A Shocking Reveal! G by attilatehbun
Title: A Shocking Reveal!
Author: attilatehbun
Team: Summer!
Prompts: Squib, Babbling Beverage
Pairing/Genre: Gen
Rating: Complete G
Word Count: 2600+
Warnings: An excessively gregarious seven-year-old?
A/N: I think I may have possibly out-geeked myself here. Thanks go to my darling queenb23more for beta-tastic rockingness, as well as to my good friend caffeine! I wouldn't have made it through without you.
~*~
A Shocking Secret that even Martin Miggs himself may not know! All is revealed in the conclusion to Martin's greatest mystery yet! So don't miss our stunning Next Issue, Muggle Fans! Martin's life may never be the same again!
Ron gapes at the final panel to the utmost limit of his patience. In the splash, Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle himself, stands in an open doorway, his expression on the page mirroring Ron's stunned gaze. He is staring at a letter, but wait, no, it isn't a letter. At least, not the unusual looking ones Martin normally gets, with those, what are they, stumps? Stomps. No, the letter looks an awful lot like a scroll, there's even sealing wax.
What does that mean? Wizard things never show up in this comic. Not ever. Ron knows. Ron has been reading Martin Miggs for almost two years now, so he's basically an expert. Martin's story has always been too cool for boring things like magic. There are mysteries and criminals, and Martin's like an Auror, except smarter and meaner because he can't use magic to solve his crimes. He doesn't have anyone else, doesn't need anyone else. He just has himself and his mysteries.
Ron can't wait to be just like him one day.
~*~
Ron thunders his way down the stairs, comic in hand. Ginny is playing on the landing, right in the middle of where anyone would be walking, so Ron has to kick her toys out of the way to make sure he doesn't trip over them. He hasn't made it two more steps before she starts to cry.
Mum's voice floats out of the kitchen. "Ronnie, don't fight with your sister."
"I wasn't--" he calls.
"Then why is she crying?" says Mum, and her voice is a bit more like a knife this time, but she still sounds distracted so he pushes a little more.
He pulls a face. "But if she would just pick up her stupid toys--"
"Ronald."
And that's enough. The full first name, and he doesn't want to give her the chance to start on the middle, so he turns around and stomps back up the stairs.
"And less like a flock of trolls, please, thank you."
Ron huffs and mutters, "Yes, Mum."
Ginny is clutching a toy to her chest and sniffling still. When he kneels down, she glares at him.
"I'm sorry I kicked your toys, Gin," he says.
Ginny rubs her nose with the back of her hand and continues to glare. Ron sighs and collects up the scattered toys. He dumps them in her lap and sits down next to her, poking at the toy she's still clutching.
"That one's not yours. Who'd you nick that from? Percy?"
Ginny nods and sniffles.
"Good job, Gin. What're you going to do to it? You have to do something."
Ginny laughs wetly and shakes her head.
"Nothing? Well then, why'd you nick it?"
Ginny shakes her head again. But then she looks up at him and grins. Ron realizes it the scary grin one second before she wipes the snotty back of her hand down the front of his shirt.
He jumps to his feet. "Bleurgh. Ginny!"
"You deserved it, you arse," she says.
"No I didn't! I'm going to tell Mum you swore!"
"Fine!" she says, sticking her tongue out at him. "She won't believe you."
With that, Ginny scoops up the rest of her toys and scrambles back into her room. Ron stands there for a moment, plucking at his boogey-covered shirt.
Martin never has to deal with sisters.
~*~
The month drags on for just about ever, and Ron keeps reading and rereading his comic, searching for clues just like Martin would.
~*~
Ron knows pestering his mother hardly ever works, but he tries it anyway.
"Ronnie, dear, I'm a bit busy right now. Can it wait?" Molly smacks a pan onto the stove, but the clanging is nothing compared to her voice. "Fred! George! Get in here this instant!"
Ron tugs on the back of her jumper when she turns away. "But Mum. Mum, the next Martin, it comes out tomorrow. And, Mum, there's a secret. Mum, Martin's life might change forever, I have to know what happens. Please. Will you take me to the shop?"
"Ronnie, not right now. George Weasley!"
"But Mum--"
She kneels and smoothes Ron's hair. "I'm sorry, but Mummy doesn't have time just now. Your brothers--" She pauses and calms her face. "Why don't you ask your father if he can take you?"
Ron sighs. "Okay, Mum."
"There's a dear," she says, kissing him on the cheek. When she turns back to the stove, Ron makes a disgusted face and wipes at his cheek with his sleeve.
