Denial II, Chapter 23: Back to Good
Title: Denial II, Chapter 23: Back to Good
Author: darkentwisted
Characters/Pairings: Robin, Much, Little John, Legrand, Carter, Brooks
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Angst
Words: 2516
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own; we just want to play in their universe
Notes: Beta'd by robinfanatic and wastingyourgum. Takes place after AU 2x13 but prior to 3x01; the gang has landed in Marseilles and are ready to head overland toward Poitiers
Introduction and chapter links for Denial II are here...
Summary: Robin's new gang splits into pairs to go to Poitiers but doubt and angst travel with them.
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Back to Familiar Surroundings
"We cannot go to Poitiers as a group. King Philip's spies will know something is up for sure." Legrand studied the map as the others gathered around him. "We go, two at a time, giving each other a few hours ride before proceeding."
Robin nodded, absently rubbing his bruised jaw. "That will give us a few days to arrive at the inn just outside Lussac-les-Chateaux."
"Oui, no one will suspect two travelers on the road together. We do not want to bring a battle to the queen's door."
"Right. Little John, you ride ahead with Legrand, Carter and Brooks go next, then Much and me."
You want me to...? Much frowned. Robin had barely spoken to him since he'd been released from the ship's brig shortly before they'd landed. "But I..."
"We will be at Poitiers soon if all goes well, Much. We will regroup then and discuss strategies with Her Majesty's guard."
Carter's face was a perfect mask of calm. It suited him fine not to face either of the men who caused him such troubles of late. He was beginning to enjoy the easy camaraderie he had with Brooks. Yes, it suited him just fine not to deal with things until the were at the castle again. He needed a drink. Several drinks. And a loyal friend to share them with. Maybe that would wash away the pain, drown the memories, of the time he'd spent there with Much in what seemed a lifetime ago.
The gang broke rank with each pair going their separate ways, the journey had begun.
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Back in Her Arms
"So tell me about Poitiers, Legrand."
"What is there to tell, cher? It's big. Much larger than Nottingham. Surrounded by lavender fields as far as the eye can see. Oh if we could be there in the summer."
"Lavender?"
The blond knight laughed his deep hearty laught that always amused and slightly disturbed the older man. "Oui, Her Majesty's favourite flower. She has vases of it scattered around the castle, bathes in it, even has her chef cook with it." He grinned. "No offence my brother, but you will be up to your neck in it before she comes anywhere near you, Big Bear." He rode ahead as John mouthed the word and shook his head.
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"Why so quiet?" John noted as he pulled his friend next to him to fight off the chill in the night air. "The entire trip you have been so withdrawn." He clasped the larger man's shoulder. "Tell me why and don't lie to me."
Legrand leaned against the tree and closed his eyes. "It has been a long trip. I am tired...talk later, sleep now."
He opened his eyes again and caught the baleful look from his friend. He sighed deeply. "Because when we are home you will not be allowed to know me."
The honesty came as a shock to the older outlaw. "What do you mean?"
"You will be L'Ours Grand, a confidante to the queen mother. And I will once again be nothing, relegated to the royal guard."
"You're jealous?"
"No mon ami, not jealous, envious... and selfish." He avoided John's dark brown eyes and looked instead at the dying fire.
"Selfish. Why?"
"I want you to myself, John. Our friendship has come to mean so much to me this past year. To not have you around anymore. I cannot..."
"I doubt the queen will even remember a dirty outlaw peasant like me, Guillaume. Even so, our friendship will hardly change due to Queen Eleanor."
"You have no idea of court etiquette, John. It will be as if we are in two separate worlds at the castle. There is no place for loyalties between the staff and the guests. No place for us to be friends."
"More than friends," John said, as he rolled up his sleeve and showed the small scar on his arm from Djaq's crude needle. "Freres de sang...blood brothers, nothing, not even the love of any monarch in the world, will change that." He grabbed the brooding Frenchman's head in a playful headlock and kissed the top of it. "I wish I could give you everything your heart desired. You know I cannot... but I can give you friendship, I can give you my blood, and I can give you this." He brought his lips to his friend's and kissed him softly as he smiled.
