Comments | rhetoretician: Out-of-Order Chapter, "Returning Were As Tedious" -- "Take Any Shape But That"

rhetoretician

Out-of-Order Chapter, "Returning Were As Tedious" -- "Take Any Shape But That"

Jan 18, 2007 19:16

My original plan was to write the chapters to my Snape story in sequence, but I've also found that certain images keep crowding themselves into my head, and I know better than to ignore them. So I wrote what I thought was just a short snippet from one of the later chapters of the story (somewhere around Chapter 15), a pivotal moment in the story ( Read more... )

snape, hp, jealousy, fanfic, memory, macbeth

Comments 16

Amazing enchanted4964 January 19 2007, 02:07:32 UTC

Well you accomplished something I never thought possible. You've captivated me with a story about and from the eyes of one sadistic, greasy haired and insufferably arrogant protagonist known as Professor Severus Snape. Amazing!

While I often wonder the journey of the slippery slope that creates a character such as Snape, he's one of those characters that I really don't care what decisions, actions or trauma created him. Mainly because of his sadistic treatment of Harry, which to me is inexcusable no matter the cause. While I can try to forge in my minds eye stories and causes for a mans struggle and downfall the phrase "You knowest this mans fall but you knowest not his wrassling", comes to mind and my heart can forgive, can understand. But not for Snape, I give him no such quarter.

I literally chortled out-loud at the lines "What could make a man both terrified and tickled? A highly amusing executioner? A playful poisonous spider?"...Priceless ( ... )

Re: Amazing rhetoretician January 19 2007, 03:54:10 UTC

Thanks, Maggie. I'm glad you took a look.

As I think I mentioned to you by e-mail once upon a time, the thought of how SS wound up where he is intrigues me, since I think that he's someone who could have been one of the good guys, given some better luck and some better choices. (I don't mean he isn't on the right side of the Voldemort thing -- I mean that he isn't a "good guy" in the sense you're talking about. No matter which side he's on, he's cruel and cold and shouldn't be allowed around children.) But how he got there, that's the question.

I don't know about Lady Macbeth's spots. What makes Macbeth so interesting is that he heads toward damnation step by step, fully aware of what he's doing and horrified by it, but can't stop. Hence the title of the story.

Oooooo ndanukiwi January 19 2007, 03:02:25 UTC

You've done a fantastic job with this. I'm actually really enjoying hearing things from this perspective - I can see how it would be a lot of fun to write.

I'm curious about what comes in between if this is ~Chapter 15. I had thought the story was going to be (essentially) the canon tale from Snape's perspective, but it seems you're making that only a piece of a more involved Snape-ier story?

Re: Oooooo rhetoretician January 19 2007, 03:59:02 UTC

Thank you, Cookie.

The whole story is probably about 22 chapters, the first of which (posted earlier on LJ) is a prologue dealing with the marriage of Snape's parents. I take Snape through his own time at Hogwarts, including especially his disasterous attachment to Lily Evans (who never has any interest in him except as a friend, and not even that after their fifth year), which winds up helping him along the road where martyrdom winds up being his only choice.

madderbrad January 19 2007, 04:24:49 UTC

Now, hold on, I don't WANT to feel sorry for Snape, or sympathetic, even a little bit!

This is one of the great things about fan fiction, how authors can elaborate on such things/characters, plumb depths that I had never contemplated (and take me along for the ride). Snape's hatred of Harry has always seemed childish, unrealistic, to me; but already, reading your chapter 15 (or so), it makes much more sense. Black Rooster, Gallo nero and Lily (!?!).

While I guess I'm not going to get my usual required fanfic supplement of romance with this story you're writing, it's still going to be a very interesting ride!

rhetoretician January 19 2007, 04:40:23 UTC

Thanks, Brad.

I'm glad to provide a diversion. I enjoy reading a lot of fluff myself, but somehow it's not what I tend to write. Go figure.

