Fic: James Potter's Dating Advice for arielluvsdraco

[sleeper6]

Title: James Potter's Dating Advice
Author/Artist: sleeper6
Written for: arielluvsdraco
Rating: PG
Prompts: first date night, MWPP, fluff


Peter Pettigrew had written one-third of his Charms essay by the time James Potter walked up to his table in a corner of the Hogwarts library. Peter, James, and Sirius Black found this secluded spot in their second year when they were researching the Animagus spell. It was by a shelf of books that hadn’t been checked out since Dumbledore’s student days.

“Wormtail, are you in?”

Peter looked up. “In what?”

James sighed and sat down in front of his friend. “My monthly House prank this Friday.”

Peter looked confused. “There is no monthly prank.”

James leaned forward and whispered loudly, “But don’t you think there should be? I say we target Ravenclaw this month.”

“Is Sirius in?”

“That tosser. He has detention on Friday. He told me about getting caught passing notes to you and Moony in class.”

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed. “He didn’t. He-” Peter stopped. The only class James didn’t have with his fellow mates was Astronomy. That was the only class where Sirius and Remus Lupin sat alone together. And the only notes Peter remembered were between Remus and Sirius. And Sirius certainly hadn’t gotten caught (that boy was too clever), yet he’d told James he had. And since Peter was the only other person in the world who knew about Remus and Sirius’s new, special relationship, he knew why Sirius had lied. “Oh, right. He has detention. On Friday. This Friday.”

“Yeah, so it’s just you, me, and good ‘ole Remus.”

“Uh, I think Remus might be busy,” Peter said quickly before looking down at his work.

“No, he’s not,” said James just as quickly.

“I heard him say something about . . .” Peter trailed off.

“What?” asked James, no longer whispering.

“Shhh,” scolded Peter before shrugging. “I-I don’t know.”

“Peter, tell me,” demanded James, pushing his glasses farther up on his nose and looking every bit the Head Boy.

Peter mumbled, and James leaned in closer. “What?”

“He has a date, I think,” whispered Peter.

James’s laughter made the two students at the other end of the room glance at Peter and James. Peter slapped James’s arm. “Shut up.”

James eventually stopped laughing. “Are you for real?”

Peter nodded. “He told me. So it’s just going to be you and me, then.”

James stood and shook his head. “Uh-uh. I have to go see about this.”

Peter stood. He didn’t want James to confront Remus because that discussion could lead to the Big Secret. And if Sirius found out Peter had tipped James off, then Peter would pay dearly (as Sirius had casually mentioned to him a few times).

“James, don’t say anything,” begged Peter. “He doesn’t want anybody to know. And he didn’t really tell me; I found out by accident.”

James grinned. “Remus is going on a date. And Remus is our mate. We have a right to know all about it.”

“James, please.”

But James was already leaving. Peter looked on helplessly as James almost skipped out of the library. Before exiting, though, he glanced back at Peter over his shoulder. “Hey, Sirius doesn’t know yet, does he?”

“Shhh” came several whispers from the students around them.

Peter slowly shook his head.

“Ta,” said James as he walked out.

Sirius didn’t know yet, but he would sooner than later, and Peter was going to be in Big Trouble. “Shit,” he muttered as he hurriedly gathered his belongings and scurried out of the library.

Remus dropped his pair of trousers when the dorm room burst open. Picking up the trousers, he saw James strut into the room and make his way to Remus. Remus hung the pair on a hanger and placed it inside the large wooden wardrobe beside his bed.

“Remus.”

“James.”

“Are you in?”

Remus shrugged and shook his head.

“My monthly House prank.”

“You don’t do monthly pranks,” remarked Remus.

James rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m going to start this Friday. You in?”

Remus reddened slightly. “Um, I can’t.”

“Why not? Got a big date?” asked James as he tried not to laugh.

“What? How’d you-” asked a wide-eyed Remus.

“Know? Wormtail told me,” smirked James.

Remus paled and sat on the bed. James stood in front of him. “So, who is she?” inquired James.

Remus exhaled and attempted a smile. “Oh, no one.”

“Is she in Gryffindor?”

“No. Uh, Hufflepuff.”

“First date?”

Remus nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” asked James as he sat next to Remus on the bed. “Remember, we’re supposed to tell each other all our firsts.”

Remus laughed and lightly punched James’s shoulder. “Yeah, so you can win every bet that you make.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault if I act faster than the three of you,” said James. “Besides, I’ve already won the first-date bet.”

Peter cautiously tiptoed into the room, looking nervously from James to Remus. James waved him over. “Wormtail, come here. Help me figure out who the mystery girl is.”

Remus smiled at Peter and arched his eyebrows. Peter sighed with relief and went to his bed. “Leave him alone, James. It’s none of our business.”

“Of course it is. It’s Remus’s first date ever, and I want to make sure she falls in love with him,” commented James.

Peter sat on his bed and looked over at his friends before saying, “If she said yes to him, then she probably already has.”

“Aww, thanks, Pete,” said Remus.

