Fic: Someone to Grow Old With (Mike/William, FRM, 5000 words)
Summary: He wanted kids, plural, but Bill and Evie will be enough, will be something he's wanted for longer than he can think about.
Disclaimer: Fiction.
Warning: Christine and Genevieve are main characters in this story.
Notes: Thank you to inlovewithnight for encouragement and reassurance, and lakeeffectgirl for additional reassurance.
What happens is that 30 Seconds to Mars decides to stay in L.A. and write for a couple of months just as TAI gets off tour, and Mike and Emma discover that as much as they still love each other, they've both changed enough that they don't actually like living together anymore. When they finally talk about it, Mike says, "But I thought we would have kids and grow old together," and Emma's eyes get even wider than usual and she says, "I'm not having kids."
They both cry and cling to each other their last night together, and then Mike moves back to Chicago and rents a just passable one-bedroom apartment.
He gets together with Bill and Adam to do some writing and more fucking around, mostly at the practice space, and he spends some time hanging out with other friends, and a lot of time working his way through the shelves of the closest library branch.
*
Mike ends up going to a bunch of shows, people finding out he's in town and inviting him out. He doesn't always ask who they're going to see, which is how he ends up at the back of a room full of teenagers watching Empires kill it on stage.
At the end of the show, Mike skulks around the edges of the bar. He signs a few autographs for kids who notice him and isn't particularly surprised when Tom finds him.
"Good show."
"Thanks."
They make some small talk that's pretty much as awkward as Mike always thought it would be.
"How's Bill doing?" Tom asks. "The divorce must be final by now."
Mike stares at him like an idiot, and it's almost funny how horrified Tom looks after a moment.
"Oh, shit. He didn't tell you."
*
Mike waits until the next morning to call Bill.
"Why didn't you tell me you were getting divorced? I had to hear it from Tom."
"You and Tom are talking now?"
"No, we're not talking, and that's not the fucking point."
Bill sighs. "I didn't want you to have to think about two relationships ending."
"So you did instead? You're an asshole." Mike hangs up.
*
He calls Bill back three hours later when he's not quite so mad. "You're still an asshole, but if you tell me where you live, I'll come get drunk with you."
Bill does, and Mike stops at a liquor store on the way over. They get very, very drunk, and since Bill doesn't have a guest room, just one bedroom for him and one for Evie, Mike crashes in Bill's bed.
In the morning, they lie in bed, too hungover to get up, and Mike asks, "What happened?"
"She didn't want this anymore," Bill says. "It's not that she doesn't want more kids. She just doesn't want them with someone who's on tour half the year."
"Sorry," Mike offers. They lie in silence for a while longer. "You ready to make an album about it?"
Bill half laughs. "Not today." He finally moves, one arm emerging from under the blankets to grab for his phone. "I have to pick Evie up at four. You can come if you want."
Four is late enough that they're mostly recovered by then, and Bill waits in the car and sends Mike up to the door alone.
Christine answers his knock, and he can tell she wasn't expecting him.
"Hi," Mike says. "Bill's in the car." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder, where Bill is parked well within eyesight.
"Yeah, okay." Christine turns away from the door a little to call for Evie, and the light catches on her face in a way it didn't when she was facing him. She's aged since the last time he saw her.
"Daddy," Evie yells as she comes barreling down the hallway. She stops before she gets to the door. "Uncle Mike!"
Mike grins and hugs her. "Your dad's out in the car."
Christine says, "I love you," and hugs Evie before she can go dashing out the door.
"Love you too." Evie hugs back before she actually does dash past Mike.
Christine's smile after her is a little sad.
Mike hugs her. "Sorry about the divorce."
Christine hugs back. "Sorry about Emma."
They take Evie for an early dinner of burgers. Well, Bill has a burger. Mike orders grilled cheese.
"You can eat meat now," Bill says.
Mike shrugs. "We all come out of relationships with things. You got Evie. I got vegetarianism."
"I want grilled cheese too," Evie says.
Bill rolls his eyes, but gets her grilled cheese and a lot of fries for the three of them to share.
*
Now that they're deep in the throes of writing an album, Mike spends a lot of time at Bill's. He crashes there a couple of nights a week. Evie doesn't seem to mind even though Mike's often the one to tell her she can't go play until she finishes her homework.
Michael and Butcher come into town so they can flesh out some of Mike and Bill's ideas for songs. Out of a hell of a lot of breakup songs, they pick out an album's worth of the best of them. There's one that Mike vetoes.
"It'll sound great with a lot of guitar behind it," Michael says.
Mike shakes his head, because it would, but it's the bitterest of the set. "I don't want Evie hearing it."
*
After a while, Mike makes Bill move. "You at least need a studio."
"Why can't you have one?"
"Evie's going to live with you."
Bill heaves a very put-upon sigh, but he takes Mike with him to narrow down the choices before he takes Evie with him to make the final decision.
Bill talks about putting a futon in the studio, but in the end he just dumps a couch in there and Mike keeps crashing in with him when he stays over.
*
Evie knows they won't budge when it comes to bedtime on school nights, but sometimes on weekends she'll beg to stay up late and watch a movie. They eat dinner early, and she has to brush her teeth and put on her pajamas first. But then they let her stay up late, Evie on the couch between them, shifting to lean on Bill, then Mike, and back to Bill. She usually falls asleep before the end of the movie, and one of them carries her to bed and tucks her in.
*
They go out for dinner on a Friday when Bill has Evie but she's at a friend's birthday party sleepover. They both have their phones on, just in case.
Mike will drink whatever, but Bill's gotten pickier about wine over the years, so Mike leaves ordering a bottle up to him. Bill's driving, though, which means Mike ends up drinking most of it.
He's definitely drunk by the time they get home, which is why he doesn't do anything but kiss back for a while when Bill kisses him. He gets a full-color, sound, and texture flashback to what it was like to blow Bill in the old apartment - the old old one, way back when - and that's what makes him snap out of it and push Bill away.
"You chose Christine."
"I was selfish," Bill says. "I made the choice that let me keep you both. We're going to be a band, no matter what. Even if this doesn't work out."
Mike takes another step back. "I'm going home."
"You're too drunk to drive."
"I'll call a cab."
He does take a cab, waiting for it outside and collapsing into his own - cold, empty - bed when he gets home.
