RP: Who Can Say For Certain
Date: Sunday, 19 May 1999 | Early Morning
Characters: Ginny Weasley
Location: The Burrow
Status: Private
Summary: Ginny visits Fred's grave.
Completion: Complete
Ginny crept down the stairs and cursed at the fifth stair from the bottom because it always creaked. She stood still, wondering if anyone would come to investigate the person coming down the stairs. When she was sure no one had paid her the least bit of attention, she slinked through the ground floor and out the door.
A light drizzle fell from the mass of grey clouds hanging over the town. It was the sort of rain that was more of an annoyance than anything else. She thought of casting an Impervious Charm on herself but decided it didn't really matter.
Ginny made her way to Fred's grave, feeling every step hit the soft ground slower than the one before until at last she stood before the slab of rock. She stood there for a few passing minutes. Then at last she sighed and let her legs give way so she was kneeling on the ground.
"Hey," she said in a voice that trembled less than she imagined it would have. She toyed with a piece of grass and wondered who had brought the bundle of fresh pansies.
"Well," she shrugged, "it's been a while. Sorry I haven't visited sooner. I...I couldn't bear it." She squeezed her eyes closed and waited for the sorrow to ease before she spoke again. "I know you're gone, but sometimes I feel you here. That's crazy, I know." Then she let a sad smile tug the corner of her lips. "Don't worry, I haven't told anyone that. The counselors at school have enough of my crazy talk to deal with. I won't be telling them that I think you're everywhere I go."
She split a blade of grass with her fingernail. "But I don't mind. I like having you around. I hear your voice in my head now and then." She swiped a tear from her cheek. "Like the day I realized I might have a troll-sized crush on this guy." She peered up at the sky. "He was one of your mates. Older than me...by a few years." She chuckled sadly. "Yeah, I know. You'd have a few words to say about that. I can already hear them." She grabbed at another blade of grass. "Wish you were here to give me a piece of your mind." She smirked. "Course it wouldn't change how I feel about him. Sure, he's too old and probably knows a million other birds he'd like to bring home, but," she sighed, "I'm a masochist. And he makes me laugh. Plus he's right handsome." She laughed again. "Knew you'd hate the idea. Seems no one really wants me to grow up. I'm bloody 12 years old to the Weasley lot, still fawning ridiculously over Harry Potter, still hiding behind Mum." She rolled her eyes. "I'll be 18 this year. Wish you could see me grow up, Fred. I'd let you think I was 12 forever though, and I wouldn't complain."
Then she swallowed. "I finally stopped having the nightmares about three weeks ago. Merlin knows I assumed I'd have those until the day I died. You know the ones. Yeah, the ones that used to wake me up gasping for air and sobbing. Bloody sucked, it did." She covered her face with her hands and released a shaky breath. "Gigi's beautiful, Fred. You--you would adore her." She allowed herself a few moments to cry before she tried to regain her composure.
"Mum's doing her best. She's so strong and so fragile. It's weird how you can see both of those facts simultaneously. George...well, he's probably doing a rotten job of being strong right now, but he told me a few of his friends were going to be with him. I think he sometimes feels like he's lost a vital limb, something that he struggles to live without. I don't know how I'd feel--I've never been a twin, let alone had a sister to grow up with.
"Do you feel split in half? Do you feel like someone stole one of your lungs because the air is too hard to keep breathing in?" Her shoulders sagged. "Sometimes George looks as though breathing is just too hard. He even had the nerve to say he thought we wished he was you instead." A sob tore up her throat. "Yeah, I would have punched him, too, only I knew he was just sad. I would have let you hit him though. I know. You were inseparable but we both knew who each of you were. Sure you were identical but you weren't impossible to distinguish between. You were Fred, and he is George." She smiled a shaky smile. "Of course, Mum only confused you two when you intended for that to happen. You sneaky blighters."
Ginny wiped at her wet cheeks. "I don't know where you are Fred, but I hope wherever that is, you know how much we love you, and we'll keep your memory alive forever. We'll never forget you. Never, never, never." She reached out toward the stone, but dropped her hand. Her lip trembled. "Okay," she whispered, "I'll try not to go so long between visits. I promise. It's--it's just that it hurts so much in here." She slid her hand over her heart. She stood up slowly and pushed the hair from her eyes. "I should be getting back before anyone wonders where I've been. Don't feel much like conversation."
She inhaled, then closed her eyes as the breath escaped through her parted lips. "Miss you." Then she walked away.
