"This one, or this one?" "...go away."

[rionaleonhart]

A HUSTLE ALMOST WENT HORRIBLY WRONG. I have wanted to see one of them go a bit awry ever since I started watching The Real Hustle, so I was really rather thrilled by this. Although I have to admit that I was genuinely worried that the mark might actually drag Alex off the motorbike and horribly injure him or something

Comments

[dracothelizard]

I think that the Master should SO go for world domination through hotness! Although I still say that next time, the Master should bring a kitten for the Doctor to play with as a distraction.

And you are so going to write The Real Hustle/Top Gear crossover at some point, right?

WAIT. The Real Hustle, the American special! Never mind that it doesn't work chronologically, CLEARLY the Hustlers sold Clarkson his Ford GT.

[rionaleonhart]

...I thought you said 'the Master should be a kitten for the Doctor to play with'. WEIRDEST REGENERATION EVER.

And, er, possibly? Hmmm, I don't have the Real Hustle and Top Gear trios meeting in the Great Big Insane Crossover plan so far, do I? I'll have to fix that. They can try to con the Top Gear trio, but Sherlock Holmes can catch them in the act, and then they'll realise that, y'know, they're all supposed to be on the same side.

[dracothelizard]

"...I thought you said 'the Master should be a kitten for the Doctor to play with'. WEIRDEST REGENERATION EVER."

That would work too! Plus, we all know felines want to take over the world anyway.

See? More plot! Hurrah! They can try to sell Hammond a fake tooth-whitening kit.

[draegonhawke]

[th_esaurus]

NOTHING IS HOTTER THAN TENNANT!DOCTOR/SIMM!MASTER. You traitor, you.

[rionaleonhart]

WELL, OBVIOUSLY TENNANT!DOCTOR/SIMM!MASTER IS THE HOTTEST THING IN THE WORLD. But I also want Jess being pretty and the question of what happens when your Time Lord lover regenerates into a different gender! Augh! Conflict!

I think that, given the choice, I'd rather Simm returned as the Master. But if he couldn't and I could pick whoever would be the next Master, I'd totally go for Jess. Possibly after she had taken a few acting lessons and developed an accent more suited to smugly superior evilness.

[th_esaurus]

You know I have no idea who this 'Jess' person is, don't you? Presumably her there in your icon?

the question of what happens when your Time Lord lover regenerates into a different gender!

Dude, you should write that.

[rionaleonhart]

She is indeed! She's one of the trio at the centre of The Real Hustle; they con people out of their money and valuables, then give them back and show the footage for us all to learn from.

Learn to avoid these scams, obviously. Not learn how to carry them out. Although it would probably be quite educational in that respect if you were watching it for that purpose.

Dude, you should write that.

...ARGH I ACTUALLY SORT OF WANT TO. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY THINGS I NEED TO WRITE?

[rionaleonhart]

Ooh, I love the idea of her sneaking on board as his companion. SURPRISE STEALTH MASTER. It would be wonderful.

[wolfenkahlon]

I have so far avoided Real Hustle addiction through my general non-watching of TV. However, if they were to start having even half the bantering and mockingness of Top Gear I would most likely make time to watch it. Because most things would be better if they were more like Top Gear.

(I approve of any plan that involves completely insane female villains set on world domination. I also approve of any plan that involves male villains taking on hawt female form for the sexual confusion of the hero).

[rionaleonhart]

It is distressing! There'll be half a second of charming banter every five episodes, and I will go YES YES GLORIOUS JOY and then the next moment they'll be focusing on the con again and I will be going AAAAAH NOOOO INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER! BE ADORABLE! PLEASE!

The trouble is that The Real Hustle is not allowed to become as popular as Top Gear, because the moment it does it will instantly become impossible to make any more. "How are we supposed to con people if everyone recognises us?"

[wolfenkahlon]

For some reason this instantly sparked thoughts in my head of the Top Gear trio trying to shoot an episode of The Real Hustle because "How hard can it be?" very hard as it turns out because everyone of course recognises them... the important bit of the idea though is this:

"Well I think it's obvious who should do Jess's part."

Richard rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I know what you're going to say Jeremy, that it should be me be--."

"Not you."

"Not me?"

"No. me. I'm obviously the best looking one here."

"..."

"I think you might have broken his brain with the sheer absurdity of that one... You do realise what you'll need to be wearing for this hustle?" James asked with a feeling of impending doom, similar to that sparked by the words: How Hard Can It Be?

I don't know, I can't actually write this, I don't know enough about it, but it sounds like a sure recipe for disaster/a Top Gear challenge.

[rionaleonhart]

You do realise what you'll need to be wearing for this hustle?

Ahahaha! YES, JEREMY, YOU CAN TOTALLY PULL OFF THE ROLE OF THE CHARMING SEDUCTRESS/THE VULNERABLE GIRL/JAMES OR RICHARD'S GIRLFRIEND. It would be a wonderfully ridiculous challenge. Of course, they'd be stealing cars, as they have to keep up the pretence that cars are actually what Top Gear is about.

[kelly96]

I've never found Tennant particularly attractive

Wait, WHAT?!

[rionaleonhart]

POSSIBLY I AM SOME SORT OF SEXLESS ALIEN FREAK?

I will confess that he was rather appealing as Barty Crouch Junior. WHY DO I FIND MEN MORE APPEALING WHEN THEY ARE INSANE MURDERERS?