"Here's some breakfast for you. With extra bacon."
"Thanks, Mum," he says. "Can I eat out in the garden?"
"Of course, dear. Keep an eye out, you can let me know if the garden needs de-gnoming soon." She is already back to paying attention to the eggs. Ron takes his plate and heads for the door, comic already in hand and ready for its hundredth read.
"And Ronnie, dear?"
"Yeah?" he says, turning, hope lighting in his eyes.
"If you see your brothers, tell them that if they can't explain why Percy isn't his normal color, they're in for a world of trouble."
~*~
"Thanks, Dad," Ron says.
"Don't thank me, thank your brother. He's the one who agreed to take you." Arthur ruffles Ron's hair. "Though I don't know what's so important about this book that it can't wait until we all go to Diagon next week."
Ron tosses one of his dad's plugs in the air. "I've been waiting all summer, Dad."
Arthur smiles, poking at the mess of wires in his new 'toy'. A toaster, that's what they called it. "And you've never been any good at waiting, have you?"
"Daaaad."
Arthur lifts him off the workbench. “Well, whatever it is, you'd better get going. Bill won't wait all day for you. He looked ready to go an hour ago."
"Oh bollocks."
"And watch your language," he calls as Ron hurries out the door.
Just outside the shed, Ron is snatched and pulled behind the tree.
"Lemmego, gerroff."
"Ease up, ickle Ronnikins, or we won't give you your present."
"And you wouldn't want that, would you, not with your comic on the horizon, as it were."
It's the twins. Ron's good humor evaporates.
"What do you two want?" he says, his face already going red and sulky.
"We overheard you talking to Mum," starts Fred.
"And we know you don't have all the money you need for your precious ickle comic books," finishes George.
Ron opens his mouth to speak, but the twins won't be interrupted.
"We want to do you a favor," George says.
Ron is wary; this isn't the first time they've tricked him. "A favor?"
Fred and George look at each other and grin.
"You do something for us," Fred says, "and we'll give you the rest of the Knuts you need."
~*~
"Look! Look Bill, I finally have it! See? I thought they might be sold out, but there were still three copies, so I got mine and I finally get to find out if Martin's life really is going to be changed, though I hope it won't, but it might and maybe even for the better. Oooh, I hope it's a new villain, but I reckon they don't usually give you them when they finish a mystery, but you never know--"
Bill scrubs a hand over his face. "Ron, for Merlin's sake, you're getting worse than Ginny."
Ron huffs and rolls his eyes, somehow not breaking his endless stream of chatter. "No I'm not, Bill, it's just, I can't believe it, I finally have my comic and soon I'll know Martin's secret. What do you think it is? Do you think it's something dangerous? I hope it's not some long-lost relation, those stories are really stupid. I hope it's a scary new villain for Martin to fight--"
Bill grabs him by the straps of his rucksack and tugs him down the street. "Yes, I know, you already said that."
"--or maybe it's a monster, but then Muggles don't really have monsters, do they, Bill? I bet Dad would know. I should ask him when I get home. But I should probably read the comic first, then maybe I won't have to ask him. Should I read the comic first and find out or should I ask Dad first?"
"I think you should be quiet first," Bill mutters.
Ron continues prattling all up and down Diagon Alley, and Bill's patience finally snaps. He whirls on Ron, gripping him by the shoulders.
"Enough, Ron, okay? Enough."
"But Bill," Ron says, waving the comic in Bill's face, "I finally have my comic and I'm just so excited I can't wait to read it and-- mmphf."
"Stop. Talking." Bill covers Ron's mouth with his hand. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, which he releases in a rush when he realizes that Ron's mouth is moving behind his hand.
"For the love of-- I can't believe this. You're still going on."
"Mmmphf mrn mmnnam."
Bill groans and grabs hold of Ron's rucksack. He drags him backwards through Diagon Alley until they reach Florean Fortescue's. Bill plunks Ron down in a chair and covers his jabbering mouth once again.
Bill's voice is strained. "This is what we're going to do, Ron. I am going to buy you a sundae. You are going to sit here, and read your comic, and eat the sundae, assuming that you can stop talking long enough to swallow. I am going to go finish getting the rest of my things. You are going to be here when I get back, understood? Do not even consider disagreeing with me, or I will give Ginny your broom in the Quidditch matches and you'll have to watch from the sidelines. For the next three years."
Ron nods violently, the muffled noises behind Bill's hand becoming more emphatic.
"Good," Bill says. "Stay. Read. I'll be back."