*
He wakes up hungover and pissed off, but they promised to take Evie to the movies, and Mike's not going to ditch out on a promise to her.
He calls Bill and says, "My car's still there. You're going to have to pick me up," and absolutely refuses to talk about anything else.
Evie makes big eyes at him and says, "You're going? But what about pancakes?" when he tries to leave after dinner.
"Stay," Bill says, softly, out of Evie's earshot. "Just to sleep."
Mike heaves a very fake sigh for Evie's benefit. "Okay, I'll stay and make you pancakes."
Evie hugs him tight and wakes him up early in the morning for breakfast.
But he goes home again after they drop Evie off at Christine's in the afternoon.
*
The last week before they go out on tour he has to keep shuttling back and forth between his place and Bill's trying to pack all the shit he needs, plus rehearsals, and he still ends up crashing at Bill's three nights. He keeps waiting for Bill to do or say something about it, but things are mostly the same, except that Mike's stopped trying not to think about Bill when he jerks off.
The night before they leave, they take Evie out for dinner. Mike tried to tell Bill he didn't need to go with them, but Bill said, "She'll miss you too," and Mike didn't have the heart to do anything that would make it harder on Evie.
After dinner, he goes home with Bill since they're in Bill's car and Mike's shit - most of which was at Bill's to begin with - is all packed up. He doesn't really want to be alone anyway, even though he's going to be crowded in with a whole bunch of people in less than twenty-four hours. He already misses Evie.
Before they go to bed, Bill stops him in the middle of the bedroom, hands on Mike's hips, and kisses him, lightly. "I still want this," Bill says, and then he lets Mike go to bed as usual.
*
He kisses Mike again a couple of times on tour, buys his coffee, steals away with him for the occasional meal in a real restaurant without anyone else. Brings him the phone to talk to Evie at least every other day. Tells him half a dozen times that they can still have the band if it doesn't work out.
*
They have two nights in a hotel in New York. Gabe and Ryland hang with them at the show and afterwards, and before they're allowed to go to the hotel, Gabe wrings a promise of lunch out of Mike.
And, go figure, one of the first things Gabe says is, "So you and Bilvy?"
"Jealous you didn't get to him first?"
"Hey, my marriage is still good." Gabe holds up his left hand. "So tell me about you and Bill."
Mike laughs at Gabe being in a still strong marriage, the way he always does, and then says, "It's complicated."
"Complicated because he's got a kid?" Gabe's tone is entirely neutral, but Mike knows Gabe will fuck up anyone who hurts Evie.
"Complicated because he chose Christine and he can't just go back in time and have everything be the same."
Gabe's eyebrows actually go up. "Well, shit," he says. "I owe Travie fifty bucks. You know you and Bill will still be okay, no matter what."
"Yeah," Mike mutters. "That's what he keeps saying."
"Okay," Gabe says, drawing it out like you do with a completely irrational person. "What's the problem?"
"I don't want it to end."
First Gabe laughs. Then he says, "I don't know why people think Bill's the romantic." And then he asks, "Have you told Bill that?"
Mike has to shake his head, because, no, he has not told Bill that.
*
Bill calls while they're still lingering over lunch and invites them to join the rest of the band wherever it is that they've found to hang around for the day, so Gabe goes with them to wander in and out of crappy little stores wasting time and looking for unexpected things.
Gabe does seem to know where to find vegetarian food in every area of the city, so he at least makes himself useful.
"We have to call Evie," Bill says. "We'll be in in a minute."
Mike's pretty sure Gabe is laughing at him, but he still takes his turn hearing about Evie's day and telling her he misses her.
*
Bill kisses him when they get back to the hotel, and this time Mike encourages him, lets it go on longer, stops Bill before he can walk away.
"You keep saying we'll still be us if this ends. I don't want it to end." Mike doesn't look at Bill the whole time he says it.
"Mike," Bill says, soft and completely serious, "I don't want it to end either."
Mike looks at him then, and says, "If we do this, Evie is it. Even if we wanted to adopt or have a surrogate or whatever, we can't. There won't be anyone to keep them while we're on tour."
"I know." Bill looks sad, but certain. "I know you wanted kids."
"You did too."
"We have Evie." Bill slides his hand into Mike's hair. "Is that going to be enough?"
Mike nods. "Yeah." He wanted kids, plural, but Bill and Evie will be enough, will be something he's wanted for longer than he can think about.
Bill kisses him again, slow and lingering.
"We don't have to wait, right?" Mike says.
Bill says, "No," so Mike goes for his jeans, gets down on his knees, and his memory of what Bill tastes like is so much fainter than the real thing.
Bill goes down on him next, and that's also a hell of a lot better than he remembers.
*
"I'm going to tell Christine," Bill says a few days of kissing and sharing space later. "But we should tell Evie together when we get home."
*
They get home late on a Wednesday, too late to see Evie.
They go back to Bill's and despite all the sex they've been having the last few weeks of tour, it's the first time Bill's fucked him. Mike's exhausted from tour and glad to be with Bill and it's all a little intense. He has to close his eyes when he comes, and only opens them after Bill kisses him and says, "Hey."
"Yeah," he says looking into Bill's eyes, "I'm here."
Bill smiles, smug and satisfied. "Yes, you are."
*
Christine drops Evie off to have dinner with them the next night, even though she's not staying with them for a few more days. Bill actually sits down on the floor in the entryway and tugs Evie into a giant hug.
Mike tells Christine, "We'll bring her home before bedtime."
Christine says, "Thanks," and squeezes his arm.
Mike closes the door behind her and sits down on the floor with Bill and Evie.
*
After dinner, Mike and Bill sit down on the couch with Evie, and Bill says, "Uncle Mike and I are dating."
Evie looks at both of them. "Okay. Can we have ice cream for dessert?"
Mike and Bill exchange a look over her head, and Bill says, "Okay."
*
Mike comes back to Bill's one afternoon to find Evie sulking in her room and Bill sulking in the studio. He starts by knocking on Evie's door.
"Go away!"
"It's Mike. Can I come in?" When Evie doesn't answer, he says, "Then I'm just going to sit out here."
Mike can't hear the heavy sigh he's sure goes with it, but Evie says, "Fine."
