Comments | rhia474: Fic- Unbound

rhia474

Fic- Unbound

Apr 12, 2011 08:50

New fic haz smut in it...Also angsty. But you'd expect that about Fenris, right?
As usual, putting it under a cut because I just roll that way. 'Ave fun.

( Did you think I would…” I swallowed and chose another word again instead of the one that was almost on my tongue, “... care for you less just because you tore out that bitch’s heart the way she deserved? I’m not Sebastian, I understood why you did it, and the only reason I’m yelling at you right now because you apparently still aren’t capable of understanding that there are people who try to help you cope with this…” )

fanfic, dragon age 2, fenris

Comments 14

solan_t April 12 2011, 14:22:42 UTC

M'dear, you used 'myriad' correctly; that's more than an awful lot of native English speakers manage. As far as I am concerned, you get infinite patience points for that.
I'm going to be all stubborn and agree to disagree about that 'from' after 'illuminating', though. ;P

rhia474 April 12 2011, 14:32:18 UTC

We can chalk that one up to me and my stubbornness in persisting in my idioms, and exclude my lovely beta... :)
Ah, and the music marked there from Ingrid M is a new one for you to play--fits perfectly the end of this fic.

solan_t April 12 2011, 14:36:25 UTC

right, because I need a new earworm like i need a new.... *runs off to go search for it*

arysani April 12 2011, 15:56:56 UTC

Oh dear. Retellings of this always hurt because what else is a Hawke supposed to do but feel guilty? All along he's dragged his feet over *more* and then when it happens, it feels like a whirlwind, and you WANT it to solve everything but there's no way it actually DOES.

I think this one makes it worse in that regard, because it's not a thought-out, gentle night together, it's rushed and all about the physical and therefore I imagine even more jarring.

Lovely work.

rhia474 April 12 2011, 16:09:52 UTC

I think getting physical with Fenris is really painful--and I think that's just how Gaider intended it. The man knows his romances, dammit. You need to work for this one, bad.

I always imagined it this way--they both hope that the act of love might resolve something, but it's too soon and too early, just like he says it at the end. And so they both have to realize that this needs to be more than that--and during the following years, it indeed turns into much more.

arysani April 12 2011, 16:36:52 UTC

You really do, but I think it's a hundred times more rewarding because of it. The amount of trust he has in you, it's simply staggering considering his past. I think that's more than enough fuzzy feelings to put up with the fact that he's such a grump all the time.

rhia474 April 12 2011, 16:42:58 UTC

Totally agreed. I can take trusting grump over lying simperer any day...

humantrampoline April 12 2011, 16:09:09 UTC

*flails on keyboard*

*deletes*

Ok, got that out of my system.

Your writing is amazing. If you hadn't admitted to being a non-native speaker I would never have guessed it. Ever! I love that your Hawke isn't so much about being diplomatic and she's stubborn but still cares deeply for Fenris and everyone else in the rag-tag bunch that is Hawke's Dirty-Half-Dozen. She reminds me of myself, actually...

Do you have a translator you'd recommend for the Latin bits, or could you provide translations? If you'd rather just leave us hanging, I understand ;) I tried to plug the phrases into my translator and got some...interesting results. Mostly cause mine sucks, I'm sure.

Ugh, I've got to stop reading you and brytewolf! At least until I finish my fics, otherwise they'll never get done due to being crushingly inadequate. XD Keep writing!

rhia474 April 12 2011, 16:15:25 UTC

Lol. My beta makes me look good... ::beams at solan_t::
Marian can be diplomatic if she's REALLY pushed, but she's basically Mal Reynolds in female, so... not so much. ;)

The Catullus bits can be found here:
http://www.vroma.org/~hwalker/VRomaCatullus/list.html
It's Carmen 5 and 92 (part of 92 is what Fenris says alone in his mansion and parts of 5 being the ones I used for the love scene. Out of order, of course, because heck, who can recite a poem correctly while doing _that_?)

humantrampoline April 12 2011, 16:56:20 UTC

Ok, yes, Latin bits make infinitely more sense now. My translator kept coming back with something about boats. o_O

I think if anyone could recite a poem correctly under such... circumstances then I would be very hard pressed to believe that they were human.

rhia474 April 12 2011, 17:05:44 UTC

Nah, the boats would have been in an Isabela-scene... I think there WAS actually someone who translated THAT song into Latin. Must be on the Internets somewhere, I used to have the link a twisted Classicist friend sent me once.
Maker, there IS a fic in that.

olnl07 April 12 2011, 20:03:59 UTC

Yay! Thanks for another good one.

tersa April 12 2011, 22:57:07 UTC

Aww, man, I love me some Fenris and f!Hawke. And I love how you wound the events after "Bitter Pill" into a real, breathing mundane life and built up the Hawke's tension and frustration until its wound too tight and bursts out at first contact with Fenris.

Thanks for writing it. :)