Characters: Ginny Weasley
Location: The Burrow
Status: Private
Summary: Ginny visits Fred's grave.
Completion: Complete
Ginny crept down the stairs and cursed at the fifth stair from the bottom because it always creaked. She stood still, wondering if anyone would come to investigate the person coming down the stairs. When she was sure no one had paid her the least bit of attention, she slinked through the ground floor and out the door.
A light drizzle fell from the mass of grey clouds hanging over the town. It was the sort of rain that was more of an annoyance than anything else. She thought of casting an Impervious Charm on herself but decided it didn't really matter.
Ginny made her way to Fred's grave, feeling every step hit the soft ground slower than the one before until at last she stood before the slab of rock. She stood there for a few passing minutes. Then at last she sighed and let her legs give way so she was kneeling on the ground.
"Hey," she said in a voice that trembled less than she imagined it would have. She toyed with a piece of grass and wondered who had brought the bundle of fresh pansies.
"Well," she shrugged, "it's been a while. Sorry I haven't visited sooner. I...I couldn't bear it." She squeezed her eyes closed and waited for the sorrow to ease before she spoke again. "I know you're gone, but sometimes I feel you here. That's crazy, I know." Then she let a sad smile tug the corner of her lips. "Don't worry, I haven't told anyone that. The counselors at school have enough of my crazy talk to deal with. I won't be telling them that I think you're everywhere I go."
She split a blade of grass with her fingernail. "But I don't mind. I like having you around. I hear your voice in my head now and then." She swiped a tear from her cheek. "Like the day I realized I might have a troll-sized crush on this guy." She peered up at the sky. "He was one of your mates. Older than me...by a few years." She chuckled sadly. "Yeah, I know. You'd have a few words to say about that. I can already hear them." She grabbed at another blade of grass. "Wish you were here to give me a piece of your mind." She smirked. "Course it wouldn't change how I feel about him. Sure, he's too old and probably knows a million other birds he'd like to bring home, but," she sighed, "I'm a masochist. And he makes me laugh. Plus he's right handsome." She laughed again. "Knew you'd hate the idea. Seems no one really wants me to grow up. I'm bloody 12 years old to the Weasley lot, still fawning ridiculously over Harry Potter, still hiding behind Mum." She rolled her eyes. "I'll be 18 this year. Wish you could see me grow up, Fred. I'd let you think I was 12 forever though, and I wouldn't complain."
Then she swallowed. "I finally stopped having the nightmares about three weeks ago. Merlin knows I assumed I'd have those until the day I died. You know the ones. Yeah, the ones that used to wake me up gasping for air and sobbing. Bloody sucked, it did." She covered her face with her hands and released a shaky breath. "Gigi's beautiful, Fred. You--you would adore her." She allowed herself a few moments to cry before she tried to regain her composure.
"Mum's doing her best. She's so strong and so fragile. It's weird how you can see both of those facts simultaneously. George...well, he's probably doing a rotten job of being strong right now, but he told me a few of his friends were going to be with him. I think he sometimes feels like he's lost a vital limb, something that he struggles to live without. I don't know how I'd feel--I've never been a twin, let alone had a sister to grow up with.
"Do you feel split in half? Do you feel like someone stole one of your lungs because the air is too hard to keep breathing in?" Her shoulders sagged. "Sometimes George looks as though breathing is just too hard. He even had the nerve to say he thought we wished he was you instead." A sob tore up her throat. "Yeah, I would have punched him, too, only I knew he was just sad. I would have let you hit him though. I know. You were inseparable but we both knew who each of you were. Sure you were identical but you weren't impossible to distinguish between. You were Fred, and he is George." She smiled a shaky smile. "Of course, Mum only confused you two when you intended for that to happen. You sneaky blighters."
Ginny wiped at her wet cheeks. "I don't know where you are Fred, but I hope wherever that is, you know how much we love you, and we'll keep your memory alive forever. We'll never forget you. Never, never, never." She reached out toward the stone, but dropped her hand. Her lip trembled. "Okay," she whispered, "I'll try not to go so long between visits. I promise. It's--it's just that it hurts so much in here." She slid her hand over her heart. She stood up slowly and pushed the hair from her eyes. "I should be getting back before anyone wonders where I've been. Don't feel much like conversation."
She inhaled, then closed her eyes as the breath escaped through her parted lips. "Miss you." Then she walked away.