LETTER: Gwendolen - Oh My Goodness
While we're on the subject of Thomas, geographical locations, celebrity birthdates, lottery tickets, and Basketball Games, I just thought I'd make mention of Gwendolen's message she sent me.
Not that I claimed anything about Godhood, but I think I present a pretty good case when it comes to coincidences. The question I want to ask is, "What's wrong with being creative and how you choose to see the world?" She's never met me and already telling me to go see a therapist.
If I had said that I was doing a roleplaying game and that this was all fantasy, no one would give this a second glance. They'd say it's all based in fantasy and I'm just playing a game of "Match." You just match up information. It would be just something to pass the time.
There's so much data that people pass over because they're not looking for it. Kidn of like how you can have a really nice person who could be a great companion and significant other, but you just completely overlook them as a potential mate because you're not looking and don't see it in them.
What if it turned out that God has been speaking to people for a millenium, and I'm just someone who noticed he was saying something, and now he's rewarding me for having been open-minded and made the leap of faith? Even if it's all just mere coincidence, what's the big deal? Aren't people allowed to think?
It's not like I was hurting anyone. Even celticblissy will admit that she knows I'm not psychotic. She'd refer to me as "obsessive," but psychotic and obsessive are two different things. Obsession is where you think about someone a lot. Psychotic is when you're violent about it. Bliss may get annoyed with me when she thinks I send her too much E-mail, but even she knows that I'm not violent or psychotic.
This is why I said that nobody ever loves anyone deeply or passionately anymore because you'll most likely get punished for having that depth of love. It will just be seen as obsessive if the other person doesn't share the same passion that you do. That's why Nice Guys always get dumped or passed over because we're seen as being clingy and obsessive. We throw our entire heart into things, but when women get tired of it or feel they're getting smothered, they'll push Nice Guys away.
That's what Bliss did to me. I was loyal. I was faithful. However, she felt like she was being smothered. So what did she do? She created an alternate alias with Kara without my knowledge. Was she obligated to inform me? No, of course not. However, I thought she was affectionate and being monogamous. I was believing in something false. Had I known that she was playing with other men behind my back, I would've reacted differently.
Maybe it would've meant I would've broken up with her or we would've had an argument about it. However, it would've confronted the problem rather than allowing me to go on THINKING that things were okay. That's why I say that Bliss is not as innocent in this as the other side thinks she is. She plays the wounded victim and everyone rallies around her as the oppressed victim, but she is the one who started the chain of events.
If she had just told me she wanted to be with other men, I may have been hurt by it, but at least I would've known. Maybe I would've gotten mad and stomped off, but it's certainly better than being led on. Lies of Omission where you know that the person would be unhappy or their behavior would change if they knew what was really going on is a lie of omission.
I stopped trusting her. You place all this love, faith, and trust in someone and you find out that she's been lying to you for three months. She would log on as Kara, and I would have a conversation with her not knowing it was Bliss. What kind of relationship is that? She should've broken it off with me and just ended it. However, she couldn't. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too. She wanted to be able to have sex with other men and still keep me as a friend.
Not that it matters now because she's totally dogging me and siccing all her friends on me. She gets up on her soap box proclaiming how she's banned me here and there and has decided to terminate contact with me. She's blocked my E-mail. She takes on this righteous holier-than-thou attitude, which is so hypocritical.
She was complaining about how that one person online is harassing her by saying that she's tired of hearing Bliss bitch and moan about being broke all the time. I said to Bliss via E-mail (politely) that I can see why. She spends all her time on Haven and is unemployed and is pining over wanting to be with Ravenshade who lives in Missouri while she's in England.
You can't run Haven, as a chat place, and then moan about how you're unemployed and have no money. If she really wanted to get out of her situation, she would shut Haven down and go get a job. Even if it meant digging ditches. It's not very flattering, but it will still put money on the table.
Like I said, she could've gone into jewelry because her mom has a friend who owns a jewelry store, but Bliss doesn't want to do sales or be a salesperson. Bliss is being finicky. If you don't want to do sales and you don't have any other job and you're running a Haven Community that doesn't pay you anything, are you really spending your time wisely?
