Comments | ronsard: [fic] two vignettes; naruto; kh;

ronsard

[fic] two vignettes; naruto; kh;

Feb 10, 2010 17:10

I'm terrible at drabbles. I think it's because I obsess over the word count. If this clashes with canon, I apologize (but I don't really care).

Title: If Not For This Damn Rain
Fandom: Naruto
Words: 100
Characters: Kisame, Itachi

( Dull roots with spring rain. )

drabble, gen, fic, kh, naruto, five minutes in google docs

Comments 32

empath_eia February 10 2010, 22:14:26 UTC

I am distracted by your Wasteland-esque title and the fact that you're listening to Blind Pilot. ♥

Am laughing at Kisame being annoyed at the rain. He's so... utilitarian about it. "Welp, I'd burn ya, but it's raining. So I guess you're wormfood. Sorry."

ronsard February 10 2010, 22:15:27 UTC

SHUT UP HE IS GRIEVING.

Well, he will be in my next story, but that's neither here nor there.

Blind Pilot is ♥ Latest Naruto chapter, not so much.

(The comment has been removed)

ronsard February 10 2010, 23:22:58 UTC

Thank you. I actually have been told in the past that my strength is with imagery, but my writing has been veering away from that vein as of late. That short was actually written about two and a half years ago as part of a longer story that I never finished.

Ahaha, Riku and his hair.

Well, 100 words according to GDocs. I'm too lazy to actually check. I almost never write drabbles, but when I do, I'm obsessed with trying to pare them down to the right length. I guess I just like to follow the rules.

I guess Itachi dies in the series?

Oh yeah. And how.

transient_words February 11 2010, 00:10:03 UTC

I only read the Naruto drabble, for now (I'm fairly certain that your KH drabble is gorgeous, but as I don't know the characters that well, I doubt my input would be of much value :/).

I love, love this part:

Sailors get sea burials. A warrior's sword is his gravestone. For this, fire would have been best, if not for this damn rain. .

IDK why but provides me with those beautiful images - and maybe, (which is very morbid to admit) those kind of burials are my favourite. And for some odd reason, this sentence made me think of Vinland Saga (odd and very random, I assure you). Anyhow, very beautiful <3

And I like how you gave Itachi some conclusion with this - and I'm glad that it was Kisame who did the burying. The sentence "only the best for you ... until I get back" is very sad if you think about what happens in canon :/

Anyhow, don't say you suck at drabbles - I thought this one was very emotive and gorgeous in how it managed to say so much, in spite of its being brief.

ronsard February 11 2010, 00:21:04 UTC

I thought those images would be appropriate for Kisame to think of in that moment, him being both a swordsman and a sailor a shinobi from the Hidden Mist Village. And it's not just you! I'm reminded of VS too, now that you mention it. Or at least of Norse Mythology, Siegfried and Brunnhilde, a sword and the funeral pyre. I don't know, my mind is weird.

It occurred to me that we never learned what happened to Itachi's corpse (or if we did, I missed it), and if you really think about it, who would bury him but his partner?

I'm partial to those stories where people say things like, "We'll do this when I get back," all the while we know they never will. Partial, but saddened by.

Thanks for reading! Are you done with exams?

transient_words February 11 2010, 00:30:27 UTC

If your mind is weird, then I think it's a very awesome sort of weird <3. Talking about VS and Norse Mythology makes me want to go and read more.

I like the thought of that. It's odd because I was wondering about that too. I like your idea way more than mine (which was that Zetsu had taken care of it or something along those lines :/).

I guess I'm too.

Oh no. I still have two more next week - and I'm currently driving myself crazy over whether I passed the one I had this week. This year has - so far - been an entire wave of exams :/

ronsard February 11 2010, 00:33:01 UTC

Doesn't Zetsu, um, eat people? Oh God, now I can just imagine someone writing that fic D:

Good luck with those two, then. Just think, after that you'll be done, and then it's back to awesome Viking manga and possibly ficcing!

sira February 11 2010, 00:11:17 UTC

These are both beautiful, omg. ♥

I especially love scissor-wielding!Kairi, pfffft. Have never really seen that before, but it would so happen at some stage, especially considering they all ARE deathly afraid of haircuts. Silly kids.

ronsard February 11 2010, 00:23:24 UTC

Haha, everyone is like, "Oh no, Riku's hair! Sora, stop her!" But seriously, some mane-control is definitely needed in that game.

metafictionally February 11 2010, 01:00:11 UTC

I read The Seagull Children a while back but can't remember when or where, sob. Maybe I just imagined it and am having a major deja vu case right now! :D

Either way, these are both awesome. I need to get caught up on Naruto if for no other reason than I'm in too deep to quit now.

ronsard February 11 2010, 01:02:48 UTC

On my FFN account? I got a review from you and everything.

Yeah, I told myself that I could quit anytime I wanted, but that was obviously not so ;___;

metafictionally February 11 2010, 01:06:22 UTC

Oh XD THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE IT, YEAH. I prefer reading on LJ to reading on FFN, so I always try to leave my comments here... but apparently not so with things that are only posted in one place. /bright

It's kind of one of those love/hate relationships. "I could quit anytime I want... I just don't want to!"