Doctor Who The Eleventh Hour transcript part 1.
Okay, well... I posted a query yesterday asking if anyone wanted episode transcripts, and I guess the idea is quite popular, so I've volunteered myself.
I'm not gonna ask that you credit every time you look up a quote or something, but I would like it if maybe you mentioned them to friends, to anyone who needs a quote quickly but doesn't want to spend ages rewatching the episode. Comments are great, they let me know that you really want me to continue posting this stuff, and I'm not doing it just for myself.
Disclaimer, I suppose. I am not affiliated with the Doctor Who franchise or the BBC in general. The characters and lines within belong to the BBC, or their respective owners. I own nothing of this post but the occasional random observation I've chucked in. This transcript is for entertainment purposes only.
It may take a while after each episode for episode transcripts to appear, because I'm particularly busy these days as it's nearing exam time, and I have college. I'll try to get them out as fast as possible, though.
Illustrated by screencaptures, and I thank you heartily, from The Medusa Cascade.
The Eleventh Hour;
Matt Smith as the New Doctor
Karen Gillan as Amy Pond
YA Young Amelia
TD The Doctor
TA The Atraxi
RW Rory Williams
DR Doctor Ramsden
CP1/2 Coma Patient one or two
PW Policewoman
AP Amy Pond
MA Mrs Angelo
JA Jeff Angelo
MH Mr Henderson
UV Unidentified Voice
PM Patrick Moore
(Opening shot - drifting lightly in outer space, the camera turns, to face the glorious blue and green planet we all call home. It begins to zoom in closer, then brushes through a cloudy level to hover above London at night.
Suddenly into shot flies the TARDIS, obviously not looking its best. Bouncing around as explosions rock it, it flies over the Millenium Dome.
Inside: the central console explodes, sparks flying everywhere though most of it's already on fire. Round to the open doors: and the new Doctor is hanging outside, screwdriver in his mouth, barely clinging on by his fingertips.
He hauls himself halfway up, turns to glance around as Big Ben starts chiming, and points the sonic screwdriver at the burning console - sparks fly, the TARDIS jerks, and he nearly falls out again, clinging to the edge of the doorway.
Still rocketing along, the TARDIS just barely lifts him over the topmost spire of St. Stephen's Tower, and he sighs in relief.
He lifts himself firmly back into the TARDIS, closes the doors behind him, and sighs once more, relieved he's not in any immediate danger; the TARDIS has other ideas, and propels itself into action again, knocking the Doctor over and spinning off into the vortex.)
(Opening credits)
(Amelia's garden, as slightly mystical music plays. We draw up to the house, slowly, as we hear Young Amelia talking in her adorable Scottish accent.)
Young Amelia: Dear Santa. Thank you for the dolls, and the pencils, and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I didn't wake you, but... honest, it is an emergency.
(Young Amelia is in her room, kneeling beside her bed, hands together as if she is praying. She glances over to her left, at the wall.)
YA: There's... a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know it's not, because... at night there's voices. So please, please could you send someone to fix it. Or a policeman. Or...
(The sound of the TARDIS materialising, not far away. Suddenly it's interrupted by a huge crashing from Amelia's garden.)
YA: Back in a moment.
(She gets up, darts to the window. The TARDIS has landed on its side right where her shed once stood; the shed now simply a mess of broken wood all around. Amelia looks towards the sky.)
YA: Thank you, Santa.
(Cut to Amelia stepping out of the front door in her little red wellies, with a torch. She heads slowly towards the TARDIS, which is still steaming gently, looking at it curiously. As she reaches it, the doors burst open, steam pouring out. She looks stunned, but unlike a lot of other children doesn't even think of running.
A grappling hook suddenly flies out, and hooks onto some random piece of garden debris. Sounds of the rope being hauled on, then suddenly a hand grabs the side of the TARDIS, then another hand... and then Eleven pops up, grinning happily at her, soaking wet and in a particularly ragged state. Amelia simply stares.)
The Doctor: Can I have an apple? All I can think about. Apples. I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving! That's new, never had cravings before.
(He pulls himself up as she watches, to sit astride the TARDIS, looking down at the interior.)
