Fic: If Battle Lines Are Drawn
Author: shimotsuki
Title: If Battle Lines Are Drawn
Rating & Warnings: PG / mild profanity
Word Count: 3440 words
Prompt: stereolightning’s prompt #3 - Angel by Gavin Friday, especially this verse: Angel, hold on to me
Love is all around me
So sad that you love her
Like the stars above
So sad that you love her
Hold on, hold on
Summary: At the first full meeting of the Order of the Phoenix after the fight at the Ministry, Molly keeps noticing things that are...different.
Notes: I wasn’t sure I would finish this in time! Thank goodness for extensions. :) This story stands alone, but it’s also part of the Kaleidoscope series, set between Colours Under the Moon and Out of Sight (that is, right before HBP starts).
~ * ~
If Battle Lines Are Drawn
It was good to see the Order having meetings again, Molly thought, watching the familiar faces gather around her kitchen table in the slow summer dusk.
Good, but not quite-right. Things were off.
Holding the meeting at the Burrow was strange enough, to start with. Not unwelcome, not really-the Burrow was much more comfortable than the mouldering old house on Grimmauld Place, and it was easier for Molly to keep everyone fed from her own kitchen. Besides, now that all the security spells were in place for Harry’s sake, the Burrow was safer than just about anywhere outside Hogwarts. But it felt strange all the same.
Especially given the reason for the change in venue.
Sirius had set Molly’s teeth on edge, had been a bad influence on the children, had caused trouble by needling Severus at every opportunity. But he hadn’t deserved to die.
And surely it was that sudden tragic loss that was responsible for some of the other things that weren’t quite right-the tight set of Remus’s shoulders, say, or Tonks looking worn and dull under drab brown hair. Molly hadn’t realised how fond she had become of the crazy colours the bright young Auror favoured until she had turned up today without them.
But there was also Severus, who couldn’t possibly be mourning Sirius Black, but was looking even more sallow and snappish than usual. More disturbing still was Dumbledore’s blackened, shrivelled hand, which he carefully avoided explaining.
There was the strange chilly mist that hung in the air, entirely wrong for July. Bill said it likely meant that dementors were breeding all over the countryside.
And, of course, looming like a poisoned shadow over every friendly word or warm smile shared in Molly’s kitchen tonight was the knowledge that You-Know-Who himself had appeared in the Ministry, in the flesh, beyond all doubt.
They were at war.
~ * ~
“The next item of business,” said Dumbledore, “is Remus’s next mission, and the necessary arrangements.” The Headmaster smiled in his usual avuncular way, damaged hand notwithstanding. “Remus, would you be so kind as to brief the Order on the nature of your mission?”
For some reason, that made Tonks, who was sitting right across the table from Molly, scowl sharply in Dumbledore’s direction.
“Of course,” said Remus, in the same steady voice as always, even though Molly could see lines on his face that hadn’t been there before the fight at the Ministry. “My objective is to prevent, as far as possible, outcast werewolves from going over to the Death Eaters.” He paused to straighten the stack of notes in front of him, but then he looked up again with a small wry smile, as though he knew a secret joke at someone’s expense. “To this end, I must infiltrate Fenrir Greyback’s werewolf pack. I will most likely need to live among the pack for some months.”
Molly gasped, and hers wasn’t the only gasp around the crowded kitchen table. Fenrir Greyback stood for everything that everyone feared about werewolves. She knew now, of course, that werewolves weren’t all-that Remus wasn’t-like that.
But Greyback was.
“And just how do you expect to get them to let you stay there with your hide intact?” Severus’s sneer was, perhaps, harsher than necessary. “You can hardly conceal the fact that you’ve spent your whole life trying to fit in amongst normal people. Greyback’s monsters don’t much like that, or so I hear.”
“Ah,” said Remus lightly, “I have a plan for precisely that purpose. I’ll simply tell them that my last few friends have turned against me-driven me away-and I have nowhere left to go.” He shrugged. “It shouldn’t be a difficult story to make them believe.”
Tonks made a small, angry noise. Her eyes, locked on Remus’s face, were furious.
“Only, Severus,” Remus added, his tone gone rather abrupt, “I do take exception to your wording. We all know that Greyback is a monster. That doesn’t mean that all of the people in his pack are, as well. Some of them may truly believe they have no other choice.”
Severus held Remus’s gaze for a long silent moment. Then he inclined his head, briefly, and Remus nodded once in return.
“Lupin,” Alastor growled. “What are you going to do, living out there in Greyback’s wood? You can’t just march in and take over the pack, lad. They make a point of paying great heed to status, from all accounts, and yours will be the lowest of all if you’re new.”
