The Greens v2.0 - Generation 2.3
Previously: Styles was the favourite, Nine turned to Satan and Kaufman joined the family.
Let us begin this update with Kaufman being adorable and looking slightly emo.
Kaufman: BLOCKS!
Kaufman: *eats them all*
roadtogreen: Um, Fids? Your wife just bathed him.
Fiddler: But then he touched those blocks and now he's filthy!
Kaufman: Someone? Help me?
Kaufman: Wow, Daddy. I didn't know you could speak in pictures.
Attempting to beat her parents at chess has become Styles's new favourite hobby.
But being a bitch to her siblings is still a very, very close second.
Oh hey there, Nine. I see you out there, trying to freeze to death.
But that's okay because you officially just built the first nice snowman that I've seen in ages.
Meanwhile, Slack comes out to get the mail and sets it down in the snow in order to discuss money with a random walk-by.
Only to run for her life when he did this. Holy shit, son!
Slack: *goes out to buy some electronics*
Kid: Oh my gaaaawd! Your dad was totally my sugardaddy for a while there!
Slack: Oh my gaaaawd, if you ever say something like that again, I'll break your pretty face.
Slack: *plays with Kaufman in the bathroom*
Walk-by: *still here. still creepy.*
That's it. When you start attracting stalkers, it's time to head off to the uni bin.
Just in time to miss the twins' birthday. Awesome.
I give you Lilith Morningstar Nine Green.
Asp: Knowledge/Popularity
Stats: 6-5-7-8-4
T-Ons: Full-face make-up/Blond hair
T-Offs: Hard worker
LTW: Become Head of SCIA
And Styles Green.
Asp: Popularity/Knowledge
Stats: 6-5-7-6-4
T-Ons: Glasses/Charismatic
T-Offs: Fitness
LTW: Become Rock God
Now for a lesson in potty training.
Because the real secret is to insert the child into your own bladder.
And now for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
A family meal? Are you serious? :O
Fiddler and Laurel: *still threebolters, by the way*
Sweet, guys. But there are more important things going on tonight.
Like the headmaster's visit!
Styles: Are you sure he won't notice the drugs we slipped into his food?
Nine: Shut up. It doesn't look any different from ours. He won't even suspect.
Headmaster: Hmm. I'm feeling just a little bit woobity.
What you can't see is the fact that those schmooze points were at 0 until he wandered into Fiddler and Laurel's bedroom. And had a lovely little conversation with Laurel. While she was dressed in her underwear.
HELL YEAH. Go ahead and celebrate, bb. You've earned it this time.
Fiddler: This is the last time I have to do this, right?
Kaufman: Better be. I am content in my position as baby of the family.
They may be a relatively happy family but no one can accuse them of being any good at birthdays.
Who needs to pay attention to the birthday boy, right?
I admit. I only took this picture because I thought this face was cute.
And now I'm done keeping you waiting. Meet kiddy Kaufman and his super freckley nose.
Fiddler: Hi, son!
Kaufman: Dad. Dad, do you see this? I got a B. I only got a B.
Nine: Aww. How sweet. So nice to see old people in love.
Nine: If only they'd stop it once in a while.
Styles: *surfs net for scholarship opportunities*
Family study session!
Kaufman: School! I fucking love school! Learning things is made of awesome!
Styles: What the fuck? School? What is wrong with you?
Kaufman: ... D: *minus*
Yes, Nine, the whole juggling coffee cups thing is cute. But not cute enough to make me want two generations of knowledge sim in a row. You'll have to try harder than that.
Styles: Ha. *makes bed* Beat you to it.
Kaufman: You know Mom and Dad don't decide the heir, right?
Laurel's swoons are so powerful that they take on physical mass, thereby allowing her to meld with the sink.
And apparently that time of oneness with the plumbing didn't end there.
Pedo Bus Driver: Bye bye, Kaufman!
Kaufman: *wonders if his parents might consider moving to a different bus route*
Booyah! \o/
In his platinumdom, Fiddler has taken to being an even more adorable father.
He even reads his teenaged twins to sleep.
Anyway, the only problem was that he started spending all of his spare time stalking his kids soooo I dug him a pond.
Nice, Fiddler. Very nice.
His wife in her underwear is apparently his good luck charm.
Fiddler: Laurel! Look! I caught a fish!
Laurel: That's nice, dear. *practices supermodel poses*
I just realized that this shot makes Laurel look like she has rather enormous bosoms. The point here, however, was actually to make note of the fact that she is addicted to financial counseling.
Work that claw, baby. Work it.
roadtogreen: ...Fiddler? What are you doing?
Fiddler: Certainly not using jumproping to disguise the stalking of my wife! :D
Right. Anyway. So. Everyone started wanting a puppy or kitten and I wanted to start up my pet legacy. The result?
A tiny! A tiny by the name of Romero.
She's adorable and also makes a habit of wanting to be were ever the most people are. Never mind the fact that there's a bed just a couple rooms away.
Kaufman: *jumps on bed! ...for five seconds.*
Kaufman: *runs off to take a shower and subsequently clean the tub*
And now it's time for a double birthday!
Kaufman: I am going to wish to be awesome forever.
Officially the most well-synchronized birthday EVER.
And here we are. One geriatric Fiddler!
And one suave motherfu--er...Kaufman Green.
Asp: Romance/Knowledge
Stats: 9-10-3-3-6
T-Ons: Custom hair/Unemployed
T-Offs: Athletic
LTW: Become Celebrity Chef
It's nice to know that age doesn't make a difference to their love.
No difference at all.
Not that it really matters, since Laurel's birthday followed not far behind.
And then? Then I got bored and sent the remaining teens off to college, entirely failing to snap shots of Nine or Styles but remembering to get one of Kaufman for one reason and one reason only.
...
Pedo Bus Driver: Why Kaufman. We meet again.
;ALWEJF;LSDVAS RUN, BB. RUN. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMNED TAXI AND RUN.