TD: Woooah...! Look at that!
YA: ...Are you okay?
TD: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.
YA: You're soaking wet.
TD: I was in the swimming pool.
YA: (is not impressed) You said you were in the library.
TD: So is the swimming pool.
YA: Are you a policeman?
TD: (inspecting her closely) Why? Did you call a policeman?
YA: Did you come about the crack in my wall?
TD: What cra- ah- ah- aargh- ha!
(He collapses, falling off the TARDIS and onto the ground; Amelia looks concerned.)
YA: You all right, mister?
TD: Yeah, I'm fine, it's okay... this is all perfectly nor- (He stops again, jerks once, then his mouth opens, and regenerational energy floats out, disappearing. Amelia stares.)
YA: Who are you?
(The Doctor holds his hands in front of him. They're glowing with the same energy. He looks somewhat gleeful.)
TD: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking. (He pauses) Does it scare you?
YA: No. It just looks a bit weird.
TD: No, no no, the crack in your wall, does it scare you?
YA: Yes.
(He grins. A mystery already. He leaps to his feet suddenly, causing her to take a step or two back.)
TD: Well then! No time to lose! I'm the Doctor. Do everything I tell you, don't ask stupid questions, and don't wander off.
(He turns abruptly and starts to stalk off - right into a tree. He falls backwards after a nasty smacking sound, looking slightly surprised. Amelia stands over him, eyebrows raised.)
YA: You all right?
TD: .......Early days. Steering's a bit off.
(Inside Amelia's house. Eleven looks around vaguely, but you know he's taking everything in. Amelia steps up to him.)
YA: If you're a Doctor, why does your box say police?
(The Doctor takes an apple from her, looking slightly affronted; sniffs it, takes a bite, chews it once or twice, and then lazily spits it out, not taking his eyes off Amelia. She looks quite taken aback as the piece flies past her, looking at him as he coughs slightly, holding up the apple.)
TD: That's disgusting. What is that?
YA: An apple.
TD: Apple's rubbish, I hate apples.
YA: You said you loved them.
TD: No, no, no, I'll have yoghurt! Yoghurt's my favourite. Gimme yoghurt.
(Amelia runs to the fridge, gets out a yoghurt. Eleven takes it from her eagerly, rips the lid off, drinks a bit - then projects it quite far across the room. Amelia looks a little disgusted, staring at him with yoghurt on his face.)
TD: I hate yoghurt, it's just stuff! With bits in.
YA: You said it was your favourite!
TD: New mouth. (He wipes a hand across his mouth, smearing the yoghurt around.) New rules. It's like eating after cleaning your teeth, everything tastes WROOOOO-
(He jerks again, still feeling the regeneration, flinging his hand up to slap his forehead as he straightens up once more.)
YA: What is it? What's wrong with you?
TD: Wrong with me? It's not my fault. Why can't you give me any decent food? You're Scottish, fry something.
(Series of clips as she puts the gas on, he rubs his hair with a towel, she fries some bacon for him.)
TD: Bacon!
(He takes a mouthful, starts chewing; she giggles, and he makes a disgusted face and spits it out again into his hand.)
TD: Bacon. That's bacon. (He leans towards her seriously.) Are you trying to poison me?
(She just stares at him. Another few quick clips, same again, only this time she's making beans.)
TD: Ahh. You see? Beans.
(He tries them, then they're quickly spat out into the sink.)
TD: Beans are evil. Bad bad beans.
(Next clips: She spreads some bread and butter for him.)
TD: Bread and butter. Now you're talking.
(She slides it across the table to him; next shot, he's stepping outside the back garden, and frisbees the plate away from the house, hearing it crash in the distance. Possibly into a cat.)
TD: And stay out!
(He brushes his hands, and goes back inside. Pacing up and down the kitchen, Amelia's looking into the fridge for him.)
YA: We've got some carrots.
TD: (stops pacing, turns to look at her.) Carrots? Are you insane?! No, wait, hang on. I know what I need.
(He heads to the freezer, opens it and starts poking around.)
TD: I need... I need.... I need... I. Need. (He pulls out two boxes) Fish fingers, and custard.