“Yes, I know.” There was the wry smile again. “That’s why I’m planning to stay for some months. I need to understand the intricacies of the pack hierarchy, and see what I can do to find and support a faction that might be willing to stand up against Greyback.” The smile faded, and what it left behind was rather bleak. “At the very least, I hope to find some werewolves who can be made to distrust Death Eaters. Even that may be worth something.”
Molly shivered a little in sympathy. She never liked to think too hard about whether anything that any of them were doing would really make a difference, in the end.
“Are your preparations for the mission complete?” Dumbledore raised his eyebrows expectantly.
“Nearly,” said Remus, shaking off the bleakness-or whatever it had been-and settling back into his usual quiet competence. “I’ve been carrying out covert surveillance missions in order to learn about the structure of the pack, although it has been necessary to remain at a certain distance so that there is no risk of my being discovered.”
Tonks, across the table, closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.
“Still, I’m not quite ready to leave at once. And it’s essential that I arrive as soon as possible after full moon, so as to have four weeks to establish a place in the pack before my first transformation there.” Remus’s smile turned a bit grim. “So I’ll most likely continue my surveillance for a few more weeks-gather as much more information as I can-and then go out to join the pack right after the full moon on the thirtieth.”
“You’ll still be here for Harry’s birthday on the thirty-first, won’t you?” Molly blurted. “He’d want you at his party.”
Remus seemed taken aback. “Would he?”
“I think,” said Dumbledore gently, “that you can safely afford to delay your departure until after Harry’s birthday.”
“Of course.” Remus still looked slightly unsettled. “Harry will be coming of age this year. I should be glad of a chance to wish him well.”
“We ought, however, to take this opportunity to determine who your Order contact will be during your mission.” Dumbledore scanned the faces of the assembled company.
“I’ll want to meet my contact weekly, at least at first.” Remus looked down at his notes, squaring the edges of the stack of parchment again. “I won’t have any sort of watch or clock, so the meetings ought to be set for noon, or at least, when the sun is at its highest point, so that I know when to turn up. Besides, my observations indicate that I will have the most freedom to move about in the wood without attracting attention during the middle of the day.” He glanced quickly round the table. “And given the physical threat posed by Greyback and some of his more, shall we say, enthusiastic supporters, I think my contact should be someone with extensive defence training. An Auror, ideally.”
Tonks straightened up out of her slouch. Her face, so uncharacteristically pale today, was suddenly flooded with colour. Molly smiled a little. It was good that Remus still had such a loyal friend to depend on, now that Sirius was gone. She’d enjoyed seeing Remus growing ever closer to Tonks this last year-he deserved a good friend, and the girl was a bright spot for everyone, really.
Except that this time, Remus looked right past her.
He’d been doing that all evening, Molly suddenly realised. All through the meeting. Just one more thing that was wrong today.
“Alastor.” Remus waited for the grizzled old man to look at him with both eyes. “Would you be my contact on this mission?”
Tonks stared. Her hands, resting on the table, curled slowly into fists.
“Me? Why not the lass?” Alastor was as blunt as ever. “If you want an Auror.”
“I-” Now Remus did look at Tonks, meeting the hurt and the accusation in her glare straight on. “It’s got to be someone I can meet at midday, Tonks,” he said, quietly. “You’d be on shift most of the time. But, would you be my emergency backup? Alastor can keep you briefed on my status, and I’d get in touch with you if I needed to contact the Order and I couldn’t reach him.”
Tonks’s hard glare softened, and she nodded once, jerkily. “Of course,” she muttered.
“That’s settled, then,” Alastor rumbled, looking at Remus with his real eye-but keeping his magical one trained on Tonks.
~ * ~
“That’s the last of the Order business for tonight,” said Dumbledore, eventually. “Thank you, all.”
“Everyone’s welcome to stay for supper,” said Molly, over the din of chairs scraping and chatter starting up. “It’s already rather late, and I’ve a whole cauldronful of stew.”
Severus excused himself, as he always did. Some of the others said their goodbyes as well, stepping through the Floo or ducking out into the unseasonably chilly twilight to Apparate. But Molly was glad to see a fair few Order members settling in to stay for a bit.
The busier she kept, the less time she had to think about-things.
She had already Summoned a stack of bowls and started to serve up the stew when a light touch on her arm made her pause her wand-waving and look around.
“Good night, Molly,” said Remus, quietly, under cover of the warm talk and laughter that filled the kitchen. “I’ll be going now. I have a few things I need to take care of tonight.”