Ron manages to be silent for nearly thirty seconds as Bill leaves, but when Mr. Fortescue comes by to take Ron's order, he barely escapes with both ears intact. With the ice cream on the way, Ron finally opens his comic, still chattering away to himself.
~*~
"A Squib? Martin can't be a Squib! He's a Muggle! That's the whole point of the comic!"
Mr. Fortescue is back, clearing the remains of Ron's ice cream.
"You know, I used to read Mar--" he starts, but Ron won't let him get a word in.
"Our world never interferes with Martin's world. Not ever. It is just not right at all, I can't believe they would do something like this to him. The book is about Muggles, if I wanted to read about wizards I'd read a different book, but I don't because wizards are boring and Martin Miggs is cool. At least he used to be before now and I don't even know what they're going to do if he's a Squib. What’s the point of him being a Squib, there is no point, this had better be a dream, but then how could it be a dream because Martin wouldn't know anything about wizards or Squibs or anything so what are they trying to pull here and--"
Mr. Fortescue has spotted Bill and waves him over. "Oh look, son, here's your brother come to fetch you. I'll just be off then."
Bill is barely in earshot before Ron is unleashing a torrent of words at him.
"Bill! They got it wrong. They said Martin's a Squib and that just can't be, it cannot be. The book is called Martin Miggs, The Mad Muggle not Squib. I think I might have bought the wrong book, or maybe they printed it wrong, because I just don't understand how this could happen. It is all wrong, Bill. Wrong, wrong, wrong."
Bill narrows his eyes. "Ron, have you been talking this whole time? Are-are you feeling all right? I know you're excited but--"
"I'm not excited, Bill, I'm angry, they got this issue all wrong. I can't believe I waited all summer for this, they can't do this. They can't." Ron starts pulling at Bill's sleeve. "We have to go back to the shop."
Bill grabs him back and covers his mouth again. This time he is less surprised and more concerned that Ron is still trying to talk behind his hand. "Actually, Ron, I think we should go home. I think we need to talk to Mum about this."
Ron pulls Bill's hand down and keeps talking. "Can we talk to Mum? Can she fix this? I bet we could get her to make them change it back, she can make anyone do anything when she gets angry, she's right scary."
Bill doesn't even listen. He simply snatches Ron's hand and drags him to the nearest Floo. He hesitates for a moment, but it's clear that Ron is not going to be able to be quiet long enough to Floo home properly, so Bill uses the calling powder instead of the traveling powder and tries to find their mother.
"Mum? I think I need some help here," he says once he's got her in front of the fire.
"What is it, dear? Everything all right with you boys?"
Bill bites his lip. "Actually, no. I don't think so. Ron has been talking since we got here, and I, well, I don't think he is actually able to stop."
Molly laughs and flaps a hand. "Oh, don't be silly. He's just excited about that new comic of his."
"Yeah, that's what I thought too," Bill says, "but I'm not so sure anymore. Ron doesn't usually go on like this at all, much less for two hours non-stop. I don't think this is excitement. I think it's a Babbling Beverage. Can you Floo through?"
Molly immediately sobers. "He can't stop long enough to Floo?"
Bill grimaces. "I don't think so, and I don't particularly want him to try and end up in Albania."
Molly removes her apron. "I'll be right there."
She whooshes through the fireplace and has Ron in front of her in an instant.
"Mum, Mum!" he says, "My comic, they got it all wrong, they--"
"Ronnie, dear. Please listen to me, yes?" She searches his face, but he's still going. "Can you stop talking for me? Can you actually stop?"
"I don't think so, Mum, but I don't care. They really messed up, Mum, they made Martin a Squib. How can they do that?"
Bill meets his mother's eyes and raises his eyebrows. "See?"
Molly takes Ron's face in her hands. "Ronnie? Ronnie. Listen very carefully. Did you drink anything unusual today? Anything at all?"
"Well, yeah, of course I did. Fred and George wouldn't give me the money for my book if I didn't drink the pumpkin juice, and you know, that pumpkin juice did taste a little funny, but I really needed the money for the comic. And now I wish I hadn't done it because, Mummy, the book is just wrong, and it was just a waste--"
Molly overrides him. "Bill, you Floo home and get your father. Tell him to find Fred and George and lock them in their room if he has to. I need to take Ron to St. Mungo's straight away. He needs an antidote. It looks like a Babbling Beverage to me, but who can tell with those two? Tell your father I'll Floo as soon as I know more."
Ron pipes up. "All I know is that this Squib business had better be made right next month."