(They're both sitting at the table; he's dipping his fish fingers into a bowl full of custard, she's opposite him digging into a large tub of ice cream, watching as he lifts the entire bowl and drinks some custard, leaving him with a rather fetching custard moustache. He wipes it away.)
YA: Funny.
TD: Am I? Good. Funny's good. What's your name?
YA: Amelia Pond.
TD: Ohh, that's a brilliant name. Amelia Ponnnd. Like a name in a fairytale. Are we in Scotland, Amelia?
YA: (sighing) No. Had to move to England. It's rubbish.
TD: So what about your mum and dad then? Are they upstairs? Thought we'd've woken them by now.
YA: Don't have a mum and dad. Just an aunt.
TD: I don't even have an aunt.
YA: You're lucky.
TD: I know. (He pauses) So your aunt. Where's she?
YA: She's out.
TD: And she left you all alone?!
YA: I'm not scared!
TD: Course you're not! You're not scared of anything. Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of the box, man eats fish custard. And look at you! Just sitting there. So you know what I think?
YA: What?
TD: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.
(zooming slowly in on Amelia; she does indeed look worried.
Amelia's room; the Doctor's come to investigate. He pokes around the crack curiously.)
TD: You've had some cowboys in here.
(Amelia's behind him, hanging around in the doorway.)
TD: Not actual cowboys. Though that can happen.
YA: I used to hate apples. Then my mum put faces on them.
(He turns to her, she's holding an apple. She comes over, and hands it to him; it has a smiley face carved into it.)
TD: She sounds good, your mum. I'll keep it for later.
(He turns back to examine the wall.)
TD: This wall's solid, and the crack doesn't go all the way through it. So here's a thing: where's the draft coming from?
(He zaps the sonic screwdriver along it, before closing it back up.)
TD: Wibbly wobbly timey wimey. Do you know what the crack is?
YA: What?
TD: ...It's a crack.
(They both look at it, before he presses his face up against it.)
TD: But I'll tell you something funny. If you knock this wall down, the crack would stay put, cause the crack isn't in the wall.
YA: Where is it then?
TD: Everywhere. In everything, it's a split in the skin of the world. Two parts of space and time that should never have touched... pressed together. Right here in the wall of your bedroom. Sometimes - can you hear-?
YA: A voice. Yes.
(The Doctor darts over to her bedside table, picks up a glass of water, and his arm jerks backwards, flinging all the water out. He looks at the glass as if he's surprised that suddenly there's no water in it, before pressing it against the wall, and his ear to the other end. A whisper of a voice suddenly becomes clearer.)
The Atraxi: Prisoner Zero has escaped.
TD: Prisoner Zero...
YA: Prisoner Zero has escaped. That's what I heard. What does it mean?
(The Doctor continues to press his ear against the glass, against the wall.)
TA: Prisoner Zero has escaped.
(He straightens up, pulling the glass away.)
TD: It means, on the other side of this wall, there's a prison. And they've lost a prisoner, and d'you know what that means?
YA: What?
TD: You need a better wall.
(He leans down, picks up her desk, and drags it out of the way, getting to some action.)
TD: The only way to close the breach is to open it all the way. Forces will invert, and it will snap itself shut.. or....
YA: What?
TD: (Pause) You know when grown-ups tell you everything's gonna be fine, and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?
YA: (Obviously she knows this, sighing slightly) Yes...
TD: (beat) Everything's gonna be fine.
(He holds out his hand to her, and she takes it. He turns back to the wall, keeping Amelia safely behind him, raises the sonic screwdriver, and flicks it on. The crack glows with a brilliant bright light, before prising itself open. Inside is mostly blackness, except for the faint outline of bars somewhere in the distance.)
TA: Prisoner Zero has escaped.
(The Doctor stares, then takes a step forward.)
TA: Prisoner Zero has escaped.
TD: Hello? Helloooo...
(Suddenly a very large eyeball fills the space. The Doctor takes a step or two back, startled, as the eye rests on the two of them. The eye abruptly fires some little glowing ball of light which curves round and hits the Doctor's pocket, as he falls backward against her bed.
The crack closes, slowly.)
TD: There, see! Told you it would close! Good as new.