Legrand came to with a jolt as John's elbow connected with his side. "Who are you talking to, you rude Frenchman!" He had a partial grin on his face, which subtracted any malice, but the look returned to him made him stop teasing. "I was joking. You were talking in your sleep."
"I am sorry, John."
"At least tell me what you were dreaming, my brother."
Legrand still felt the kiss on his lips from the dream as he turned away and wrapped himself in his cloak. "Perhaps tomorrow, cher."
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Back to the Pain
He was alone with his former master again. Just like the old times but they weren't the old times. The old Robin who was happy and smiling and talked of their grand plans as soldiers of the king, came back the first time as an older more somber man who cried in his sleep, took too many risk with his life and refused to talk of the horrors they shared. Much found himself missing that man now as well.
The Robert Locksley he rode with now was a ghost. At night he would try to calm his former master as he screamed her name out in his sleep. Robin would wake with a start and pull away. He stared at his former manservant accusingly before falling back into fitful slumber. Other times he would cry uncontrollably as Much held him, his own heart breaking as his former master wept. This was the shadow of the friend he was left with now.
Of course he forgave his former master again. The beating Robin took from Brooks left him bruised and battered but the young man Much loved was still there and he was destined to bring him back. He had to, Robin was all he had left now.
At night, Much would dream. He was in someone else's arms, someone who once loved him. He stared into the bluest eyes he had ever seen and listened to whispered words of love. Then the nightmares came. Carter would always be bleeding, broken, dying. He would run to him, hold him and say he came back for him but Carter would just laugh as the blood trickled down the corner of his mouth. "You left me for Robin." There was no one to soothe his nightmares as Robin would rudely kick him and tell him to "shut it".
During the day he would listen to his former master's plans of vengeance. What he would do and how he would do it in gory detail. He could taste the bitterness emanating off his friend. He let his mind wander. They passed a field of lavender in a rainstorm. Instantly Much was transported back. His mind was swept with images and sensations of wet braies, tears, and promises of a heart forever. Forever didn't last long. He only had Robin now. He vowed not to lose him again as well. Even a ghost of the man he once loved was better than no one.
"You and Carter?" Much was caught off guard when Robin's voice cut the quiet hiss of the flames.
"Have decided to go our separate ways," Much replied flatly. "He will go back to the Holy Land and the King's guard."
"You must go back with him."
"But you need me, ma...Robin!"
"The King needs you more! You are an able-bodied man and his army needs every man it can get. Not a broken soldier like me." Robin stared deep into the flames. "You swore an oath of alliegance, Much. You are in the Kings guard now and, for the duration, my envoy to the queen. When your mission is done, you will return to the Holy Land with Carter."
Much reasoned in a panic, "I will ask the Queen Mother to release me. He tried to sound as hopeful as he wished things were. "We have our pardons now, Robin. We are free men again. We can march back into Locksley and seize your birthright back! And I shall have Bonchurch!"
"And we will swing from our necks the next day!" Robin studied his former manservant as a parent studied a confused child. "We have nothing in Nottingham."
"But the king...!"
"You have neither been a lord nor a soldier long enough yet to realize we are merely pawns in Prince John and King Richard's hands, Much. Those above us do as they are ordered, perform as commanded. And in return, they pull the strings that make us dance or cut them when they choose."
He turned fierce emerald eyes at his friend. "Prince John will never allow us to walk out of Sherwood as free men, my friend. No, if we want our titles and our lands we must fight for them, till our last breaths if we have to." Robin gazed back into the fire. "I'm tired of dancing. This time I pull the strings. I cut them when I chose, starting with the man who killed my wife."
Much sighed as he hugged his knees feeling the hopelessness again close in around him. He dreadfully counted the days till he had to face Carter again.
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Back to Reality
"Carter! We have to go...now!"
"No! The night is still young and so are we!" The inebriated knight sloshed his ale as he made a drunken gesture.
