Randolph Legacy, Generation 3.2!
pixel_trade + ISBI! Generation 1 spouse Zoe Dork is katu's, and Generation 2 spouse Ulric is selzi's.
Last time, Zoe's apparent lust for her daughter's husband Ulric kick-started a horrible feud. Hestia gave birth to a son, Ares, while her mother and husband began to engage in all-out brawls. Ulric was a surprisingly good father, changing diapers all the time, even though it cost him aspiration points. Ruther lost the family 50 grand, and then kicked the bucket at the grand old age of 68. This made Ares grow up into a tantrumy kid. Hestia's second pregnancy ended in...more triplets! Three boys, all redheaded, Dionysus, Hephaestus, and Pan. And I laughed a looooooong time.
Well, it's off to work!
Oh NO you don't. We are not leaving those three helpless infants alone all day with your mother. You have enough vacation time to stay home til they are school age.
These two bozos can go, and good riddance. We're gonna have 8 fight-free hours!
Hestia's finished portrait shows that she looks a heck of a lot like her father. :)
Don't let Zoe's coked-out grandmothering expression lull you into a sense of false security.
...I was thinking that badly-adjusted children would become my ISBI brawlers. But no, it's these two.
All right, last update left us at 4-2, favor Ulric.
4-3 now.
What is Grandma--
She's just playing, how about some red hands?
Is Daddy crying?
No, he just laughs funny sometimes. Pay attention to your homework.
You can't shelter him forever, Hestia!
My bitch sense is tingling...
(CUT TO THE HALLWAY)
OH, YOU WANNA GO, BITCH?
The only bitch in me is this bitchslap!
I should ask Mommy why they play redhands with each others' face!
...apparently Ares is developing some coping strategies.
Not enough, though. Where is Ares? Oh, about where that flaming flame of hate is. You could try to not fight on TOP of the children, you know!
5-3. Ulric looks awfully proud of himself. D:
And Zoe looks like she is in need of a good exorcist.
D:
Why are you in Hestia's bed? Are you feeling nostalgic for the days when you stole Hera's?
Luckily, all the rage on her mind keeps waking her up or something. So she tries her own bed. I think this is the first time she's touched the thing since the last time she got it on with Ruther.
Anybody got some change-change?
...I've got to get a new route for making a beer run.
Stop it, you're scaring Nathan awaaaaaaay.
It's time for...Triplet Toddlers II Fast The Return of the Electric Boogaloo II Furious!
In alphabetical order so I could keep them straight. This is Dionysus. I love the XD eyes!
Aaaaand Dionysus's first independent action is to crawl away in terror. Awesome!
6-3. Thanks for completely delaying the other birthdays, guys.
I love this hair on toddlers.
Now is Hephaestus's turn!
It's like Ulric got Hestia's eyeshape! XD
So, Dionysus tried very very VERY hard to have the worst toddlerhood in the history of ever.
And...finally...at like 9:30, Pan gets to a cake.
OMGWTFBBCUTE!
He gets to keep the hair even though Dionysus already got it because I'm not going to mix them up NOW.
I'm surrounded by BITCHING.
We all make these jokes about scarring and all that, but come on. Toddlers won't remember this.
Okay, they might remember having to stew collectively in their own filth, but this is Ulric and Hestia's first "alone time" since they were born!
Pan: THE ANNOYING ONE.
Dionysus, for all his attempts at fail, is at least pleasant most of the time.
Goddamn it, we had less toilets last generation.
The best part about the toddler stage is they can ask for things when their idiot caretakers neglect them.
And the best part about Ulric is that he is ultimately selfless in every area that is NOT attempting to get along with his mother-in-law.
Okay, we're going a little too far with the selflessness now, dude. Go piss in the toilet. It's right through that door there.
WHY IS MY LIFE SO WRETCHED?
I'm not entirely sure, but thrusting yourself through a bunkbed ladder probably isn't adding to your quality of life. FYI.
Ares is a neat freak. I love him. He's already got at least 2 cleaning points.
Not only is this another homework interruption, they are fighting on top of Hephaestus.
6-4.
Hellooo? I'm getting really tired of this fighting bullshit!
Me too, Ares, me too.