YA: What's that thing? Was that Prisoner Zero?
TD: No. I think that was Prisoner Zero's guard. Whatever it was, it sent me a message.
(He holds up the psychic paper, waving it.)
TD: Psychic paper. Takes a lovely little message. (He reads it) 'Prisoner Zero has escaped.' But why tell us...? (pause) Unless...
YA: Unless what?
TD: ...Unless Prisoner Zero escaped through here. (He's already looking around the room, for any trace.) But he couldn't have. We'd know.
(He runs out of her bedroom, Amelia follows him, until he stops abruptly on the landing. He does a double take at one of the doors around them, then continues looking around.)
TD: It's difficult, brand new me, nothing works yet, but there's something I'm missing...
(Close up on his eyes, as he very... slowly... turns his head.... to face the door he'd glanced at twice earlier.)
TD: In the corner... of my eye....
(There's something not quite right about the door... But suddenly they hear the sound of the cloister bell ringing in the TARDIS, and the Doctor jumps into action, running for the stairs.)
TD: No, no no no no no no, noo!
(Out in the back garden again, and Amelia's chasing the Doctor back to the TARDIS.)
TD: I've gotta get back in there! The engines are phasing! It's gonna burn!
YA: But! It's just a box, how can a box have engines?!
(The Doctor's fussing around the TARDIS, still on its side, running around it and eventually jumping up to sit on it.)
TD: It's not a box! It's a time machine.
YA: (is not impressed.) What? A real one? You've got a real time machine?
TD: Not for much longer, if I can't get it stabilised! Five minute hop into the future should do it!
YA: ...Can I come?
TD: Not safe in here, not yet. Five minutes. Give me five minutes! I'll be right back.
YA: ...People always say that.
(The Doctor stops where he is, now sitting astride it, turning around to jump down and crouch beside her.)
TD: Am I people? Do I even look like people? Trust me. I'm the Doctor.
(Amelia smiles, reassured. He leaps back up again, turns to take one last look at the little girl, before grinning, and jumping in.)
TD: Geronimoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(The sound of splashing far, far below, and the TARDIS doors swing closed. The TARDIS dematerialises, disappearing as Amelia watches. As soon as it's gone, she takes off, running back to the house, up to her bedroom, and pulls out a suitcase from under her bed. She starts to pack up her clothes and a teddy, neatly, and runs back outside.
As she runs through the landing, towards the stairs, we zoom in on the door that the Doctor had noticed earlier. It's not closed anymore, but ajar, quite, quite open, and Amelia hasn't seen.
She runs outside again, suitcase packed, and sits in front of the destroyed shed, on top of the suitcase. Waiting for her Doctor to return.
The camera pulls back through the window overlooking the back garden. Slowly, pulling back... as a shadow passes in front of the camera. Tracking up to the clock on the wall, showing half past eleven at night, it changes to twenty past ten. Birds are singing, and the TARDIS is materialising.
The garden: it's now daytime, and the TARDIS arrives, still steaming, it's windows tinted amber. The Doctor steps out, looking around curiously.)
TD: Amelia!
(He starts to run towards the house.)
TD: Amelia! I worked out what it was! I know what I was missing! You've gotta get out of there!
(He presses the sonic screwdriver against the lock, but has to click it several times before it'll work. I assume the sonic is somewhat connected to the TARDIS, which in itself is connected to the Doctor. None of them are really looking their best.
It finally works, and he heads inside, still calling her name as he runs upstairs, straight to the suspicious door.)
TD: Amelia! Amelia! Are you all right?! Are you there?
(He presses the sonic against the lock of THIS door, and it splutters slightly.)
TD: Prisoner Zero's here. (raising his voice) Prisoner Zero is here!
(shot from down the hall, as if someone is watching him.)
TD: Prisoner Zero is here! Prisoner Zero's here, do you understand me? Prisoner Zero is...
(A floorboard creaks behind him; he turns, and a cricket bat smacks him hard in the face. He falls unconscious to the floor.)
(The local hospital. Rory Williams, a nurse at the hospital, walks up a corridor with one of the doctors, Doctor Ramsden, into a room full of coma patients. They stop at a bed as she picks up a chart.)
