Yes the twist was mine. No I haven't seen the comic book "Fables" it does sound like something I might enjoy.
You bring up some good points and they are all things that I need to go back into the story and address. When I wrote this story I just kept feeling like I needed to get it out of me before I looked back on it and started tweaking it, thus I know it needs a lot of work. This was not a very fun story to write, more like one where the story itself kept nagging at me until I got it out of me. I knew the ending and I knew I didn't want to write it. Now that I am done with the story I am glad that it is over and I plan on taking a little bit of a break from it before I rework it. Besides I currently have another story pushing to get out of me, so maybe once I get that story written out I will turn back to this story to rework it. Thank you for critiqueing it, it really does help to have someone read it and help me with what needs to be fixed or addressed.
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You bring up some good points and they are all things that I need to go back into the story and address. When I wrote this story I just kept feeling like I needed to get it out of me before I looked back on it and started tweaking it, thus I know it needs a lot of work. This was not a very fun story to write, more like one where the story itself kept nagging at me until I got it out of me. I knew the ending and I knew I didn't want to write it. Now that I am done with the story I am glad that it is over and I plan on taking a little bit of a break from it before I rework it. Besides I currently have another story pushing to get out of me, so maybe once I get that story written out I will turn back to this story to rework it. Thank you for critiqueing it, it really does help to have someone read it and help me with what needs to be fixed or addressed.
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