Evie's curled up on her bed, her eyes red-rimmed and wet with tears. Mike's still getting used to this parenting thing and doesn't know exactly what he's supposed to do. He sits down next to Evie and pulls her into his lap and just lets her stay there.
"You know we love you, right?" he says after a while. "Your mom and your dad and me."
Evie nods against his chest. A little later, she pushes away from him. "I'm okay now."
Mike kisses her forehead. "Okay."
He goes to the studio next. Bill's on the couch with a pen and a notebook, but he's clearly not doing any writing. Mike puts an arm around him, hooks his chin on Bill's shoulder.
"You know she loves you, right?"
"Her teenage years are going to kill one of us," Bill says.
Mike just mmms and keeps hanging on, until Bill eventually relaxes into him.
"What I don't understand," Mike says, "is how I ended up being the peacemaker."
Bill actually laughs and relaxes a little more. "Mysteries of the universe."
Evie comes in a little later, and says, "Daddy, I'm sorry I yelled at you."
Bill gets up and goes over to hug her. "I'm sorry too. Do you want to help me make dinner?"
Evie says, "Yes," and Mike picks up a guitar while they leave. They can have some father-daughter time.
*
Mike slowly sorts through the stuff left in his apartment and moves everything he wants to keep into Bill's.
Bill takes Mike as his date to Christine's wedding, and to Tom's.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"I've seen you and Tom be civil to each other."
"It's not Tom I'm worried about," Mike mutters.
Bill laughs. "She's the bride. She's going to be too busy to kick your ass."
*
After Christine and Scott have their second kid, Christine puts her foot down about Christmas.
"We're not traveling for Christmas anymore," she writes in an email to her whole family, Scott's family, Bill and his family, and Mike. "You are welcome to join us at our house for Christmas morning."
Mike's brother starts spending Christmas with his wife's family, so Mike's family switches to celebrating on Christmas Eve. Some years Evie comes home with Mike and Bill afterwards, and they do stockings at their house before they go over to Christine's in the morning. Other years, they drop Evie off at Christine's and go over after she's done stockings with her brother and sister. Mike and Bill invariably get drafted to help with cooking.
The first year Scott's parents join them, Scott's mother says, "I don't know how you can do this. I mean, Christmas with your ex and his new boyfriend. I couldn't do it."
Evie's going through a bratty stage, and she says, "They're my parents," as scathingly as only a teenager can.
Mike's fucking proud of her. Bill looks like he's trying not to smirk. Christine says, "Evie," but mildly.
*
Mike asks Bill to marry him on a Saturday night four years after he moved in, when they're leaning into each other on the couch listening to Cursive's newest album.
Bill says yes, and they buy rings together.
*
They get married in a small civil ceremony on a Sunday afternoon six weeks later. Michael is Mike's best man and Adam is Bill's. Evie's their flower girl, even if she's a teenager now, and Butcher carries the rings.
Pictures of one or more of them in their tuxes start showing up online a couple of days later. Mike and Bill pick out one of the photos their photographer took of the whole band and send it to Adam to write an official blog post:Hello Good Friend,
I wanted to tell you what we've been doing.
Mike and Bill got married last week. It was an awesome party, and we all wore monkey suits.
We're giving them some time off to get used to wearing wedding rings, and then we're going right back into the studio to start recording demos. We're planning some tours for after that. It's going to rule!
Sincerely,
Adam
Mike and Bill don't read the comments, but Adam tells them they're mostly congratulatory.
*
Evie goes to junior prom with a guy named Aiden. Mike and Bill go over to Christine's so they can be in and take pre-prom pictures, and so they can glare at Aiden.
"Mike's not as scary as he looks," Evie tells Aiden.
"Yeah, but your dad's a lot scarier than he looks," Mike says.
Evie rolls her eyes. "Come take pictures, and then we're leaving."
Bill dug out a couple of tuxedo-printed t-shirts for him and Mike to wear, which means that Christine gets a bunch of pictures of Evie laughing at them.
*
Evie dates Aiden all the way into the fall. Mike and Bill insist she bring Aiden over every once in a while so they can get to know him.
"You and Aiden have been going out for a while," Mike says when he and Evie are the only ones home one summer day.
Evie groans. "Please don't give me the sex talk. I've already gotten it from Mom and Dad. They both gave me condoms and Mom and Aunt Courtney both said they'd take me to the doctor if I wanted to go on the pill."
Mike chuckles because he can imagine those conversations. "We were all having sex when we were your age. We just want you to be safe."
"Please, please do not ever tell me anything about your sex life."
"Sure thing, kid, but that only goes one way. You can talk to me about anything, even your sex life."
Evie makes a face, but she also says, "I got it. You're a good dad," before she escapes to her room.
Mike grins even though there's no one there to see it. It's been years, but he still loves it every time someone refers to him as Evie's dad.
*
Evie and Aiden break up a couple of weeks before Halloween. Evie refuses to talk to any of them about it, but she takes it hard.
She brings the kids by on Halloween, Melody with a costume built around the fairy wings Evie wore three years ago and Gilbert all in black with cardboard and foil throwing stars. Evie's wearing black with a pumpkin sticker on her cheek that probably came from Melody's collection.
Bill hugs Evie tight while Mike takes Melody and Gilbert into the kitchen. He and Bill made popcorn balls with orange food coloring to look like pumpkins. He gives the kids each one and supervises to make sure they don't get their costumes entirely sticky. Bill and Evie come in after a while, and Mike gives her one too, as well as a bag of them to take home.
She leans against him when he puts his arm around her shoulders in a half hug, and she looks happy when she smiles at the kids.
*
Evie tells them in the middle of April, after she's gotten her college acceptance letters and is still deciding where she wants to go, that Bronx is flying in to be her date to her senior prom.
Mike knows that Bill talks to Pete about it, and he guesses that Christine probably makes her own phone calls. Evie just keeps telling them that Bronx is going to be her date and refuses to talk about it beyond that.
Mike picks her up from Christine's one Sunday. Evie's scowling as she comes out to meet him before he can even get out of the car. Behind her, Christine looks tired, and Mike waves to her. She waves back before she closes the door.
"Let's get milkshakes," Mike suggests.
"I'm not some ten-year-old you can make everything better for with a treat."
"Maybe I just want a milkshake."
