I used to feel guilty because I never felt like I was Living Up To My Potential. I felt that, if I worked just a little harder or tried a little more, I would be capable of so much more than my life was at the time.
Then came my backpacking trip across Europe after I graduated college. I zigzagged on a Eurailpass, going to a city and trying to learn the history, culture and language in three days, then off to another city. Rinse, repeat.
After six weeks of this, I had a full-on nervous breakdown. I left a tour of Moorish Andalusia and headed home to spend the next two months watching soap operas.
I was so relieved. Before that point, I had no idea that I had limits. Having pushed myself to the edge, I realized that I can't do everything. It's helped me prioritize my energies and investments much more wisely, and without guilt.
Okay, some guilt. But less than if I hadn't had that experience of system failure.
I go through this almost constantly. Am I lazy because I can't manage the ridiculous schedule of worker, housewife, board member, costumer, event-attender, show producer, volunteer, daughter, sister-in-law, friend, bill payer, chef, webmaster, etc, that I set for myself? Or am I lazy?
And I meant to add that I find when I don't schedule me time*, I become less able to get the other things accomplished?
*me time does not involve going to parties, going on vacation, or much at all, really. It consists of hot baths, pedicures, reading, and sometimes (mostly, really) just sitting. It's not as easy as it sounds.
Partially because I wish I could be at the rally, I am going to type this response.
Are you sure you are not writing this post in hopes that we will persuade you "that you only live once, so live adventurously" and go have some fun you worryworkaholic?
Do you know if any Enigmans will be around; maybe you can crash there?
I think its admirable you're questioning your energy committments. Been wondering when that would happen, ;p Seriously tho you get an amazing amount of stuff done and I think you deserve some "in" time! That said I was feeling similar this June when I was gonna get sent to the White House to meet Obama...I was like CANNOT TRAVEL ANYMORE! Just so over being on the road, but I made Obama crack the fuck up and that I will cherish for all of life!
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Then came my backpacking trip across Europe after I graduated college. I zigzagged on a Eurailpass, going to a city and trying to learn the history, culture and language in three days, then off to another city. Rinse, repeat.
After six weeks of this, I had a full-on nervous breakdown. I left a tour of Moorish Andalusia and headed home to spend the next two months watching soap operas.
I was so relieved. Before that point, I had no idea that I had limits. Having pushed myself to the edge, I realized that I can't do everything. It's helped me prioritize my energies and investments much more wisely, and without guilt.
Okay, some guilt. But less than if I hadn't had that experience of system failure.
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It's a balancing act.
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*me time does not involve going to parties, going on vacation, or much at all, really. It consists of hot baths, pedicures, reading, and sometimes (mostly, really) just sitting. It's not as easy as it sounds.
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Are you sure you are not writing this post in hopes that we will persuade you "that you only live once, so live adventurously" and go have some fun you worryworkaholic?
Do you know if any Enigmans will be around; maybe you can crash there?
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So no, I don't think I was writing it seeking for permission in this case; but thanks for asking. =)
Yes; there will be a few Enigmans around and roomshares have been offered.
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