“Wormtail, that’s the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard, and it’s not true. Girls don’t love a guy so easily; you have to work at it and make them see that you are the only guy for them,” rebuked James. “Now, Moony, you need to listen to someone with experience.”

He smirked at Peter, who stuck his tongue out at James.

“The first thing-” began James before he was interrupted by the appearance of his best friend at the door.

“Hello, little boys,” said Sirius as he sauntered into the room and kicked the door shut with his foot. “Are you talking about me?”

“Padfoot! I’m glad you’re here. I’m about to impart some wisdom to our chap here,” said James, patting Remus’s shoulder. “He has a date this Friday.”

Sirius’s grey eyes expanded as he looked at Remus and then at Peter. Remus slightly shook his head and winked at Sirius. Peter shook his own head and said a silent “No” as he looked back at Sirius. Sirius immediately relaxed his eyes and walked over to his bed, which stood mere feet away from Remus’s own. “A date, huh?” asked Sirius curiously.

Remus only smiled. Sirius grinned and looked at James. “And you’re going to give him advice on dating? You, who’s had only two dates so far?”

“That’s two more than you. Or Peter,” James shot back.

Sirius laughed but said nothing. James faced Remus.

“First thing-where are you going?”

“We’re sneaking out to Hogsmeade and-”

“Wait, you’re sneaking out?” James whistled. “Wow, I like this girl already.”

“And we’re going to have dinner at the Three Broomsticks,” continued Remus.

James nodded and said, “Not bad. Now, what are you wearing?”

“Uh, can’t I just wear something like this?” asked Remus, pointing to his long-sleeve teal shirt and beige trousers.

“Sure, of course, if you don’t want to ever see her again,” remarked James.

“What’s wrong with I’m wearing?”

“The shirt’s nice but the color doesn’t do much for you,” said James as he looked Remus up and down. “You should wear something dark, like grey or navy.”

“He should wear neutral colors-light brown or tan,” countered Sirius.

The three boys stared at him.

“I like how those colors look on you, Remus,” said Sirius.

Remus smiled, but James waved his hand as if to disagree. “But it doesn’t matter what you think; it’s what she thinks,” he said.

Peter hid his grin.

“Stick with the dark color. Now, are you giving her flowers or candy?” asked James.

“What, I have to give her something?”

“Yes, Remus. Girls like gifts. It’s showing her you care. So, which is it?”

Remus stammered, “Uh, I-I-I don’t know.”

Sirius sat back. “Flowers, mate. Candy might make her fat.”

Peter snorted.

James nodded. “Yep, get flowers. I’d say . . . daisies?”

“No!” exclaimed Sirius. “Daisies are too plain. Get hi-her-tulips.”

Remus looked at him intriguingly. “Really, tulips?”

Sirius blushed as he responded: “Yeah, tulips are pretty.”

James stood with his hands on his hips. “Okay, now that we’ve established that, let’s go over what else you have to do.”

Remus crossed his arms and waited. Sirius and Peter waited too.

“If you get a booth, don’t worry. But if you sit at a table, make sure you hold the chair out for her before she sits,” explained James.

“Uh, what if she doesn’t like that?” asked Remus.

“Yes, she does,” responded James.

Remus pursed his lips. “I don’t know; this person’s very assertive, James.”

“Moony, trust me. She’ll be expecting it. And it makes her feel like the queen.”

Remus thought about this and looked at Sirius slyly. “Hmm, maybe you’re right. This person does act high and mighty sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah,” commented Peter. James whirled around to look at him.

“Do you know her, Wormtail?” asked James.

Peter quickly shook his head. “No, no, I just think that’s how all, um, girls are.”

“The good ones,” added Sirius, glaring at Peter.

“Compliments, Remus. Always tell her nice stuff; girls love to hear things about themselves. Tell me, what’s her best physical feature?” inquired James. Both Sirius and Peter sat up straighter and stared at Remus.

Remus, turning redder by the second, glanced at the floor. His hands nervously played with each other. “The smile, I guess.”

“The smile?” asked James.

Remus looked up and, unable to meet Sirius’s piercing gaze, focused on James’s eyes. “The smile. It says everything,” said Remus firmly.

Peter glanced at Sirius, whose lips were itching to smile. As soon as Remus’s eyes made contact with Sirius’s, a wide grin broke through.

“Okay, good, tell her that. And the hair, how is it? Girls spend so much time on it that you must say something,” remarked James as he slowly paced back and forth between Remus and Sirius’s beds.

“Oh, I bet the hair’s real nice, isn’t it, Remus?” asked Sirius, running a hand through his dark, short locks.

Remus nodded. “I have to agree with you, Sirius. This person does take good care of that hair.”
The two shared a secret laugh.

James continued pacing. “And all through the dinner, Moony, you have to listen to what she says. Girls need to talk, so you listen. But make sure you pay attention to what she’s saying. You don’t want to be caught daydreaming about food or brooms or Quidditch or-”

“That’s why Lily hexed you, huh?” interrupted Sirius.

James glared at Sirius. “Shut it, Black.”

“You know, James, I do appreciate you telling me all this,” said Remus as he stood, “but I think I can handle it.”