On the way home, Evie says, "It's not like we're dating or anything. Things have just been crappy since Aiden dumped me, and Bronx is famous, and I want to show them that I'm better than they are."
She's looking out the window, so Mike doesn't bother trying to hide his grin. "You're just like your dad."
Evie makes an unhappy noise around the straw of her milkshake.
"Hey, I love your dad. I think that's a good thing. You got a dress yet?"
"No. I'll probably just raid Mom's closet or something." The straw squeaks against the lid while she fiddles with it.
"You're not going to get your mom to take you shopping?"
"She's busy with the little kids."
*
Evie retreats to her room after dinner. Mike calls Christine from the house phone and makes Bill pick up one of the other handsets. After he tells the them what Evie said about wanting to show up the other kids, he says, "Christine, you should take her shopping for a dress."
"I don't think she wants me to."
"She does," Mike says. "She said you're busy with the little kids."
Christine swears. "Scott's in Connecticut for a conference next weekend."
"We'll babysit," Bill says before Mike can. "Come on," he says when Christine hesitates. "This is her last prom and we did okay with Evie. We can handle Melody and Gilbert for a day."
"Okay, thank you."
Mike's pretty sure Christine calls Evie to tell her about it after she gets off the phone with them because she's a lot happier the next day.
*
Bill groans when he closes the door behind Christine and all three of the kids. "I forgot how much work they are at that age." He puts his arms around Mike and presses his face into Mike's neck.
"And you only had one when Evie was that age." Mike laces his hands together at the small of Bill's back.
"And we're getting old."
"Forty's not that old."
Bill raises his head. "Are you sorry? That we only have Evie?"
"Well, I got you out of the deal too." Mike tugs Bill closer. "I think it turned out pretty well."
*
Bronx stays with his grandparents, but comes to Mike and Bill's to pick up Evie. She's still in her room getting ready when he gets there. Mike leaves Bill and Scott with Melody and Gilbert and takes Bronx into the kitchen.
Mike crosses his arms and looks at Bronx. "Evie is very special to us."
Bronx just rolls his eyes. "If this is about respecting her and not hurting her or pressuring her into sex, you can skip it. Uncle Travie and Uncle Gabe both already gave me that speech."
Mike stifles the urge to laugh, because of course they did. "As long as you were listening. And don't let her pressure you into anything you're not ready for either."
"Yeah, got that one from Mom and Dad. I'm all good on parental speeches."
The kid really is a little shit, but Mike never expected anything else from Pete's kid, and it does take him back to the days when they were all teenagers struggling to find their bands.
"And no drinking," Mike adds for good measure.
Bronx throws him a sloppy salute, and then Melody's voice says, "Evie, you look like a princess!" and Mike lets him out of the kitchen.
Evie does look amazing. Her dress is a deep red ballgown that has sparkling detail winding down her side. She and Christine have twisted her hair up and her skin shimmers with some kind of powder. Years in a house with a teenage girl have taught Mike more than he ever thought he would know about makeup. She looks like a grownup.
"You look awesome." Bronx kisses her hand, which makes her grin.
"Thanks." Evie gives in to Melody's clamoring and turns so she can see the whole outfit.
They do pictures, a million of them in every combination. Evie even insists on one with Bill, Mike, and Scott: "All three of my dads."
Mike has to swallow the lump in his throat, and Bill's eyes look damp around the edges.
In her heels, Evie's as tall as Bill, and Bronx hasn't made it any taller than Pete. Even as hilarious a picture as they make walking out to Bronx's grandmother's car, Mike can't help feeling like they're losing something as their kid grows up.
He and Bill lean against each other to watch them go, but Mike has to let go so Bill can hug Christine. They may have been divorced for the better part of a decade, but being Evie's parents keeps them tied pretty tightly together. Mike's not surprised when they both come out of it wiping their eyes. None of them say that it's college next, but Mike's pretty sure they're all thinking it.
*
College is next. Evie says goodbye to Scott, Melody, and Gilbert in Chicago, and then Mike, Bill, and Christine fly with her to Austin. Mike and Bill made sure their summer touring schedule left them the break for it. By this time, Bill's mostly gotten over his private complaints that they've gone wrong somewhere if Evie's going to a large state school in Texas with one of the largest Greek systems in the country and is back to joining the rest of them in trying to reconcile themselves to the fact that their daughter is going to college a thousand miles away.
Evie's roommate is a black-haired girl named Tessa with a deep Texas accent.
"Evie," she says when she comes into the room. She drops the bags she's carrying and hugs Evie in one of those hugs Mike's seen teenage girls the world over exchange.
Tessa doesn't look all that different from the kids who come see them play, but she ignores all three of the adults in favor of chatting on about what they should put where. She only clues back into their existence when her parents come in, and then there are introductions all around. Evie hasn't told them much about Tessa, and Mike's willing to bet Tessa hasn't told her parents much about Evie either. They're too polite to come out and ask, but he can tell they're trying to figure out what, exactly, their relationships are to each other, and Evie doesn't bother to enlighten them.
They don't spend much time with Tessa's family anyway; they're busy taking Evie to buy groceries and dishes and everything else she needs.
All too soon, it's time for them to leave her there. They take turns hugging her.
"You're coming home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and call me if you need anything," Christine says.
"I will, I promise."
For all that she's been ready for this, Evie clings to each of them in turn.
Mike drives them back to the airport. Christine sits in the passenger seat and wipes at her eyes. Bill sits in the back and reaches into the front to hold Christine's hand and squeeze Mike's shoulder.
"I can't believe we just left our baby at college," Christine says when they're in the gate area waiting for their flight. "I remember when she was born."
Bill stops leaning hard against Mike to put his arms around her, and after a moment, he reaches out and pulls Mike into the hug too.
"We did a good job raising her," Bill says. "She'll be okay."
*
The year Bill turns fifty, when they're playing a mix of new songs and the same things they've been playing for twenty years and Bill is still jumping off of everything on the stage and they're hoping Evie doesn't go into labor until after tour is over, Bill says, "This is all I ever wanted."
Mike looks up from where he's settling ice over Bill's knee. "Bad knees?" If he's sharp about it, it's because he doesn't want Bill hurting himself any more than he already has.
"No," Bill laughs. "The band, someone to grow old with, grandkids."
