The enormous circumference of my belly
With a view to implementing a new lard-busting regime with never-before-seen determination and vigour, I hauled out my electronic scales this morning and stood on them: 14st 6lbs. 'That cannae be right', I thought, so I stood on them again: 14st 2lbs. 'That definitely cannae be right', I thought, so I stood on them again: 14st 13lbs! So they're just about as accurate and useful as I'd suspected. Indeed, I'd be surprised if I'm anything less than 15 stone, such is the enormous circumference of my belly at the present juncture. I have therefore deemed the scales to be bin-fodder, and I think a visit to Argos later today will be in order.
Seen on Facebook today.