Zoe, not to be shown up by her son-in-law, accedes to changing a diaper. What, is this the third or fourth one in your lifetime, Zoe? Oh yeah, really outdoing Ulric there.
TAG!
*Yakkity Sax plays*
WHY AM I SO FUCKING POOR?
You all have like 60 grand, banked. STFD.
Look, Ares. I'm sorry that there is so much fighting in this household. But I have to explain. I hate your fucking grandmother. We are bitter enemies. I would love to see her ghost.
Yeah, in a case like this, I might be careful what you wish for. She will die before you and she will probably be ANGRY.
Why must you always malign me before my grandchildren?!
Ares is quickly scarfing down his mashed potatoes in case they overturn the kitchen table. Again.
Damn. When Ulric fails, he fails HOT.
I don't often say this, if ever, but I can't wait for Zoe to die, either.
6-5. Ulric is slipping.
Mother! I do not want to go shopping for new counters OR a new husband! Stop this!
Poor Dionysus is being kept up by Hephaestus. :(
Ares takes out the trash every day. Then he builds a snowman. Without fail.
This will help keep his grade up!
How can Ulric be such a good dad but such a horrible son-in-law?
I told you, Ares takes out the trash a lot.
I can't do anything about Grandma, though.
That's not a nice thing to say. Even if the woman is always in her underwear.
Yeah, I know, dark skins and the frozen overlay. But I think she's working it here, for serious!
Apparently, Dionysus must have been a horrible brother in a past life.
This is not endearing you to me, either!
When is that bitch going to lay off the booze?
WHY SMELL LIKE ASS?
Playing in toilet water ringing a bell? Anyway, you'll be able to shower independently in fifteen minutes. Shove it.
He calmed down quickly.
Well, if he grew up well, his brothers have to be doing just as good, right?
Seems like it.
Changed his hair so he had his own ~style~. Also deshined his lips.
Grrreeeaaat.
Why did I have to grow up bad? Why am I wearing this kinda girly t-shirt? Why?
Roll with it, Hephaestus. You're adorable.
I don't want to.
Fighting over computer access already?
No, we just need a good distraction.
From what?
...oh. I guess someone cared about the triplets' transitions.
LET'S HAVE A LOUD CONVERSATION SO WE CAN'T HEAR GRANDMA'S BREAKDOWN.
OKAY.
...
DAMMIT TALK ABOUT SOMETHING!
UM...SHOES! YOU WEAR THEM ON YOUR FEET.
GRANDMA IS SUCH A CRAZY BITCH I BET SHE WEARS THEM ON HER HEAD.
PINK SHOES!
I cannot help dis one. She iz out of my jurisdiction.
Wait, what?
Sweet, sweet death.
You're late grim. You should've been here, oh, I don't know, 6 o'clock, before Zoe could even have a breakdown?
Aw, all those days alone with Hera after she flunked out of school really did mean something!
As expected, reactions among the household members are varied.
GRANDMA!
GRANDMA!
THAT BITCH DIED ON MY BIRTHDAY!
...ookay, someone takes after their father.
WHY DO I STILL SMELL?
WHY DID YOU NOT NOTICE THE THREE SHOWERS IN THIS HOUSE?
WHY AM I CRYING?
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!
Pan cheers us right up by being an attention whore. Huzzah!
Just wait, Hestia. You and a house full of hormonally charged, raging appetite-bearing teenage boys.
The boys get along scarily well, all things considered.
Trade-off playing, and all that.
NO TOUCHING.
That's the only rule.
I can't even get an evil snowman out of this lot.
Then comes a glorious day. A day where EVERYONE leaves at once!
Then Hestia gets promoted, meaning the kids will come home before their parents. So Hestia gets to loaf on vacation days until Ares is old enough to babysit.
Wait, what the shit is this?
It's just one day, bb.
A+++
Don't get too cocky, though. Just ask your aunt Hera.
Triplets put a heavy homeworking load on the competant parent.
It's a shame. You know he'd help if he could. He's all ~intellectual~ and reads the paper every day after work.
Holy crap! A child actually is using the swingset!
Your townie friend looks a little clueless, though.
You just lost all your awesome points. The bathroom is through that door.
(He did make it, but jesus.)
...he didn't electrocute himself. Luckily.
Oh god, hell is going to freeze over, two kids have used the swing now.
