Why the BSG Wardrobe Dept Hates Jamie Bamber
The wardrobe departments of television shows and motion pictures have a very thankless job. They make people look lovely... sexy... professional... skanky... whatever fits that part. A great deal of thought goes into style, color, textures, etc. Fabrics. Prints. Trim. All of it gets very careful consideration before an actor ever goes in for a fitting. Once a costume is finalized, the wardrobe department then must make multiple copies of each outfit, especially if it's a costume that a character will be wearing day after day week after week, month after... oh, you get it. Take for example, the military blues worn by the officers on Battlestar Galactica. Some characters have never worn anything other than this simple military uniform, modeled here by the hottie of hotties, Jamie Bamber.
Note the careful detailing that has gone into the construction of this very realistic-looking yet still original military-style costume. And of course... the fit is most important. This costume must be worn by both men and ladies of all shapes and sizes... but we only care about how well it fits Jamie. Careful measurements must be taken to ensure proper fit across shoulders [swoon]...chest [squee!]... biceps [pant pant]... must stop now before hyperventilating. Now since Jamie must wear this costume on very frequent occasions, many copies must be made to precise measurements so that Jamie doesn't have to wear the exact same pair of pants and shirt day after day, week after week, month after... oh, you get it. Lil' thing like BO becomes a big problem if you don't have spares. Jamie also tends to be hard on his costumes. He gets into fights, he bleeds, he sweats [swoon!]... all those things that are hard on the laundry. So the wardrobe department must be sure to have plenty of spare copies on hand for Jamie, all made just to fit according to his measurements.
Then Jamie goes and changes his measurements.
Exhibit A: Jamie in promotional picture taken early in 2005.
Niiiiiiice. Buff. Very drool worthy.
Exhibit B: Jamie in scene from "Black Market" filmed in late Summer 2005.
Note the increased definition and size of shoulders [swoon]... chest [squee!]... biceps [pant pant}... must stop now before hyperventilating.
Now all of this is lovely for viewers to look at, but the poor beleagured wardrobe department must change all of Jamie's costumes to accomodate his altered measurements. These poor people who never receive recognition for their tireless efforts at helping actors look hot must contend with cast members who not only destroy their work onscreen on a regular basis, but also alter their measurements when they aren't onscreen.
Thus comes my conclusion: the wardrobe department must hate Jamie Bamber for constantly making them turn out new copies of his costume and continually refitting him. And so, out of the very goodness of my heart, I hearby volunteer to lend my aid and assistance in their efforts. On the next occasion when it becomes necessary to redetermine the exact size of those shoulders [swoon]... the chest [squee!]... biceps [pant pant]... and all other portions of the Bamber anatomy, please call me, and I shall be on the first plane to Vancouver with tape measure in hand ready to do my part!
Note the careful detailing that has gone into the construction of this very realistic-looking yet still original military-style costume. And of course... the fit is most important. This costume must be worn by both men and ladies of all shapes and sizes... but we only care about how well it fits Jamie. Careful measurements must be taken to ensure proper fit across shoulders [swoon]...chest [squee!]... biceps [pant pant]... must stop now before hyperventilating. Now since Jamie must wear this costume on very frequent occasions, many copies must be made to precise measurements so that Jamie doesn't have to wear the exact same pair of pants and shirt day after day, week after week, month after... oh, you get it. Lil' thing like BO becomes a big problem if you don't have spares. Jamie also tends to be hard on his costumes. He gets into fights, he bleeds, he sweats [swoon!]... all those things that are hard on the laundry. So the wardrobe department must be sure to have plenty of spare copies on hand for Jamie, all made just to fit according to his measurements.
Then Jamie goes and changes his measurements.
Exhibit A: Jamie in promotional picture taken early in 2005.
Niiiiiiice. Buff. Very drool worthy.
Exhibit B: Jamie in scene from "Black Market" filmed in late Summer 2005.
Note the increased definition and size of shoulders [swoon]... chest [squee!]... biceps [pant pant}... must stop now before hyperventilating.
Now all of this is lovely for viewers to look at, but the poor beleagured wardrobe department must change all of Jamie's costumes to accomodate his altered measurements. These poor people who never receive recognition for their tireless efforts at helping actors look hot must contend with cast members who not only destroy their work onscreen on a regular basis, but also alter their measurements when they aren't onscreen.
Thus comes my conclusion: the wardrobe department must hate Jamie Bamber for constantly making them turn out new copies of his costume and continually refitting him. And so, out of the very goodness of my heart, I hearby volunteer to lend my aid and assistance in their efforts. On the next occasion when it becomes necessary to redetermine the exact size of those shoulders [swoon]... the chest [squee!]... biceps [pant pant]... and all other portions of the Bamber anatomy, please call me, and I shall be on the first plane to Vancouver with tape measure in hand ready to do my part!