I'll have you know that I spent weeks wracking my brain to find the "Black Rooster / Gallo Nero" metaphor. I knew that the impact this scene would depend on Snape's having a personal, secret, disparaging name that he used for James. But finding an appropriate name was hard. It couldn't be flip, or hip, or slangy, or silly, or chilish -- there were so many things that wouldn't work, and I was beginning to despair. Eventually I thought, "Heck, just write the scene and put 'xxxxxx' where you want to have the name, and maybe it'll come to you later." And then, as I was writing the beginning the scene, I had Snape think that Quirrell was like a rabbit -- and it clicked: Snape thinks of people as different kinds of animals! So I asked, what kind of animal would be Snape's vision of James? A rooster immediately came to mind because of its ego and aggressiveness and noise and apparent sense of ( ... )

girlspell January 19 2007, 15:07:25 UTC

I thought how terrific how you thought of metaphor. How he looks at people and treats them accordingly. Poor Snape..just the sight Harry is the begining of his long torment rushing downward.

Glad you're going to take the story to his attachment for Lily. I am totally mystified about that. Want to see this played out.

I hope the entire story is Snape's POV. Only thing...you're going to be sitting in his head.

rhetoretician January 19 2007, 16:22:42 UTC

Thanks, Rachel. I'm not sure that I'm going to have a good explanation for how or why Severus fixates on Lily -- it may just be one of those inexplicable things. But the part about pining for her without encouragement, about being rejected (if gently), and about making the fatal mistake that alienates her forever, that part I'm going to do up to the armpits.

Yeah, I don't know how long I can stand to live in his head -- but it was much easier this time than I thought it would be. ...this may be a bad sign...

bandcandy January 19 2007, 19:29:39 UTC

Very nicely done. I think you do an excellent job of getting into Snape's mind, even if it's not a pleasant place to be. His musing about the different terrifying but entertaining things seems a bit out of character; for some reason I just don't think Snape entertains himself mentally like that. Disdain, it seems to me, if his preferred form of making himself feel better.

Your interaction with Snape and Harry in the Potions class is a perfect mirror for the Pensieve scene I've just written about Snape confronting Dumbledore immediately after the class and protesting that he can't spend seven years staring at Lily's eyes in James' face. Glad to know we're of one mind about his reaction.

rhetoretician January 19 2007, 20:29:07 UTC

Thanks, Valerie.

As you well know, we're of "one mind" because you gave me the idea to begin with, you minx! :) How could I not do well, with such great source material? The only thing that's got me worried is whether I have to copy your whole scene and put it into my story!

I think you may be right about the musings. It was where the thoughts naturally seemed to meander when Severus was wondering about Quirrell. I needed to have Severus (1) recognize that there was something he didn't understand about Quirrell, but (2) fail to see that it had anything to do with Voldemort. So I thought if he was distracted by the "terror-tickle" problem that would put him off the scent. You are The Beta, so you get to help me think of an alternative. :)

Ken

stmargarets January 20 2007, 02:17:20 UTC

You, know, I'm wondering why you just don't start the story here. I mean you have the back story in your mind - you've presented some tantalizing bits of here. Then you have the time frame of Harry's first year for Snape to remember all of his burning memories in flashback. You could easily parallel all of their encounters with the ones Snape had with is parents - esp. the idea of Snape trying to protect Harry to repay an old debt ( ... )

rhetoretician January 20 2007, 03:32:20 UTC

Hi, Mary. Thank you; I treasure your opinion.

Start the story here? Aieeeeee! Now I'm not going to be able to get that idea out of my head. Witch, what have you done to me?

I think I have an aversion to flashbacks, although I can't give you a good reason why. I mean, you've already seen me resort to long speeches by characters telling others what happened in the far past, rather than resort to flashbacks. (Maybe I can blame it on having been forced to read The Spirit of St. Louis, a book that is nearly half flashbacks, when I was in the 7th grade.) I can see a parallel construction working, but I'd probably run it as two separate stories in tandem, alternating chapters or maybe dividing up each chapter into a "past" and "future" half. (Or -- this is even crazier -- run the whole story in reverse order, like Pinter's Betrayal, starting with Snape's death scene and ending with "Things That Do Sound So Fair", so that the last line of the whole story would be, "I was hoping you'd be my Maid of Honor ( ... )