Fic: The Night Before the Night Before Christmas for brighty18
Title: The Night Before the Night Before Christmas
Author: cherie_morte
Recipient: brighty18
Rating: PG-13
Highlight for Warnings: *Language and Boys Being Pervy Boys*
Word Count: 1,550
Summary: Sirius decides to celebrate Christmas a little early.
Author's notes: Beta’d by wutendeskind. My prompt was: “Parody of/re-telling of/references to any famous Christmas story/movie.” I structured this around “The Night Before Christmas” with some “It’s a Wonderful Life” thrown in just because it was super ~appropriate. Hans Christian Anderson’s The Brave Tin Soldier gets a nod because I read it in children’s literature this semester and it helped me somewhat address her second prompt: “Favorite childhood toys discovered or rediscovered.” I tried to hit as many of your likes as possible and I really hope you enjoy this story and have a GREAT holiday season. <3333
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a-
Sirius paused, distracted from his silent poetry recital by a scratching sound at his feet.
“Wormtail? What the fuck?”
Sirius had decided to enter the house via the chimney route-despite that fact that he had the password and the magical abilities to break in even if he hadn’t had the password-just for the sake of tradition. Even with his attempts at making the entry wide enough to fit down without getting stuck, it had been so cramped that Sirius was now covered in soot and felt as though his insides had been packed into one of Lily’s tiny glass muggle ornaments. Thankfully, Sirius wasn’t one of the fattest Santa Clauses to go down a chimney and had managed to wriggle his way out, but as a result, he wasn’t one of the jolliest, either.
“Oh, stop looking at me like that. It’s Padfoot.”
The rat promptly changed back into the twenty-year-old blonde boy he had been before Sirius had awoken him with his cursing.
“Just making sure. I heard someone downstairs and I figured I’d better check and see if I needed to warn James. Scary times, you know, to have maniacs coming in through your ceiling. Or through James’s ceiling. Any ceiling, really.”
“You were going to inform on me, were you?”
“I still might, if I decide you’re a maniac. Which I very likely will. What the bollocks are you doing?”
“Didn’t you know I dress like a bearded apple and come down Chimneys every Thursday night? What does it look like I’m doing? I’m Santa Claus.”
“Which would make perfect sense if it were Christmas.”
“We’re having Christmas early. Now go get James and Lily and tell them to bring Harry. And wake Remus, if you can. I’ve managed to transfigure eight very ill-tempered broomsticks into flying reindeer and they will definitely break through the roof if I don’t get them back to their usual state soon.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Peter replied shaking his head groggily as he made his way back upstairs.
Harry had not really appreciated the theatrical brilliance of Sirius’s performance (he being six months old at the time) and the general consensus was that Sirius should have let the household remain asleep. Nevertheless, Sirius felt it to be a very important part of his godfathering duties to make sure Harry had a functioning Santa Claus every year until he realized that Santa Claus looked a little bit too much like that other guy he had to put up with all the time. This year would be no exception. No matter how many natural circumstances tried to get in the way.
“Why are we pretending it's Christmas?” James finally asked on behalf of everyone present.
Sirius shoved a poorly wrapped gift in his face and turned back to Remus with a stupid smile as he held out another gift (also badly wrapped, though clearly more effort was put into this one).
“Lovely night we’re having,” Peter said deliberately, trying to nod his head discretely out the window.
Lily made an “oh, I get it” face, Remus looked down shyly, and Sirius gave Peter an appreciative look. James, ever oblivious, looked out the window, made a clear effort to understand, and then shook his head.
“I’ve got nothing.”
Peter got up and walked to the window, pointed directly at the nearly full moon, and repeated his previous statement. James gaped and finally shrugged.
“Really, James, are you really going to make me say it? It’s a full moon tomorrow and nobody is missing Christmas. Now shut up and open your presents.”
James immediately looked guiltily from Sirius, who was doing his best not to glare, to Remus, who looked considerably less amused than he had the last time James had looked at him.
“Sorry, mate, I forgot.”