Doctor Ramsden: So. They all called out once. That's what you're saying. All of them. All the coma patients. You do understand that these people are all comatose, don't you? They can't speak.
Rory Williams: Yes, Doctor Ramsden.
DR: Then why are you wasting my time?
RW: ...Because they called for you.
DR: Me?
(Rory nods, and they stare at each other in surprise as they're suddenly interrupted by the voice of one of the patients.)
Coma Patient 1: Doc... tor...
(They turn to face him, as he speaks again.)
CP1: Doctor.
Coma Patient 2: Doctor.
(They turn again as the patient whose bed they're standing beside speaks.)
CP2: Doctor.
(More voices join in. Soon the entire room full of people, all unconscious, are repeating the word Doctor over and over, as Rory kicks his heels, looking a little satisfied with himself.)
(Amy's house, again. The Doctor himself is unconscious, sitting on the floor still on the landing, against a radiator. He wakes up, slowly, blearily, to see a young policewoman with gorgeous ginger hair, speaking into a radio.)
Policewoman: White male, mid-twenties, breaking and entering. Send me some backup, I've got him restrained.
(She turns to face him as he wakes, hand on her hip.)
PW: Oi! You, sit still.
TD: (Clearing his throat.) Cricket bat. I'm getting... Cricket. Bat.
PW: You were breaking and entering.
(The Doctor stares curiously for a second, then abruptly tries to stand up. He falls back down again quickly, realising that he's handcuffed to the radiator.)
TD: Oh that's much better. Brand new me. Whack on the head, just what I needed.
PW: Do you want to shut up now? I've got backup on the way.
TD: Hang on, no, wait. You're a policewoman.
PW: And you're breaking and entering. You see how this works?
TD: No, what are you doing here? Where's Amelia?
(The policewoman stares. This obviously rings a bell.)
PW: ....Amelia Pond?
TD: Yeah. Amelia. Little Scottish girl. Where is she? I promised her five minutes, but the engines were phasing, I suppose I must have gone a bit far. Has something happened to her?
(The policewoman is still staring at him, warily.)
PW: Amelia Pond hasn't lived here in a long time.
TD: How long?
PW: ...Six months.
TD: (beat) No. No! No. Noo. I can't be six months late, I said five minutes. I promised. (He sniffs.)
(The policewoman turns away from him, clicking her radio, and he strains to get her attention again.)
TD: What happened to her? What happened to Amelia Pond?
PW: (into radio) Sarge, it's me again, hurry it up. This guy knows something about Amelia Pond.
(Just past her is *the* door, again. Closed.)
(Back in the hospital, still with Rory and Doctor Ramsden. She's checking one of the coma patients' eyes.)
DR: Don't think they were even conscious.
RW: Doctor Ramsden, there is another, sort of, um, funny... thing.
DR: Yes, I know. Doctor Carver told me about your conversation. We've been very patient with you, Rory. You're a good enough nurse, but for goodness' sake-
RW: I've seen them!
DR: These patients are under twenty-four hour supervision, we know if their blood pressure changes! There is no possibility that you could've seen them wandering around the village- why are you giving me your phone?!
(He has been doing something on his mobile, and is holding it out to her, to take a look.)
RW: It's a camera, too.
(She reaches out to take it from him, then stops as her pager goes off.)
DR: You need to take some time off, Rory. A lot of time off. (He starts to protest, she overrules him.) Start now! Now!
(He turns and walks off, staring at his phone as if he doesn't know what to do with it.)
(Back at Amelia's house. The Doctor and the policewoman are still where they were before.)
TD: I need to speak to whoever lives in this house right now.
PW: I live here.
TD: But you're the police!
PW: Yes, and this is where I live! You got a problem with that?
(The Doctor's eyes flick to *the* door, then back. From then he doesn't take his eyes off her.)
TD: How many rooms?
PW: ...I'm sorry, what?
TD: On this floor. How many rooms on this floor? Count them for me, now.
PW: Why?
TD: Because it will change your life.
PW: ....Five. One, two, three, four, five. (She points them out.)
TD: Six.
PW: (laughs) Six?
