Up To Thirteen Inches, If You're Curious.

[rionaleonhart]

Today, my father came into the room and proudly handed me a printout listing all the different dimensions he's seen attributed to Harry Potter's penis in fanfiction. I just thought you should know.

Anyway! thebaconfat did this meme a couple of weeks ago and said she wanted everyone else to do it, and I've just about managed to work up the courage to go

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

(This comment contains spoilers for a fairly early chapter of Deathly Hallows.)

He is! He'd even written a 'This Is A Serious Discussion' paragraph at the top:

HOW BIG IS HARRY'S PENIS?

It is inevitable, you may think utterly predictable, that fans have widely different opinions about this vital question. JK herself skirts around the issue when six of his comrades are transformed into his bodily image by Polyjuice Potion. 'He felt like asking them to show a little more respect for his privacy as they all began stripping off with impunity.' So Harry is modest - but does he have much to be modest about?

(cue lots of fanfiction quotes about Harry's cock.)

[wanttobeatree]

Today, my father came into the room and proudly handed me a printout listing all the different dimensions he's seen attributed to Harry Potter's penis in fanfiction.

Wait wait wait. Are we talking measurements or planes of existence here?

(it probably says something about HP fandom that I have to ask these things)

[rionaleonhart]

Hee! Measurements, but planes of existence would probably be interesting (if alarming) too.

[wanttobeatree]

Harry Potter's cock totally transcends all dimensions. It's like... idk. A tardis, or something.

[rionaleonhart]

Thank you; I'm so glad you like it! I don't know whether the fic will ever get to the OT3 stage - there's a definite focus on Alex/Jess at the moment - but I definitely hope to get something written.

(My dad is insane and I love him for it.)

[emmarrrrr]

“You want me to lend you my weapon?” he asks, in the sort of disbelieving tone he might have used if Jack had asked to borrow one of his legs for a couple of days.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

AWESOME.

"Nobody should be allowed to say that,"
I lol'd.

[rionaleonhart]

Thank you!

I have to admit, I was utterly overcome by shame as soon as I wrote 'She's hustled my heart' in my notebook. I don't think I'd ever have been able to look myself in the eye again if I'd actually used it seriously.

[emmarrrrr]

Hahahahahahaha.

[dracothelizard]

"my father came into the room and proudly handed me a printout listing all the different dimensions he's seen attributed to Harry Potter's penis in fanfiction."

Your father is insane. INSANE.

*wonders if there's a difference between het and slash when it comes to penis-length*

JD/Martha would be the most adorable thing EVER. And your Cox-perspective frightens me and he is SO in denial.

[dracothelizard]

And 13 inches? ZOMG OUCH.

[rionaleonhart]

*wonders if there's a difference between het and slash when it comes to penis-length*

Hmmm. Well, the statistics from my dad's quick research:

Slash: 'thick and short', 'a little wilted', 'small', 'thick', 'only (I'm not joking; it does actually say "only") slightly more than thirteen inches'.

Het: 'six-inch', 'foot-long'.

There's not as much of it, but apparently het wins!

[dracothelizard]

'only slightly more than thirteen inches'

...

OUCH.