~*~fin~*~
Author: attilatehbun
Team: Summer!
Prompts: Squib, Babbling Beverage
Pairing/Genre: Gen
Rating: Complete G
Word Count: 2600+
Warnings: An excessively gregarious seven-year-old?
A/N: I think I may have possibly out-geeked myself here. Thanks go to my darling queenb23more for beta-tastic rockingness, as well as to my good friend caffeine! I wouldn't have made it through without you.
~*~
A Shocking Secret that even Martin Miggs himself may not know! All is revealed in the conclusion to Martin's greatest mystery yet! So don't miss our stunning Next Issue, Muggle Fans! Martin's life may never be the same again!
Ron gapes at the final panel to the utmost limit of his patience. In the splash, Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle himself, stands in an open doorway, his expression on the page mirroring Ron's stunned gaze. He is staring at a letter, but wait, no, it isn't a letter. At least, not the unusual looking ones Martin normally gets, with those, what are they, stumps? Stomps. No, the letter looks an awful lot like a scroll, there's even sealing wax.
What does that mean? Wizard things never show up in this comic. Not ever. Ron knows. Ron has been reading Martin Miggs for almost two years now, so he's basically an expert. Martin's story has always been too cool for boring things like magic. There are mysteries and criminals, and Martin's like an Auror, except smarter and meaner because he can't use magic to solve his crimes. He doesn't have anyone else, doesn't need anyone else. He just has himself and his mysteries.
Ron can't wait to be just like him one day.
~*~
Ron thunders his way down the stairs, comic in hand. Ginny is playing on the landing, right in the middle of where anyone would be walking, so Ron has to kick her toys out of the way to make sure he doesn't trip over them. He hasn't made it two more steps before she starts to cry.
Mum's voice floats out of the kitchen. "Ronnie, don't fight with your sister."
"I wasn't--" he calls.
"Then why is she crying?" says Mum, and her voice is a bit more like a knife this time, but she still sounds distracted so he pushes a little more.
He pulls a face. "But if she would just pick up her stupid toys--"
"Ronald."
And that's enough. The full first name, and he doesn't want to give her the chance to start on the middle, so he turns around and stomps back up the stairs.
"And less like a flock of trolls, please, thank you."
Ron huffs and mutters, "Yes, Mum."
Ginny is clutching a toy to her chest and sniffling still. When he kneels down, she glares at him.
"I'm sorry I kicked your toys, Gin," he says.
Ginny rubs her nose with the back of her hand and continues to glare. Ron sighs and collects up the scattered toys. He dumps them in her lap and sits down next to her, poking at the toy she's still clutching.
"That one's not yours. Who'd you nick that from? Percy?"
Ginny nods and sniffles.
"Good job, Gin. What're you going to do to it? You have to do something."
Ginny laughs wetly and shakes her head.
"Nothing? Well then, why'd you nick it?"
Ginny shakes her head again. But then she looks up at him and grins. Ron realizes it the scary grin one second before she wipes the snotty back of her hand down the front of his shirt.
He jumps to his feet. "Bleurgh. Ginny!"
"You deserved it, you arse," she says.
"No I didn't! I'm going to tell Mum you swore!"
"Fine!" she says, sticking her tongue out at him. "She won't believe you."
With that, Ginny scoops up the rest of her toys and scrambles back into her room. Ron stands there for a moment, plucking at his boogey-covered shirt.
Martin never has to deal with sisters.
~*~
The month drags on for just about ever, and Ron keeps reading and rereading his comic, searching for clues just like Martin would.
~*~
Ron knows pestering his mother hardly ever works, but he tries it anyway.
"Ronnie, dear, I'm a bit busy right now. Can it wait?" Molly smacks a pan onto the stove, but the clanging is nothing compared to her voice. "Fred! George! Get in here this instant!"
Ron tugs on the back of her jumper when she turns away. "But Mum. Mum, the next Martin, it comes out tomorrow. And, Mum, there's a secret. Mum, Martin's life might change forever, I have to know what happens. Please. Will you take me to the shop?"
"Ronnie, not right now. George Weasley!"
"But Mum--"
She kneels and smoothes Ron's hair. "I'm sorry, but Mummy doesn't have time just now. Your brothers--" She pauses and calms her face. "Why don't you ask your father if he can take you?"
Ron sighs. "Okay, Mum."
"There's a dear," she says, kissing him on the cheek. When she turns back to the stove, Ron makes a disgusted face and wipes at his cheek with his sleeve.
