[private]
Dear Din
Most gracious goddess
Hi, Din. It's me. Cordy?
So, it's been awhile, Din. What's new?
Can anyone even read this?
Din,
I didn't pray to you too often when I was actually living in Hyrule, so I don't know why I'm doing it now. I don't even know if it counts as prayer if you write it down in a magical journal. And especially in a world far away from the one I belong to, far away from the world where people know who you are. I don't even know if you can hear me all the way out here, let alone see what I write. The priestesses always taught us that the gods were omnipotent and omnipresent, but it seems like that were true, you would be here now. You'd have taken me home by now.
I don't mean to be presumptuous, I'm sure gods have much more important things to worry about than a silly, unimportant courtier.
Oh, I'm doing this all wrong.
I'm still here, Din. Sorry about that long pause, I'm trying to figure out what it is I should tell you. I mean, I know the main thing I want to tell you; the reason I'm writing is that I want to go home. And if you can somehow make it so that the past two months never happened, that would be great. Can you take me back to Miranda, back to the lake with Cherry, before things got ugly and scary, before we started fighting so much, before there were Elves and demons and trees that ate you up and spat you back out?
Sometimes I worry that the tree ate my soul
I'm opening up a tavern tomorrow, Din. So if you could bless that somehow, that would be good. I'd appreciate it. You know, it's funny, I've been so preoccupied with this over the past couple of weeks that I didn't have time to think about much else. I was worried about getting money and a building and food and workers, so that I was always too busy to really think about what's going on in my life. And now the tavern's opening and everything is finished and I--
Maybe that's it. Everything is finished. I've done all my work, and now I'm left alone with my thoughts and I'm amazed by how suddenly I feel depressed. I want to break down and cry and I don't even know what's wrong with me--actually, there's nothing going wrong, nothing new anyway. Not aside from a potentially shady business deal. And many things are going right, actually. I should be too excited to fall asleep tonight. Instead, I can't seem to make myself really focus on the tavern. I can only think of how lonely I am. And I know that's selfish, but--
Din, can I level with you? I miss Basil. I know you give and take away, Din, but I don't understand why you had to take him. I'm never going to understand that. I've put up with all the smegging misfortune that you've thrown my way and I've learned to accept it. Like green eyes. I've even learned to flourish. I smile for everyone, I never say what I'm really thinking, I'm the perfect Hylian. But Basil knew better. He knew I wasn't perfect, and he always loved me anyway. I don't think anyone in my life has ever loved me like that. I don't think anyone else ever could.
And I know I shouldn't complain, because I know I'm not a very lovable person, Din. I understand that I'm too self-absorbed and that I'm not very smart and that I don't always understand what's going on around me and Din knows you know that I'm not a brave person. I could list my faults--more than list, I could alphabetize them or divide them into categories. And that means I have to try even harder to compensate, try even harder to make friends. To make a new family.
But it was happening for me, Din. I had Cherry, I had my siblings. I had a group of friends. And then I wound up here. Far away from the memories of the people who care if I live or die. I'm sorry, that was melodramatic. I sound like I'm speaking lines from an opera. But really, it's how I feel, if you don't mind my being honest. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is ever going to love me again. Sometimes I wonder if anyone even should.
Sometimes I just wish I had died with Basil that night
I'm sorry, I've just been complaining. In prayer, I'm supposed to thank you for your blessings too. So thank you for letting Mikney live, thank you for the food we've been given, for the money for the tavern, thank you for Maurice, thank you for protecting Cherry on her travels, thank you for the strength you give me to get up in the morning and thank you for letting me sleep at night. Thank you for all the blessings I've forgotten to list, too.
Well, I'm probably boring you now, Din. If you can even read this. If you even know I'm alive. If you even exist.
I just don't have anyone else to talk to.
Sincerely,
Affectionately,
Best wishes,
Your humble servant,
Cordelia Estwynde
(But you can call me Cordy, Din. If you want)