Mike settles Bill's leg onto the couch and moves around to sit behind him, so Bill leans back against his chest. "Me too."
Disclaimer: Fiction.
Warning: Christine and Genevieve are main characters in this story.
Notes: Thank you to inlovewithnight for encouragement and reassurance, and lakeeffectgirl for additional reassurance.
What happens is that 30 Seconds to Mars decides to stay in L.A. and write for a couple of months just as TAI gets off tour, and Mike and Emma discover that as much as they still love each other, they've both changed enough that they don't actually like living together anymore. When they finally talk about it, Mike says, "But I thought we would have kids and grow old together," and Emma's eyes get even wider than usual and she says, "I'm not having kids."
They both cry and cling to each other their last night together, and then Mike moves back to Chicago and rents a just passable one-bedroom apartment.
He gets together with Bill and Adam to do some writing and more fucking around, mostly at the practice space, and he spends some time hanging out with other friends, and a lot of time working his way through the shelves of the closest library branch.
*
Mike ends up going to a bunch of shows, people finding out he's in town and inviting him out. He doesn't always ask who they're going to see, which is how he ends up at the back of a room full of teenagers watching Empires kill it on stage.
At the end of the show, Mike skulks around the edges of the bar. He signs a few autographs for kids who notice him and isn't particularly surprised when Tom finds him.
"Good show."
"Thanks."
They make some small talk that's pretty much as awkward as Mike always thought it would be.
"How's Bill doing?" Tom asks. "The divorce must be final by now."
Mike stares at him like an idiot, and it's almost funny how horrified Tom looks after a moment.
"Oh, shit. He didn't tell you."
*
Mike waits until the next morning to call Bill.
"Why didn't you tell me you were getting divorced? I had to hear it from Tom."
"You and Tom are talking now?"
"No, we're not talking, and that's not the fucking point."
Bill sighs. "I didn't want you to have to think about two relationships ending."
"So you did instead? You're an asshole." Mike hangs up.
*
He calls Bill back three hours later when he's not quite so mad. "You're still an asshole, but if you tell me where you live, I'll come get drunk with you."
Bill does, and Mike stops at a liquor store on the way over. They get very, very drunk, and since Bill doesn't have a guest room, just one bedroom for him and one for Evie, Mike crashes in Bill's bed.
In the morning, they lie in bed, too hungover to get up, and Mike asks, "What happened?"
"She didn't want this anymore," Bill says. "It's not that she doesn't want more kids. She just doesn't want them with someone who's on tour half the year."
"Sorry," Mike offers. They lie in silence for a while longer. "You ready to make an album about it?"
Bill half laughs. "Not today." He finally moves, one arm emerging from under the blankets to grab for his phone. "I have to pick Evie up at four. You can come if you want."
Four is late enough that they're mostly recovered by then, and Bill waits in the car and sends Mike up to the door alone.
Christine answers his knock, and he can tell she wasn't expecting him.
"Hi," Mike says. "Bill's in the car." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder, where Bill is parked well within eyesight.
"Yeah, okay." Christine turns away from the door a little to call for Evie, and the light catches on her face in a way it didn't when she was facing him. She's aged since the last time he saw her.
"Daddy," Evie yells as she comes barreling down the hallway. She stops before she gets to the door. "Uncle Mike!"
Mike grins and hugs her. "Your dad's out in the car."
Christine says, "I love you," and hugs Evie before she can go dashing out the door.
"Love you too." Evie hugs back before she actually does dash past Mike.
Christine's smile after her is a little sad.
Mike hugs her. "Sorry about the divorce."
Christine hugs back. "Sorry about Emma."
They take Evie for an early dinner of burgers. Well, Bill has a burger. Mike orders grilled cheese.
"You can eat meat now," Bill says.
Mike shrugs. "We all come out of relationships with things. You got Evie. I got vegetarianism."
"I want grilled cheese too," Evie says.
Bill rolls his eyes, but gets her grilled cheese and a lot of fries for the three of them to share.
*
Now that they're deep in the throes of writing an album, Mike spends a lot of time at Bill's. He crashes there a couple of nights a week. Evie doesn't seem to mind even though Mike's often the one to tell her she can't go play until she finishes her homework.
Michael and Butcher come into town so they can flesh out some of Mike and Bill's ideas for songs. Out of a hell of a lot of breakup songs, they pick out an album's worth of the best of them. There's one that Mike vetoes.
"It'll sound great with a lot of guitar behind it," Michael says.
Mike shakes his head, because it would, but it's the bitterest of the set. "I don't want Evie hearing it."
*
After a while, Mike makes Bill move. "You at least need a studio."
"Why can't you have one?"
"Evie's going to live with you."
Bill heaves a very put-upon sigh, but he takes Mike with him to narrow down the choices before he takes Evie with him to make the final decision.
Bill talks about putting a futon in the studio, but in the end he just dumps a couch in there and Mike keeps crashing in with him when he stays over.
*
Evie knows they won't budge when it comes to bedtime on school nights, but sometimes on weekends she'll beg to stay up late and watch a movie. They eat dinner early, and she has to brush her teeth and put on her pajamas first. But then they let her stay up late, Evie on the couch between them, shifting to lean on Bill, then Mike, and back to Bill. She usually falls asleep before the end of the movie, and one of them carries her to bed and tucks her in.
*
They go out for dinner on a Friday when Bill has Evie but she's at a friend's birthday party sleepover. They both have their phones on, just in case.
Mike will drink whatever, but Bill's gotten pickier about wine over the years, so Mike leaves ordering a bottle up to him. Bill's driving, though, which means Mike ends up drinking most of it.
He's definitely drunk by the time they get home, which is why he doesn't do anything but kiss back for a while when Bill kisses him. He gets a full-color, sound, and texture flashback to what it was like to blow Bill in the old apartment - the old old one, way back when - and that's what makes him snap out of it and push Bill away.
"You chose Christine."
"I was selfish," Bill says. "I made the choice that let me keep you both. We're going to be a band, no matter what. Even if this doesn't work out."
Mike takes another step back. "I'm going home."
"You're too drunk to drive."
"I'll call a cab."
He does take a cab, waiting for it outside and collapsing into his own - cold, empty - bed when he gets home.
*
He wakes up hungover and pissed off, but they promised to take Evie to the movies, and Mike's not going to ditch out on a promise to her.