Um, why don't one of you talk to the girl?
Girls have cooties.
Why did you bring her home, then?
We didn't.
Ah, someone's hormones were beginning to rage, is that it?
Ruther's nose, I likey!
Ares rolled Popularity. He's pretty neat (as in NOT messy), and he likes girls. That's all I know about him right now.
Ruther! Why so glum?
Lots of reasons. But...look, I'm stuck in this lousy uniform forever!
Easily fixed. Wardrobe Adjuster->Everyone Here Everyday
That better?
YES!
There are three bathrooms in this house, you...you...idiots.
There are three bathrooms in this house, you idiots!
I don't think you're helping, Ruther.
Aw, do you like your telescope, Hestia?
IF I HAD A TELESCOPE I PROBABLY COULD'VE BEEN CAPTAIN HERO YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH
That's uncalled for, Dad.
Ulric is starting to show some idiocy, unfortunately. You think he would've noticed that Hestia's brothers barely slept in college, and the reason WHY.
~Obligatory teenage showboating~
Hephaestus has an A+ already! He must have really scared the shit out of his teacher.
What are you looking at, bitch? I'm just jogging, fuckwad.
Yeah, until you steal MY fucking newspaper, bitch!
You do NOT need a new brawling partner, Ulric!
Aw, Hestia brought home a ~prospect~ for Ares. I mean, a friend from work.
Well, this was interesting. Order of events:
- Hestia lost aspiration points for pissing herself
- HORRIBLE DEATH SHRIEK
- Pissing herself
<3
Why couldn't all of the triplets been doing the same pose? It would have been SO. EPIC.
---------------------------------------------------
ISBI STAT TIME~
Torch-Holders(founders/heirs): 2
Perma-Plat Sims: 0
Shrink Visits: 4
Social Bunny Visits: 1
Fires: 4
Self-Wettings: 3
Pass-Outs: 4
Fights: 14
Deaths: 2
Social Worker Visits: 0
Alien Abductions: 0
Hensons next. I'm not sure when. I've started up a GYM ROUTINE and I have a family function upcoming. I also have every issue of MAD magazine ever on DVD now. And I can read them. :D I arbitrarily picked 1980 and started reading forward.
Last time, Zoe's apparent lust for her daughter's husband Ulric kick-started a horrible feud. Hestia gave birth to a son, Ares, while her mother and husband began to engage in all-out brawls. Ulric was a surprisingly good father, changing diapers all the time, even though it cost him aspiration points. Ruther lost the family 50 grand, and then kicked the bucket at the grand old age of 68. This made Ares grow up into a tantrumy kid. Hestia's second pregnancy ended in...more triplets! Three boys, all redheaded, Dionysus, Hephaestus, and Pan. And I laughed a looooooong time.
Well, it's off to work!
Oh NO you don't. We are not leaving those three helpless infants alone all day with your mother. You have enough vacation time to stay home til they are school age.
These two bozos can go, and good riddance. We're gonna have 8 fight-free hours!
Hestia's finished portrait shows that she looks a heck of a lot like her father. :)
Don't let Zoe's coked-out grandmothering expression lull you into a sense of false security.
...I was thinking that badly-adjusted children would become my ISBI brawlers. But no, it's these two.
All right, last update left us at 4-2, favor Ulric.
4-3 now.
What is Grandma--
She's just playing, how about some red hands?
Is Daddy crying?
No, he just laughs funny sometimes. Pay attention to your homework.
You can't shelter him forever, Hestia!
My bitch sense is tingling...
(CUT TO THE HALLWAY)
OH, YOU WANNA GO, BITCH?
The only bitch in me is this bitchslap!
I should ask Mommy why they play redhands with each others' face!
...apparently Ares is developing some coping strategies.
Not enough, though. Where is Ares? Oh, about where that flaming flame of hate is. You could try to not fight on TOP of the children, you know!
5-3. Ulric looks awfully proud of himself. D:
And Zoe looks like she is in need of a good exorcist.
D:
Why are you in Hestia's bed? Are you feeling nostalgic for the days when you stole Hera's?
Luckily, all the rage on her mind keeps waking her up or something. So she tries her own bed. I think this is the first time she's touched the thing since the last time she got it on with Ruther.