James gently pushed Remus back down onto the bed. “No, that’s what all they say and think, and then they never go out with a girl again. Or at all.”

“James, leave him alone,” said Peter.

James ignored Peter and sat down next to Remus. He pushed his glasses up on his nose. “I just want to help you, Remus.”

“I know that, and I’m grateful, really, but-”

James held a hand in front of Remus’s face. “Wait, let me at least tell you how to get lucky.”

“What?” yelled Peter.

Remus opened his mouth in surprise.

“Potter, you haven’t even done anything with Lily yet!” exclaimed Sirius.

James ignored their comments and sighed exasperatedly. “But I will eventually, and Remus should know the secret to it.”

Sirius crossed his arms. “Let’s have it.”

“Touching.”

“Touching what?” asked Sirius with a smirk on his face.

Peter laughed too loudly.

“Right from the start, hold her hand. Or just touch it slightly, enough so that you both feel it. Like this,” said James as he took Remus’s smaller hand in his and caressed it lightly. After a few long seconds, Sirius stood.

“Okay, okay, I think Remus gets it, James,” declared Sirius. Peter covered his mouth to stifle his laughter. James released Remus’s hand.

“There’s that and then you have to just keep touching her in other subtle ways.”

“That’s rubbish, Prongs. It’s not going to-”

“Hush, Sirius, I want to hear this,” interrupted Remus.

“Me too,” said Peter.

Sirius sat back down. “Fine,” he muttered.

After casting a triumphant look at Sirius, James continued: “Slowly get closer to her so that your legs and shoulders touch, and maybe move her hair back a little so that you touch her face. Tell her her hair’s in the way or something like that. And then just let your fingers slip down the cheek, gently. That always does it. Caress the face and you’re going to get a kiss. Guaranteed.”

“It’s worked for you?” asked Peter.

“I did win the first-kiss bet, didn’t I?” asked James haughtily.

Sirius sighed.

“Don’t worry, Padfoot, it’ll happen for you one day too,” said a grinning James.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him. “Shut it, Potter.”

James laughed and looked back at Remus. “Have you kissed her yet, Remus?”

“Um, yes, uh, a-a few times,” Remus barely managed to say.

Before James could speak, Sirius interjected: “Is she a good kisser, Moony?”

Peter and James stared at Remus. Remus stared at Sirius. Sirius stared at Remus.

“Well, I don’t have anyone to compare her to but . . . yes. I’d say she’s an excellent kisser,” said Remus shyly.

“Excellent,” remarked Sirius as he grinned and nodded elatedly.

James clapped Remus’s back and stood. “You’re going to do all right, Moony. I know you’ll make us proud.”

James retreated to his bed. Peter stared at Remus and Sirius for a while longer and then turned and lay down. Remus and Sirius both sat facing one another on their respective beds.

“Have a good time,” said Sirius with a small wink.

“I will,” affirmed Remus.

Sirius smoothed his long-sleeve grey shirt and picked a few bits of lint off the shoulder. He carefully touched his immaculately styled hair and exhaled. He looked to his right when he heard a twig break on the ground.

“You’re late,” he said.

“I am not,” countered Remus, walking up to Sirius, the dim moonlight illuminating their figures against the Friday night darkness.

“I’m kidding,” said Sirius. He pointed his wand at Remus. “Lumos.”

Remus stood in the light, dressed in a dark brown shirt and tan trousers. His eyes glowed as they looked into Sirius’s.

“Nice,” commented Sirius.

Remus looked at Sirius’s dark clothing and whistled appreciatively. “You’re not bad, either, Black.”

“Thanks. Ready?”

Remus put a hand out. “Wait.” His other hand, hidden behind his back when he arrived, now appeared and held a small sunflower.

Sirius laughed. “That’s not a tulip, Mr. Lupin.”

“I know, but I couldn’t find tulips anywhere, and I tried transforming it but it didn’t take. It was either this or a leaf.”

Sirius took the flower and shook his head. “I don’t know how you kept a straight face through James’s entire speech. I had to think absurdly boring things to keep from laughing.”

“Oh, he was just trying to help,” said Remus.

“Well, I’m glad we’re not girls, and I’m definitely glad I’m not dating James Potter,” remarked Sirius as he and Remus began walking.

“Yeah,” said Remus. They both laughed.

“And I’m glad you didn’t take all that nonsense seriously. Really, who does he think he is, giving advice like that? The Head Boy thing has really gone to his head.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s all nonsense, though,” said Remus quietly.

Sirius stopped walking. “What?”

Remus reached out and pushed a strand of dark hair away from Sirius’s face. “Your hair’s blocking your eyes.”

Sirius opened his mouth in shock, while Remus’s smile slowly increased. Remus’s fingers softly trailed down Sirius’s rosy cheek until Sirius smiled.

“You have a great smile; have I told you that?” asked Remus, still caressing Sirius’s face.

“And you listen very well, you know that?” asked Sirius as he grabbed Remus’s hand and pulled him close.

“Good thing one of us does,” said Remus before Sirius’s lips covered his own.