TD: Look.
PW: Look where?
TD: Exactly where you don't wanna look. Where you never wanna look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you.
(The same close up on her eyes that was on the Doctor's earlier, when he was here with Young Amelia. She turns, and suddenly, she can see *the* door.)
PW: That's... that is not possible. How is that possible?
TD: There's a perception filter all round the door. Sensed it last time I was here. Should've seen it.
PW: But that's a whole room. That's a whole room I've never even noticed.
TD: The filter stops you noticing. Something came here, a while ago, to hide, and it's still hiding, and you need to uncuff me now!
PW: Don't have the key, I lost it. (She starts moving towards the door.)
TD: How can you have lost it?! ...Stay away from that door!
(She ignores him.)
TD: Do not touch that door!
(She ignores him.)
TD: Listen to me, do not open that-!
(She ignores him, turning the handle, and stepping inside. The Doctor throws his hand up in the air.)
TD: Why does no one ever listen to me? Do I just have a face that nobody listens to?! (He pauses.) ...Again.
(He starts feeling in his pockets.)
TD: My screwdriver, where is it? Silver thing, blue at the end, where did it go?!
(The policewoman is wandering around the room she never knew existed, curiously.)
PW: There's nothing here.
TD: (from outside the room) Whatever's in there stopped you seeing the whole room. What makes you think you could see it? Now please, just get out!
PW: (examining something in front of her.) Silver, blue at the end?
TD: (from outside) My screwdriver, yeah.
PW: It's here.
TD: Must've rolled under the door.
PW: Yeah. Must've. (the camera shows the screwdriver, on a table in front of her.) And then it must've... jumped up on the table.
(Zoom in on the Doctor. Something's wrong.)
TD: (from outside the room again) Get out of there. Get out of there! Get out! Get out of there!!
(The policewoman is reaching down, to pick up the screwdriver, which is covered in some sort of sticky viscous liquid. The Doctor is straining against the handcuffs, trying to see round the door.
The policewoman is suddenly aware of something not quite right. There's a large, slimy, reptilian-esque creature hanging from the ceiling(?) right behind her, but as yet, she can't see it.)
TD: (from outside) What is it? What are you doing?
PW: There's nothing here, but...
(She's moving her head, looking around, but the creature is staying firmly behind her.)
TD: Corner of your eye....
PW: What is it?
TD: Don't try to see it, if it knows you've seen it it will kill you! Don't look at it!
(She's still looking around, trying to see it.)
TD: Do not... look.
(Too late: as she spins her head around, she comes face to face with it. It opens it's mouth, wide, baring its long pointy teeth, and she screams.)
TD: Get out!
(Back on the landing now - she runs out of the room, slams the door, runs over to him.)
TD: Gimme that.
(He reaches out and takes the screwdriver, quickly aims it at the door, and it locks. He turns it on himself, now, aiming it at the cuffs.)
TD: Oh, what's the bad alien done to you?
PW: Will that door hold it?
TD: Oh, yeah, yeah, course. It's an interdimensional multiform from outer space, they're all terrified of wood.
(She gives him a scathing look, and the door suddenly flashes yellow from within.)
PW: What's that? What's it doing?
TD: (looks up from rubbing his screwdriver.) I don't know. Getting dressed? Run. Just go, your backup's coming, I'll be fine.
PW: There is no backup.
TD: ...I heard you on the radio, you called for backup.
PW: I was pretending, it's a pretend radio.
TD: But you're a policewoman.
PW: I'm a kissogram!
(She pulls off her hat, and all her tightly done hair falls out loosely. There's no time for staring, though, as the door crashes down at the other end of the corridor. A man and his very large black dog step out, staring at the two of them.)
PW: ....But it's just...
TD: No it isn't. Look at the faces.
(The dog starts to growl, and then bark. But as the (not)policewoman looks, the dog's face isn't moving. But the man's is. The man is barking.)
PW: ..........What? I'm sorry, but - What?!
TD: It's all one creature, one creature disguised as two. Clever, old, multi-form. A bit of a rushed job, though, got the voices a bit muddled, did you? (The creature stares at him.) Mind you, where did you get the pattern from? You'd need a psychic link, life feed, how'd you fix that?