That's why I think she's a hypocrite to tell me to go and get my head examined with a shrink. I think she should go take her own advice. She should get her own head examined because she's just as guilty as me. She's been OBSESSING over Ravenshade since January 2001. Jamie is someone whom she's never met in real life. The same way that I used to care deeply for Bliss whom I'd never met and was 3,000 miles away, she pines over Ravenshade the SAME EXACT WAY I pined over her.
However, notice that when a guy pines and obsesses over a woman, he's branded as a psychotic stalker. When a girl does the exact same thing, you don't see that. Because no one ever sees a woman as a threat. With a guy, they see aggression and mental instability. It's total gender bias and discrimination. Bliss would spend all her time waiting online for Ravenshade to log on the same way I would with her. Because Ravenshade's schedule was chaotic, Bliss would never know when Ravenshade would connect. So she'd stay online all the time.
I did the same thing for Bliss. However, Bliss got tired of it and felt she was being smothered. So she would use another AOL Screen Name to hide. Is she entitled to privacy? Of course. However, she didn't have the courage to just come out and say it. So why should she play the victim and make me out to be the bad guy? She wouldn't confront me. She has avoidant behavior and doesn't like conflict.
If you don't like conflict and choose not to say anything, you cede your right to complain about anything. She walks around like a Goddess. Before me, she had no Haven. Could she have gotten someone else to set it up for her on a server? Probably, but she was waiting on other people. That's how she is. She just sits and waits. She talks about how she's too scared to go in for a business loan at a bank.
She doesn't talk to her dad who's a successful business owner. If Bliss was SMART, she would've swallowed her pride and asked her dad for business advice on how to set up one. I bet the dad would've been supportive. However, she doesn't. Now she's aging. She'll be 29 in May. And what has she done with her life? She's sitting on line pining over some woman she's never met.
I loved Bliss and even told her I would've flown to England for her. I told her flat out that I'd give up my U.S. Citizenship and relocate to another country for her to make it work, but she didn't want me. Has Ravenshade ever done that? Last time I talked to Bliss, Ravenshade hasn't really told her family that she's a lesbian. Has that changed yet?
I don't know what's going on in Bliss' life, but I can definitely tell you that I've grown WAY more than she has, especially in the last year. I know much more than I did earlier and it was through blood, sweat, toil, and tears. I put up with a whole bunch of crap and discrimination. I've had to cross mental barriers that few have ever done, and it paid off.
That's why I won't sit here and put up with Gwendolen's crap. Especially if she's sitting there snooping my Journal. She was calling my bluff. All I'm doing is just making her eat her words. This is just to show how NASTY people who are closed minded can be. They'll go off on you about things they know nothing about.
Besides, even when it comes to Gwendolen's message about leaving her alone, it's still my Journal. I can talk about Bliss if I want. In fact, I'm very nice about it. The stuff I was talking about regarding Bliss was nice stuff. I wasn't slandering her. The stuff I talked about was regarding strange phenomenon. On top of that, everyone just assumed I was just spouting gibberish. It never occurred to them that what I've been seeing and experiencing is actually real when it comes to the things that have been happening around me.
When you say about what's going on around you, that's stating an opinion and people can make inferences from it. Is it possible to lie about things that you say are happening? Sure. That's why I like posting in my Journal and showing the links made by third parties. It's not mine. It's been VERIFIED by someone else.
The difference between all the people accusing me of being psycho and me is that I can point to actual data. I can give hyperlinks to documentation that validates people's births and deaths. I can point to actual movies that have had theatrical releases, who starred in them, and the year. That's real data.
The people who are going off on me are basing it off of what someone told them. It's from what they heard from Bliss and they just assume that Bliss is a credible source. It's just an OPINION. It's an opinion she got from Sky. Which is an OPINION she got from Isabella. Which is an OPINION she got from Charlie.
