Fic: Almost Dark Again for daphnaea

[paulamcg]

Title: Almost Dark Again
Author: paulamcg
Written for: daphnaea
Beta: My incredible ishonn. Thank you so much again for all your… spring buds!
Rating: PG
Prompt: The prompt I claimed was an Order mission (first war), but perhaps this fulfils a bit better the ambiguous request for ambiguity (bonus: some degree of resolution). Someone also receives an owl and received

Comments

[taigne]

Wow, that's really lovely, all the little details, Sirius' decorating and Remus finally giving in now he's got no other choice. I like the tone, so hopeless at first and yet he's doing more than going through the motions and there is a future if he lets Sirius help him by the end.

"But now the bliss of this warmth turns into a womb, and here his body needs mine."

Love this line, such a gorgeous description.

[paulamcg]

Oh, it’s reassuring to know that the line you quote worked for you. I was afraid it could be too melodramatic. Perhaps this kind of description can work when it’s balanced by the amount of concrete detail in other parts of the little story.

Thank you so much for the praise and for telling me how you felt about Remus’s situation and attitude here. Someone’s said to me that my stories are often about hope in hopeless sort of times.

[brighty18]

"But now the bliss of this warmth turns into a womb, and here his body needs mine. I’ll agree to still live, and as fully as possible."

Oh, that is just beautiful! I love how loving they are to one another - how geniunely caring. Poor Remus, losing his parents, but at least he has the warmth and comfort of Sirius.

This is so very well-written!

[paulamcg]

Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I’m thrilled that you, too, liked the womb phrase, and the statement about agreeing to still live, too. I wasn’t sure that this part would work (and not appear as unnecessarily melodramatic) for readers who don’t know that since his early Hogwarts years my Remus has thought about his transformation back to human as renewal, almost as a rebirth in which he accepts the gift of his body back despite the pain (so that the thought here is something natural for him).

I’m happy to know that you enjoyed the way I showed love and caring here. I might not have chosen to write about anyone’s parents’ deaths in my small gift, had I not made my decision about this part of Remus’s life years ago, when writing the early chapters of my chaptered post-OotP story.

[paulamcg]

Thank you! I’m so happy you could love my description of R/S interaction despite the lack of kisses.

I wanted to keep this gift small, but it seems that while I try my best not to include any unnecessary words, I easily end up dealing with several issues in my shortest pieces of fic, too. It’s good to know you feel I’ve said a lot.

[anothersaturday]

Oh, wow. This is amazing and moving and so elegantly written, and I love how you've shown their sort of concern for and reliance on one another.

Until I got him back now, I hadn’t touched anyone after being summoned to see… something for the very last time. To see the ancient house, the bare apple trees. Not to take anything with me. Hardly a final memory of caressing their cold cheeks.
So sad, but really beautiful!

[paulamcg]

Thank you so much for your heartwarming words of praise. The credit for some final touches of elegance here must be given to my amazing beta ishonn, with whom I polished the text.

You’ve now made me wonder whether the sadness and beauty in some of my stories derives essentially from concern and reliance.

Oh… you quote the paragraph which refers to Remus going to bury his parents, after whose deaths he had no right to inherit anything or even to visit his childhood home, and to his isolation after that. I’m thrilled this part could work so well for someone who doesn’t know more about my Remus’s family. After I suddenly came up with the concrete images to include here, I didn’t make any changes and ishonn didn’t suggest any.

[llpotter]

Oh... oh wow. That was heart-breakingly beautiful. I love how you wove in Remus's parents in such an achingly beautiful and subtle way. Their intimacy is also beautiful. It's a perfect mix of angst and love that suits the time period very well. Excellent!

[paulamcg]

Oh, thank you so much for your beautiful words. After realising that in a fic set in this era my Remus could not possibly ignore his parents’ deaths (which I had written about a long time before in other parts of his story), I felt compelled to include this tragedy as subtly as possible, so it wouldn’t all turn into too blatant angst. I’m relieved that readers don’t seem to think that I’ve added unnecessary hardships to his life. It’s also heartwarming to know that you could enjoy R/S intimacy depicted in my subtle ways.