(The man growls again. Cut to the hospital, briefly - it's Coma Patient 1, and there are pictures of his large black dog on the bedside table beside him.
Back in Amelia's house, and he takes a step towards them, before opening his mouth and revealing large pointy teeth, the same as the creature's.)
TD: Stay away! (pause) Apparently we're safe, wanna know why? (He pats the policewoman's shoe.) She sent for backup.
PW: I didn't send for backup!
TD: ...I know, that was a clever line to save our lives. Okay, yeah, no backup!
(The man closes his mouth, stops growling.)
TD: And that's why we're safe. Alone we're not a threat to you. If we HAD backup then you'd have to kill us.
(There's a sudden voice from outside.)
TA: Attention Prisoner Zero. The human residence is surrounded. Attention Prisoner Zero. The human residence is surrounded.
PW: What's that?
TD: Well, that would be backup. Okay, one more time. We do have backup, and that's definitely why we're safe.
TA: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated.
TD: ...Well, safe apart from, you know, incineration.
TA: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated. (This continues to repeat.)
(The man and his dog wander off into another room to look out of the window; the Doctor slams the screwdriver on the floor, trying to get it to work.)
TD: Work, work, work, work. Come on!
(Finally, it does, and the handcuffs snap open.)
TD: Run! (He takes her hand and pushes her ahead of him, and she tears down the stairs.) Run!
(The Atraxi voice is still continuing; the Doctor and the policewoman run out of the house, slamming the door behind them, and the Doctor sonics it locked. They continue running towards the TARDIS.)
TD: A kissogram?!
PW: Yes, a kissogram! What's going on?!
TD: Why'd you pretend to be a policewoman?!
PW: You broke into my house! It was this or a French maid! What's going on, tell me! Tell me!
TD: An alien convict is hiding in your spare room, disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house. Any questions?
PW: Yes!
TD: Me too. (He tries to unlock the TARDIS, with no luck.) No, no, no, no, no! Don't do that, not now.. It's still rebuilding, not letting us in.
TA: ...Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence...
PW: Come on! (She grabs the Doctor's arm, pulls him away from where he's currently pressed up against the TARDIS, rubbing it gently (I'm worried about this Doctor). He tries to pull away.)
TD: Wait, wait, hang on! Wait wait wait wait wait, the shed! I destroyed that shed last time I was here, smashed it to pieces!
(He runs over to it, she follows.)
PW: So, there's a new one! Let's go!
TD: Yeah, but the new one's got old! It's ten years old at least! (He sniffs it, rubs it and licks his finger.) Twelve years. I'm not six months late, I'm twelve years late.
(He turns to look at the policewoman.)
PW: He's coming.
TD: You said six months! Why did you say six months?
PW: We've gotta go.
TD: This matters. This is important! Why did you say six months?
(She snaps, spinning to shout at him.)
PW: Well why did you say five minutes?!
(He stares at her, in shock. Her eyes are wide. He knows, now - this is Amelia Pond.)
TD: (whispering) ...What....
Amy Pond.: Come on.
TD: What?
AP: Come on!!
TD: What?!
(She pulls him by the hand, and they run out of the garden as the Atraxi voice continues. They run past the front door, as the man and the dog stand there, and the man barks.)
TA: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated...
(The Doctor and Amelia run up the little village road towards the village square, and he stops, turning to her.)
TD: You're Amelia.
(She continues walking, and he catches up to her.)
AP: You're late.
TD: Amelia Pond! You're the little girl!
AP: I'm Amelia, and you're late!
TD: What happened?!
AP: Twelve years.
TD: You hit me with a cricket bat!
AP: Twelve years!
TD: A cricket bat!
AP: Twelve years, and four psychiatrists.
TD: ...Four?
AP: ...I kept biting them.
TD: Why? (He obviously finds this vaguely hilarious.)
AP: They said you weren't real.
TA: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated.
(The Doctor and Amelia look over to see the voice blaring out of the speakers of an ice cream van.)
AP: No no no, come on. What? We're being staked out... by an ice cream van.
(The two of them run up to the van.)