He calls Bill and says, "My car's still there. You're going to have to pick me up," and absolutely refuses to talk about anything else.
Evie makes big eyes at him and says, "You're going? But what about pancakes?" when he tries to leave after dinner.
"Stay," Bill says, softly, out of Evie's earshot. "Just to sleep."
Mike heaves a very fake sigh for Evie's benefit. "Okay, I'll stay and make you pancakes."
Evie hugs him tight and wakes him up early in the morning for breakfast.
But he goes home again after they drop Evie off at Christine's in the afternoon.
*
The last week before they go out on tour he has to keep shuttling back and forth between his place and Bill's trying to pack all the shit he needs, plus rehearsals, and he still ends up crashing at Bill's three nights. He keeps waiting for Bill to do or say something about it, but things are mostly the same, except that Mike's stopped trying not to think about Bill when he jerks off.
The night before they leave, they take Evie out for dinner. Mike tried to tell Bill he didn't need to go with them, but Bill said, "She'll miss you too," and Mike didn't have the heart to do anything that would make it harder on Evie.
After dinner, he goes home with Bill since they're in Bill's car and Mike's shit - most of which was at Bill's to begin with - is all packed up. He doesn't really want to be alone anyway, even though he's going to be crowded in with a whole bunch of people in less than twenty-four hours. He already misses Evie.
Before they go to bed, Bill stops him in the middle of the bedroom, hands on Mike's hips, and kisses him, lightly. "I still want this," Bill says, and then he lets Mike go to bed as usual.
*
He kisses Mike again a couple of times on tour, buys his coffee, steals away with him for the occasional meal in a real restaurant without anyone else. Brings him the phone to talk to Evie at least every other day. Tells him half a dozen times that they can still have the band if it doesn't work out.
*
They have two nights in a hotel in New York. Gabe and Ryland hang with them at the show and afterwards, and before they're allowed to go to the hotel, Gabe wrings a promise of lunch out of Mike.
And, go figure, one of the first things Gabe says is, "So you and Bilvy?"
"Jealous you didn't get to him first?"
"Hey, my marriage is still good." Gabe holds up his left hand. "So tell me about you and Bill."
Mike laughs at Gabe being in a still strong marriage, the way he always does, and then says, "It's complicated."
"Complicated because he's got a kid?" Gabe's tone is entirely neutral, but Mike knows Gabe will fuck up anyone who hurts Evie.
"Complicated because he chose Christine and he can't just go back in time and have everything be the same."
Gabe's eyebrows actually go up. "Well, shit," he says. "I owe Travie fifty bucks. You know you and Bill will still be okay, no matter what."
"Yeah," Mike mutters. "That's what he keeps saying."
"Okay," Gabe says, drawing it out like you do with a completely irrational person. "What's the problem?"
"I don't want it to end."
First Gabe laughs. Then he says, "I don't know why people think Bill's the romantic." And then he asks, "Have you told Bill that?"
Mike has to shake his head, because, no, he has not told Bill that.
*
Bill calls while they're still lingering over lunch and invites them to join the rest of the band wherever it is that they've found to hang around for the day, so Gabe goes with them to wander in and out of crappy little stores wasting time and looking for unexpected things.
Gabe does seem to know where to find vegetarian food in every area of the city, so he at least makes himself useful.
"We have to call Evie," Bill says. "We'll be in in a minute."
Mike's pretty sure Gabe is laughing at him, but he still takes his turn hearing about Evie's day and telling her he misses her.
*
Bill kisses him when they get back to the hotel, and this time Mike encourages him, lets it go on longer, stops Bill before he can walk away.
"You keep saying we'll still be us if this ends. I don't want it to end." Mike doesn't look at Bill the whole time he says it.
"Mike," Bill says, soft and completely serious, "I don't want it to end either."
Mike looks at him then, and says, "If we do this, Evie is it. Even if we wanted to adopt or have a surrogate or whatever, we can't. There won't be anyone to keep them while we're on tour."
"I know." Bill looks sad, but certain. "I know you wanted kids."
"You did too."
"We have Evie." Bill slides his hand into Mike's hair. "Is that going to be enough?"
Mike nods. "Yeah." He wanted kids, plural, but Bill and Evie will be enough, will be something he's wanted for longer than he can think about.
Bill kisses him again, slow and lingering.
"We don't have to wait, right?" Mike says.
Bill says, "No," so Mike goes for his jeans, gets down on his knees, and his memory of what Bill tastes like is so much fainter than the real thing.
Bill goes down on him next, and that's also a hell of a lot better than he remembers.
*
"I'm going to tell Christine," Bill says a few days of kissing and sharing space later. "But we should tell Evie together when we get home."
*
They get home late on a Wednesday, too late to see Evie.
They go back to Bill's and despite all the sex they've been having the last few weeks of tour, it's the first time Bill's fucked him. Mike's exhausted from tour and glad to be with Bill and it's all a little intense. He has to close his eyes when he comes, and only opens them after Bill kisses him and says, "Hey."
"Yeah," he says looking into Bill's eyes, "I'm here."
Bill smiles, smug and satisfied. "Yes, you are."
*
Christine drops Evie off to have dinner with them the next night, even though she's not staying with them for a few more days. Bill actually sits down on the floor in the entryway and tugs Evie into a giant hug.
Mike tells Christine, "We'll bring her home before bedtime."
Christine says, "Thanks," and squeezes his arm.
Mike closes the door behind her and sits down on the floor with Bill and Evie.
*
After dinner, Mike and Bill sit down on the couch with Evie, and Bill says, "Uncle Mike and I are dating."
Evie looks at both of them. "Okay. Can we have ice cream for dessert?"
Mike and Bill exchange a look over her head, and Bill says, "Okay."
*
Mike comes back to Bill's one afternoon to find Evie sulking in her room and Bill sulking in the studio. He starts by knocking on Evie's door.
"Go away!"
"It's Mike. Can I come in?" When Evie doesn't answer, he says, "Then I'm just going to sit out here."
Mike can't hear the heavy sigh he's sure goes with it, but Evie says, "Fine."
Evie's curled up on her bed, her eyes red-rimmed and wet with tears. Mike's still getting used to this parenting thing and doesn't know exactly what he's supposed to do. He sits down next to Evie and pulls her into his lap and just lets her stay there.
