Gone to the Dogs (Pic - NSFW)
Title: Gone to the Dogs
Fandom: SGA
Characters: Parrish, Lorne, Markham, Stackhouse, Jon O’Neill
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 719
Orientation: Slash
Notes: This is all, completely, totally, clwilson2006 's fault. She put this picture up and then the gauntlet was thrown and there was cracky comment fic. Be happy there are no penguins. Hehehee, I turned her into a dog. And there was no porn.
David had been turned into a dog. At least, he thought he was a dog. He had a tail, which he liked, it was fluffy and it swished quite nicely when he wiggled his tuckas. He remembered that he had been on a picnic, with some other people. Someone started a fire. The smoke smelled a little weird.
He looked around, but didn’t see the others. But he still scented the smoke. He raised his head. Wow! Things smelled awesome! He followed all the delightful smells towards the smoke.
What was he looking for again? Oh, that one there, that plant smelled so good. He ran to the base of a tree and dug at the roots, trying to get more of that lovely scent. Digging was fun!
He heard noise, and stopped digging. What was that? He ran, very fast, the wind made his ears fly, the wind made him shivery, so he ran faster.
Where was he going again?
People!!! He saw them, walking in the field. Maybe they would play with him! That would be fun, he could run more. He charged towards them, barking happily, “Play with me, play with me, come on, play with me, have fun!”
Evan Lorne was still trying to figure out where his uniform went. He would have been more concerned if the rest of the team was not also stark naked. Parrish had gone missing, and that was a concern, he wanted the life signs detector that was in his pocket to find his errant boyfriend. The scans showed this was not a dangerous planet, but David off on his own was never a good thing, he was a bit absentminded at times.
“Sir, I think it was the smoke, something we burned. I’ve got a headache.” The scientist that had come to assist Parrish said.
“Me too, Major.” Stackhouse rubbed at his forehead.
Markham waved. “I’ve got one too.”
“My nose burns.” Everyone looked at Jon O’Neill. “Well it does. And my head hurts.”
Evan held up his hand wearily. “Ok, ok, so we’ve all got headaches, no sex for anyone tonight!
Let’s find our uniforms and Parrish and get the hell out of here.”
“Uhm, sir?” Doctor Noname patted Evan on the biceps, which ordinarily wouldn’t have bothered him, except he was all naked and didn’t like the stranger touching thing going on when he was naked. He glared at the offending hand until it was removed and snapped, “What?”
“That!” Noname pointed and then turned and ran like hell.
A dog was charging across the field at them, barking madly. With one glance around at each other, the rest of the team bolted after Noname, streaking through the trees.
They couldn’t outrun the rampaging canine. O’Neill recognized that first, shouted, “Over there! They dashed for a large tree with enough branches for them all to clamber up away from the demented dog.
The dog ran around the base of the tree, barking at them. Occasionally, it would stop to sniff at a bush, or a plant. It also dug a multitude of holes in the time the away team cowered in the tree.
“Maybe he’s friendly,” Markham said.
“Right, you volunteering to go down and let the alien dog sniff you?” Lorne hissed. The dog, hearing his voice, charged over and resumed barking at Lorne.
“He most certainly is not!” Stackhouse threw Markham a look that screamed, “Dumbass.”
“We’ll just stay right here, he, she, it might go away.”
“Play!”
That smells good. Dig. Dig. Dig.
Oh, he smells good. “Play, play, play. Now. Play. Run. Play. Food?”
Good smell. Dig. Dig. Dig.
People!!!
Running is fun! Running is fun!
“People play, people play. Play, play, play.”
Jump. Yip. Jump.
~*~
“So, Major Lorne. You want to tell me what happened to your uniforms?” Sheppard hid his laugh behind his hand.
Ronon was rolling on the ground, roughhousing with the giant golden retriever that had treed Lorne’s team, his joyful laughter ringing out.
“I’m never gonna live this down, am I, Sir?” Lorne groaned.
“Not a chance in hell, Lorne. Now, wanna tell me how Parrish got turned into a dog?” Sheppard leaned down and tugged the ID tags that all expedition members wore from the chain around the dog’s neck.
Oh yeah. Never living this down.