FIC: Traditions Past, Traditions Present, for rosivan
Title: Traditions Past, Traditions Present
Author: mindabbles
Written for: rosivan
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Remus is Switzerland (i.e. neutral)
Summary: It is difficult being surrounded by idiots.
Any other notes, warnings, etc.: rosivan, thank you so much for drawing a pinch hit! We appreciate it, and here is some utter silliness to say "thank you."
Thank you to elizassecret for the beta.
Sirius and James bent their heads together over the table, each a quill in hand, adding items to the very long list. They'd been at it for ages. It reminded Remus of the one time McGonagall had been insane enough to assign them to write an essay together, each taking a different side of an argument. Remus had never seen either of them spend so much time on any one homework assignment and all they'd had to show for it in the end was a charred bit of parchment.
But school seemed long past and Remus rarely saw them butt heads about anything like this anymore. Certainly, they worked in tandem, like two parts of the same whole whenever they were on jobs for the Order. Yet even from his place on the settee across the room, Remus could feel the intensity of their focus on their task-and on proving the other wrong.
"You are wrong," James said incredulously. "I have never met anyone more wrong in my entire life."
"And you are deluded," Sirius said. He slammed his quill onto the table, nearly upsetting the ink bottle.
"There are ways to do these things, Sirius," James scolded, and it really was alarming how very much he sounded like McGonagall in that moment.
"Yes, half-wit, there are. I'm glad you finally see my point." Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. Remus rolled his eyes, as much at himself for how unbearably attractive he was finding Sirius in that moment, as at the two idiots' infantile behaviour.
"Sirius, can't we ju..." Remus began, but he was stopped mid-word by a look of fury from Sirius.
"If you take his side, you are sleeping right where you are sitting tonight," Sirius growled under his breath.
Remus had slept out here before. The settee was lumpy and the front room was draughty, not to mention the distinct lack of sex that was to be had, so he kept his mouth shut and considered how to embody the spirit of international magical cooperation.
"You're welcome in our spare room anytime, Moony," James said. "No need to be stuck with his lordship here."
Remus rather liked being stuck with his lordship. On the other hand, he tended to agree with James in this particular disagreement, so he made a noncommittal noise that could have meant, "Thank you, I'll take you up on that," or could have meant, "That won't be necessary, Sirius and I are blissfully happy" - depending upon who was listening.
"Prat," Sirius said.
"Ponce," James shot back.
"Plebeian."
"Pretentious."
"What a din," Peter said, as he slouched into the room. He flopped onto the settee next to Remus, rubbing his eyes. He had been out with Caradoc for two days and had collapsed onto Remus and Sirius' bed, trying to get some rest in before the evening. "How long've they been at it?" he asked, yawning hugely.
"Long enough that they're alliterating. Sorry they woke you," Remus said.
"S'okay," Peter sighed. "What are they arguing about?"
"Pete, what day is it?" Remus asked, shaking his head as James said something about bubbly piss and Sirius called James a blithering pissant.
"Ah. Right," Peter said, looking resigned. "You think they'll keep it up all night? It was a disaster last year."
"Here's what we'll do," Remus said, leaning close to Peter so that they could hear over Sirius and James' continued denigrating of each others' intelligence and parentage. "You take that one. I'd get Lily if I were you." He gestured to where James was giving an impassioned lecture on Celtic history and Sirius was waving him off imperiously. "I'll take the other idiot, give them some quiet time away from each other, and I'll see you at about half two to finish the shopping."
"Sounds like a plan," Peter said, trying to look enthusiastic. "But how am I going to get Prongs to drop it? I don't have quite the same tools at my disposal as you do for dealing with Padfoot."
"Just take him home. Lily'll sort him."
Peter grabbed James' arm and propelled him to the Floo. James whirled out of sight, managing to get in the last word as he went.
"Idiot," Peter said. "He said that just after his address. He'll probably end up in Tadcaster. Cheers lads."
"Don't you say a word," Sirius said, as soon as they were alone. He sat heavily on the chair and picked up his discarded quill.
"I haven't said a thing." Remus moved to stand behind Sirius and put a hand on his shoulder.