TD: What's that? Why are you playing that?
Ice Cream Man: It's supposed to be Clair De Lune.
(The Doctor picks up a radio, holds it to his ear.)
TA: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated. Repeat. Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated.
(The Doctor pokes around the radio, then wanders off to the side of the ice cream van. Everything with speakers is playing the same thing, iPods, mobile phones, etc.)
AP: Doctor, what's happening?
(They both look around for a few more seconds, and then run off, apparently in different directions, the Doctor leaping over someone's garden fence.)
(A lovely old lady's house, Mrs Angelo; the Doctor hurries in through the unlocked door, skids on the carpet, and heads into the living room, where the old lady is trying to press her remote. On the screen is the giant eyeball, whizzing around, and speaking the same words as everything else from outside.)
TD: Hello! Sorry to burst in, we're doing a special on television faults in this area.
(Amy bursts in suddenly too.)
TD: ....Also, crimes. Let's have a look.
(He walks over to check out the remote.)
Mrs Angelo: I was just about to phone.. It's on every channel! (She notices Amy.) Oh, hello Amy dear! ...Are you a policewoman now?
AP: (Clearly embarassed.) Well! Sometimes...
MA: I thought you were a nurse.
(The Doctor looks up at Amy curiously.)
AP: I can. Be a nurse.
MA: Or, actually a nun?
AP: I dabble! (she laughs it off.)
MA: (The old lady decides to ignore this.) Amy, who's your friend?
TD: Who's Amy? You're Amelia.
MA: Yeah, now I'm Amy!
TD: Amelia Pond! That was a great name!
AP: ...Bit fairytale.
(The Doctor stares at her.)
MA: I know, you, don't I? I mean I've seen you somewhere before!
TD: Not me. Brand new face. (He stretches out his mouth, as wide as he can, to apparently show her how new his face is.) First time on. And what sort of job's a kissogram?
AP: I go to parties, and... I kiss people. (she clears her throat) With outfits. It's a laugh!
TD: You were a little girl five minutes ago!
AP: You're worse than my aunt.
TD: I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt! (He turns back to Mrs Angelo.) And, that is not how I'm introducing myself.
(She nods, a little bemused, and he turns and starts sonicking the radio, tuning it into different channels. The voice of the Atraxi continues to come out, in different languages.)
TD: Okay. So it's everywhere. In every language. They're broadcasting to the whole world.
(He runs over to the window, opens it, and leans out, looking at the sky.)
AP: What's up there? What are you looking at?
(He pulls himself back in, wandering around the room.)
TD: Okay. Planet this size, two poles? Your basic molten core? Uh, they're gonna need a forty per cent fission blast.
(Jeff comes in the front door behind him, he walks up to Jeff, backing him against the wall, as the Doctor leans right up close to him.)
TD: But they'll have to power up first. So, assuming a medium sized star ship... that's twenty minutes. What do you think? Twenty minutes?
(He bounces up and down, raising and lowering himself on his tiptoes to equal Jeff's height, then back to his own height, then up again.)
TD: Yeah... Twenty minutes. We've got twenty minutes.
AP: Twenty minutes to what?
Jeff Angelo: Are you the Doctor?
MA: He is, isn't he? He's the Doctor! The Raggedy Doctor! All those cartoons you did when you were little? The Raggedy Doctor! It's him!
(Amy clears her throat.)
AP: ...Shut up.
TD: ...Cartoons?
(He heads over towards the telly, slumps on the sofa. Jeff wanders closer.)
JA: Gran? It's him, isn't it? It's really him!
AP: Jeff, shut up! Twenty minutes to what?
TD: The human residence. They're not talking about your house, they're talking about the planet. Somewhere up there, there's a spaceship. Aaand, it's going to incinerate the planet. (He pauses.) Twenty minutes to the end of the world.
(He glances at Amy, who looks back at him.
Up in space, above the planet. There's an entire fleet of the Atraxi ships, all looking like lovely little snowflakes. They all have a swivelling blue eyeball in the center, and *apparently* space is suddenly not a vacuum and therefore there's sound, because the Atraxi voice is still broadcasting from one of its ships.)
Part Two.