She frowned. “I do wish you’d stay, dear.” He looked so tired and thin, and there was a certain haunted loneliness about him that rather worried her. It wasn’t very long since the full moon-and it wasn’t long at all since he had lost his best friend. “At least have something hot to eat before you go.”
“You’re not leaving already?” George looked round from where he was busily slicing three fat loaves of bread.
“Only, we had a project we wanted to talk to you about,” said Fred, who was supposed to be setting the table. “An idea for something the Order might be able to use-an untraceable Portkey.”
“We’ve got a lot of the basic Charms for it worked out,” said George, “but we wanted to ask you about some of the spells on the Map. See if they might be useful for this.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” But Remus glanced around the room, looking oddly uncomfortable. “I’d like to talk with you about it, but tonight I really do need to go, I’m afraid.”
Tonks was watching them, Molly saw. But instead of catching her eye and smiling, as he always used to do, Remus turned away at once, busying himself with his stack of notes once again.
Was something wrong between them? Now, after losing Sirius, when they needed each other all the more?
“Come for supper tomorrow,” said Molly. “You promised me you would, sometimes, and we haven’t seen you in ages.”
Remus smiled, then, a little. His eyes were warm, and Molly was reassured. “Thank you. I would like that.” He nodded at Fred and George, still smiling. “Until tomorrow.”
He slipped out through the kitchen door into the back garden. The door clicked shut behind him.
“Has he gone home? Just like that, without any supper?”
Molly started, turning back to her cauldron of stew to find Tonks hovering there at her elbow. She looked awfully thin herself, poor thing, and her new drab colours didn’t suit her at all. She was staring at the door, staring after Remus, with her heart in her eyes.
And then the penny dropped.
Oh, dear.
The poor girl had gone and fallen in love.
“Are you working an early shift tomorrow?” Molly started dishing out stew again.
“Hmm?” Tonks blinked and turned to look at her. “No-afternoon, actually.”
“Then stay for a while, dear.” Molly patted her arm. “Let’s have a cup of tea after everyone else has gone home.”
~ * ~
Molly poured the tea. “Milk and sugar, isn’t it?”
“Ta.” Tonks managed a somewhat watery smile, and took a sip, clinking the cup against the saucer a little as she set it down. Molly tried not to wince-this was a hand-me-down set of dishes from Arthur’s Aunt Muriel, anyway. And she was good at Reparo.
Molly curled her hands around her own cup of hot, milky tea. “Are you all right, dear? Only, you don’t look as though you’re quite yourself.”
The smile she got in return was rather more brittle than she was used to seeing from the bubbly young Auror. “That’s just it, Molly. What you’re seeing is entirely myself. I’m-having some trouble with my Metamorphosing.”
“My goodness.” Molly hadn’t known that could happen. “Is it from when you were hurt in the fighting?” Or from losing Sirius, she thought, but didn’t say.
“Probably,” said Tonks. “It doesn’t help that there are so many dementors around Hogsmeade-it’s a bit draining to be fending them off from the village all the time.”
She sipped at her tea.
Molly waited.
“And,” said Tonks, quietly, “I’m awfully frightened for Remus.”
There it was.
“This new mission of his does sound rather difficult. I suppose he’ll be living rough, and those forest werewolves are sure to be dangerous.” Molly frowned. “And, all that aside, I’m not sure I like the idea of Remus going off alone so soon after-you know.”
“Yes, exactly,” said Tonks, frowning back. “But that’s not the only thing. Remus has got a-a history, with Greyback.” She shook her head. “This mission isn’t good for him, not at all.”
“A history?” Molly frowned. “Greyback’s never the one who-bit him? Is he?”
Tonks looked up, startled. “It’s not my secret to tell. But-he’s grieving, and he’s hurting, and having to live with that-that monster-” She closed her eyes for a minute, and swallowed. “It would be hard on him even if everything else were normal. But now-”
Molly covered one small cold hand with her own warm one. “You care about Remus quite a lot, dear. Don’t you.”
Those deep, dark eyes-such a lovely colour, and apparently it was natural, too-met Molly’s, squarely.
“I love him,” said Tonks, simply.
Molly squeezed her hand. “I can see why you do. He’s a lovely man, so warm and kind. But-” She slowed, choosing her words carefully. “He’s an awfully private person, isn’t he? I don’t know if he ever lets anyone see all the way into his heart.” She took a deep breath. “You’ve got to be prepared that he might not ever be able to love you back.”
“But he does,”said Tonks.
“He might never-What?” Molly blinked. “He does?”