"No, but you have that look and I know you think he's right," Sirius said, flashing Remus an accusatory glare."
"Sirius," Remus said, rubbing his hand over his eyes to try and soothe the ache that had begun five minutes into Sirius’ and James' debate. He did agree with James. It did not seem possible that a New Year had actually begun unless the mellow heat of good Firewhisky was warming his insides. "Is there any rational reason we can't toast with both Firewhisky and Champagne at midnight?"
"I never claimed to be rational, and I know you are not accusing Prongs of it. Traditions are not rational."
"That's my point," Remus said. He slid into Sirius' lap and wrapped an arm around his neck, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "I plan on getting you pissed and taking advantage of you tonight. I don't particularly care what you are drinking as long as it is not so much that you can't function."
"Oh," Sirius said, flushing.
"Yes, oh," Remus said, moving his lips in whisper soft kisses along Sirius' jaw. "Does that put things in perspective?"
Sirius tilted his head back to encourage the kisses down his neck. "When will Peter, Lily, and that fat bastard be back?"
"Not for hours."
"Care to start a new tradition?"
"Absolutely," Remus answered.
Remus watched appreciatively as Sirius walked down the hallway. As soon as he was out of sight, Remus picked up the quill. He vanished the words, 'New Year's Eve List of Everything' and wrote in 'Needed for Hogmanay.' "That's better," he murmured.
"You coming, Moony?" Sirius called, from the bedroom. "I mean I know you will be soon," he added, chuckling.
"Just now, yeah," Remus called back, slipping the deep green bottle from its hiding place behind the bread box. He tapped it with his wand, feeling it cool beneath his fingers, and grabbed two glasses. They were meant for mead, but Sirius would have to make do.
The Faerie-made champagne had set him back more than he cared to consider. He had purchased that and a bottle of Ogden's Old for James weeks ago-meaning to give them both as gifts just before midnight. But there would be other champagne for toasting the New Year, Peter would see to that, and after all the years of mediating between those two bull-headed wankers, Remus reckoned that he alone deserved to reap the rewards of this particular bottle.
Author: mindabbles
Written for: rosivan
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Remus is Switzerland (i.e. neutral)
Summary: It is difficult being surrounded by idiots.
Any other notes, warnings, etc.: rosivan, thank you so much for drawing a pinch hit! We appreciate it, and here is some utter silliness to say "thank you."
Thank you to elizassecret for the beta.
Sirius and James bent their heads together over the table, each a quill in hand, adding items to the very long list. They'd been at it for ages. It reminded Remus of the one time McGonagall had been insane enough to assign them to write an essay together, each taking a different side of an argument. Remus had never seen either of them spend so much time on any one homework assignment and all they'd had to show for it in the end was a charred bit of parchment.
But school seemed long past and Remus rarely saw them butt heads about anything like this anymore. Certainly, they worked in tandem, like two parts of the same whole whenever they were on jobs for the Order. Yet even from his place on the settee across the room, Remus could feel the intensity of their focus on their task-and on proving the other wrong.
"You are wrong," James said incredulously. "I have never met anyone more wrong in my entire life."
"And you are deluded," Sirius said. He slammed his quill onto the table, nearly upsetting the ink bottle.
"There are ways to do these things, Sirius," James scolded, and it really was alarming how very much he sounded like McGonagall in that moment.
"Yes, half-wit, there are. I'm glad you finally see my point." Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. Remus rolled his eyes, as much at himself for how unbearably attractive he was finding Sirius in that moment, as at the two idiots' infantile behaviour.
"Sirius, can't we ju..." Remus began, but he was stopped mid-word by a look of fury from Sirius.
"If you take his side, you are sleeping right where you are sitting tonight," Sirius growled under his breath.
Remus had slept out here before. The settee was lumpy and the front room was draughty, not to mention the distinct lack of sex that was to be had, so he kept his mouth shut and considered how to embody the spirit of international magical cooperation.
"You're welcome in our spare room anytime, Moony," James said. "No need to be stuck with his lordship here."