"You know we love you, right?" he says after a while. "Your mom and your dad and me."
Evie nods against his chest. A little later, she pushes away from him. "I'm okay now."
Mike kisses her forehead. "Okay."
He goes to the studio next. Bill's on the couch with a pen and a notebook, but he's clearly not doing any writing. Mike puts an arm around him, hooks his chin on Bill's shoulder.
"You know she loves you, right?"
"Her teenage years are going to kill one of us," Bill says.
Mike just mmms and keeps hanging on, until Bill eventually relaxes into him.
"What I don't understand," Mike says, "is how I ended up being the peacemaker."
Bill actually laughs and relaxes a little more. "Mysteries of the universe."
Evie comes in a little later, and says, "Daddy, I'm sorry I yelled at you."
Bill gets up and goes over to hug her. "I'm sorry too. Do you want to help me make dinner?"
Evie says, "Yes," and Mike picks up a guitar while they leave. They can have some father-daughter time.
*
Mike slowly sorts through the stuff left in his apartment and moves everything he wants to keep into Bill's.
Bill takes Mike as his date to Christine's wedding, and to Tom's.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"I've seen you and Tom be civil to each other."
"It's not Tom I'm worried about," Mike mutters.
Bill laughs. "She's the bride. She's going to be too busy to kick your ass."
*
After Christine and Scott have their second kid, Christine puts her foot down about Christmas.
"We're not traveling for Christmas anymore," she writes in an email to her whole family, Scott's family, Bill and his family, and Mike. "You are welcome to join us at our house for Christmas morning."
Mike's brother starts spending Christmas with his wife's family, so Mike's family switches to celebrating on Christmas Eve. Some years Evie comes home with Mike and Bill afterwards, and they do stockings at their house before they go over to Christine's in the morning. Other years, they drop Evie off at Christine's and go over after she's done stockings with her brother and sister. Mike and Bill invariably get drafted to help with cooking.
The first year Scott's parents join them, Scott's mother says, "I don't know how you can do this. I mean, Christmas with your ex and his new boyfriend. I couldn't do it."
Evie's going through a bratty stage, and she says, "They're my parents," as scathingly as only a teenager can.
Mike's fucking proud of her. Bill looks like he's trying not to smirk. Christine says, "Evie," but mildly.
*
Mike asks Bill to marry him on a Saturday night four years after he moved in, when they're leaning into each other on the couch listening to Cursive's newest album.
Bill says yes, and they buy rings together.
*
They get married in a small civil ceremony on a Sunday afternoon six weeks later. Michael is Mike's best man and Adam is Bill's. Evie's their flower girl, even if she's a teenager now, and Butcher carries the rings.
Pictures of one or more of them in their tuxes start showing up online a couple of days later. Mike and Bill pick out one of the photos their photographer took of the whole band and send it to Adam to write an official blog post:Hello Good Friend,
I wanted to tell you what we've been doing.
Mike and Bill got married last week. It was an awesome party, and we all wore monkey suits.
We're giving them some time off to get used to wearing wedding rings, and then we're going right back into the studio to start recording demos. We're planning some tours for after that. It's going to rule!
Sincerely,
Adam
Mike and Bill don't read the comments, but Adam tells them they're mostly congratulatory.
*
Evie goes to junior prom with a guy named Aiden. Mike and Bill go over to Christine's so they can be in and take pre-prom pictures, and so they can glare at Aiden.
"Mike's not as scary as he looks," Evie tells Aiden.
"Yeah, but your dad's a lot scarier than he looks," Mike says.
Evie rolls her eyes. "Come take pictures, and then we're leaving."
Bill dug out a couple of tuxedo-printed t-shirts for him and Mike to wear, which means that Christine gets a bunch of pictures of Evie laughing at them.
*
Evie dates Aiden all the way into the fall. Mike and Bill insist she bring Aiden over every once in a while so they can get to know him.
"You and Aiden have been going out for a while," Mike says when he and Evie are the only ones home one summer day.
Evie groans. "Please don't give me the sex talk. I've already gotten it from Mom and Dad. They both gave me condoms and Mom and Aunt Courtney both said they'd take me to the doctor if I wanted to go on the pill."
Mike chuckles because he can imagine those conversations. "We were all having sex when we were your age. We just want you to be safe."
"Please, please do not ever tell me anything about your sex life."
"Sure thing, kid, but that only goes one way. You can talk to me about anything, even your sex life."
Evie makes a face, but she also says, "I got it. You're a good dad," before she escapes to her room.
Mike grins even though there's no one there to see it. It's been years, but he still loves it every time someone refers to him as Evie's dad.
*
Evie and Aiden break up a couple of weeks before Halloween. Evie refuses to talk to any of them about it, but she takes it hard.
She brings the kids by on Halloween, Melody with a costume built around the fairy wings Evie wore three years ago and Gilbert all in black with cardboard and foil throwing stars. Evie's wearing black with a pumpkin sticker on her cheek that probably came from Melody's collection.
Bill hugs Evie tight while Mike takes Melody and Gilbert into the kitchen. He and Bill made popcorn balls with orange food coloring to look like pumpkins. He gives the kids each one and supervises to make sure they don't get their costumes entirely sticky. Bill and Evie come in after a while, and Mike gives her one too, as well as a bag of them to take home.
She leans against him when he puts his arm around her shoulders in a half hug, and she looks happy when she smiles at the kids.
*
Evie tells them in the middle of April, after she's gotten her college acceptance letters and is still deciding where she wants to go, that Bronx is flying in to be her date to her senior prom.
Mike knows that Bill talks to Pete about it, and he guesses that Christine probably makes her own phone calls. Evie just keeps telling them that Bronx is going to be her date and refuses to talk about it beyond that.
Mike picks her up from Christine's one Sunday. Evie's scowling as she comes out to meet him before he can even get out of the car. Behind her, Christine looks tired, and Mike waves to her. She waves back before she closes the door.
"Let's get milkshakes," Mike suggests.
"I'm not some ten-year-old you can make everything better for with a treat."
"Maybe I just want a milkshake."
On the way home, Evie says, "It's not like we're dating or anything. Things have just been crappy since Aiden dumped me, and Bronx is famous, and I want to show them that I'm better than they are."