Even when Gwendolen goes off on me in here about trying too hard to find coincidences, at least they're true statements. Sure, they may hint toward something, but I didn't lie. Movies were produced that year. Sharon Thomas IS Dean Cain's mother. Teri Hatcher IS born on December 8th. John Wayne WAS born on the 29th. Tyrone Power DID die on November 15th. MY information can be VALIDATED.
That's what makes my assumptions and theories stronger. They're more fact-based than that of Gwendolen, Bliss, Charlie, Sky, and Isabella.
That's why it's such a huge insult to have them go off on me about this. Like I said, in a court of law, I would totally stomp on all of them and make them look like asses. It's a joke having them say that I'm the one who needs to see a shrink. I've been experiencing this for over a year now.
If they don't believe me or want to listen, fine. But as long as I'm complying with the law and not physically hurting anybody, people should mind their own damn business. If you don't like what someone is writing about you, DON'T READ IT. Stop visiting that person's Journal. Paparazzi go off on Celebrities in Tabloids all the time. THey think that just because I'm not a celebrity or a star, they can go off on me and tell me that I should go seek help.
That's why we live in such a skewed society. If I was a billionaire and was behaving this way, you wouldn't see them acting all nasty toward me. They'd be giving me respect because they'd see that I'm successful. That just goes to show how people covet money. That's not how it's supposed to be. You're not supposed to be respectful toward people simply because they're rich.
That's why the rich mistreat everyone. Everyone's always kissing their asses. The rest of the masses want to be close to people who have money, power, or fame. So they worship and idolize those people and treat others with nothing like dirt. Everyone just assumed that I have nothing. My value and worth is intangible, and I didn't deserve the mistreatment, discrimination, and crap that got dumped on me over the last year all because some idiot didn't want to look at the facts submitted that proved I was innocent and take back his decision when all the data pointed to me being completely harmless.
That's why I don't place faith in society. Society messes up people because it tells them how to think and feel. If you don't fit the mold of that society, you'll get kicked out. Everyone will turn against you and your friends who don't want to cause conflict will also distance themselves from you.
You're on your own.
That's the one thing I learned from all this. You find out who your real friends are. You find out who's real and who's fake. You find out who's superficial and who has true depth of soul. True friends stick by you no matter what anyone says about you.
However, that's why I said that no one ever truly loves with depth and passion anymore because they'll get punished. Everyone else is too practical and logical. You can't be passionate about someone without being categorized as obsessive. That's why people are cautious when it comes to expressing love and never love fully. They never love with their entire heart and soul.
Bliss thinks she knows what it's like. However, her true test of love will be when Ravenshade turns her back on Bliss and spits in her face. I'd like to see how long Bliss would last if Ravenshade turned completely nasty toward her, told her to stop being obsessive, accused her of being a freak, and was playing with other women behind Bliss' back.
That's what Bliss did to me, and I held out for years and still maintained a high opinion of her through it all. Even when she didn't deserve it. Bliss had something really good and she let it slip away. I was the one who was supportive of her the entire time and worried about her. If she was ever broke, I would've mailed her money. She just wouldn't accept it from me because she's so stubborn.
1 From: Gwendolen At: Sat Apr 02 02:22:58 2005
Fldr : 0 Status: Unread
To : Stryder
Subject: Oh my goddess
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are utterly insane. You've lost it. Every single thought in your head is completely *gone*. People keep telling you that you need to see a psychiatrist, don't they? You probably just smile or laugh, knowing that you are right and they are wrong. Has it ever occurred to you THAT YOU ARE SICK? NATURALLY if you are how you are, you're going to deny your faults, but for the sake of all that's good, get some blasted help, you blubbering imbecile! All of the points you raised in your journal? Those are god damned coincidences, and you're absolutely DIGGING for them. You can't LOOK for coincidences then claim they're there in the name of your confounded powers. Get a life! There is no gain in looking up a name, a name that I chose simply to RP, a name that holds NO BEARING on ME or WHO I AM, and then think there's ANY CONCRETE RELEVANCE TO *ANYTHING*. And dragging Bliss's name through your journal is NOT leaving her alone. GOD DAMMIT, LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOUR PSYCHOTIC SHIT ANY MORE THAN I WANT TO KNOW IT EXISTS.