Remus rather liked being stuck with his lordship. On the other hand, he tended to agree with James in this particular disagreement, so he made a noncommittal noise that could have meant, "Thank you, I'll take you up on that," or could have meant, "That won't be necessary, Sirius and I are blissfully happy" - depending upon who was listening.
"Prat," Sirius said.
"Ponce," James shot back.
"Plebeian."
"Pretentious."
"What a din," Peter said, as he slouched into the room. He flopped onto the settee next to Remus, rubbing his eyes. He had been out with Caradoc for two days and had collapsed onto Remus and Sirius' bed, trying to get some rest in before the evening. "How long've they been at it?" he asked, yawning hugely.
"Long enough that they're alliterating. Sorry they woke you," Remus said.
"S'okay," Peter sighed. "What are they arguing about?"
"Pete, what day is it?" Remus asked, shaking his head as James said something about bubbly piss and Sirius called James a blithering pissant.
"Ah. Right," Peter said, looking resigned. "You think they'll keep it up all night? It was a disaster last year."
"Here's what we'll do," Remus said, leaning close to Peter so that they could hear over Sirius and James' continued denigrating of each others' intelligence and parentage. "You take that one. I'd get Lily if I were you." He gestured to where James was giving an impassioned lecture on Celtic history and Sirius was waving him off imperiously. "I'll take the other idiot, give them some quiet time away from each other, and I'll see you at about half two to finish the shopping."
"Sounds like a plan," Peter said, trying to look enthusiastic. "But how am I going to get Prongs to drop it? I don't have quite the same tools at my disposal as you do for dealing with Padfoot."
"Just take him home. Lily'll sort him."
Peter grabbed James' arm and propelled him to the Floo. James whirled out of sight, managing to get in the last word as he went.
"Idiot," Peter said. "He said that just after his address. He'll probably end up in Tadcaster. Cheers lads."
"Don't you say a word," Sirius said, as soon as they were alone. He sat heavily on the chair and picked up his discarded quill.
"I haven't said a thing." Remus moved to stand behind Sirius and put a hand on his shoulder.
"No, but you have that look and I know you think he's right," Sirius said, flashing Remus an accusatory glare."
"Sirius," Remus said, rubbing his hand over his eyes to try and soothe the ache that had begun five minutes into Sirius’ and James' debate. He did agree with James. It did not seem possible that a New Year had actually begun unless the mellow heat of good Firewhisky was warming his insides. "Is there any rational reason we can't toast with both Firewhisky and Champagne at midnight?"
"I never claimed to be rational, and I know you are not accusing Prongs of it. Traditions are not rational."
"That's my point," Remus said. He slid into Sirius' lap and wrapped an arm around his neck, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "I plan on getting you pissed and taking advantage of you tonight. I don't particularly care what you are drinking as long as it is not so much that you can't function."
"Oh," Sirius said, flushing.
"Yes, oh," Remus said, moving his lips in whisper soft kisses along Sirius' jaw. "Does that put things in perspective?"
Sirius tilted his head back to encourage the kisses down his neck. "When will Peter, Lily, and that fat bastard be back?"
"Not for hours."
"Care to start a new tradition?"
"Absolutely," Remus answered.
Remus watched appreciatively as Sirius walked down the hallway. As soon as he was out of sight, Remus picked up the quill. He vanished the words, 'New Year's Eve List of Everything' and wrote in 'Needed for Hogmanay.' "That's better," he murmured.
"You coming, Moony?" Sirius called, from the bedroom. "I mean I know you will be soon," he added, chuckling.
"Just now, yeah," Remus called back, slipping the deep green bottle from its hiding place behind the bread box. He tapped it with his wand, feeling it cool beneath his fingers, and grabbed two glasses. They were meant for mead, but Sirius would have to make do.
The Faerie-made champagne had set him back more than he cared to consider. He had purchased that and a bottle of Ogden's Old for James weeks ago-meaning to give them both as gifts just before midnight. But there would be other champagne for toasting the New Year, Peter would see to that, and after all the years of mediating between those two bull-headed wankers, Remus reckoned that he alone deserved to reap the rewards of this particular bottle.