Remus smiled a little and waved his hand dismissively. Sirius inserted himself into the moment by shoving the aforementioned present in Remus’s face and chanting “open it” with all the petulance that would be expected from his noble upbringing.
Remus unwrapped the gift slowly while Sirius watched closely, his face turning an impressive shade of red once he caught sight of what was inside.
“Is it a ring?” Lily asked immediately. She later denied having her fingers crossed underneath the package she was unwrapping.
“Isn’t one wedding in one year enough for you, woman?” Sirius asked, his face horrified.
“Yeah, plus, Sirius has been eating way too much holiday ham to fit into a wedding dress.”
Sirius jabbed James in the ribs and attempted to be discrete as he glanced down at his stomach self-consciously.
“James is just jealous because Lily won the fight over who got to wear the dress to theirs,” Remus said soothingly. “I’m sure your growing tummy would look adorable in a wedding dress.”
“I think I hate everyone except for Peter,” Sirius confessed, looking a little surprised to be saying the words himself.
“That’s just because I’m the only person here who would look worse in a dress than you would.”
The other three laughed heartily and Sirius rolled his eyes.
“You people are only nice to me when I’m a dog.”
With that Sirius changed into Padfoot, leaving a silver beard and a stupid red hat on the floor, and jumped up on the couch next to Remus. The werewolf’s fingers curled absently in the thick black fur until they had all finished unwrapping their presents and Padfoot hopped down to tumble on the carpet with Harry.
“Eggnog, and then back to bed,” Lily announced sternly as she rose.
She threw Harry and Padfoot a worried glance as the enormous dog licked Harry’s face and the infant giggled.
“If he eats our son, you will never sleep in a bed again in your life,” she promised James before marching into the kitchen.
An hour later, Remus and Sirius were curled up in bed half naked watching a little tin soldier march himself around the room with great dignity.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Remus said, trying to sound less content than he was. He wasn’t really talking about the gift, but he figured Sirius was smart enough to know that. “Those things are antiques by now. I know how much they go for.”
The particular brand of enchanted soldier had discontinued production when too many of the tiny figures had taken household pets for enemies and declared war. Remus had owned one as a child. From age six it had been like a friend to him-it had been his favorite toy until Sirius had broken it second year. He’d always secretly missed it.
“I didn’t forget that face you made when you found the pieces. I felt so awful, even if I pretended not to at the time. I thought maybe it would cheer you up.”
“I don’t need cheering up,” Remus said, sounding sincere, before giving Sirius a slow, appreciative kiss.
“Really? Because I’d give you anything. Just tell me what you want.”
“I will kill you. I will kill you slowly.”
Remus sorely regretted agreeing to introduce Sirius to muggle holiday traditions. Of all the films to get fixated on, Sirius had chosen Remus’s least favorite holiday movie ever. Remus had almost not included It’s a Wonderful Life in the mix of holiday movies he had put together but had decided to because it was the big classic. This was a decision he was very sure he would be regretting for the rest of his life. Sirius had watched the film no less than seven times in the month of December alone.
“What is it you want, Moony? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Moony.”
“I hate you. I really, really hate you.”
Sirius just cuddled Remus closer and continued to speak the dialogue into Remus’s neck.
“You say ‘then what.’ I tear down the moon so it isn’t around causing anymore trouble. And then you swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see...and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your-“
“If you finish that in any way other than how it goes in the movie, I will be forced to divorce you.”
“But I haven’t even given you the ring yet,” Sirius pointed out logically before continuing his attack. “Am I talking too much?”
“How do you think the movie would have gone if she’d been honest and said ‘God yes, now shut the fuck up.’?”
“You are killing my holiday high, sir.”
“I forgive me for that.”
“I would punish you, if there weren’t a child in the next room.”
“I would let you.”
“In that case: Christmas next year. You, me, our flat, no one else. Yes?”
“It’s a date, baby.”
Sirius leaned over Remus and kissed him one more time.
“Goodnight, Sirius. Thank you for Christmas.”
Sirius lay back and let himself finish the silent poem he’d been slowly working through all evening:
Happy Christmas to all, he thought. It had been a good night.
