His Wandering Minds [Part 1/2]

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Title: His Wandering Minds
Rating: G
Genre: AU/Romance
Length: One-Shot
Pairing(s): Haehyuk
Summary: Life is easy when two halves of a whole are literally inseparable, but when one is split into thirds and they all have conflicting emotions, things start to get a little complicated.


Behind his facade is a wall of pretense; this wall blocks him off from the rest of the world, from everyone else in the world. In his mind, he is not alone. In his mind, aside from the long seam of darkness and a single running thread, there's another life living within him; another form of life living with him.

“It's hard not to acknowledge him,” he openly admits, simply as a patient to his doctor, “he's always there, always sitting in the shadows.”

The doctor nodded. The way the doctor jotted down notes in his notebook annoyed him, tested him, screamed out to him, but there was nothing he could do. “What else does he do? Aside from sitting there, that is.”

He peered around the room, absorbing every furniture, every corner, every object in the familiar chamber. “He doesn't do anything, honestly,” he shrugged, averting his gaze to the ceiling as he tilted his head back, “he's submissive to me, to my wants.”

For the fifth time in their forty-five minute therapeutic session, the doctor wondered if the boy had experienced a persona shift.

“You shouldn't look at us with an expression like that,” the boy smirked, slowly allowing his eyes to close as the darkness engulfed him, “Hyukjae doesn't like it, it makes him feel uneasy.” In his mind, he reached out and grasped onto the thread, giving it a hard tug.

The doctor watched as the boy flinched slightly, his hands tightening around the arms of his chair. His eyes flitted open tentatively, revealing a new set of brightly shining eyes; it was as if he was washed over with a fresh tide of water, like he had been levitated.

It was dead silent for a few moments before the boy sat up, stretching his arms over his head. “Eunhyuk is tired, doctor,” he apologized with a gummy smile, “can I take him home?”

Standing to his feet and gathering his notes, the doctor nodded and showed the boy to the door. “Remember,” the doctor reminded as a nurse came to their assistance, “He has another session with me next week. Don't forget.”

Hyukjae simply strode out of the room, as quick as he could, after affirming the doctors request. The nurse blinked, unsure of what had just happened before her. Wasn't he the patient? Before the nurse could question him, the doctor shook his head, sighing, as he retreated back into his room and closed the door behind him.

“That child...” the doctor grumbled, “coming and going as he pleases.”

-

“Henry, look! It's him again!”

Before the boy named Henry could reject his best friends absurd demand, he was pulled over to the large window of the shop. “Donghae, I'm busy!” Henry groaned, struggling to free himself, “Heck, you're busy! Pay a little attention to the customers, will you?”

Donghae frowned. “Don't you think it's weird?” he mumbled, releasing his death grip on his friends shoulder, “he shows up every week, looking all scared and traumatized.”

“Maybe he is,” Henry shrugged, “there are a lot of clinics around here, maybe he's a patient of some sort.” A man at one of the tables hollered for service and Henry immediately left to tend to the customers needs, leaving Donghae alone at the side of the window.

Donghae pouted, searching out the window for that figure on the streets again. He waited for the boy to do that one familiar action, the one thing he always did just as he reached a corner of the street, and sure enough the boy kept his routine.

Hyukjae stopped in his steps, holding a hand on a rail beside him, as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. In his mind, he searched hard for that long string of thread that Eunhyuk always relied on to ask him for help. This time, however, the thread wasn't in reach.

He opened his eyes, squinting as the brightness of the vast sky stung his sight, and forced them shut again. Eunhyuk, he called out, are you there? We escaped; we're not in the office anymore, you can come back now.

There was no reply.

Hyukjae sighed. Every so often, Eunhyuk would refuse to come back to reality.

There was nothing Hyukjae could do but stand to his full height and glance around himself blankly. He didn't want to go home; he didn't like home, he didn't like his family, and so he left dealing with all of that to Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk was dependable that way, just like Hyukjae was always dependable when it came to facing the doctors, nurses, school, and people Eunhyuk didn't want to see.

Just as he looked across the street, he found a busboy staring at him from behind the window. They exchanged glances, neither of them tearing their eyes away, and the busboy smiled at him; a rather blinding smile.

Hyukjae took it upon himself to return the smile, softly, and started in the direction of the restaurant. He was hungry, anyways.

“Henry, look!” Donghae demanded again, growing more flustered with every step the boy took towards their shop, “he's actually going to come in!”

“Good,” Henry rolled his eyes, “means more work for us.”

Donghae pursed his lips, frowning at his friend. “You're no fun,” he finally shook his head. The bells to the door chimed as it was pulled open and the boy stepped in, shivering slightly at the change in temperature.

It was cold outside, but it was warm in this shop.

Hyukjae smiled to himself; kind of like Eunhyuk and I, he thought, polar opposites living in the same world, in the same body, in the same mind.

“Just one?”

A menu was held out to him; the busboy from before was offering it to him and showing him towards a table to the side. Hyukjae hesitated a moment and nodded, accepting the menu and following the boy to his seat. He never knew how to answer questions like that because, in his mind, he wasn't just one.

