Comments | rose_griffes: BSG: a long-winded defense of Dee and her non-cheating dating habits

rose_griffes

BSG: a long-winded defense of Dee and her non-cheating dating habits

Feb 25, 2011 20:10

Instead of doing useful stuff that I should accomplish, I'm typing. This is all the fault of Battlestar Galactica. I have thoughts about Anastasia Dualla, dating and "cheating." I'm going to share them whether you like it or not.

( spoilers through season 2 of BSG )

bsg

Comments 21

nicole_anell February 26 2011, 04:24:36 UTC

I agree with this entire post! (Well, except that I like UBEX and Dee's characterization in it but I understand your feelings on that too.) I may be rather... judgey toward fans who go on and on about Dee "cheating" on Billy or breaking his heart. (She didn't do the former. She may have done the latter but she also had no obligation to see their relationship as seriously as he did.)

And the "you LET me propose to you" always drove me nuts too! It was such a shame that Billy annoyed me so much in his final episode, heh.

rose_griffes February 26 2011, 13:45:02 UTC

It was such a shame that Billy annoyed me so much in his final episode, heh.

Yeah! Because I liked Billy and thought he made a good foil for Roslin.*

I get why people felt invested in the Dee/Billy relationship. It kept Dee away from Lee. They were sweet together and worked as a symbol of hope for humanity. But the idea that Dee has some special obligation to Billy is irritating.

*Which is NOT to say that I didn't appreciate Tory. (I just wanted to say that because so many people who complain about Tory start with "But Billy was better!" and that's annoying.)

nicole_anell February 26 2011, 18:00:13 UTC

Re: ETA, Oh I never thought you were implying that at all! :) I enjoyed the Roslin/Billy dynamic too.

(My sad admission is that I may have turned all "meh" toward Billy because of all the Dee-bashing and Tory-bashing in his honor.)

rose_griffes February 27 2011, 03:38:48 UTC

Yeah. Annoying that I feel a weird resentment about Billy because of the cries of how Tory wasn't as good. Aie.

daybreak777 February 26 2011, 05:00:27 UTC

Not cheating? I dunno. They were dating. For a while. And he proposed. She could have told him she was interested in someone else. So much so that she had a date that very night. If I was dating someone and loved them so much that I proposed, I'd like a "DB, sorry, but I have a date with someone else. Tonight. So I guess no on the proposal." Is it cheating for this person to go on a date? Depends on what we had decided our relationship was. Still it wasn't good form. Not the date. Dee could date if they weren't serious. But once he proposed, a heads-up would have been nice. It didn't feel completely honest. I think they were exclusive, at least Billy thought so. Dee's smart. She knew that and the proposal gave it away. Why didn't she just tell him? Cheating? Maybe not. Honest? No way ( ... )

rose_griffes February 26 2011, 13:42:12 UTC

Billy may have had the expectation that they were exclusive but clearly Dee didn't. If he wanted to be exclusive, he should have said something before. Otherwise who Dee did or didn't date really wasn't his business.

Could Dee have told Billy she was interested in someone else before he proposed? Yeah, sure. Would have been nice. I don't think she was being dishonest by not telling Billy anything, though. Hard to know how much she knew about his feelings; she didn't get to see him every day and they were running for their lives. If I'm going to dole out blame for the misunderstanding, they both get a portion of it.

Should she have told him after he proposed? SHE WASN'T EXPECTING IT. The proposal obviously surprised her, and refusing his proposal was about all she could manage.

Billy knew he was moving fast anyway. And RDM was setting up Billy's death to be as sad as possible.Dee married Lee because she loved him and was optimistic about the future. I do blame Lee for misleading her; proposing at that moment was QUITE ( ... )

daybreak777 February 26 2011, 15:39:38 UTC

If he wanted to be exclusive, he should have said something before. Otherwise who Dee did or didn't date really wasn't his business.
We don't know that he didn't. That's the thing. What if they had been exclusive? Just because we didn't see the conversation, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Could Dee have told Billy she was interested in someone else before he proposed?
I wasn't saying that. I meant it would have been nice after the proposal. Even surprised, she had a date that very night. Even surprised it still doesn't feel as honest as it could be to me.

proposing at that moment was QUITE POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST THING LEE ADAMA EVER DID.
*chuckles* I can not disagree with this. Oh, my poor kids. Poor choices about romance was their forte, unfortunately.

Did she know he had feelings for Kara in the past? Yup. Did she believe he had moved on? Yeah.Then I'm confused. Why were you mad that they showed these very feelings in UBEX? Are you mad at the show for showing Dee's feelings or are you mad at Lee for proposing? I'm confused ( ... )

(The comment has been removed)

Thread 8

(The comment has been removed)

lyssie February 26 2011, 19:50:51 UTC

But the point is, Dee didn't want "better", she wanted (and thought) she deserved Lee.

rose_griffes February 27 2011, 03:21:12 UTC

sometimes it's hard not to take lines like that as hints about what the writers thought
*sigh* Yes. I was talking upthread about the Nice Guy syndrome and how prevalent it is. Possibly some of the writers really did feel like Dee owed him something, and that would make me sad. (Especially since BSG generally did pretty good at avoiding Nice Guy syndrome most of the time.)

scifiaddict86 February 27 2011, 05:49:46 UTC

I don't really see what Dee did as cheating I think she figured it was over when she turned down the proposal and that Billy is just not good at taking hints.

rose_griffes February 27 2011, 18:43:50 UTC

I do feel badly for both of them--Billy and Dee. And I think there was a lack of communication before the proposal, but that still doesn't make Dee's interest in Lee a form of cheating.

Thanks for commenting!

lyssie February 27 2011, 06:52:40 UTC

I do think it would have been nice for her to have mentioned the Lee thing? Because she did seem to have some sort of weird guilt-thing over it during the sexy tension scene on the training mat when Billy showed up.

(and, for context, earlier in season two, during VoD, there was a whole thing where Dee and Billy were sort of at odds, Billy was all "well, um, we can break up, then" and Dee suddenly changed her mind and was all "no, no, kiss me, you fool"--so there is a sort of frustrating feeling that their signals really are crossed a lot)

BUT. BUT.

I'm perfectly ok with her saying nothing, because they're in different places and it makes her human.

Also. Dee didn't let Billy do anything, so he can shove it--even if he was hurting and just realizing that she meant what she'd said.

rose_griffes February 27 2011, 18:46:31 UTC

Yeah, I do think both Dee and Billy took some things for granted that they should have discussed before his proposal/her date with Lee. But... yes, it's very human (for both of them). People make mistakes in dating.

The cheating label, though--that's way too harsh for this situation. (Hence my irritation finally leading to a post.) Bad communication =/= cheating.