You've Become What I Hate, Sold Yourself For A Bit Of Fame: Chapter Thirty-Six
Summary: Alex has just moved for the last of many times to Dulaney High school. He has decided that this is the year and school that he will try and become "popular" but if that happened would it be a bad thing? And will finding a new friend, that may think of him as more, also affect it?....
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, sadly. Title goes to Bite My Tongue-You Me At Six, Cut goes to For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic-Paramore
A/N: At the End
Masterpost
Chapter Thirty-Six
Two days later, Josh went to visit Alex again. He went alone this time and when he walked into the room his heart sunk at the blonde's initial excitement turning to disappointment.
“Hey, Josh.” He said, sounding as disappointed as his face let on.
“Hi, Alex. How are you today?” He asked cautiously.
The other English boy sighed, “I'm fine. I really don't understand why I'm still here. I mean, I feel perfectly healthy. But that weird doctor said that I wouldn't understand because it had something to do with wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey or something like that. I swear he's not a real doctor.”
Josh chuckled, he knew exactly the man that Alex was talking about, the same man that had introduced himself the night Alex had been checked in.
The two talked about nothing much for a while, both knew that they were just talking to fill the silence, neither actually cared about the conversation they were having.
But then Alex decided to shift the conversation to one that left Josh completely caught off guard.
“Josh. What you said last time, that Jack wasn't going to visit. You meant that day, right? You just meant he wasn't coming that day. He'll be here today though, right?”
The blue-eyed boy sighed, he really should be used to sharing horrible news by now, he looked Alex right in the hopeful face and said, “No, Alex. I meant, he wasn't coming Monday, he isn't coming today. He isn't coming down here, ever.”
The blonde bit his lip, looking lost, like he couldn't completely grasp what Josh was saying, “But. But, I mean, he's Jack. Of course he's going to come see me. He's going to come and I'm going to apologise and then we're going to be fine again. That's how it is. That's how it always is.”
At this, Josh felt an unexpected surge of anger rack through him. Alex couldn’t say things like that. Like Jack was obviously going to go crawling back to him because that's who he was. No. The blonde had used Jack, broken promises, and been an all around shit friend. Josh had to say something.
Trying to control the volume of his voice he said, “No, Alex. Not this time. He isn't coming.”
The blonde just wasn't having it though, in a voice that suggested he was stating the obvious, he said, “Josh. This is ridiculous. Of course he is. He aalways does. He's my best friend!”
Josh lost it then, “Alex! Look at yourself! You're in a hospital bed after a cocaine overdose and you still think that Jack is just going to come running back to you and lick your wounds?! You think you can just win him over again with a pretty smile and false words?! Frankly, I'm glad that he's decided that he's not going to come. I don't want him to be hurt again because I'M the one who's going to have to pick up the pieces. Again. At least now he's realised that the best thing for him is to stay away!”
Alex looked at him mouth open in shock, “How dare you! He's my best friend. I'd never hurt him. I never have.”
Josh was fuming, he scoffed. “Really, Alex? Is that what you think? Well, you're wrong. Trust me. You're wrong. He's come crying to me over things that you, his supposed best friend has done to upset him more times than I'd like to think. You're blind! You've been blinded by that god damn “popularity”. And you haven't even realised it.” His voice got softer, “You haven't even realised that Jack was the best thing that ever happened to you and you lost him. You let him slip through your fingers. He loved you. He really loved you, even after countless times that you did something stupid. I tried to talk him out of this “love” but he's stubborn. Finally, he's seen sense and he's decided the best thing for him and what he wants. Maybe you should do the same.”
Alex opened his mouth to reply but before he could get anything out, Josh turned around and quickly walked out the door.
The blonde closed his mouth, flopped back onto his bed, and groaned. Already, everything that Josh had said was swirling around restlessly in his head.
He leaned across the bed and pressed the button that called the nurse in. When she entered he asked for something to help him sleep, and much to his relief, she gave him what he wanted.
~
“You did what?”
“I'm sorry. I-I just lost it. Like, I don't even know why! It's just, he needs to understand that he's not been acting how a normal person acts, how he used to act. And he was saying these things that implied you were some clingy lap dog that came crawling back to him at his call! It just wasn't right.”