“He told me so himself.” The watery smile was back.
“He told you?” Molly stared. Then why had Remus been trying to hard to avoid Tonks tonight?”
“And-” Tonks blushed, something that Molly had never seen before. “He kissed me. Just the one time, but-” Her eyes were very far away. “It was bloody fantastic.”
Tonks usually managed not to swear in front of her. But, Molly decided, this conversation qualified as extreme circumstances.
“That’s wonderful, dear!” Molly squeezed her hand again. “I’m so happy for you both.”
“Don’t be,” said Tonks, suddenly bleak again. “Remus insists that nothing can ever happen between us.”
“What?” Molly was beginning to feel like a first-year in the front row of the stands at a Quidditch match, dizzy from trying to follow the Snitch. “Whyever not?”
Tonks sighed. “He insists he’s too old for me, and too poor. And that being with a werewolf is too dangerous.”
“Remus? Dangerous?” Molly shook off a prickle of guilt for having thought that herself, once. “That’s absurd. And he’s not that much older than you. I suppose he is poor, but riches aren’t everything, and anyhow, you’re not poor!”
Tonks smiled, a little. “I’m glad you see it my way.” The smile faded. “If only Remus did.”
~ * ~
“We’re calling it a Confundus Portkey,” came George’s voice from the front room.
“The idea is,” said Fred, “if you’re watching when someone uses one to Portkey away, it Confounds you, so you can’t work out what just happened or who you’ve seen at all.”
“But we want it to have a password,” said George. “So that if you’re in the know, you can see one activate without getting Confounded.”
“Which is why we thought of the Map.”
Molly Levitated the roast beef out of the oven and checked on the Yorkshire pudding, which was steaming merrily. “Supper’s ready, you lot!” she called.
Ron and Ginny thumped down the stairs, and the others came in from the front room-Fred and George, Arthur, and Remus.
“That’s brilliant,” Remus was saying. “The Order could really use something like that, especially if things go badly in the Ministry and we have to be more careful about using Apparition or registered Portkeys or the Floo.”
Surely not, Molly thought, momentarily frozen. Surely it wouldn’t ever get that bad.
But there was more life in Remus’s eyes than Molly had seen in weeks. “And I do think I see some applications for our old password spells from the Map. I’ll write out some notes for you, before I go away.”
Supper was a great success. Remus actually smiled more than five different times, and ate two helpings of roast beef with all the trimmings. Molly rather wondered just what he was feeding himself, now that he was living alone again instead of in the middle of the circus that had been the Black house on Grimmauld Place. She would simply have to try to get him to come for supper as many times as she could before he went off to join the pack.
And if she could get Tonks here as well, so much the better.
The twins clattered back off to their own flat after supper, and the younger children wandered back upstairs, and Arthur settled down in the front room with the Evening Prophet again. But Molly convinced Remus to have a cup of tea with her in the kitchen before he went home.
And so they were sitting there, just the two of them, when Tonks stopped by.
There was a flurry of knocks at the door. “Molly?” came the familiar bright voice. “Have you got a minute?”
“Security question, dear,” Molly called. “What did you always trip over in the hallway of a certain house?”
“That bl-erm, stupid troll’s foot umbrella stand!” was the response.
Molly opened the door. “Come in and have a cup of tea with us.”
“Who’s-Oh! Wotcher, Remus.” Tonks sounded nearly as cheery as always, but another unfamiliar blush spread across her face. She ducked her head, fumbling to extricate herself from her cloak, which was damp from what must have been a rain shower in Hogsmeade.
Molly turned back toward Remus just in time to catch the look that flashed across his face-raw, hopeless, aching longing.
It was gone so quickly, she almost wasn’t sure that she had seen it at all. By the time Tonks had got her cloak off and turned around again, Remus had reverted to the bland, calm politeness he always mustered up to face the world at large.
But something of his secret thoughts lingered in his eyes. Molly understood, now, where that new haunted look of his had come from.
“Hello, Tonks,” said Remus, carefully. “I’m afraid I was just going. Thank you for a lovely evening, Molly.” He managed a swift smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes at all, and before either woman could say a word, he had vanished into the night once again.
Tonks’s face crumpled.
Molly put an arm around the poor girl’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Don’t give up,” she whispered. “If you think he’s worth fighting for, then fight.”
“Oh,” said Tonks, fiercely, “no worries there.” The stubborn set of her jaw suddenly made Molly think of Sirius. “It wasn’t for nothing I was Sorted into Hufflepuff.”
“Good for you, dear.” Molly smiled, in spite of herself.
This was a battle she wouldn’t mind taking part in.
