Simply Dangling- Prompt 5

[devonwood]

Title: Simply Dangling
Author: Devonwood
Format & Word Count: Fic; 1,674
Rating: PG/ K+
Prompt: Prompt 5 (Margaret Atwood poem)
Warning: Gets a little cheesy at the end. You might want to bring some crackers.
Summary: “Y’know, for the entire day of December 31st, I always feel as if I’m dangling.”

Author's Note: I decided to use the prompt as more of

Comments

[eshesh]

Hem. I was once the recipient of a postcard a day over the summer hols when I was separated from my very smitten boyfriend. Those were the days, but long past I'm afraid. It WAS awfully romantic, so I liked that part of the story. But the concept of throwing the shoebox items, or what they represent anyway, into the sea was a truly inspired idea. If it isn't a tradition, it should be.

[devonwood]

But the concept of throwing the shoebox items, or what they represent anyway, into the sea was a truly inspired idea

I remember reading something similar to throwing memories into the sea somewhere a long time ago, I think it might have been a CSI fanfiction, but the idea has stuck with me ever since. I just had to use it sometime, and since I was having problems with this prompt, I decided to break it out. :D

Thank you for the lovely review! :)

[jncar]

That was lovely.

The idea of cleansing herself of bad memories by throwing them into the ocean is wonderful, especially because she wants to share that with Remus.

And I like that it is a tradition she started with her dad. I liked the touch of humor when Remus gets nervous that he is one of the things that she wants to get rid of, and she says, “And that wasn’t code for ‘I’m breaking up with you’." Very cute.

And the bit about her yelling at Dumbledore over the letters is very touching.

Two bits of concrit now. This line: A shoebox was sitting next to her shoes which, given their proximity, he would have assumed that they belonged together, if he hadn’t ever seen her wear those boots before. The construction here seems awkward, and it doesn't flow very well. Maybe you could separate it into 2 sentances, or something?

And also the part with the picture of the Black rose--I liked the concept, but wasn't entirely sure if it had been meant as a threat or just a reminder.

But all in all, a very nice story.

[devonwood]

I liked the touch of humor when Remus gets nervous that he is one of the things that she wants to get rid of

I couldn't have the whole thing be somber. I kept wanting to crack jokes at innapropriate times, and I eventually cut it down to just this little snippet. Also, I think that Remus and Tonks would still have some trust issues they needed to work out, so I think it worked nicely. :)

The construction here seems awkward, and it doesn't flow very well. Maybe you could separate it into 2 sentances, or something?

That sounds like a better idea. :)

And also the part with the picture of the Black rose--I liked the concept, but wasn't entirely sure if it had been meant as a threat or just a reminder.It's more of a little bit of both. The Blacks want Tonks to remember that she is one of them, even though they did outcast her and Andromeda. And it's a little bit of a threat for two reasons; they want her to remember they are family so that she won't fight against them, and also the dark side now knows where she lives

[iamweebles]

That was lovely, though I must admit that my favorite part by far was Tonks' use of the word "dangling" to describe the limbo of the new year. That resonated with me and really seemed to encapsulate the introspective part of her personality. I really enjoyed that glimpse into her.

[devonwood]

though I must admit that my favorite part by far was Tonks' use of the word "dangling" to describe the limbo of the new year

That line was the process of me over-analyzing someone's feelings about the New Year. :D But I loved it, so it stayed.

Thank you for the lovely review.

[no_sweeter_song]

I love this so so much. Hanging on to what they could have had, moving forward, and her showing him how tightly she hung on to him. It was really beautiful, and a very touching piece. I enjoyed that.

[devonwood]

Thank you for the lovely comments!

I always like to reflect a little bit around the New Years, so I let Tonks do it for me. :D

[molly_coddles]

Lovely, truly inspired. I like the whole 'out with the old, in with the new' theme.
Well done! :)

[devonwood]

Thank you for the review. The New Year inspired me, lol. :)