Fic: Do Me Wrong

[rinalin]

Title: Do Me Wrong
Author: Rinny
Characters: Mal/River, cameos by Wash, Simon and Jayne.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2265
Beta: blahbaby
Notes: Written for srichard for inlovewithnight's Fluffathon. Sophie asked for Mal/River with some fatherly over tones. I tried for fatherly, I really did Sophie, but Mal mostly just wanted to pout. And um, my definintion of fluff is very, very

Comments

[cornfields]

I liked this a lot. Very sweet. :)

[lvs2read]

Yeah, not exactly fatherly there. *g* I really enjoyed this. Loved River switching everybody's rooms around! And Mal figurin' he'd have to hold Simon off Koi! And this whole exchange: “So…are we winning?” Mal shifts his weight. “Winning what?” “The staring contest.” “Dumbass, there ain’t no--” Jayne pauses, and glances at Mal. “Is there a starin’ contest?” LOL And then to end it with such tenderness. Aww.

Well done!

[srichard]

Aww, lovely stuff here! I'm definitely pleased. ♥ I loved Mal letting the kid see his weapon when he sat down, and Jayne's reaction to the "staring contest" line was absolutely perfect. And poor River.

Though I must confess, if I were Mal, and River claimed she'd stabbed someone, metaphor wouldn't be the first thing I'd be thinking. *g*

[rinalin]

Reading it over again, I feel really bad. Cause it isn't much fluff. If you want, I can try another fluffier one.

[srichard]

Hon, no worries. You done good. Mind, I never say no to more Mal/River *g*, but you have more than fully discharged your Fluffython duties towards me.

[rinalin]

I donno... writing this sorely tempted me. I've written one other Mal/River-ish fic in the past. Post-The Message. I might try delving into them again.

[kaseitomodatchi]

Aww! What a cute ending! :3 River seemed so sweet and nervous and Mal was being so gentle. *coos* The interaction you wrote between them really worked for me, especially due to the build up of familiarity between the two in the early half of the story. The idea of Mal getting used to River hanging around him all the time and enjoying it gives me lots of warm, happy feelings; Good job. I also looooved the staring contest bit! xD You got Wash's and Jayne's lines perfectly, I can definitely picture them saying those exact words. The thought of Jayne attempting to carry Zoe over his shoulder is amusing, to say the least. *giggle* But yeah, I think you wrote Mal's POV very well here; all of his emotions and thoughts felt appropriate and you portrayed them very strongly with your writing, very admirable. :)

[alixtii]

Ooh, I love River, and you paint her beautifully.