~ * ~
.
Title: If Battle Lines Are Drawn
Rating & Warnings: PG / mild profanity
Word Count: 3440 words
Prompt: stereolightning’s prompt #3 - Angel by Gavin Friday, especially this verse: Angel, hold on to me
Love is all around me
So sad that you love her
Like the stars above
So sad that you love her
Hold on, hold on
Summary: At the first full meeting of the Order of the Phoenix after the fight at the Ministry, Molly keeps noticing things that are...different.
Notes: I wasn’t sure I would finish this in time! Thank goodness for extensions. :) This story stands alone, but it’s also part of the Kaleidoscope series, set between Colours Under the Moon and Out of Sight (that is, right before HBP starts).
~ * ~
If Battle Lines Are Drawn
It was good to see the Order having meetings again, Molly thought, watching the familiar faces gather around her kitchen table in the slow summer dusk.
Good, but not quite-right. Things were off.
Holding the meeting at the Burrow was strange enough, to start with. Not unwelcome, not really-the Burrow was much more comfortable than the mouldering old house on Grimmauld Place, and it was easier for Molly to keep everyone fed from her own kitchen. Besides, now that all the security spells were in place for Harry’s sake, the Burrow was safer than just about anywhere outside Hogwarts. But it felt strange all the same.
Especially given the reason for the change in venue.
Sirius had set Molly’s teeth on edge, had been a bad influence on the children, had caused trouble by needling Severus at every opportunity. But he hadn’t deserved to die.
And surely it was that sudden tragic loss that was responsible for some of the other things that weren’t quite right-the tight set of Remus’s shoulders, say, or Tonks looking worn and dull under drab brown hair. Molly hadn’t realised how fond she had become of the crazy colours the bright young Auror favoured until she had turned up today without them.
But there was also Severus, who couldn’t possibly be mourning Sirius Black, but was looking even more sallow and snappish than usual. More disturbing still was Dumbledore’s blackened, shrivelled hand, which he carefully avoided explaining.
There was the strange chilly mist that hung in the air, entirely wrong for July. Bill said it likely meant that dementors were breeding all over the countryside.
And, of course, looming like a poisoned shadow over every friendly word or warm smile shared in Molly’s kitchen tonight was the knowledge that You-Know-Who himself had appeared in the Ministry, in the flesh, beyond all doubt.
They were at war.
~ * ~
“The next item of business,” said Dumbledore, “is Remus’s next mission, and the necessary arrangements.” The Headmaster smiled in his usual avuncular way, damaged hand notwithstanding. “Remus, would you be so kind as to brief the Order on the nature of your mission?”
For some reason, that made Tonks, who was sitting right across the table from Molly, scowl sharply in Dumbledore’s direction.
“Of course,” said Remus, in the same steady voice as always, even though Molly could see lines on his face that hadn’t been there before the fight at the Ministry. “My objective is to prevent, as far as possible, outcast werewolves from going over to the Death Eaters.” He paused to straighten the stack of notes in front of him, but then he looked up again with a small wry smile, as though he knew a secret joke at someone’s expense. “To this end, I must infiltrate Fenrir Greyback’s werewolf pack. I will most likely need to live among the pack for some months.”
Molly gasped, and hers wasn’t the only gasp around the crowded kitchen table. Fenrir Greyback stood for everything that everyone feared about werewolves. She knew now, of course, that werewolves weren’t all-that Remus wasn’t-like that.
But Greyback was.
“And just how do you expect to get them to let you stay there with your hide intact?” Severus’s sneer was, perhaps, harsher than necessary. “You can hardly conceal the fact that you’ve spent your whole life trying to fit in amongst normal people. Greyback’s monsters don’t much like that, or so I hear.”
“Ah,” said Remus lightly, “I have a plan for precisely that purpose. I’ll simply tell them that my last few friends have turned against me-driven me away-and I have nowhere left to go.” He shrugged. “It shouldn’t be a difficult story to make them believe.”
Tonks made a small, angry noise. Her eyes, locked on Remus’s face, were furious.
“Only, Severus,” Remus added, his tone gone rather abrupt, “I do take exception to your wording. We all know that Greyback is a monster. That doesn’t mean that all of the people in his pack are, as well. Some of them may truly believe they have no other choice.”
Severus held Remus’s gaze for a long silent moment. Then he inclined his head, briefly, and Remus nodded once in return.
“Lupin,” Alastor growled. “What are you going to do, living out there in Greyback’s wood? You can’t just march in and take over the pack, lad. They make a point of paying great heed to status, from all accounts, and yours will be the lowest of all if you’re new.”