Author: cherie_morte
Recipient: brighty18
Rating: PG-13
Highlight for Warnings: *Language and Boys Being Pervy Boys*
Word Count: 1,550
Summary: Sirius decides to celebrate Christmas a little early.
Author's notes: Beta’d by wutendeskind. My prompt was: “Parody of/re-telling of/references to any famous Christmas story/movie.” I structured this around “The Night Before Christmas” with some “It’s a Wonderful Life” thrown in just because it was super ~appropriate. Hans Christian Anderson’s The Brave Tin Soldier gets a nod because I read it in children’s literature this semester and it helped me somewhat address her second prompt: “Favorite childhood toys discovered or rediscovered.” I tried to hit as many of your likes as possible and I really hope you enjoy this story and have a GREAT holiday season. <3333
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a-
Sirius paused, distracted from his silent poetry recital by a scratching sound at his feet.
“Wormtail? What the fuck?”
Sirius had decided to enter the house via the chimney route-despite that fact that he had the password and the magical abilities to break in even if he hadn’t had the password-just for the sake of tradition. Even with his attempts at making the entry wide enough to fit down without getting stuck, it had been so cramped that Sirius was now covered in soot and felt as though his insides had been packed into one of Lily’s tiny glass muggle ornaments. Thankfully, Sirius wasn’t one of the fattest Santa Clauses to go down a chimney and had managed to wriggle his way out, but as a result, he wasn’t one of the jolliest, either.
“Oh, stop looking at me like that. It’s Padfoot.”
The rat promptly changed back into the twenty-year-old blonde boy he had been before Sirius had awoken him with his cursing.
“Just making sure. I heard someone downstairs and I figured I’d better check and see if I needed to warn James. Scary times, you know, to have maniacs coming in through your ceiling. Or through James’s ceiling. Any ceiling, really.”
“You were going to inform on me, were you?”
“I still might, if I decide you’re a maniac. Which I very likely will. What the bollocks are you doing?”
“Didn’t you know I dress like a bearded apple and come down Chimneys every Thursday night? What does it look like I’m doing? I’m Santa Claus.”
“Which would make perfect sense if it were Christmas.”
“We’re having Christmas early. Now go get James and Lily and tell them to bring Harry. And wake Remus, if you can. I’ve managed to transfigure eight very ill-tempered broomsticks into flying reindeer and they will definitely break through the roof if I don’t get them back to their usual state soon.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Peter replied shaking his head groggily as he made his way back upstairs.
Harry had not really appreciated the theatrical brilliance of Sirius’s performance (he being six months old at the time) and the general consensus was that Sirius should have let the household remain asleep. Nevertheless, Sirius felt it to be a very important part of his godfathering duties to make sure Harry had a functioning Santa Claus every year until he realized that Santa Claus looked a little bit too much like that other guy he had to put up with all the time. This year would be no exception. No matter how many natural circumstances tried to get in the way.
“Why are we pretending it's Christmas?” James finally asked on behalf of everyone present.
Sirius shoved a poorly wrapped gift in his face and turned back to Remus with a stupid smile as he held out another gift (also badly wrapped, though clearly more effort was put into this one).
“Lovely night we’re having,” Peter said deliberately, trying to nod his head discretely out the window.
Lily made an “oh, I get it” face, Remus looked down shyly, and Sirius gave Peter an appreciative look. James, ever oblivious, looked out the window, made a clear effort to understand, and then shook his head.
“I’ve got nothing.”
Peter got up and walked to the window, pointed directly at the nearly full moon, and repeated his previous statement. James gaped and finally shrugged.
“Really, James, are you really going to make me say it? It’s a full moon tomorrow and nobody is missing Christmas. Now shut up and open your presents.”
James immediately looked guiltily from Sirius, who was doing his best not to glare, to Remus, who looked considerably less amused than he had the last time James had looked at him.
“Sorry, mate, I forgot.”
