(no subject)
Title: Playing Your Cards Right
Author: Joely
joely_jo
Format: Ficlet, word count 1,339
Rating: PG-13
Author’s Note: This started life as a dialogue exercise because this prompt caused the most rabid of plotbunnies, but I expanded it a bit. Unusually for me, it might even be categorised as ‘humour’… ;)
“Wotcher…” Two faces looked up from the kitchen table in reply; one of them smiled warmly, the other smirked.
“Evening, Tonks…” Sirius greeted.
Remus leaned forward slightly. “You look very smart,” he said.
“I do?” Tonks turned around from the cupboard where she had been hunting for something and looked at Remus. Something in her eyes sparkled. “This is just my work uniform.” She smoothed her shirt slightly. “I don’t normally wear it, but we had an inspection this morning and I thought I’d better try to make a good impression.”
“And did you?” Remus asked.
She nodded, “Yeah… seemed to go dead well, actually, and I distracted them with a few eye-colour changes in the interview. I reckon the bloke thought I was a bit unwell.”
Remus laughed and Sirius smirked again. “Well, I’m going upstairs to get changed. What are you two doing down here anyway? The sun’s blazing outside.”
“Playing cards…” said Sirius, then added in a voice so low only Remus could hear him, “but not hard to get, though.”
Remus coughed and narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Okay,” said Tonks. “I might join you in a bit. Is there room for me?”
“Always… and you needn’t worry, it’s not strip poker…”
Tonks giggled, flashing a glance at Remus then looking away. Sirius watched as Remus turned a faint shade of beetroot. Tonks, however, didn’t seem to notice, and left the room, singing to herself.
After letting the silence hang for a moment, Sirius pounced, his voice deadpan, “You should be careful of her, Remus. She is, after all, my cousin… and you do know that if you so much as dared to place a hand on her, I’d break your kneecaps.”
Remus’ head snapped around in shock. He’d just got his blushes under control and now his face was paling. “You’re joking…” he said, finally.
“No, I’m deadly serious, old friend. She’s too young to be messed about by someone with your emotional baggage.”
Remus paused at that, then nodded slowly. “Thank you for that, Sirius.” He said. “I had no idea your sympathy for my condition was so overwhelming. And anyway, for your information, I’m not interested in Tonks.”
Smoothly, Sirius tipped the playing cards from the pack, spread them out on the table, and began to sort through them, turning them all face down. “It’s got nothing to do with sympathy,” he explained as he picked up one card and admired the half-naked witch adorning the back face. “It’s about me looking out for my little cousin, who frankly is a fool if she goes on flirting with you.”
“Flirting?” Remus looked up. “You think she’s flirting?”
Sirius grinned in triumph, “A-ha! You said you weren’t interested in her and listen to you! You’ve got it bad, my friend…”
“Hm. I think all that time in Azkaban has warped you.”
Sirius gathered the cards together and tapped them on the surface of the table to neaten them up. “That’s true,” he agreed. “But it’s made me sharper too. You could use a quick stay in there, Remus, it might wake up your senses a bit.”
“Wake up my senses?”
“Mm…” He started to shuffle the cards. “I mean, I would have thought the last little romantic obsession you had would’ve put you off women for life.”
Remus swallowed. “You mean Lily?” Sirius nodded and grinned. Shaking his head, Remus added, “You think I’ve been sitting back all these years you were rotting away in prison practising vows of celibacy because of Lily?”
An eyebrow arched, Sirius chuckled, “Well, now, from what Arthur’s told me, that’s not far wrong…”
Remus opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it. “Ah, you see!” Sirius crowed. “I was right again. You’ve spent the last sixteen years with nothing but your hand and your memories for company haven’t you?”
“You’re revolting.” Remus said, but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“Don’t worry, old friend, you’re not alone in that respect.”
Footsteps sounded in the hallway then, and they both dropped their voices. “Here comes Trouble,” Sirius grinned. “Try not to blush so obviously this time, hm?”
“Be quiet!” Remus hissed.
The door swung open and Tonks stumbled down the steps to the kitchen, now wearing a pair of loose jeans and an aging blue t-shirt. Sirius grinned gleefully then said in a loud voice, as if he were finishing a conversation, “Eh, well, you know what they say, don’t you, Remus? Once bitten, twice shy…” He roared with laughter at his own joke and Remus threw him a look of utter disdain. Tonks had stopped in front of them both and was frowning at them both.
“I sometimes think you two should be married…” she said, shaking her head. Sirius chuckled and fluttered his eyelashes at Remus.
“Oh, Moony, you dish, shall we?”
Tonks rolled her eyes with the tolerance of someone who’d seen it all before and plopped herself down in the seat right next to Remus. Sirius chuckled again and added, “That seat is so comfortable, isn’t it, Tonks?” prompting another sigh from his friend.
“You’re pathetic, did you know that?” growled Remus.
“It’s been said before, but it doesn’t keep me awake at night,” Sirius said, and swung his chair onto its back legs, rocking precariously for a minute.