Not that I claimed anything about Godhood, but I think I present a pretty good case when it comes to coincidences. The question I want to ask is, "What's wrong with being creative and how you choose to see the world?" She's never met me and already telling me to go see a therapist.
If I had said that I was doing a roleplaying game and that this was all fantasy, no one would give this a second glance. They'd say it's all based in fantasy and I'm just playing a game of "Match." You just match up information. It would be just something to pass the time.
There's so much data that people pass over because they're not looking for it. Kidn of like how you can have a really nice person who could be a great companion and significant other, but you just completely overlook them as a potential mate because you're not looking and don't see it in them.
What if it turned out that God has been speaking to people for a millenium, and I'm just someone who noticed he was saying something, and now he's rewarding me for having been open-minded and made the leap of faith? Even if it's all just mere coincidence, what's the big deal? Aren't people allowed to think?
It's not like I was hurting anyone. Even celticblissy will admit that she knows I'm not psychotic. She'd refer to me as "obsessive," but psychotic and obsessive are two different things. Obsession is where you think about someone a lot. Psychotic is when you're violent about it. Bliss may get annoyed with me when she thinks I send her too much E-mail, but even she knows that I'm not violent or psychotic.
This is why I said that nobody ever loves anyone deeply or passionately anymore because you'll most likely get punished for having that depth of love. It will just be seen as obsessive if the other person doesn't share the same passion that you do. That's why Nice Guys always get dumped or passed over because we're seen as being clingy and obsessive. We throw our entire heart into things, but when women get tired of it or feel they're getting smothered, they'll push Nice Guys away.
That's what Bliss did to me. I was loyal. I was faithful. However, she felt like she was being smothered. So what did she do? She created an alternate alias with Kara without my knowledge. Was she obligated to inform me? No, of course not. However, I thought she was affectionate and being monogamous. I was believing in something false. Had I known that she was playing with other men behind my back, I would've reacted differently.
Maybe it would've meant I would've broken up with her or we would've had an argument about it. However, it would've confronted the problem rather than allowing me to go on THINKING that things were okay. That's why I say that Bliss is not as innocent in this as the other side thinks she is. She plays the wounded victim and everyone rallies around her as the oppressed victim, but she is the one who started the chain of events.
If she had just told me she wanted to be with other men, I may have been hurt by it, but at least I would've known. Maybe I would've gotten mad and stomped off, but it's certainly better than being led on. Lies of Omission where you know that the person would be unhappy or their behavior would change if they knew what was really going on is a lie of omission.
I stopped trusting her. You place all this love, faith, and trust in someone and you find out that she's been lying to you for three months. She would log on as Kara, and I would have a conversation with her not knowing it was Bliss. What kind of relationship is that? She should've broken it off with me and just ended it. However, she couldn't. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too. She wanted to be able to have sex with other men and still keep me as a friend.
Not that it matters now because she's totally dogging me and siccing all her friends on me. She gets up on her soap box proclaiming how she's banned me here and there and has decided to terminate contact with me. She's blocked my E-mail. She takes on this righteous holier-than-thou attitude, which is so hypocritical.
She was complaining about how that one person online is harassing her by saying that she's tired of hearing Bliss bitch and moan about being broke all the time. I said to Bliss via E-mail (politely) that I can see why. She spends all her time on Haven and is unemployed and is pining over wanting to be with Ravenshade who lives in Missouri while she's in England.
You can't run Haven, as a chat place, and then moan about how you're unemployed and have no money. If she really wanted to get out of her situation, she would shut Haven down and go get a job. Even if it meant digging ditches. It's not very flattering, but it will still put money on the table.
Like I said, she could've gone into jewelry because her mom has a friend who owns a jewelry store, but Bliss doesn't want to do sales or be a salesperson. Bliss is being finicky. If you don't want to do sales and you don't have any other job and you're running a Haven Community that doesn't pay you anything, are you really spending your time wisely?