Anybody got some change-change?
...I've got to get a new route for making a beer run.
Stop it, you're scaring Nathan awaaaaaaay.
It's time for...Triplet Toddlers II Fast The Return of the Electric Boogaloo II Furious!
In alphabetical order so I could keep them straight. This is Dionysus. I love the XD eyes!
Aaaaand Dionysus's first independent action is to crawl away in terror. Awesome!
6-3. Thanks for completely delaying the other birthdays, guys.
I love this hair on toddlers.
Now is Hephaestus's turn!
It's like Ulric got Hestia's eyeshape! XD
So, Dionysus tried very very VERY hard to have the worst toddlerhood in the history of ever.
And...finally...at like 9:30, Pan gets to a cake.
OMGWTFBBCUTE!
He gets to keep the hair even though Dionysus already got it because I'm not going to mix them up NOW.
I'm surrounded by BITCHING.
We all make these jokes about scarring and all that, but come on. Toddlers won't remember this.
Okay, they might remember having to stew collectively in their own filth, but this is Ulric and Hestia's first "alone time" since they were born!
Pan: THE ANNOYING ONE.
Dionysus, for all his attempts at fail, is at least pleasant most of the time.
Goddamn it, we had less toilets last generation.
The best part about the toddler stage is they can ask for things when their idiot caretakers neglect them.
And the best part about Ulric is that he is ultimately selfless in every area that is NOT attempting to get along with his mother-in-law.
Okay, we're going a little too far with the selflessness now, dude. Go piss in the toilet. It's right through that door there.
WHY IS MY LIFE SO WRETCHED?
I'm not entirely sure, but thrusting yourself through a bunkbed ladder probably isn't adding to your quality of life. FYI.
Ares is a neat freak. I love him. He's already got at least 2 cleaning points.
Not only is this another homework interruption, they are fighting on top of Hephaestus.
6-4.
Hellooo? I'm getting really tired of this fighting bullshit!
Me too, Ares, me too.
Zoe, not to be shown up by her son-in-law, accedes to changing a diaper. What, is this the third or fourth one in your lifetime, Zoe? Oh yeah, really outdoing Ulric there.
TAG!
*Yakkity Sax plays*
WHY AM I SO FUCKING POOR?
You all have like 60 grand, banked. STFD.
Look, Ares. I'm sorry that there is so much fighting in this household. But I have to explain. I hate your fucking grandmother. We are bitter enemies. I would love to see her ghost.
Yeah, in a case like this, I might be careful what you wish for. She will die before you and she will probably be ANGRY.
Why must you always malign me before my grandchildren?!
Ares is quickly scarfing down his mashed potatoes in case they overturn the kitchen table. Again.
Damn. When Ulric fails, he fails HOT.
I don't often say this, if ever, but I can't wait for Zoe to die, either.
6-5. Ulric is slipping.
Mother! I do not want to go shopping for new counters OR a new husband! Stop this!
Poor Dionysus is being kept up by Hephaestus. :(
Ares takes out the trash every day. Then he builds a snowman. Without fail.
This will help keep his grade up!
How can Ulric be such a good dad but such a horrible son-in-law?
I told you, Ares takes out the trash a lot.
I can't do anything about Grandma, though.
That's not a nice thing to say. Even if the woman is always in her underwear.
Yeah, I know, dark skins and the frozen overlay. But I think she's working it here, for serious!
Apparently, Dionysus must have been a horrible brother in a past life.
This is not endearing you to me, either!
When is that bitch going to lay off the booze?
WHY SMELL LIKE ASS?
Playing in toilet water ringing a bell? Anyway, you'll be able to shower independently in fifteen minutes. Shove it.
He calmed down quickly.
Well, if he grew up well, his brothers have to be doing just as good, right?
Seems like it.
Changed his hair so he had his own ~style~. Also deshined his lips.
Grrreeeaaat.
Why did I have to grow up bad? Why am I wearing this kinda girly t-shirt? Why?
Roll with it, Hephaestus. You're adorable.
I don't want to.
Fighting over computer access already?
No, we just need a good distraction.
From what?
...oh. I guess someone cared about the triplets' transitions.
LET'S HAVE A LOUD CONVERSATION SO WE CAN'T HEAR GRANDMA'S BREAKDOWN.