It had been a mistake to visit the pub before heading out to join the others. "I think the night is over for you. Come on." Brooks tugged at his friend's sleeve as he headed for the door. He tossed coins at the barkeep. "That should cover our tab." He glanced sideways, "And the rug."
"Much?"
Before the yeoman could turn around, he heard the unmistakable sound of fist meeting flesh and the soft thud of a knight hitting the rough wood floor.
"He tried to kiss me!" The blond soldier snorted in French as he returned to his ale. Brooks had to admit the man did bear a striking resemblance to Carter's former lover. He thought, Can't blame him. I would have to. But instead he nodded and said, "No problem, I think you did me a favor!"
Brooks quickly brought his semi-conscious travelling companion back to the room. "Maybe a night on the town was not such a good idea after all."
"He hit me."
"You'll live."
"Much hit me!"
"That wasn't Much, you idiot."
"Watch who you call idiot, yeoman. I outrank you," Carter slurred. "He left me for...for... Locksley!" He suddenly jerked himself up. "I need a drink."
"You need to sleep! No matter how much your head hurts, we have to leave early tomorrow as planned. We have to meet up with the others at the chalet."
"He'll be there. Staring at me. Those sad...puppy-dog... eyes." He sighed deeply, "Those pale, blue eyes, I could stare at his eyes all night." Carter looked at his friend. "Why did he leave me, Charles?"
"As I recall you left him."
Carter shook his head lazily. "No I heard them... in the cabin... he was with Locksley." The knight sobered as he looked at his friend. "He still loves him... always has...always will."
Brooks glared. "He loves you. You are just too angry and jealous to see it."
"It doesn't matter now. It's over." Without warning, Carter pulled the other man into his arms. "But I still have you."
"Not if you keep doing that you won't!" Brooks fought off the feeling of desire that swept over him. Even drunk, Carter was handsome and any other time having a gorgeous, drunk knight in his arms would be cause for celebration but this knight wasn't his and for once he respected someone else too much to take advantage. Dammit Charles! Now you grow a conscience! he thought as he wrestled with Carter's sloppy advances. The taller man won and quickly toppled them both clumsily on the bed. Carter smiled as he sought Charles' lips in victory. Brooks was almost relieved when his companion stopped moving and gently snored against him. "That was easy!"
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Carter massaged his jaw and squinted as they rode. "I tried to kiss a total stranger?"
"In your defence, he was cute," Brooks smirked as he glanced back.
"He could have killed me."
"I wouldn't have let that happen."
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"For taking care of me. You are a good friend."
They rode along for a couple of hours as Carter pondered things. He broke the silence again. "I was undressed when I woke up this morning. Did we...?"
"Sleep together?" Brooks finished with a half-grin. "I wanted to."
"Why didn't you? I seem to remember coming on to you," Carter mused.
"I didn't think Much would approve," the yeoman shrugged.
Carter waited a short while before answering. "It's over between Much and I."
Brooks stopped his horse and turned to face the knight with an upturned eyebrow. "Is it?"
"Yes it is," Carter spat annoyedly. "Much and I are just friends now." He paused at the skeptical look. "You don't look convinced."
"No, I'm not. Cos, I see the way you look at him, the way he looks at you, the way you speak of each other, the fact that you seem to have developed a strange habit of getting drunk and kissing any man that resembles him." The yeoman pulled back on the reins and started off again with a huge smile. "I got news for you pal...it isn't over!"
Back to Good?
They rode up to the small inn as planned. They glanced at one another, each man hiding their own private pain as they greeted each other again. Hopefully, if her majesty's envoy made it ahead of them safely, baths would be drawn, food waiting, and a queen's blessing for their stay greeted them. Thoughts wandered as each man's eyes sought out his friend's.
I'm going to lose him to her.
I can't bear to see his sadness.
What have I gotten myself into now?
How can I get him back?
Will she remember me?
I will get you vengeance, my love.
The travelers entered the gate as one and as they saw the inn, each man dreamed of better days, a well deserved rest, and a chance to make everything all right again.