So... this thing just popped into my head yesterday, and I had to write it down. It's probably crap, but what the hell, I'm posting it anyway. Feel free to comment on it if it strikes your fancy.
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I adore this. It's such a perfect little piece of angst. I love how she sort of ruminates over everything connected to the man she loved -- and how she changed the laundry soap after he left.
I like your character, from what knowledge I can can from her sort of peripherally. Obviously she's broken hearted, but she's picking up the pieces of her life. I have confidence that she'll be okay. Without her bologna-loving man.
Favorite line?
She buys the thick-cut slices, the kind that are a little more expensive, but taste more solid than the thiner ones. They always come ringed in red plastic, and she has no idea why. There are a lot of things about baloney that she doesn’t understand, but she thinks it’s probably better that way.
Two thumbs up! You should definitely be writing more. *nod nod*
I agree, you should definitely write more often. I love how this draws the reader in to her mind and her world and shows how and why she does these things. The little bits about how she doesn't know why this or how that... are all *very* "human" and very easy to connect to.
Comments 2
I like your character, from what knowledge I can can from her sort of peripherally. Obviously she's broken hearted, but she's picking up the pieces of her life. I have confidence that she'll be okay. Without her bologna-loving man.
Favorite line?
She buys the thick-cut slices, the kind that are a little more expensive, but taste more solid than the thiner ones. They always come ringed in red plastic, and she has no idea why. There are a lot of things about baloney that she doesn’t understand, but she thinks it’s probably better that way.
Two thumbs up! You should definitely be writing more. *nod nod*
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Good job! :-)
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