Jack looked at Josh thoughtfully. He was sitting on his bed with his school work spread out around him and watching the English boy as he paced next to him.
“Huh.”
Josh stopped pacing and looked at the boy sitting on his bed incredulously. “Huh? That's all you're gonna say?”
Jack raised an eyebrow, “What do you want me to say?”
Josh gestured his arms about him, for no purpose other than to express what he was feeling. Jack was showing little to now emotion, he was acting like he didn't even care. “I don't know! Something? Don't you care at all?”
The Lebanese boy shrugged, “I don't know. I guess. Josh, I told you. He's not my problem any more. I'm not going to worry about him or things that happen with him any more. It's time to think of myself for once.”
Josh sighed, “All right, well, okay then. I guess that's that.”
“Yup.”
The English boy looked over at Jack, who responded by mirroring his gaze. “I better go. I have homework of my own to do. I'll see you tomorrow.”
Jack nodded, “Yeah, see ya.”
The minute that the door clicked shut behind Josh, Jack let out a breath. Each day it was getting harder and harder to keep from breaking. He thought he was doing pretty well at making Josh think that he honestly didn't care about Alex one way or the other, but he also thought that the blue-eyed boy had some doubts.
And he was was right to have those doubts. Jack actually did care about Alex. Of course he did. But he figured that if he kept telling Josh, Alex and most importantly, himself, that he didn't care then maybe, just maybe it would work. Jack would stop caring. He was aware that it was kind of a long shot, but it was the only plan he had so he was going to stick to it.
He desperately wanted to visit Alex in hospital. He wanted to run down there and make sure that the blonde was getting better. But, a bigger, more sensible part of him was making sure that Jack didn't go. And the Lebanese boy was kind of relieved because he didn't know how he would react to seeing Alex all hooked up to all sorts of tubes and wires, it wouldn't be good.
Jack just hoped that if he was gonna stop caring and feeling that it would happen soon because he knew, just knew that if he stopped caring his life would get back on track.
xxxxxx
A/N: I'm freaking out right now because I just got my AP magazine in the post and the All Time Low article is brilliant and Alex confirmed what I had previously thought was true, that Don't Panic was named after Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, and that's one of my favourite books ever. So yeah, pretty big moment for me. Enjoy the update humans!
Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, sadly. Title goes to Bite My Tongue-You Me At Six, Cut goes to For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic-Paramore
A/N: At the End
Masterpost
Chapter Thirty-Six
Two days later, Josh went to visit Alex again. He went alone this time and when he walked into the room his heart sunk at the blonde's initial excitement turning to disappointment.
“Hey, Josh.” He said, sounding as disappointed as his face let on.
“Hi, Alex. How are you today?” He asked cautiously.
The other English boy sighed, “I'm fine. I really don't understand why I'm still here. I mean, I feel perfectly healthy. But that weird doctor said that I wouldn't understand because it had something to do with wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey or something like that. I swear he's not a real doctor.”
Josh chuckled, he knew exactly the man that Alex was talking about, the same man that had introduced himself the night Alex had been checked in.
The two talked about nothing much for a while, both knew that they were just talking to fill the silence, neither actually cared about the conversation they were having.
But then Alex decided to shift the conversation to one that left Josh completely caught off guard.
“Josh. What you said last time, that Jack wasn't going to visit. You meant that day, right? You just meant he wasn't coming that day. He'll be here today though, right?”
The blue-eyed boy sighed, he really should be used to sharing horrible news by now, he looked Alex right in the hopeful face and said, “No, Alex. I meant, he wasn't coming Monday, he isn't coming today. He isn't coming down here, ever.”
The blonde bit his lip, looking lost, like he couldn't completely grasp what Josh was saying, “But. But, I mean, he's Jack. Of course he's going to come see me. He's going to come and I'm going to apologise and then we're going to be fine again. That's how it is. That's how it always is.”
At this, Josh felt an unexpected surge of anger rack through him. Alex couldn’t say things like that. Like Jack was obviously going to go crawling back to him because that's who he was. No. The blonde had used Jack, broken promises, and been an all around shit friend. Josh had to say something.
Trying to control the volume of his voice he said, “No, Alex. Not this time. He isn't coming.”
