Wet, Cold, Deep Contest

[riverlad]

title:  Wet, Cold, Deep Contest
author:  riverlad
pairing(s):  Gojyo/Sanzo,  Hakkai and Goku in the mix.
rating:  Mature.   Language.  Private parts displayed.
comments:   The boys participate in a contest on a bridge.

Hakkai and Goku sat on a bench atop the bridge that linked the town's business district with it's residential area.  The curved

Comments

[sharpeslass]

Here I'd just told you I'd read something light when you wrote it and then I found this. Silly me, not doing my research!
This was very cute. You also had some wonderful descriptive passages, such as the one near the beginning where you were describing Hakuryuu coming in for a landing. You know, even though Hakkai and Hakuryuu weren't the focus of this story I liked the way you wrote them. You captured something tender and beautiful in their relationship/bond. Mayhap you should write a Hakkai & Hakuryuu story (And no, not that kind of story!)

[riverlad]

You've made me feel so good. The Hakkai/Hakuryuu presence cannot be denied. I try to include them in all my stories. I find no need to analyze their close bond, but it's stabilizing to know they're there. Some how they both keep the other lads human. To watch them be responsive to each others needs, joys, and sorrows is very humanizing. And yeah, I try humor stories. The thing about me already having a rep for being a dark writer is hilarious to me. They're talking about a boy walking around in bunny slippers LOL! Thanks for reading.

[sharpeslass]

Ummm... You know who else walks around in bunny slippers, right? Maybe the dark-rep isn't so undeserved after all...

[riverlad]

You are so bad. But, I don't wear a lab coat and glasses. Oh wait, that might be yummy fun. Besides, having the luxury of walking around in bed clothes all the time has got to be the ultimate fashion statement.

[jedishampoo]

Yay, it's the weekend and I can catch up on my reading.

This one has a different tone from the other story I've read of yours, for sure! I like this sort of normal little scene with the ikkou, and the humor, which is such an important part of Saiyuki. And this contest... it's just so very.... GUY of them. Y'know, and now I'm curious about Hakkai's... depth meter.

sharpeslass is right-- the Hakuryuu/Hakkai stuff you described so lovingly was very pretty to imagine, and captured something about them and how they are just sort of "there" with each other.

The writing overall is very good and smooth and descriptive, putting you right in the place where the characters are (like in the other story of yours that I read). A couple of times you use "it's" when I think you mean "its," like grazing it's surface. You might double-check those to help the reader stay in the story. But I only point this out because I'm a member of the Apostrophe Police. Annoying, aren't I? At least I've been told so. ;)

Are you new to the fandom? If so, welcome! :)

[riverlad]

I like you. I'm glad you found me. Yes, I'm new to the fandom. Well, sorta'. I'm a Saiyuki fan, have been for years. I've only become brave enough to post my writing very recently though. So far, this world is like being in an opera. Music and the immeasurable space around it. Gosh, I'm so pleased you liked this story. I'm always nervous when I'm trying to be humorous. I'm always afraid people won't get it. Especially true since I've gotten this dark writer moniker. And about Hakkai's depth meter...heh,heh LOL. You know, you should be an editor. Seriously, you're great!

[sharpeslass]

She is and editor. A real live paid professional one. (I work with her!)

[sharpeslass]

I mean an editor. See, I'm useless without her.