"Here's some breakfast for you. With extra bacon."
"Thanks, Mum," he says. "Can I eat out in the garden?"
"Of course, dear. Keep an eye out, you can let me know if the garden needs de-gnoming soon." She is already back to paying attention to the eggs. Ron takes his plate and heads for the door, comic already in hand and ready for its hundredth read.
"And Ronnie, dear?"
"Yeah?" he says, turning, hope lighting in his eyes.
"If you see your brothers, tell them that if they can't explain why Percy isn't his normal color, they're in for a world of trouble."
~*~
"Thanks, Dad," Ron says.
"Don't thank me, thank your brother. He's the one who agreed to take you." Arthur ruffles Ron's hair. "Though I don't know what's so important about this book that it can't wait until we all go to Diagon next week."
Ron tosses one of his dad's plugs in the air. "I've been waiting all summer, Dad."
Arthur smiles, poking at the mess of wires in his new 'toy'. A toaster, that's what they called it. "And you've never been any good at waiting, have you?"
"Daaaad."
Arthur lifts him off the workbench. “Well, whatever it is, you'd better get going. Bill won't wait all day for you. He looked ready to go an hour ago."
"Oh bollocks."
"And watch your language," he calls as Ron hurries out the door.
Just outside the shed, Ron is snatched and pulled behind the tree.
"Lemmego, gerroff."
"Ease up, ickle Ronnikins, or we won't give you your present."
"And you wouldn't want that, would you, not with your comic on the horizon, as it were."
It's the twins. Ron's good humor evaporates.
"What do you two want?" he says, his face already going red and sulky.
"We overheard you talking to Mum," starts Fred.
"And we know you don't have all the money you need for your precious ickle comic books," finishes George.
Ron opens his mouth to speak, but the twins won't be interrupted.
"We want to do you a favor," George says.
Ron is wary; this isn't the first time they've tricked him. "A favor?"
Fred and George look at each other and grin.
"You do something for us," Fred says, "and we'll give you the rest of the Knuts you need."
~*~
"Look! Look Bill, I finally have it! See? I thought they might be sold out, but there were still three copies, so I got mine and I finally get to find out if Martin's life really is going to be changed, though I hope it won't, but it might and maybe even for the better. Oooh, I hope it's a new villain, but I reckon they don't usually give you them when they finish a mystery, but you never know--"
Bill scrubs a hand over his face. "Ron, for Merlin's sake, you're getting worse than Ginny."
Ron huffs and rolls his eyes, somehow not breaking his endless stream of chatter. "No I'm not, Bill, it's just, I can't believe it, I finally have my comic and soon I'll know Martin's secret. What do you think it is? Do you think it's something dangerous? I hope it's not some long-lost relation, those stories are really stupid. I hope it's a scary new villain for Martin to fight--"
Bill grabs him by the straps of his rucksack and tugs him down the street. "Yes, I know, you already said that."
"--or maybe it's a monster, but then Muggles don't really have monsters, do they, Bill? I bet Dad would know. I should ask him when I get home. But I should probably read the comic first, then maybe I won't have to ask him. Should I read the comic first and find out or should I ask Dad first?"
"I think you should be quiet first," Bill mutters.
Ron continues prattling all up and down Diagon Alley, and Bill's patience finally snaps. He whirls on Ron, gripping him by the shoulders.
"Enough, Ron, okay? Enough."
"But Bill," Ron says, waving the comic in Bill's face, "I finally have my comic and I'm just so excited I can't wait to read it and-- mmphf."
"Stop. Talking." Bill covers Ron's mouth with his hand. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, which he releases in a rush when he realizes that Ron's mouth is moving behind his hand.
"For the love of-- I can't believe this. You're still going on."
"Mmmphf mrn mmnnam."
Bill groans and grabs hold of Ron's rucksack. He drags him backwards through Diagon Alley until they reach Florean Fortescue's. Bill plunks Ron down in a chair and covers his jabbering mouth once again.
Bill's voice is strained. "This is what we're going to do, Ron. I am going to buy you a sundae. You are going to sit here, and read your comic, and eat the sundae, assuming that you can stop talking long enough to swallow. I am going to go finish getting the rest of my things. You are going to be here when I get back, understood? Do not even consider disagreeing with me, or I will give Ginny your broom in the Quidditch matches and you'll have to watch from the sidelines. For the next three years."
Ron nods violently, the muffled noises behind Bill's hand becoming more emphatic.
"Good," Bill says. "Stay. Read. I'll be back."
