Day 23 - Fic: Team Place: I do not think of you lying in the wet clay

[rsgamesmods]

Team: Place

Title: I do not think of you lying in the wet clay

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Mentions of canonical character death, depression, mild swearing, PoA alternate POV, present tense, occasional shaky grasp of reality

Word Count: 11,000

Summary: The dead do not reside in graveyards, they live in the places they used to love, and Remus cannot

Comments

[bookgrrrl2006]

i can’t say as I have ever read a more perfect remus’s pov of poa. it was exceedingly on point in every way, not to mention exceedingly well-written as well. from the first fabulous paragraph to the utterly perfect last line, it was a truly great read. and the flipping back and forth in time worked very well. bravo!

and I really loved remus here. he was so thoughtful and nuanced and (perhaps in brilliant contrast to his werewolfiness) so thoroughly and utterly human in all ways. his feelings really resonated with me as a reader and all i could think of is, “yes, this is really remus!” sirius, of course, was great, too, but remus was just the best. there were so many moments - especially on the train and with the weasely twins - that I just wanted this to be the canon everyone gets to read.

this was just wonderful.

[phiso_kun]

ahhh thank you so much! ;_; <3 What an honor of a comment!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and that you enjoyed my Remus - I have always felt very close to him, so it's always been important that I portray him as best as I can.

Ahh thank you so much!!! <3

[luminousgloom]

Astounding work, and painful to read, because you capture it all so very well - the still raw emotions, the memories bleeding into the here and now, Remus' guilt and longing... Acutely observed, beautifully written, couldn't not love it if I tried - and I kept trying (and failing) to pull myself away just because it's so very sad. Wonderful job!

[phiso_kun]

I replied on AO3, but I thought I'd say thanks again! <3

[rissabby]

Years ago one of the biggest events of my fandom life was when I read lj user=picacribet's retelling of POA from Remus' point of view. Reading yours was enjoyable in itself, and also brought me back to that exciting time of finding how big and intense the HP fandom was, and is.

Your version of having Remus haunted or revisited by his marauder friends is quite different. IIRC, it contains more of Peter too -- and of course Remus would be mourning for Peter. I liked him visiting Peter's grave and promising to protect Harry too.

I hope that you don't mind me mentioning the other story when I'm giving feedback on yours. It's just that it was important to me, and really got me wishing for more stories like that, and from Sirius' and Peter's POV too. Your story was like an early Christmas present for me. Thank you.

[phiso_kun]

I don't mind that you mentioned the other story! I was honestly rather convinced this had been done to death, so I'm not surprised, haha. It's also quite nice to see how my telling compares to others - after all, we're all thinking very different things as we write, so it's fascinating to see how we all draw different conclusions from the same source. :) And I'd never read her retelling before, so it was a good thing to look into!

I'm glad you enjoyed this one so much! I hope it lived up to your hopes :) <3

[museinabsentia]

Well, wasn't this just incredible. What a heartbreaking look at what had to be a heartbreaking time. I adore the way memory blended with reality in such a way that it always took a second to catch the switch, much like it must have for Remus. And the bit where Remus went to visit the graves of his friends, just rip my heart out. Go ahead, I wasn't using it. Particularly this:
“Harry’s just like you,” he finally manages, his voice hoarse. “He looks exactly like you, Prongs, it’s almost scary. Except he’s got your eyes, Lily, which makes sense, doesn’t it, considering he sees the world the same way you did.”
That bit about it making sense that Harry has Lily's eyes just did me in.

This was a wonderful read. Lovely job.

[phiso_kun]

I replied on AO3 already, but I'm always happy for an opportunity to thank you again! <3

[bearshorty]

Breathtaking. Such brilliant work. I loved the back and forth between past and present, Remus' memories and feelings so intertwined. I haven't read other retellings of PoA from Remus' point of view, and this was amazing. So many little details I haven't thought about. And I though you captured so well why Remus never said anything to Dumbledore about Sirius being an animagus.  This story will stay with me.

[phiso_kun]

Oh man, I was rereading PoA as I wrote those, and the number of times I was surprised by details I'd missed the first billion times I read that book...I'm glad I could help others notice the little things I'd missed, too! :D And ahh so glad that I managed that, I was so worried that it wasn't clear why Remus wouldn't tell Dumbledore about Sirius's animagus skills...phew!

Thank you so much for your comment! <3