“Yes, I know.” There was the wry smile again. “That’s why I’m planning to stay for some months. I need to understand the intricacies of the pack hierarchy, and see what I can do to find and support a faction that might be willing to stand up against Greyback.” The smile faded, and what it left behind was rather bleak. “At the very least, I hope to find some werewolves who can be made to distrust Death Eaters. Even that may be worth something.”
Molly shivered a little in sympathy. She never liked to think too hard about whether anything that any of them were doing would really make a difference, in the end.
“Are your preparations for the mission complete?” Dumbledore raised his eyebrows expectantly.
“Nearly,” said Remus, shaking off the bleakness-or whatever it had been-and settling back into his usual quiet competence. “I’ve been carrying out covert surveillance missions in order to learn about the structure of the pack, although it has been necessary to remain at a certain distance so that there is no risk of my being discovered.”
Tonks, across the table, closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.
“Still, I’m not quite ready to leave at once. And it’s essential that I arrive as soon as possible after full moon, so as to have four weeks to establish a place in the pack before my first transformation there.” Remus’s smile turned a bit grim. “So I’ll most likely continue my surveillance for a few more weeks-gather as much more information as I can-and then go out to join the pack right after the full moon on the thirtieth.”
“You’ll still be here for Harry’s birthday on the thirty-first, won’t you?” Molly blurted. “He’d want you at his party.”
Remus seemed taken aback. “Would he?”
“I think,” said Dumbledore gently, “that you can safely afford to delay your departure until after Harry’s birthday.”
“Of course.” Remus still looked slightly unsettled. “Harry will be coming of age this year. I should be glad of a chance to wish him well.”
“We ought, however, to take this opportunity to determine who your Order contact will be during your mission.” Dumbledore scanned the faces of the assembled company.
“I’ll want to meet my contact weekly, at least at first.” Remus looked down at his notes, squaring the edges of the stack of parchment again. “I won’t have any sort of watch or clock, so the meetings ought to be set for noon, or at least, when the sun is at its highest point, so that I know when to turn up. Besides, my observations indicate that I will have the most freedom to move about in the wood without attracting attention during the middle of the day.” He glanced quickly round the table. “And given the physical threat posed by Greyback and some of his more, shall we say, enthusiastic supporters, I think my contact should be someone with extensive defence training. An Auror, ideally.”
Tonks straightened up out of her slouch. Her face, so uncharacteristically pale today, was suddenly flooded with colour. Molly smiled a little. It was good that Remus still had such a loyal friend to depend on, now that Sirius was gone. She’d enjoyed seeing Remus growing ever closer to Tonks this last year-he deserved a good friend, and the girl was a bright spot for everyone, really.
Except that this time, Remus looked right past her.
He’d been doing that all evening, Molly suddenly realised. All through the meeting. Just one more thing that was wrong today.
“Alastor.” Remus waited for the grizzled old man to look at him with both eyes. “Would you be my contact on this mission?”
Tonks stared. Her hands, resting on the table, curled slowly into fists.
“Me? Why not the lass?” Alastor was as blunt as ever. “If you want an Auror.”
“I-” Now Remus did look at Tonks, meeting the hurt and the accusation in her glare straight on. “It’s got to be someone I can meet at midday, Tonks,” he said, quietly. “You’d be on shift most of the time. But, would you be my emergency backup? Alastor can keep you briefed on my status, and I’d get in touch with you if I needed to contact the Order and I couldn’t reach him.”
Tonks’s hard glare softened, and she nodded once, jerkily. “Of course,” she muttered.
“That’s settled, then,” Alastor rumbled, looking at Remus with his real eye-but keeping his magical one trained on Tonks.
~ * ~
“That’s the last of the Order business for tonight,” said Dumbledore, eventually. “Thank you, all.”
“Everyone’s welcome to stay for supper,” said Molly, over the din of chairs scraping and chatter starting up. “It’s already rather late, and I’ve a whole cauldronful of stew.”
Severus excused himself, as he always did. Some of the others said their goodbyes as well, stepping through the Floo or ducking out into the unseasonably chilly twilight to Apparate. But Molly was glad to see a fair few Order members settling in to stay for a bit.
The busier she kept, the less time she had to think about-things.
She had already Summoned a stack of bowls and started to serve up the stew when a light touch on her arm made her pause her wand-waving and look around.
“Good night, Molly,” said Remus, quietly, under cover of the warm talk and laughter that filled the kitchen. “I’ll be going now. I have a few things I need to take care of tonight.”