Ron manages to be silent for nearly thirty seconds as Bill leaves, but when Mr. Fortescue comes by to take Ron's order, he barely escapes with both ears intact. With the ice cream on the way, Ron finally opens his comic, still chattering away to himself.
~*~
"A Squib? Martin can't be a Squib! He's a Muggle! That's the whole point of the comic!"
Mr. Fortescue is back, clearing the remains of Ron's ice cream.
"You know, I used to read Mar--" he starts, but Ron won't let him get a word in.
"Our world never interferes with Martin's world. Not ever. It is just not right at all, I can't believe they would do something like this to him. The book is about Muggles, if I wanted to read about wizards I'd read a different book, but I don't because wizards are boring and Martin Miggs is cool. At least he used to be before now and I don't even know what they're going to do if he's a Squib. What’s the point of him being a Squib, there is no point, this had better be a dream, but then how could it be a dream because Martin wouldn't know anything about wizards or Squibs or anything so what are they trying to pull here and--"
Mr. Fortescue has spotted Bill and waves him over. "Oh look, son, here's your brother come to fetch you. I'll just be off then."
Bill is barely in earshot before Ron is unleashing a torrent of words at him.
"Bill! They got it wrong. They said Martin's a Squib and that just can't be, it cannot be. The book is called Martin Miggs, The Mad Muggle not Squib. I think I might have bought the wrong book, or maybe they printed it wrong, because I just don't understand how this could happen. It is all wrong, Bill. Wrong, wrong, wrong."
Bill narrows his eyes. "Ron, have you been talking this whole time? Are-are you feeling all right? I know you're excited but--"
"I'm not excited, Bill, I'm angry, they got this issue all wrong. I can't believe I waited all summer for this, they can't do this. They can't." Ron starts pulling at Bill's sleeve. "We have to go back to the shop."
Bill grabs him back and covers his mouth again. This time he is less surprised and more concerned that Ron is still trying to talk behind his hand. "Actually, Ron, I think we should go home. I think we need to talk to Mum about this."
Ron pulls Bill's hand down and keeps talking. "Can we talk to Mum? Can she fix this? I bet we could get her to make them change it back, she can make anyone do anything when she gets angry, she's right scary."
Bill doesn't even listen. He simply snatches Ron's hand and drags him to the nearest Floo. He hesitates for a moment, but it's clear that Ron is not going to be able to be quiet long enough to Floo home properly, so Bill uses the calling powder instead of the traveling powder and tries to find their mother.
"Mum? I think I need some help here," he says once he's got her in front of the fire.
"What is it, dear? Everything all right with you boys?"
Bill bites his lip. "Actually, no. I don't think so. Ron has been talking since we got here, and I, well, I don't think he is actually able to stop."
Molly laughs and flaps a hand. "Oh, don't be silly. He's just excited about that new comic of his."
"Yeah, that's what I thought too," Bill says, "but I'm not so sure anymore. Ron doesn't usually go on like this at all, much less for two hours non-stop. I don't think this is excitement. I think it's a Babbling Beverage. Can you Floo through?"
Molly immediately sobers. "He can't stop long enough to Floo?"
Bill grimaces. "I don't think so, and I don't particularly want him to try and end up in Albania."
Molly removes her apron. "I'll be right there."
She whooshes through the fireplace and has Ron in front of her in an instant.
"Mum, Mum!" he says, "My comic, they got it all wrong, they--"
"Ronnie, dear. Please listen to me, yes?" She searches his face, but he's still going. "Can you stop talking for me? Can you actually stop?"
"I don't think so, Mum, but I don't care. They really messed up, Mum, they made Martin a Squib. How can they do that?"
Bill meets his mother's eyes and raises his eyebrows. "See?"
Molly takes Ron's face in her hands. "Ronnie? Ronnie. Listen very carefully. Did you drink anything unusual today? Anything at all?"
"Well, yeah, of course I did. Fred and George wouldn't give me the money for my book if I didn't drink the pumpkin juice, and you know, that pumpkin juice did taste a little funny, but I really needed the money for the comic. And now I wish I hadn't done it because, Mummy, the book is just wrong, and it was just a waste--"
Molly overrides him. "Bill, you Floo home and get your father. Tell him to find Fred and George and lock them in their room if he has to. I need to take Ron to St. Mungo's straight away. He needs an antidote. It looks like a Babbling Beverage to me, but who can tell with those two? Tell your father I'll Floo as soon as I know more."
Ron pipes up. "All I know is that this Squib business had better be made right next month."
~*~fin~*~