"The Replacement Suspects", Part 3/?

[rogerstening]

"The Replacement Suspects, Part 3"

A Vorkosigan FanFic
By Roger Stenning

Based on the characters, situations, and universe created,
set, and owned by Lois McMaster Bujold.

The contents of this story are for personal, non-commercial use only.
Any use of Lois McMaster Bujold's copyrighted material or trademarks
anywhere in this story should not be viewed as

Comments

[lilyoftheval5]

I freaking LOVED this!
Go Miles!!!!

[rogerstening]

The master of Forward Momentum wasn't stopped by a needle grenade, so why should he be stopped by a diplomatic flunky? ;-)

*veg*

Anyhow, glad you enjoyed it :-) More to come when I can find the time to write it!

[lilyoftheval5]

Tell me we get a Betan point of view at one point.
Lie if you have to...

[rogerstening]

heh, it *could* happen sooner than you think ;-)

[lilyoftheval5]

*_*

[rogerstening]

I'm not about to spoil things. Let me just say this: Someone on this 'ere place recently posted a short drabble or two on how some folk relate to others, and then I'll vanish off to try to write the next chapter...!

Evil laughter echoed off into the distance, as the fanfic author swept up his stage-issue black felt cloak (and boy, are those damn things heavy), and departed, stage left - suddenly and unexpectedly interrupted by a thud, the sound of a wooden table or chair being dragged briefly out of place along the floor, a crash and sounds of glass skittering over the marble floor, coupled with the cymbal-like sound of a tray hitting the floor at the same time. All the while, the interruption was accompanied by some really inventive cursing, and a lot of sotto voice comments about not being able to get the damned domestic staff anymore....!

[therhoda]

hehe, i like this i was like wait what next, so i will be lurking over ->

cant wait for more

[rogerstening]

Glad you enjoyed it :-) More sooner than later, I hope :-)

[dswdiane]

"The shuttle, piloted by a Betan of definite male characteristics (obviously in deference to the Barrayarans present), dropped into a re-entry de-orbit that was close to a vertical drop as Miles had seen from any Dendarii assault shuttle launching to a drop zone, and mere minutes later, they were dropping down a silo into the groundside aerospaceport a couple of kilometres from the capital, New'shton, where the Barrayaran Embassy was located."

I think you meant to type "was (as) close to. . ."

Do you realize the sentence is about 70 words long?

It's a nicely plotted story thus far, but a bit hard to read.

Do you use a beta?

[rogerstening]

I did, and they missed that, sorry! These things happen. I've gone and corrected the missing 'as' - cheers for that :-)

As to long sentences; yeah, I know, I know. It's a perennial problem for me, I tend to be well verbose in my writing, and paring it down to manageable bites is... er... difficult.

I'll try to do better next time ;-) On the grammar side, I mean :p) The plot side is working it's way through, and is being fleshed out slowly :-)

[gwynnep]

I rather like long sentences. In the above chapter they work well to set the tone of the descriptive passages, interspersed with shorter sentences that indicate the more emotionally intense sections.

You're doing great, plot-wise and grammatically.

Now write faster!

[rogerstening]

Cool, and thanks :-)

And I'm writing as fast as I can, rest assured :-D

[gwynnep]

Ohhhhh that was SUPERB! I love Miles vs the diplomats, and his way of establishing a pecking order. (Shades of Cordelia kicking the planetary president in the ....er... medal ceremony?)

Lines I especially love:"...I'm not a diplomat. I'm a bloody nightmare in human form..." (ohhh so very true!)

...and....

“Is he always like this?”

“Nope. You got him on a mild day. Takamoto got a light toasting, compared to some folks.”

Ok, now go and write more. Fast.

...er....please?

[rogerstening]

Heh, "kicking (...) in the ....er... medal ceremony?" brings a line from NCIS:LA to mind - Kensi Blye, one of Our Heroes (actually a heroine, but what the heck) "Kicked him right in the non des plumes!" Gawd, I was laughing so hard my sides ached for a solid hour when that line was uttered! *veg* Little things, little minds (to coin a phrase, lol)

Glad you enjoyed it, anyhow :-)

And I'm writing as fast as I can, rest assured :-D

[rogerstening]

Just caught this - "Miles versus the Diplomats"... hmm... swap 'Miles' with 'Chuck' and I think I'll be getting in a LOT of cross-genre trouble *cackles insanely right off the stage THUD*

;-)