, Nymphadora Tonks, was dressed from head to toe in an outfit that reminded him of the girls who used to pull up their skirts before they entered his Defense Against The Dark Arts class. She had on a shirt that was much too tight, with a neckline that dropped precariously close to the edge of the red lacey bra he could make out through the white blouse. Her shorts were scarcely even visible without a microscope, and she had on a pair of fishnet stockings with a large rip in the knee that went all the way down her long, pale legs to the red stiletto heels that must have been horrible to walk in. Her hair was bright platinum blonde, and she had morphed the first few centimeters of it brown, as if her roots were showing. Her face was caked with makeup, and she had on such a dark shade of lipstick that Remus began to feel sweat drip down his forehead.
But the thing that topped off the whole ensemble was the fact that Tonks had morphed a tiny hump in her belly, just large enough so that it looked like she was with child, but not enough so that she would have a hard time dodging Death Eaters -although Remus had different feelings about her choice of shoes. She waddled a bit when she walked, but other than that, she seemed perfectly stunning normal.
Kingsley had given them no other details about the mission, other than the fact that they should look as -in his own words, "like a stripper and a bum” as possible. Remus just took the most moth-eaten jumper he had, and paired it with khaki pants that had a hole running from the pocket to the bottom in a zigzagging pattern. Tonks, it seemed, had gone all out for the occasion.
“You really like it? I modeled my looks after the town tramp.” Tonks mentioned, spinning around in a circle, so that Remus could take in the full effect. He had a hard time keeping focus when presented with such a dizzying expanse of the Auror’s pale skin, but he swallowed deeply when she turned around to face him.
“Lovely.” He replied, a tad raspy. Tonks got a strange glint in her teal eyes, but she blinked it away quickly.
“So, shall we go?” She chirped, hunting around for her wand on the table for a moment, before finding it and slipping it into her back pocket. Tonks smiled warmly, and Remus suddenly forgot his skill for replying in a gentleman-like manner.
He nodded while averting his eyes, but if he hadn’t, he would have seen Tonks’s wicked grin.
“Kingley said to meet him at the Ministry.” Tonks started to walk out of the kitchen, but Remus stopped her.
“You’re going into your office dressed like that?”
Tonks smirked, and raised her eyebrows at him over her shoulder in what he could only describe later as a ‘come hither’ look.
“This is nothing. You should see me on Casual Friday.”