Comments | roryevans: Liquid Sin

roryevans

Liquid Sin

Jul 27, 2008 18:40

Title: Liquid Sin
Pairing: Caspian/Edmund
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Prompt: liquid.

( Liquid Sin )

rating:pg, pairing:caspian/edmund, fic:narnia, prompt

Comments 12

penguingeek July 27 2008, 20:16:07 UTC

Wow. I like the comparison to a sea snake because it is just so weird but so perfect, and the whole "hands that touch maps" bit and the contrast between Aslan and Caspian caused by sin. BEAUTIFUL :D

roryevans July 28 2008, 18:51:12 UTC

Sea snake!Caspian is a really strange mental image...I totally agree but I hope it works despite that.

I'm glad you like the "hands that touch maps" thing. It took me a while to get that entire sentence phrased right, but I'm glad I changed it. It was something like compasses instead of maps and then some other random nautical references. Thanks for commenting. :)

penguingeek July 28 2008, 19:04:52 UTC

It does work. At first it struck me as slightly odd but then I SAW it in my mind so it was all good. Also, nautical references ftw when Caspian is at sea (and har har, the Caspian Sea).

P.S. you're welcome! :D

(The comment has been removed)

roryevans July 28 2008, 18:52:46 UTC

Lol. Your comment made me go :D Thanks. <3

zempasuchil July 27 2008, 23:33:05 UTC

the hands that touch maps

that is *really* erotic. I love every bit of this. The last line! Feeling no longer Just! Oh, wow. Awesome.

roryevans July 28 2008, 18:59:13 UTC

Erotic? Really? And I thought I rated this PG...lol. I'm glad you think so. It's really simple, but I liked the way it sounded so it's in there. I'm glad you liked the other things too. Comments like yours make me want to write more. :)

zempasuchil July 29 2008, 00:28:17 UTC

Oh, it's definitely PG still :) you just manage to make it sexy yet clean.

ineptshieldmaid July 27 2008, 23:39:32 UTC

wow. The sea snake metaphor is a piece of inspired brilliance... Lovely.

roryevans July 28 2008, 19:09:03 UTC

Thank you. Totally inspired by the book and the fact that Caspian and sea snake both have an s sound in them. Not particularly brilliant though. *blush* You're too nice.

ineptshieldmaid July 29 2008, 00:05:26 UTC

whoo, assonance! I'm a big fan of assonance...

Meep... de_tensai July 28 2008, 12:51:41 UTC

>he no longer belongs to Aslan, but to Caspian instead.

That just did it for me. Love it!

Re: Meep... roryevans July 28 2008, 19:09:25 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad. :)