To Young Men, to Make Much of Time

[rljacobson]

I never considered myself a ladies man or a social guru, but my recent observations of my male undergraduate friends have convinced me that I do have some wisdom to share. Men, here are a few tips. [Edit: new items in red.]

When you invite a woman to your home

There are certain things you should always do when you invite a woman into your home

Comments

[mushfromnewsies]

I agree with basically all of this, especially the last two lists (does this kind of stuff have to be said?!)

But for these points:

Talk about her. That's every woman's favorite topic. I don't care how excited you are about your favorite sports team or the test you just passed or your new computer game. When she asks you about yourself, subtly bring the conversation back to her.The points immediately below it seem a little artificial, but are probably good tips when first trying to work out how to actually have a conversation with someone, especially someone you've just met. But this particular point, no offense, just seems condescending. Everyone's favorite subject is themselves. That doesn't mean it's the best way, for either person, to build up a friendship or a relationship. And for that matter, I like both men and women better once I get to know them on a personal basis; I would *like* to hear things about them, in the right way, for a reasonable amount of time. Otherwise, my generally unfair assumptions will determine what I

[rljacobson]

I'm getting a strong reaction from women about how women like to talk about themselves. Of course men like to talk about themselves, too. But my audience is (freshman) men who would otherwise dominate the conversation with what they think is most important: themselves. I stand by my advice. As soon as they become comfortable enough to have a normal genuine conversation they will already know how to talk about themselves in a way that's not obnoxious and overbearing.

"...will make me wonder if the guy is interested."

That's the point.

"No debating?"For my target audience, no. Not at first. The problem is that a lot of guys try to demonstrate how very brilliant they are by arguing with everything the girl says. I do understand that there is a place for debate, and disagreement can be a source of growth and can make you interesting. But my target audience isn't adept enough to know how to do this

[fenrah]

>The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I tailored this to my >particular group of undergrad guys.

Yes. Your advice is perfect for men who are trying to date and seduce women barely out of their teens. Even if you were 35 and trying to date 22 year olds (an embarrassing number of men want exactly that), the advice would be totally on target. A 22 year old is still mostly an 18 year old in her head.

[reong]

Nice :)

>> If she's kissed you, she likes you. If she holds your hand, she likes you. It's that simple.
>> If she spends hours and hours a week with you, she likes you.

Ha, I'm going to reveal my ignorance by this question. Since you had to include this on your list, should I assume this is not true for guys?

[rljacobson]

It's as true for boys as it is for girls. But some boys are too stupid to understand that.