OKAY.
...
DAMMIT TALK ABOUT SOMETHING!
UM...SHOES! YOU WEAR THEM ON YOUR FEET.
GRANDMA IS SUCH A CRAZY BITCH I BET SHE WEARS THEM ON HER HEAD.
PINK SHOES!
I cannot help dis one. She iz out of my jurisdiction.
Wait, what?
Sweet, sweet death.
You're late grim. You should've been here, oh, I don't know, 6 o'clock, before Zoe could even have a breakdown?
Aw, all those days alone with Hera after she flunked out of school really did mean something!
As expected, reactions among the household members are varied.
GRANDMA!
GRANDMA!
THAT BITCH DIED ON MY BIRTHDAY!
...ookay, someone takes after their father.
WHY DO I STILL SMELL?
WHY DID YOU NOT NOTICE THE THREE SHOWERS IN THIS HOUSE?
WHY AM I CRYING?
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!
Pan cheers us right up by being an attention whore. Huzzah!
Just wait, Hestia. You and a house full of hormonally charged, raging appetite-bearing teenage boys.
The boys get along scarily well, all things considered.
Trade-off playing, and all that.
NO TOUCHING.
That's the only rule.
I can't even get an evil snowman out of this lot.
Then comes a glorious day. A day where EVERYONE leaves at once!
Then Hestia gets promoted, meaning the kids will come home before their parents. So Hestia gets to loaf on vacation days until Ares is old enough to babysit.
Wait, what the shit is this?
It's just one day, bb.
A+++
Don't get too cocky, though. Just ask your aunt Hera.
Triplets put a heavy homeworking load on the competant parent.
It's a shame. You know he'd help if he could. He's all ~intellectual~ and reads the paper every day after work.
Holy crap! A child actually is using the swingset!
Your townie friend looks a little clueless, though.
You just lost all your awesome points. The bathroom is through that door.
(He did make it, but jesus.)
...he didn't electrocute himself. Luckily.
Oh god, hell is going to freeze over, two kids have used the swing now.
Um, why don't one of you talk to the girl?
Girls have cooties.
Why did you bring her home, then?
We didn't.
Ah, someone's hormones were beginning to rage, is that it?
Ruther's nose, I likey!
Ares rolled Popularity. He's pretty neat (as in NOT messy), and he likes girls. That's all I know about him right now.
Ruther! Why so glum?
Lots of reasons. But...look, I'm stuck in this lousy uniform forever!
Easily fixed. Wardrobe Adjuster->Everyone Here Everyday
That better?
YES!
There are three bathrooms in this house, you...you...idiots.
There are three bathrooms in this house, you idiots!
I don't think you're helping, Ruther.
Aw, do you like your telescope, Hestia?
IF I HAD A TELESCOPE I PROBABLY COULD'VE BEEN CAPTAIN HERO YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH
That's uncalled for, Dad.
Ulric is starting to show some idiocy, unfortunately. You think he would've noticed that Hestia's brothers barely slept in college, and the reason WHY.
~Obligatory teenage showboating~
Hephaestus has an A+ already! He must have really scared the shit out of his teacher.
What are you looking at, bitch? I'm just jogging, fuckwad.
Yeah, until you steal MY fucking newspaper, bitch!
You do NOT need a new brawling partner, Ulric!
Aw, Hestia brought home a ~prospect~ for Ares. I mean, a friend from work.
Well, this was interesting. Order of events:
- Hestia lost aspiration points for pissing herself
- HORRIBLE DEATH SHRIEK
- Pissing herself
<3
Why couldn't all of the triplets been doing the same pose? It would have been SO. EPIC.
---------------------------------------------------
ISBI STAT TIME~
Torch-Holders(founders/heirs): 2
Perma-Plat Sims: 0
Shrink Visits: 4
Social Bunny Visits: 1
Fires: 4
Self-Wettings: 3
Pass-Outs: 4
Fights: 14
Deaths: 2
Social Worker Visits: 0
Alien Abductions: 0
Hensons next. I'm not sure when. I've started up a GYM ROUTINE and I have a family function upcoming. I also have every issue of MAD magazine ever on DVD now. And I can read them. :D I arbitrarily picked 1980 and started reading forward.