She frowned. “I do wish you’d stay, dear.” He looked so tired and thin, and there was a certain haunted loneliness about him that rather worried her. It wasn’t very long since the full moon-and it wasn’t long at all since he had lost his best friend. “At least have something hot to eat before you go.”
“You’re not leaving already?” George looked round from where he was busily slicing three fat loaves of bread.
“Only, we had a project we wanted to talk to you about,” said Fred, who was supposed to be setting the table. “An idea for something the Order might be able to use-an untraceable Portkey.”
“We’ve got a lot of the basic Charms for it worked out,” said George, “but we wanted to ask you about some of the spells on the Map. See if they might be useful for this.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” But Remus glanced around the room, looking oddly uncomfortable. “I’d like to talk with you about it, but tonight I really do need to go, I’m afraid.”
Tonks was watching them, Molly saw. But instead of catching her eye and smiling, as he always used to do, Remus turned away at once, busying himself with his stack of notes once again.
Was something wrong between them? Now, after losing Sirius, when they needed each other all the more?
“Come for supper tomorrow,” said Molly. “You promised me you would, sometimes, and we haven’t seen you in ages.”
Remus smiled, then, a little. His eyes were warm, and Molly was reassured. “Thank you. I would like that.” He nodded at Fred and George, still smiling. “Until tomorrow.”
He slipped out through the kitchen door into the back garden. The door clicked shut behind him.
“Has he gone home? Just like that, without any supper?”
Molly started, turning back to her cauldron of stew to find Tonks hovering there at her elbow. She looked awfully thin herself, poor thing, and her new drab colours didn’t suit her at all. She was staring at the door, staring after Remus, with her heart in her eyes.
And then the penny dropped.
Oh, dear.
The poor girl had gone and fallen in love.
“Are you working an early shift tomorrow?” Molly started dishing out stew again.
“Hmm?” Tonks blinked and turned to look at her. “No-afternoon, actually.”
“Then stay for a while, dear.” Molly patted her arm. “Let’s have a cup of tea after everyone else has gone home.”
~ * ~
Molly poured the tea. “Milk and sugar, isn’t it?”
“Ta.” Tonks managed a somewhat watery smile, and took a sip, clinking the cup against the saucer a little as she set it down. Molly tried not to wince-this was a hand-me-down set of dishes from Arthur’s Aunt Muriel, anyway. And she was good at Reparo.
Molly curled her hands around her own cup of hot, milky tea. “Are you all right, dear? Only, you don’t look as though you’re quite yourself.”
The smile she got in return was rather more brittle than she was used to seeing from the bubbly young Auror. “That’s just it, Molly. What you’re seeing is entirely myself. I’m-having some trouble with my Metamorphosing.”
“My goodness.” Molly hadn’t known that could happen. “Is it from when you were hurt in the fighting?” Or from losing Sirius, she thought, but didn’t say.
“Probably,” said Tonks. “It doesn’t help that there are so many dementors around Hogsmeade-it’s a bit draining to be fending them off from the village all the time.”
She sipped at her tea.
Molly waited.
“And,” said Tonks, quietly, “I’m awfully frightened for Remus.”
There it was.
“This new mission of his does sound rather difficult. I suppose he’ll be living rough, and those forest werewolves are sure to be dangerous.” Molly frowned. “And, all that aside, I’m not sure I like the idea of Remus going off alone so soon after-you know.”
“Yes, exactly,” said Tonks, frowning back. “But that’s not the only thing. Remus has got a-a history, with Greyback.” She shook her head. “This mission isn’t good for him, not at all.”
“A history?” Molly frowned. “Greyback’s never the one who-bit him? Is he?”
Tonks looked up, startled. “It’s not my secret to tell. But-he’s grieving, and he’s hurting, and having to live with that-that monster-” She closed her eyes for a minute, and swallowed. “It would be hard on him even if everything else were normal. But now-”
Molly covered one small cold hand with her own warm one. “You care about Remus quite a lot, dear. Don’t you.”
Those deep, dark eyes-such a lovely colour, and apparently it was natural, too-met Molly’s, squarely.
“I love him,” said Tonks, simply.
Molly squeezed her hand. “I can see why you do. He’s a lovely man, so warm and kind. But-” She slowed, choosing her words carefully. “He’s an awfully private person, isn’t he? I don’t know if he ever lets anyone see all the way into his heart.” She took a deep breath. “You’ve got to be prepared that he might not ever be able to love you back.”
“But he does,”said Tonks.
“He might never-What?” Molly blinked. “He does?”
“He told me so himself.” The watery smile was back.
