A Poem

[roberts_muse]

Here is a little poem I wrote. I actually write poetry quite often--I just never post them. Today, for some reason, I felt like sharing.

Comments

[rivetc]

Several thoughts come to mind, none of them happy, not surprisingly. A seemingly serious poem. Should we we worried or are you just channeling your emotions?

*hugs*

[roberts_muse]

I'm more or less channeling my emotions. My poetry is never happy--I'm only able to write when I'm seriously depressed. This was inspired by a fight I had with my husband and a general unhappiness with my marriage and life in general. I'm often violent in my writing, but not in my real life. I suffer from Depression, but have been on medication for 9 years. I've been suicidal, but never acted upon it. When I get that way, I tend to just lie in bed and cry a lot and just wish for death. But, thanks to my animals, I can't stay that way for long and I have to get on with my life. They keep me sane and give me a reason to continue to exist.

Thanks for your concern. It means a lot.

[fuji_fujiwara]

Before reading your reply to rivetc I was about to write that despite the despair and hopelessnes you obviously feel, still it's a positive thing that you're able to express and in a way exorcise them in words, in a poem. Now it relieves me to read that you don't actually act upon your negative tendencies. When you say I have to get on with my life what you say is "I choose life anyway" and that the most important thing. And I just love the reason you give for your choice, that you have to and want to take care of your animals. That's tender. As long as you worry for creatures that depend on you, you reveal your attachment to life. And try to not fight with your husband if you can. It surely makes him unhappy too and makes things worse for your couple... *hugs*

[rivetc]

I'm glad to know you're channeling those thoughts. Animals are wonderful and natural healers, I'm glad you have them around you they must be such a comfort.

I've always kind of wondered whether depression can be hereditary. My mum suffered from it but I'm not sure if she always had or if it was bought on by something in particular. I think didn't know I had it when I was younger. It's not severe enough to warrant medication but I do get those real down moments that are so hard to pull out of. You wonder where was that great feeling you had earlier, that I can do anything, and in the blink of an eye, it seems impossible. It was brave of you to share your poetry, thank you.