Donghae noticed how skinny the boy was, despite him being cloaked by a thick beige jacket. His cheeks were slim, his figure was petite, but he was masculine in his own way. “My name is Donghae, I'll be assisting you this afternoon. Can I get you something to drink?” Donghae asked, snapping out of his daze.

“Milk,” the boy replied, “you wouldn't happen to have strawberry milk, would you? Eunhyuk likes strawberry milk.”

“We do,” Donghae nodded. “Is Eunhyuk your friend? Would you like something different for yourself?”

Hyukjae shook his head. “No, I'm fine, thank you.”

There was a weird vibe that Donghae caught from the man. Throughout the next hour, he noticed the boy would sit and space out - not unlike any other customer would - but in the midst of his state of emptiness, there was something in his eyes.

Words? Donghae wondered. No. It's more like... conflicting emotions? No, that's not it either. It's another set of eyes; eyes within his own eyes. Donghae knocked himself on the forehead, finding his own assumptions to be entirely ridiculous. That doesn't even make sense, he scowled at himself, but...

“Stop slacking,” Henry laughed, slapping Donghae upside the back of his head. “Your special customer looks like he's about ready to leave.”

After hissing at his friend, Donghae returned his attention to the boy sitting in the booth on the far end of the shop. Hyukjae wasn't dazing off anymore, his full attention was on Donghae.

It made Donghae feel nervous; these eyes, they weren't nearly as friendly as they were before. He made his way to the table, perspiration gathering beneath his shirt and his fingers trembling slightly. “Are you ready for the bill, sir?”

“Eunhyuk,” the boy smirked up at him, “just call me Eunhyuk.”

Donghae froze, recollecting the statement the same boy had made upon his entrance to the shop. “So, you're Eunhyuk? Then why did you-”

“I'm ready for the bill,” Eunhyuk cut him off, “I'm in a rush, so, please hurry.”

Donghae parted his lips to retort, but simply nodded and and hurried off to get the check for his customer. Eunhyuk, he repeated in his mind, interesting guy.

Unbeknownst to him, Eunhyuk and Hyukjae were thinking the same thing.

-

Sungmin leaned over towards Zhoumi, his brows furrowed suspiciously. “Mimi, he's doing it again. Look, he's got that look on his face. Can't you make him stop? It's scary.”

“Min, how do you find something as superficial as an expression scary when he can just change persona's on us at any minute?” Zhoumi mocked, ignoring his best friends pleads and complaints. “Plus, I think it's a good thing. This means that Hyuk has something on his mind, aside from himself and... well, his other self.”

Sitting in his seat properly, Sungmin contemplated the matter in his mind briefly before nodding in agreement. “You're right,” he declared, “I think he might just be open for help. Finally.”

Eunhyuk took a deep breath and glowered at his friends. “We can hear you, you know. We're not deaf. We're RIGHT HERE.”

Zhoumi and Sungmin laughed, watching as Eunhyuk's face started glowing a bloody color. “Proves he's still got some blood running in those veins,” Sungmin shrugged, “guess there's nothing we need to worry about anymore.”

“Yeah,” Zhoumi chuckled, “so, tell us, Hyukkie. Did you find someone, or, did you find someone?”

Sungmin rose a brow at Zhoumi. “That's redundant.”

“Then you come up with something better,” Zhoumi retorted.

“I never said being redundant was bad,” Sungmin shrugged.

There was a long pause and the two knew that Eunhyuk was speaking to himself in his mind, to the other person in his mind. They watched their friend, with his head thrown back and his neck revealed, vulnerable, and silently worried.

Sure, they often joked about his condition and had to put up with his dissociative personality disorder, but they were only human. They could only take so much, accept so much of their friend, before they would begin doubting him, too.

“Hyukjae likes his smile,” Eunhyuk finally replied.

The two snapped out of their thoughts, their eyes meeting each others before turning to Eunhyuk. “And you? What do you like about him?” Sungmin asked.

“His obliviousness,” Eunhyuk grinned, “actually, maybe it's how he can't hide anything; it all shows up on his face, like an idiot.”

Zhoumi smiled. “How did you meet him?”

“At a restaurant; he works there, a busboy named Donghae,” Eunhyuk shrugged, “Hyukjae sat in the shop for an hour or so while I was sleeping.”

“That's it?” Zhoumi gasped, “an hour of customer and waiter service and you've fallen in love with someone you don't even know?”

Eunhyuk shook his head. “I never said it was love,” he tilted his head back, closing his eyes, “it's more like... more like...”

Silence followed, the statement never being finished. Sungmin and Zhoumi sighed to themselves, having grown used to the way Eunhyuk escapes questions and situations he doesn't like by resulting to an exchange in position with Hyukjae.

“Admiration,” was what followed after the brief silence. Sungmin and Zhoumi looked up at the boy that was now grinning happily at them, his eyes serene and warm, “I admired him.”

“Hyuk,” Sungmin laughed, “admiration for a busboy? For his smile?”

Hyukjae nodded, brushing some stray strands of hair from his eyes. “Everything about him was constant, unchanging. His smile was genuine, it was sincere, and it made me feel good. Eunhyuk agrees with me, even if he won't admit it.”

And the two didn't know what else they could possibly question, when their best friend had thrown everything out on the table like that. Who were they to deny their friend a sense of security, in all of his despair and burdens?

TBC

Part 2