That's why I think she's a hypocrite to tell me to go and get my head examined with a shrink. I think she should go take her own advice. She should get her own head examined because she's just as guilty as me. She's been OBSESSING over Ravenshade since January 2001. Jamie is someone whom she's never met in real life. The same way that I used to care deeply for Bliss whom I'd never met and was 3,000 miles away, she pines over Ravenshade the SAME EXACT WAY I pined over her.
However, notice that when a guy pines and obsesses over a woman, he's branded as a psychotic stalker. When a girl does the exact same thing, you don't see that. Because no one ever sees a woman as a threat. With a guy, they see aggression and mental instability. It's total gender bias and discrimination. Bliss would spend all her time waiting online for Ravenshade to log on the same way I would with her. Because Ravenshade's schedule was chaotic, Bliss would never know when Ravenshade would connect. So she'd stay online all the time.
I did the same thing for Bliss. However, Bliss got tired of it and felt she was being smothered. So she would use another AOL Screen Name to hide. Is she entitled to privacy? Of course. However, she didn't have the courage to just come out and say it. So why should she play the victim and make me out to be the bad guy? She wouldn't confront me. She has avoidant behavior and doesn't like conflict.
If you don't like conflict and choose not to say anything, you cede your right to complain about anything. She walks around like a Goddess. Before me, she had no Haven. Could she have gotten someone else to set it up for her on a server? Probably, but she was waiting on other people. That's how she is. She just sits and waits. She talks about how she's too scared to go in for a business loan at a bank.
She doesn't talk to her dad who's a successful business owner. If Bliss was SMART, she would've swallowed her pride and asked her dad for business advice on how to set up one. I bet the dad would've been supportive. However, she doesn't. Now she's aging. She'll be 29 in May. And what has she done with her life? She's sitting on line pining over some woman she's never met.
I loved Bliss and even told her I would've flown to England for her. I told her flat out that I'd give up my U.S. Citizenship and relocate to another country for her to make it work, but she didn't want me. Has Ravenshade ever done that? Last time I talked to Bliss, Ravenshade hasn't really told her family that she's a lesbian. Has that changed yet?
I don't know what's going on in Bliss' life, but I can definitely tell you that I've grown WAY more than she has, especially in the last year. I know much more than I did earlier and it was through blood, sweat, toil, and tears. I put up with a whole bunch of crap and discrimination. I've had to cross mental barriers that few have ever done, and it paid off.
That's why I won't sit here and put up with Gwendolen's crap. Especially if she's sitting there snooping my Journal. She was calling my bluff. All I'm doing is just making her eat her words. This is just to show how NASTY people who are closed minded can be. They'll go off on you about things they know nothing about.
Besides, even when it comes to Gwendolen's message about leaving her alone, it's still my Journal. I can talk about Bliss if I want. In fact, I'm very nice about it. The stuff I was talking about regarding Bliss was nice stuff. I wasn't slandering her. The stuff I talked about was regarding strange phenomenon. On top of that, everyone just assumed I was just spouting gibberish. It never occurred to them that what I've been seeing and experiencing is actually real when it comes to the things that have been happening around me.
When you say about what's going on around you, that's stating an opinion and people can make inferences from it. Is it possible to lie about things that you say are happening? Sure. That's why I like posting in my Journal and showing the links made by third parties. It's not mine. It's been VERIFIED by someone else.
The difference between all the people accusing me of being psycho and me is that I can point to actual data. I can give hyperlinks to documentation that validates people's births and deaths. I can point to actual movies that have had theatrical releases, who starred in them, and the year. That's real data.
The people who are going off on me are basing it off of what someone told them. It's from what they heard from Bliss and they just assume that Bliss is a credible source. It's just an OPINION. It's an opinion she got from Sky. Which is an OPINION she got from Isabella. Which is an OPINION she got from Charlie.
Even when Gwendolen goes off on me in here about trying too hard to find coincidences, at least they're true statements. Sure, they may hint toward something, but I didn't lie. Movies were produced that year. Sharon Thomas IS Dean Cain's mother. Teri Hatcher IS born on December 8th. John Wayne WAS born on the 29th. Tyrone Power DID die on November 15th. MY information can be VALIDATED.
