The End Of A Way Of Life, Part 2

[rix_scaedu]

This follows on from The End Of A Way Of Life, Part 1. It is 2,973 words of 7,977.

The entire family made a showing at the Huxtable Dragon Lizard Fanciers’ Show. Bethany’s grandmother, Mistress Aimwright to her granddaughters’ contemporaries, won nine ribbons across six categories while Aunt Terilba quietly gained four across three. Aunt

Comments

[thnidu]

Ohhh, my. I'm going to go on to Ch. 3, of course, but not till I note a few typo-y things.

• as if he’d been doing ^ every day since he’d hatched
^ it

• She mailed it off on a trip into town to get packing boxes ^ then kept a close eye on the mail for a reply
^ , (insert comma)

• as the man himself appeared to ^.
^ be

• “So I’ve been told,” her father’s voice was benign but his smile wasn’t.
> These are really two separate sentences. I suggest a period:
→ “So I’ve been told.” Her father’s voice was benign but his smile wasn’t.

[kelkyag]

Bwahaha. Good luck getting Rix not to use run-on sentences and extra commas. That might be the only thing I don't love about her writing. :)

(On the subject of typos, Terilba is masquerading as Teralba in the first paragraph.)

[rix_scaedu]

I will fix typos when I get home from writing Nai and I'm not working with my phone screen.

[rix_scaedu]

Terilba is now herself again.

Teralba is a place and railway station north of here on our train line and I actually got her name from it by changing that one letter....

It's probably surprising I didn't make that mistake more.