[pe] *is all sexed up*
granted, it's not like it wasn't going to happen. eventually. i think. and maybe it wasn't supposed to. maybe i was supposed to keep her as a friend only and we'd just continue like that, always circling each other and never talking about the elephant in the room.
but it's not like that anymore. not since...
i flatter myself to say that we're both happy now. even if it meant that this morning was a strange shifting of each other so she could reach her glasses (*is hot and bothered* dark hair and glasses must be my weakness) on the nightstand. or the awkwardness of staring at the ceiling before holding her close to me, its blankness strangely mirroring my mind.
i can't say exactly how i feel right now. i just... empty seems too hollow a word (hah. funny) for this... it's almost like riding into kentucky was. just a yearning that dissipates and i never knew it was there. fulfillment of a need?
would it go to her head if i told her that she was exactly what i needed? when i needed it?
and when i saw her this morning, when i woke up for the first time like that... my chest still hasn't stopped feeling tight. (i thought it was my meds, but then i realized it was something else. something more...) i was so afraid to touch her and find it had all been a dream. (given that it was a pleasurable dream, nonetheless) i held my breath and couldn't believe how lucky i've been to get someone as perfect as her. (for that matter, to have two people in my life so perfect for me.)
and i wonder if i should feel any different now... as though this one act has bound me ever tighter to her...
but it's not like that anymore. not since...
i flatter myself to say that we're both happy now. even if it meant that this morning was a strange shifting of each other so she could reach her glasses (*is hot and bothered* dark hair and glasses must be my weakness) on the nightstand. or the awkwardness of staring at the ceiling before holding her close to me, its blankness strangely mirroring my mind.
i can't say exactly how i feel right now. i just... empty seems too hollow a word (hah. funny) for this... it's almost like riding into kentucky was. just a yearning that dissipates and i never knew it was there. fulfillment of a need?
would it go to her head if i told her that she was exactly what i needed? when i needed it?
and when i saw her this morning, when i woke up for the first time like that... my chest still hasn't stopped feeling tight. (i thought it was my meds, but then i realized it was something else. something more...) i was so afraid to touch her and find it had all been a dream. (given that it was a pleasurable dream, nonetheless) i held my breath and couldn't believe how lucky i've been to get someone as perfect as her. (for that matter, to have two people in my life so perfect for me.)
and i wonder if i should feel any different now... as though this one act has bound me ever tighter to her...