The blonde just wasn't having it though, in a voice that suggested he was stating the obvious, he said, “Josh. This is ridiculous. Of course he is. He aalways does. He's my best friend!”
Josh lost it then, “Alex! Look at yourself! You're in a hospital bed after a cocaine overdose and you still think that Jack is just going to come running back to you and lick your wounds?! You think you can just win him over again with a pretty smile and false words?! Frankly, I'm glad that he's decided that he's not going to come. I don't want him to be hurt again because I'M the one who's going to have to pick up the pieces. Again. At least now he's realised that the best thing for him is to stay away!”
Alex looked at him mouth open in shock, “How dare you! He's my best friend. I'd never hurt him. I never have.”
Josh was fuming, he scoffed. “Really, Alex? Is that what you think? Well, you're wrong. Trust me. You're wrong. He's come crying to me over things that you, his supposed best friend has done to upset him more times than I'd like to think. You're blind! You've been blinded by that god damn “popularity”. And you haven't even realised it.” His voice got softer, “You haven't even realised that Jack was the best thing that ever happened to you and you lost him. You let him slip through your fingers. He loved you. He really loved you, even after countless times that you did something stupid. I tried to talk him out of this “love” but he's stubborn. Finally, he's seen sense and he's decided the best thing for him and what he wants. Maybe you should do the same.”
Alex opened his mouth to reply but before he could get anything out, Josh turned around and quickly walked out the door.
The blonde closed his mouth, flopped back onto his bed, and groaned. Already, everything that Josh had said was swirling around restlessly in his head.
He leaned across the bed and pressed the button that called the nurse in. When she entered he asked for something to help him sleep, and much to his relief, she gave him what he wanted.
~
“You did what?”
“I'm sorry. I-I just lost it. Like, I don't even know why! It's just, he needs to understand that he's not been acting how a normal person acts, how he used to act. And he was saying these things that implied you were some clingy lap dog that came crawling back to him at his call! It just wasn't right.”
Jack looked at Josh thoughtfully. He was sitting on his bed with his school work spread out around him and watching the English boy as he paced next to him.
“Huh.”
Josh stopped pacing and looked at the boy sitting on his bed incredulously. “Huh? That's all you're gonna say?”
Jack raised an eyebrow, “What do you want me to say?”
Josh gestured his arms about him, for no purpose other than to express what he was feeling. Jack was showing little to now emotion, he was acting like he didn't even care. “I don't know! Something? Don't you care at all?”
The Lebanese boy shrugged, “I don't know. I guess. Josh, I told you. He's not my problem any more. I'm not going to worry about him or things that happen with him any more. It's time to think of myself for once.”
Josh sighed, “All right, well, okay then. I guess that's that.”
“Yup.”
The English boy looked over at Jack, who responded by mirroring his gaze. “I better go. I have homework of my own to do. I'll see you tomorrow.”
Jack nodded, “Yeah, see ya.”
The minute that the door clicked shut behind Josh, Jack let out a breath. Each day it was getting harder and harder to keep from breaking. He thought he was doing pretty well at making Josh think that he honestly didn't care about Alex one way or the other, but he also thought that the blue-eyed boy had some doubts.
And he was was right to have those doubts. Jack actually did care about Alex. Of course he did. But he figured that if he kept telling Josh, Alex and most importantly, himself, that he didn't care then maybe, just maybe it would work. Jack would stop caring. He was aware that it was kind of a long shot, but it was the only plan he had so he was going to stick to it.
He desperately wanted to visit Alex in hospital. He wanted to run down there and make sure that the blonde was getting better. But, a bigger, more sensible part of him was making sure that Jack didn't go. And the Lebanese boy was kind of relieved because he didn't know how he would react to seeing Alex all hooked up to all sorts of tubes and wires, it wouldn't be good.
Jack just hoped that if he was gonna stop caring and feeling that it would happen soon because he knew, just knew that if he stopped caring his life would get back on track.
xxxxxx
A/N: I'm freaking out right now because I just got my AP magazine in the post and the All Time Low article is brilliant and Alex confirmed what I had previously thought was true, that Don't Panic was named after Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, and that's one of my favourite books ever. So yeah, pretty big moment for me. Enjoy the update humans!
Thanks for reading!