FIC: "Double Walker" (1/2) - Iron Man (movieverse), Tony/Pepper, R

[roboticonograph]

Author's notes: This is for neptunesubmerge as part of the its_always_been fandom exchange. I wasn't quite able to get this finished by the deadline, but Part Two is coming very soon, I promise!

"Double walker" is the literal translation for doppleganger.

The character of Henry Hellrung is borrowed from the comics, but only barely. Any resemblance to the real Henry Hellrung is

Comments

[roboticonograph]

Glad you liked it! I hope to have the second part finished very soon.

[neptunesubmerge]

I am going to try and collect my thoughts here for all to see. I'm kind of on an emotional overload here, so it won't be pretty

[roboticonograph]

Well, thank you for the original prompt that made this possible. And thanks for your comments--it's so rewarding to know that you get what I'm trying to do here, especially since, you know, the story is a gift for you.

Cheers!

I'm gonna talk more, deal with it!

[neptunesubmerge]

I really like the way you make pencil sharpening sound like a cigarette addiction.

Tony's a really physical person in terms of how he communicates, so I like that there's a lot of defination insofar as what he communicates when touching Pepper and how that changes. The way his facial expressions are sublty conveyed express a lot, too. We're never told what he's feeling or what expressions he's making, just the things he reacts to, the things he doesn't and how long it takes to recover.

Dialog

[neptunesubmerge]

I'm going to be honest with you: generally, when I read a fic, I skip to the dialog. If I like the character voices, I go back to the beginning and start again. The way characters talk is very important to me. It's what gets me into a story. This story is pretty light on conversation, but your narration is so smooth and natural that it doesn't even matter. (I never skip to the talking with your stories, ever. Just so you know.) And what dialog there is is very effective at expressing what needs to happen. In this fandom, I think we get carried away with the banter and the back-and-forth of Tony and Pepper. You aren't really going there, so everything they say is meaningful.

I think it is adorable that Henry calls Pepper "Miss Moneypenny." That he's giving her a nickname shows closeness (or that he's trying to be close) and there are definite Moneypenny/Bond Pepper/Tony parallels.

“Go bug someone else, Potts,” he says absently, licking his finger to turn one of the robin’s-egg-blue pages. “I don’t have time for this, I’m

[spockside]

Eloquently done. (Extra admiration for explaining the dumb "Tony doesn't like to be handed things" point in IM2 that went nowhere.) I've been missing your sense of timing and spot-on characters.

Onward!

[roboticonograph]

Onward and upward!