“He told you?” Molly stared. Then why had Remus been trying to hard to avoid Tonks tonight?”
“And-” Tonks blushed, something that Molly had never seen before. “He kissed me. Just the one time, but-” Her eyes were very far away. “It was bloody fantastic.”
Tonks usually managed not to swear in front of her. But, Molly decided, this conversation qualified as extreme circumstances.
“That’s wonderful, dear!” Molly squeezed her hand again. “I’m so happy for you both.”
“Don’t be,” said Tonks, suddenly bleak again. “Remus insists that nothing can ever happen between us.”
“What?” Molly was beginning to feel like a first-year in the front row of the stands at a Quidditch match, dizzy from trying to follow the Snitch. “Whyever not?”
Tonks sighed. “He insists he’s too old for me, and too poor. And that being with a werewolf is too dangerous.”
“Remus? Dangerous?” Molly shook off a prickle of guilt for having thought that herself, once. “That’s absurd. And he’s not that much older than you. I suppose he is poor, but riches aren’t everything, and anyhow, you’re not poor!”
Tonks smiled, a little. “I’m glad you see it my way.” The smile faded. “If only Remus did.”
~ * ~
“We’re calling it a Confundus Portkey,” came George’s voice from the front room.
“The idea is,” said Fred, “if you’re watching when someone uses one to Portkey away, it Confounds you, so you can’t work out what just happened or who you’ve seen at all.”
“But we want it to have a password,” said George. “So that if you’re in the know, you can see one activate without getting Confounded.”
“Which is why we thought of the Map.”
Molly Levitated the roast beef out of the oven and checked on the Yorkshire pudding, which was steaming merrily. “Supper’s ready, you lot!” she called.
Ron and Ginny thumped down the stairs, and the others came in from the front room-Fred and George, Arthur, and Remus.
“That’s brilliant,” Remus was saying. “The Order could really use something like that, especially if things go badly in the Ministry and we have to be more careful about using Apparition or registered Portkeys or the Floo.”
Surely not, Molly thought, momentarily frozen. Surely it wouldn’t ever get that bad.
But there was more life in Remus’s eyes than Molly had seen in weeks. “And I do think I see some applications for our old password spells from the Map. I’ll write out some notes for you, before I go away.”
Supper was a great success. Remus actually smiled more than five different times, and ate two helpings of roast beef with all the trimmings. Molly rather wondered just what he was feeding himself, now that he was living alone again instead of in the middle of the circus that had been the Black house on Grimmauld Place. She would simply have to try to get him to come for supper as many times as she could before he went off to join the pack.
And if she could get Tonks here as well, so much the better.
The twins clattered back off to their own flat after supper, and the younger children wandered back upstairs, and Arthur settled down in the front room with the Evening Prophet again. But Molly convinced Remus to have a cup of tea with her in the kitchen before he went home.
And so they were sitting there, just the two of them, when Tonks stopped by.
There was a flurry of knocks at the door. “Molly?” came the familiar bright voice. “Have you got a minute?”
“Security question, dear,” Molly called. “What did you always trip over in the hallway of a certain house?”
“That bl-erm, stupid troll’s foot umbrella stand!” was the response.
Molly opened the door. “Come in and have a cup of tea with us.”
“Who’s-Oh! Wotcher, Remus.” Tonks sounded nearly as cheery as always, but another unfamiliar blush spread across her face. She ducked her head, fumbling to extricate herself from her cloak, which was damp from what must have been a rain shower in Hogsmeade.
Molly turned back toward Remus just in time to catch the look that flashed across his face-raw, hopeless, aching longing.
It was gone so quickly, she almost wasn’t sure that she had seen it at all. By the time Tonks had got her cloak off and turned around again, Remus had reverted to the bland, calm politeness he always mustered up to face the world at large.
But something of his secret thoughts lingered in his eyes. Molly understood, now, where that new haunted look of his had come from.
“Hello, Tonks,” said Remus, carefully. “I’m afraid I was just going. Thank you for a lovely evening, Molly.” He managed a swift smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes at all, and before either woman could say a word, he had vanished into the night once again.
Tonks’s face crumpled.
Molly put an arm around the poor girl’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Don’t give up,” she whispered. “If you think he’s worth fighting for, then fight.”
“Oh,” said Tonks, fiercely, “no worries there.” The stubborn set of her jaw suddenly made Molly think of Sirius. “It wasn’t for nothing I was Sorted into Hufflepuff.”
“Good for you, dear.” Molly smiled, in spite of herself.
This was a battle she wouldn’t mind taking part in.
~ * ~
.