She's looking out the window, so Mike doesn't bother trying to hide his grin. "You're just like your dad."
Evie makes an unhappy noise around the straw of her milkshake.
"Hey, I love your dad. I think that's a good thing. You got a dress yet?"
"No. I'll probably just raid Mom's closet or something." The straw squeaks against the lid while she fiddles with it.
"You're not going to get your mom to take you shopping?"
"She's busy with the little kids."
*
Evie retreats to her room after dinner. Mike calls Christine from the house phone and makes Bill pick up one of the other handsets. After he tells the them what Evie said about wanting to show up the other kids, he says, "Christine, you should take her shopping for a dress."
"I don't think she wants me to."
"She does," Mike says. "She said you're busy with the little kids."
Christine swears. "Scott's in Connecticut for a conference next weekend."
"We'll babysit," Bill says before Mike can. "Come on," he says when Christine hesitates. "This is her last prom and we did okay with Evie. We can handle Melody and Gilbert for a day."
"Okay, thank you."
Mike's pretty sure Christine calls Evie to tell her about it after she gets off the phone with them because she's a lot happier the next day.
*
Bill groans when he closes the door behind Christine and all three of the kids. "I forgot how much work they are at that age." He puts his arms around Mike and presses his face into Mike's neck.
"And you only had one when Evie was that age." Mike laces his hands together at the small of Bill's back.
"And we're getting old."
"Forty's not that old."
Bill raises his head. "Are you sorry? That we only have Evie?"
"Well, I got you out of the deal too." Mike tugs Bill closer. "I think it turned out pretty well."
*
Bronx stays with his grandparents, but comes to Mike and Bill's to pick up Evie. She's still in her room getting ready when he gets there. Mike leaves Bill and Scott with Melody and Gilbert and takes Bronx into the kitchen.
Mike crosses his arms and looks at Bronx. "Evie is very special to us."
Bronx just rolls his eyes. "If this is about respecting her and not hurting her or pressuring her into sex, you can skip it. Uncle Travie and Uncle Gabe both already gave me that speech."
Mike stifles the urge to laugh, because of course they did. "As long as you were listening. And don't let her pressure you into anything you're not ready for either."
"Yeah, got that one from Mom and Dad. I'm all good on parental speeches."
The kid really is a little shit, but Mike never expected anything else from Pete's kid, and it does take him back to the days when they were all teenagers struggling to find their bands.
"And no drinking," Mike adds for good measure.
Bronx throws him a sloppy salute, and then Melody's voice says, "Evie, you look like a princess!" and Mike lets him out of the kitchen.
Evie does look amazing. Her dress is a deep red ballgown that has sparkling detail winding down her side. She and Christine have twisted her hair up and her skin shimmers with some kind of powder. Years in a house with a teenage girl have taught Mike more than he ever thought he would know about makeup. She looks like a grownup.
"You look awesome." Bronx kisses her hand, which makes her grin.
"Thanks." Evie gives in to Melody's clamoring and turns so she can see the whole outfit.
They do pictures, a million of them in every combination. Evie even insists on one with Bill, Mike, and Scott: "All three of my dads."
Mike has to swallow the lump in his throat, and Bill's eyes look damp around the edges.
In her heels, Evie's as tall as Bill, and Bronx hasn't made it any taller than Pete. Even as hilarious a picture as they make walking out to Bronx's grandmother's car, Mike can't help feeling like they're losing something as their kid grows up.
He and Bill lean against each other to watch them go, but Mike has to let go so Bill can hug Christine. They may have been divorced for the better part of a decade, but being Evie's parents keeps them tied pretty tightly together. Mike's not surprised when they both come out of it wiping their eyes. None of them say that it's college next, but Mike's pretty sure they're all thinking it.
*
College is next. Evie says goodbye to Scott, Melody, and Gilbert in Chicago, and then Mike, Bill, and Christine fly with her to Austin. Mike and Bill made sure their summer touring schedule left them the break for it. By this time, Bill's mostly gotten over his private complaints that they've gone wrong somewhere if Evie's going to a large state school in Texas with one of the largest Greek systems in the country and is back to joining the rest of them in trying to reconcile themselves to the fact that their daughter is going to college a thousand miles away.
Evie's roommate is a black-haired girl named Tessa with a deep Texas accent.
"Evie," she says when she comes into the room. She drops the bags she's carrying and hugs Evie in one of those hugs Mike's seen teenage girls the world over exchange.
Tessa doesn't look all that different from the kids who come see them play, but she ignores all three of the adults in favor of chatting on about what they should put where. She only clues back into their existence when her parents come in, and then there are introductions all around. Evie hasn't told them much about Tessa, and Mike's willing to bet Tessa hasn't told her parents much about Evie either. They're too polite to come out and ask, but he can tell they're trying to figure out what, exactly, their relationships are to each other, and Evie doesn't bother to enlighten them.
They don't spend much time with Tessa's family anyway; they're busy taking Evie to buy groceries and dishes and everything else she needs.
All too soon, it's time for them to leave her there. They take turns hugging her.
"You're coming home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and call me if you need anything," Christine says.
"I will, I promise."
For all that she's been ready for this, Evie clings to each of them in turn.
Mike drives them back to the airport. Christine sits in the passenger seat and wipes at her eyes. Bill sits in the back and reaches into the front to hold Christine's hand and squeeze Mike's shoulder.
"I can't believe we just left our baby at college," Christine says when they're in the gate area waiting for their flight. "I remember when she was born."
Bill stops leaning hard against Mike to put his arms around her, and after a moment, he reaches out and pulls Mike into the hug too.
"We did a good job raising her," Bill says. "She'll be okay."
*
The year Bill turns fifty, when they're playing a mix of new songs and the same things they've been playing for twenty years and Bill is still jumping off of everything on the stage and they're hoping Evie doesn't go into labor until after tour is over, Bill says, "This is all I ever wanted."
Mike looks up from where he's settling ice over Bill's knee. "Bad knees?" If he's sharp about it, it's because he doesn't want Bill hurting himself any more than he already has.
"No," Bill laughs. "The band, someone to grow old with, grandkids."
Mike settles Bill's leg onto the couch and moves around to sit behind him, so Bill leans back against his chest. "Me too."