Remus smiled a little and waved his hand dismissively. Sirius inserted himself into the moment by shoving the aforementioned present in Remus’s face and chanting “open it” with all the petulance that would be expected from his noble upbringing.
Remus unwrapped the gift slowly while Sirius watched closely, his face turning an impressive shade of red once he caught sight of what was inside.
“Is it a ring?” Lily asked immediately. She later denied having her fingers crossed underneath the package she was unwrapping.
“Isn’t one wedding in one year enough for you, woman?” Sirius asked, his face horrified.
“Yeah, plus, Sirius has been eating way too much holiday ham to fit into a wedding dress.”
Sirius jabbed James in the ribs and attempted to be discrete as he glanced down at his stomach self-consciously.
“James is just jealous because Lily won the fight over who got to wear the dress to theirs,” Remus said soothingly. “I’m sure your growing tummy would look adorable in a wedding dress.”
“I think I hate everyone except for Peter,” Sirius confessed, looking a little surprised to be saying the words himself.
“That’s just because I’m the only person here who would look worse in a dress than you would.”
The other three laughed heartily and Sirius rolled his eyes.
“You people are only nice to me when I’m a dog.”
With that Sirius changed into Padfoot, leaving a silver beard and a stupid red hat on the floor, and jumped up on the couch next to Remus. The werewolf’s fingers curled absently in the thick black fur until they had all finished unwrapping their presents and Padfoot hopped down to tumble on the carpet with Harry.
“Eggnog, and then back to bed,” Lily announced sternly as she rose.
She threw Harry and Padfoot a worried glance as the enormous dog licked Harry’s face and the infant giggled.
“If he eats our son, you will never sleep in a bed again in your life,” she promised James before marching into the kitchen.
An hour later, Remus and Sirius were curled up in bed half naked watching a little tin soldier march himself around the room with great dignity.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Remus said, trying to sound less content than he was. He wasn’t really talking about the gift, but he figured Sirius was smart enough to know that. “Those things are antiques by now. I know how much they go for.”
The particular brand of enchanted soldier had discontinued production when too many of the tiny figures had taken household pets for enemies and declared war. Remus had owned one as a child. From age six it had been like a friend to him-it had been his favorite toy until Sirius had broken it second year. He’d always secretly missed it.
“I didn’t forget that face you made when you found the pieces. I felt so awful, even if I pretended not to at the time. I thought maybe it would cheer you up.”
“I don’t need cheering up,” Remus said, sounding sincere, before giving Sirius a slow, appreciative kiss.
“Really? Because I’d give you anything. Just tell me what you want.”
“I will kill you. I will kill you slowly.”
Remus sorely regretted agreeing to introduce Sirius to muggle holiday traditions. Of all the films to get fixated on, Sirius had chosen Remus’s least favorite holiday movie ever. Remus had almost not included It’s a Wonderful Life in the mix of holiday movies he had put together but had decided to because it was the big classic. This was a decision he was very sure he would be regretting for the rest of his life. Sirius had watched the film no less than seven times in the month of December alone.
“What is it you want, Moony? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Moony.”
“I hate you. I really, really hate you.”
Sirius just cuddled Remus closer and continued to speak the dialogue into Remus’s neck.
“You say ‘then what.’ I tear down the moon so it isn’t around causing anymore trouble. And then you swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see...and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your-“
“If you finish that in any way other than how it goes in the movie, I will be forced to divorce you.”
“But I haven’t even given you the ring yet,” Sirius pointed out logically before continuing his attack. “Am I talking too much?”
“How do you think the movie would have gone if she’d been honest and said ‘God yes, now shut the fuck up.’?”
“You are killing my holiday high, sir.”
“I forgive me for that.”
“I would punish you, if there weren’t a child in the next room.”
“I would let you.”
“In that case: Christmas next year. You, me, our flat, no one else. Yes?”
“It’s a date, baby.”
Sirius leaned over Remus and kissed him one more time.
“Goodnight, Sirius. Thank you for Christmas.”
Sirius lay back and let himself finish the silent poem he’d been slowly working through all evening:
Happy Christmas to all, he thought. It had been a good night.