That's what makes my assumptions and theories stronger. They're more fact-based than that of Gwendolen, Bliss, Charlie, Sky, and Isabella.
That's why it's such a huge insult to have them go off on me about this. Like I said, in a court of law, I would totally stomp on all of them and make them look like asses. It's a joke having them say that I'm the one who needs to see a shrink. I've been experiencing this for over a year now.
If they don't believe me or want to listen, fine. But as long as I'm complying with the law and not physically hurting anybody, people should mind their own damn business. If you don't like what someone is writing about you, DON'T READ IT. Stop visiting that person's Journal. Paparazzi go off on Celebrities in Tabloids all the time. THey think that just because I'm not a celebrity or a star, they can go off on me and tell me that I should go seek help.
That's why we live in such a skewed society. If I was a billionaire and was behaving this way, you wouldn't see them acting all nasty toward me. They'd be giving me respect because they'd see that I'm successful. That just goes to show how people covet money. That's not how it's supposed to be. You're not supposed to be respectful toward people simply because they're rich.
That's why the rich mistreat everyone. Everyone's always kissing their asses. The rest of the masses want to be close to people who have money, power, or fame. So they worship and idolize those people and treat others with nothing like dirt. Everyone just assumed that I have nothing. My value and worth is intangible, and I didn't deserve the mistreatment, discrimination, and crap that got dumped on me over the last year all because some idiot didn't want to look at the facts submitted that proved I was innocent and take back his decision when all the data pointed to me being completely harmless.
That's why I don't place faith in society. Society messes up people because it tells them how to think and feel. If you don't fit the mold of that society, you'll get kicked out. Everyone will turn against you and your friends who don't want to cause conflict will also distance themselves from you.
You're on your own.
That's the one thing I learned from all this. You find out who your real friends are. You find out who's real and who's fake. You find out who's superficial and who has true depth of soul. True friends stick by you no matter what anyone says about you.
However, that's why I said that no one ever truly loves with depth and passion anymore because they'll get punished. Everyone else is too practical and logical. You can't be passionate about someone without being categorized as obsessive. That's why people are cautious when it comes to expressing love and never love fully. They never love with their entire heart and soul.
Bliss thinks she knows what it's like. However, her true test of love will be when Ravenshade turns her back on Bliss and spits in her face. I'd like to see how long Bliss would last if Ravenshade turned completely nasty toward her, told her to stop being obsessive, accused her of being a freak, and was playing with other women behind Bliss' back.
That's what Bliss did to me, and I held out for years and still maintained a high opinion of her through it all. Even when she didn't deserve it. Bliss had something really good and she let it slip away. I was the one who was supportive of her the entire time and worried about her. If she was ever broke, I would've mailed her money. She just wouldn't accept it from me because she's so stubborn.
1 From: Gwendolen At: Sat Apr 02 02:22:58 2005
Fldr : 0 Status: Unread
To : Stryder
Subject: Oh my goddess
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are utterly insane. You've lost it. Every single thought in your head is completely *gone*. People keep telling you that you need to see a psychiatrist, don't they? You probably just smile or laugh, knowing that you are right and they are wrong. Has it ever occurred to you THAT YOU ARE SICK? NATURALLY if you are how you are, you're going to deny your faults, but for the sake of all that's good, get some blasted help, you blubbering imbecile! All of the points you raised in your journal? Those are god damned coincidences, and you're absolutely DIGGING for them. You can't LOOK for coincidences then claim they're there in the name of your confounded powers. Get a life! There is no gain in looking up a name, a name that I chose simply to RP, a name that holds NO BEARING on ME or WHO I AM, and then think there's ANY CONCRETE RELEVANCE TO *ANYTHING*. And dragging Bliss's name through your journal is NOT leaving her alone. GOD DAMMIT, LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOUR PSYCHOTIC SHIT ANY MORE THAN I WANT TO KNOW IT EXISTS.