[private]
This whole, stupid letter thing was not my idea, it was
I miss you so much that
To my dearest Othryoneus
I am furious with you. Yes, yes that's how I wish to begin. Utterly, completely, consumingly furious. After everything I told you, after you were the first and only person to believe, how could you have doubted me? Perhaps we might blame it on the curse. Perhaps that is the reason why you went into battle that day, doubting my warnings. But I had come to believe that what we shared together was stronger than the curse. Even Apollo knew it was so. And he, of all people, was the only one to offer me any comfort when you were gone.
But dead is dead. Or so I believed. I had come to accept that it was, truly, the mortal condition. And I was so ready to die myself. Because dying meant the chance to see you again. You know, Apollo offered me immortality. He offered me the chance to live forever and completely free of him too, if that's what I had wanted. I was given the chance at what the warriors only dreamed of. Not only would my name have lived on forever--although it seems to be doing that on its own, but that's another story--but my flesh would have lived on as well. And I turned down the offer. Not because of my hatred for Apollo. I had come to terms with that. It was because of you. Because I would rather have gotten a single glimpse of you beside the Lethe than spend an eternity without ever seeing your face again.
For the first time in my life, I had finally gotten the chance to make my own destiny, to choose my fate and make a bloody decision for myself. But I suppose the Fates are funny. They enjoy taking mortals by surprise. And now I'm here. In a place called Rowan. Where the rules are completely different and I have almost every freedom I ever dreamed I would possess. And I don't have you.
It's funny. I thought that, with this letter, I might finally be able to say goodbye. To try to move on and make the best of my new life here. But now I realize I will never, never be able to say goodbye. The truth, Othryoneus, the complete and unabashed truth, is that you will be with me forever. I feel you all around me. Sometimes, it hurts so damn much that I dream of bashing my head against a rock, just to stop it, to find you in this muddle. But then, I think it's a good thing. Because you're not really gone when I feel that lightning. So congratulations, I suppose. You've achieved exactly what the code called for. Your name will live forever. With me. I hope getting your dream was worth dying for.