“No, I don’t suppose…”
Tonks leaned forward. “Are you playing cards, or is there something going on here I should know about?”
Sirius arched his eyebrows at Remus. “I don’t know… Why don’t you ask our friend the werewolf here?”
Tonks sighed. “Nevermind… Give me the cards, will you?” Sirius passed the cards towards her and she examined them a moment, “Couldn’t have picked a better set, could you? These are practically pornographic. Where did you get them, or shouldn’t I ask?”
“You shouldn’t ask,” Sirius replied. “There’s nothing wrong with them though… They’re all clothed… partially, at least…” he allowed, grinning.
“Yeah…” Tonks sounded unconvinced.
“And there’s nothing wrong with a man appreciating feminine beauty anyway… Ask Remus…”
Tonks looked at Sirius then at Remus then slammed the cards down on the table. “Right, that’s it. I’m not playing unless one of you tells me what in Gringott’s Vaults is going on here…”
Remus groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Now look what you’ve done,” he accused, turning to face Sirius, who just grinned toothily.
“Oh, alright…” he sighed melodramatically. “Stand up, Tonks, will you?”
“You what?”
“You heard.”
Slowly, and still wearing the frown from before, Tonks pushed the chair back with an awkward scrape and stood up. “Turn around will you? All the way, that’s it…” Sirius encouraged until she was returned to facing them again. “And now look at Remus…”
Tonks inclined her head questioningly, then looked at Remus, who was blushing furiously. “Remus?” she asked.
Remus made a face as if his toenails were being pulled. “Merlin, it’s hot in here!” he exclaimed and fluttered his hand nervously in front of him. “Does anybody mind if I open a window?”
“Remus?!” Tonks said again, and this time there was more understanding in her voice, mixed with a little surprise though. “I had no idea…”
“No idea, what?” babbled Remus, standing up in a hurry and pulling out his wand.
“No idea you found me so attractive…” She moved forward and placed her hands on his shoulders. He flinched instinctively.
“I, er, oh…”
“Good job you’re not so unattractive yourself then, hey?” she smiled. Remus blinked and couldn’t help his mouth falling ever so slightly open. She giggled at his response, then stood on her tip-toes and kissed him full on the lips.
Frozen to the spot, Remus heard a crow of laughter from behind him as a pair of small hands gripped his waist. “Kiss me back, then, you daft bugger…” came her voice against his lips.
He paused a moment, then obeyed, and as he did, there was a soft chuckle and then the sound of the door closing.
The End.
Author: Joely
joely_jo
Format: Ficlet, word count 1,339
Rating: PG-13
Author’s Note: This started life as a dialogue exercise because this prompt caused the most rabid of plotbunnies, but I expanded it a bit. Unusually for me, it might even be categorised as ‘humour’… ;)
“Wotcher…” Two faces looked up from the kitchen table in reply; one of them smiled warmly, the other smirked.
“Evening, Tonks…” Sirius greeted.
Remus leaned forward slightly. “You look very smart,” he said.
“I do?” Tonks turned around from the cupboard where she had been hunting for something and looked at Remus. Something in her eyes sparkled. “This is just my work uniform.” She smoothed her shirt slightly. “I don’t normally wear it, but we had an inspection this morning and I thought I’d better try to make a good impression.”
“And did you?” Remus asked.
She nodded, “Yeah… seemed to go dead well, actually, and I distracted them with a few eye-colour changes in the interview. I reckon the bloke thought I was a bit unwell.”
Remus laughed and Sirius smirked again. “Well, I’m going upstairs to get changed. What are you two doing down here anyway? The sun’s blazing outside.”
“Playing cards…” said Sirius, then added in a voice so low only Remus could hear him, “but not hard to get, though.”
Remus coughed and narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Okay,” said Tonks. “I might join you in a bit. Is there room for me?”
“Always… and you needn’t worry, it’s not strip poker…”
Tonks giggled, flashing a glance at Remus then looking away. Sirius watched as Remus turned a faint shade of beetroot. Tonks, however, didn’t seem to notice, and left the room, singing to herself.
After letting the silence hang for a moment, Sirius pounced, his voice deadpan, “You should be careful of her, Remus. She is, after all, my cousin… and you do know that if you so much as dared to place a hand on her, I’d break your kneecaps.”
Remus’ head snapped around in shock. He’d just got his blushes under control and now his face was paling. “You’re joking…” he said, finally.
“No, I’m deadly serious, old friend. She’s too young to be messed about by someone with your emotional baggage.”
Remus paused at that, then nodded slowly. “Thank you for that, Sirius.” He said. “I had no idea your sympathy for my condition was so overwhelming. And anyway, for your information, I’m not interested in Tonks.”
Smoothly, Sirius tipped the playing cards from the pack, spread them out on the table, and began to sort through them, turning them all face down. “It’s got nothing to do with sympathy,” he explained as he picked up one card and admired the half-naked witch adorning the back face. “It’s about me looking out for my little cousin, who frankly is a fool if she goes on flirting with you.”
