requested Dresden fic - "In elevators, you can be pregnant too"
Title: In elevators, you can be pregnant too.
Fandom: Dresden Files
Author: Keenir.
Rating: PG-15.
Warning: Murph is ticked!
Written for: Green Wing.
Request: The Dresden Files, Gen, Harry
Harry kills an elevator at a really bad time (feel free to throw in the obligatory woman in labour moment.
Spoilers: no specific episode; borrowing the eyes & electricity details from the first book.
( sign up here so I can write one for you)
Summary: Stuck in an elevator, Harry and his wife try to pass the time.
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“Harry, my feet are sweating, my back is killing me, and I’m hungry.” This is my wife. Or as Bob’s lately taken to calling her, my fecund snarky sex kitten.
My name is Harry Dresden. I’m a wizard, married to a lovely woman who I still think is too good for me (if I find out somebody used a love potion on Murphy, I’ll thank ‘im, then kill ‘im - mostly the latter, and repeatedly at that), and proud owner of a cat that’s larger than most dogs.
I’m also about to be a father.
“Don’t you worry,” I assure her. “Soon as the -” and the elevator stops in mid-rise, the lights going out. Even the emergency ones.
It wasn’t me.
“Don’t panic,” I say.
Murph snorts. “Panic? Lets shove the watermelon up your ass.”
Maternity leave agreed with her even less than waiting in elevators - Murph got so bored she took up juggling…Bob’s skull, among other things. I still don’t know who was more worried, me or Bob. I mean, if someone breaks the skull, what happens? Bob never did answer that, ever.
Bob did ask that I not name the kid after him. He’s got a point; after all, ‘Bainbridge Dresden’ is a terrible name…sounds more like an address.
“No need to worry,” I try to assure Murph.
“Harry, look me in the eyes and say that.”
“Not again. C’mon, today of all days, could you please -”
“Fine. As soon as we’re moving again.”
“I’m sorry,” the nurse apologizes. “I don’t understand - this sort of thing isn’t supposed to be able to happen.”
“Nothing’s foolproof,” I offer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I can be here today, at Connie’s side. But given my history with electronics - as evidenced right now - I’m also really wishing I was out on a case right now.
I lean in close, smelling her hair, rubbing the hand I’m holding with both hands, and -
She turns her head faster than I can dodge, looking me dead in the eyes. I’m sorry I want to say to her, as I start to peer into her soul…I’ve barely glanced into her, when -
wham!
The only way I can describe it is a neon light - no, a fire, a campfire with petrol on it - right in my face, the words NO PEEKING burning into me.
I stumble back, breaking contact, my butt thumping into the elevator wall, and I sink to the floor.
“Harry?” Connie asks, concerned.
“Sir, are you okay?” the nurse asks me. “I mumble something that’s coherent enough for the nurse, who then tells my Murph, “First-time fathers are all alike. It just hits some later than others.”
The power comes back on.
That’s our kid, Murph.
I say he gets it from you.
-------------------------
The End
It was originally going to be Harry and Murphy in an elevator with a pregnant Mai…but I figured that that was too cruel.
Fandom: Dresden Files
Author: Keenir.
Rating: PG-15.
Warning: Murph is ticked!
Written for: Green Wing.
Request: The Dresden Files, Gen, Harry
Harry kills an elevator at a really bad time (feel free to throw in the obligatory woman in labour moment.
Spoilers: no specific episode; borrowing the eyes & electricity details from the first book.
( sign up here so I can write one for you)
Summary: Stuck in an elevator, Harry and his wife try to pass the time.
---------------------------------------
“Harry, my feet are sweating, my back is killing me, and I’m hungry.” This is my wife. Or as Bob’s lately taken to calling her, my fecund snarky sex kitten.
My name is Harry Dresden. I’m a wizard, married to a lovely woman who I still think is too good for me (if I find out somebody used a love potion on Murphy, I’ll thank ‘im, then kill ‘im - mostly the latter, and repeatedly at that), and proud owner of a cat that’s larger than most dogs.
I’m also about to be a father.
“Don’t you worry,” I assure her. “Soon as the -” and the elevator stops in mid-rise, the lights going out. Even the emergency ones.
It wasn’t me.
“Don’t panic,” I say.
Murph snorts. “Panic? Lets shove the watermelon up your ass.”
Maternity leave agreed with her even less than waiting in elevators - Murph got so bored she took up juggling…Bob’s skull, among other things. I still don’t know who was more worried, me or Bob. I mean, if someone breaks the skull, what happens? Bob never did answer that, ever.
Bob did ask that I not name the kid after him. He’s got a point; after all, ‘Bainbridge Dresden’ is a terrible name…sounds more like an address.
“No need to worry,” I try to assure Murph.
“Harry, look me in the eyes and say that.”
“Not again. C’mon, today of all days, could you please -”
“Fine. As soon as we’re moving again.”
“I’m sorry,” the nurse apologizes. “I don’t understand - this sort of thing isn’t supposed to be able to happen.”
“Nothing’s foolproof,” I offer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I can be here today, at Connie’s side. But given my history with electronics - as evidenced right now - I’m also really wishing I was out on a case right now.
I lean in close, smelling her hair, rubbing the hand I’m holding with both hands, and -
She turns her head faster than I can dodge, looking me dead in the eyes. I’m sorry I want to say to her, as I start to peer into her soul…I’ve barely glanced into her, when -
wham!
The only way I can describe it is a neon light - no, a fire, a campfire with petrol on it - right in my face, the words NO PEEKING burning into me.
I stumble back, breaking contact, my butt thumping into the elevator wall, and I sink to the floor.
“Harry?” Connie asks, concerned.
“Sir, are you okay?” the nurse asks me. “I mumble something that’s coherent enough for the nurse, who then tells my Murph, “First-time fathers are all alike. It just hits some later than others.”
The power comes back on.
That’s our kid, Murph.
I say he gets it from you.
-------------------------
The End
It was originally going to be Harry and Murphy in an elevator with a pregnant Mai…but I figured that that was too cruel.