“Flirting?” Remus looked up. “You think she’s flirting?”
Sirius grinned in triumph, “A-ha! You said you weren’t interested in her and listen to you! You’ve got it bad, my friend…”
“Hm. I think all that time in Azkaban has warped you.”
Sirius gathered the cards together and tapped them on the surface of the table to neaten them up. “That’s true,” he agreed. “But it’s made me sharper too. You could use a quick stay in there, Remus, it might wake up your senses a bit.”
“Wake up my senses?”
“Mm…” He started to shuffle the cards. “I mean, I would have thought the last little romantic obsession you had would’ve put you off women for life.”
Remus swallowed. “You mean Lily?” Sirius nodded and grinned. Shaking his head, Remus added, “You think I’ve been sitting back all these years you were rotting away in prison practising vows of celibacy because of Lily?”
An eyebrow arched, Sirius chuckled, “Well, now, from what Arthur’s told me, that’s not far wrong…”
Remus opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it. “Ah, you see!” Sirius crowed. “I was right again. You’ve spent the last sixteen years with nothing but your hand and your memories for company haven’t you?”
“You’re revolting.” Remus said, but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“Don’t worry, old friend, you’re not alone in that respect.”
Footsteps sounded in the hallway then, and they both dropped their voices. “Here comes Trouble,” Sirius grinned. “Try not to blush so obviously this time, hm?”
“Be quiet!” Remus hissed.
The door swung open and Tonks stumbled down the steps to the kitchen, now wearing a pair of loose jeans and an aging blue t-shirt. Sirius grinned gleefully then said in a loud voice, as if he were finishing a conversation, “Eh, well, you know what they say, don’t you, Remus? Once bitten, twice shy…” He roared with laughter at his own joke and Remus threw him a look of utter disdain. Tonks had stopped in front of them both and was frowning at them both.
“I sometimes think you two should be married…” she said, shaking her head. Sirius chuckled and fluttered his eyelashes at Remus.
“Oh, Moony, you dish, shall we?”
Tonks rolled her eyes with the tolerance of someone who’d seen it all before and plopped herself down in the seat right next to Remus. Sirius chuckled again and added, “That seat is so comfortable, isn’t it, Tonks?” prompting another sigh from his friend.
“You’re pathetic, did you know that?” growled Remus.
“It’s been said before, but it doesn’t keep me awake at night,” Sirius said, and swung his chair onto its back legs, rocking precariously for a minute.
“No, I don’t suppose…”
Tonks leaned forward. “Are you playing cards, or is there something going on here I should know about?”
Sirius arched his eyebrows at Remus. “I don’t know… Why don’t you ask our friend the werewolf here?”
Tonks sighed. “Nevermind… Give me the cards, will you?” Sirius passed the cards towards her and she examined them a moment, “Couldn’t have picked a better set, could you? These are practically pornographic. Where did you get them, or shouldn’t I ask?”
“You shouldn’t ask,” Sirius replied. “There’s nothing wrong with them though… They’re all clothed… partially, at least…” he allowed, grinning.
“Yeah…” Tonks sounded unconvinced.
“And there’s nothing wrong with a man appreciating feminine beauty anyway… Ask Remus…”
Tonks looked at Sirius then at Remus then slammed the cards down on the table. “Right, that’s it. I’m not playing unless one of you tells me what in Gringott’s Vaults is going on here…”
Remus groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Now look what you’ve done,” he accused, turning to face Sirius, who just grinned toothily.
“Oh, alright…” he sighed melodramatically. “Stand up, Tonks, will you?”
“You what?”
“You heard.”
Slowly, and still wearing the frown from before, Tonks pushed the chair back with an awkward scrape and stood up. “Turn around will you? All the way, that’s it…” Sirius encouraged until she was returned to facing them again. “And now look at Remus…”
Tonks inclined her head questioningly, then looked at Remus, who was blushing furiously. “Remus?” she asked.
Remus made a face as if his toenails were being pulled. “Merlin, it’s hot in here!” he exclaimed and fluttered his hand nervously in front of him. “Does anybody mind if I open a window?”
“Remus?!” Tonks said again, and this time there was more understanding in her voice, mixed with a little surprise though. “I had no idea…”
“No idea, what?” babbled Remus, standing up in a hurry and pulling out his wand.
“No idea you found me so attractive…” She moved forward and placed her hands on his shoulders. He flinched instinctively.
“I, er, oh…”
“Good job you’re not so unattractive yourself then, hey?” she smiled. Remus blinked and couldn’t help his mouth falling ever so slightly open. She giggled at his response, then stood on her tip-toes and kissed him full on the lips.
Frozen to the spot, Remus heard a crow of laughter from behind him as a pair of small hands gripped his waist. “Kiss me back, then, you daft bugger…” came her voice against his lips.
He paused a moment, then obeyed, and as he did, there was a soft chuckle and then the sound of the door closing.
The End.