Hi. I'm terrified and I like this.

[rewindit]

I've been feeling much more calm lately & happy with where I am & what I've built. I know who I am and what I want (very abstractly). I love the home I've sort of foraged.  I still spend many nights tossing and turning but less so. Sometimes I get frustrated and upset, and it's usually about the uncertainty of the future (career-wise/goals/where I

Comments

[_monroe_]

lol at the afterthought. i love you and you are able to do whatever you want because a) you're amazing b) talented and c) have nice boobs. oh wait...

i still get anxious/frustrated/mer mer mer all the time. mostly when ol' pms comes around! but it's better to just focus on the things you *do* have and all the things you've done that make you happy than to dwell on the could haves/should haves/what ifs...'cause, those can drive you nuts :/

i still have the whole OMGIHAVENTGONETOTEACHERSCOLLEGEI'MAFAILUREATLIFE!!!!!!! but I'm happy where I am...there's plenty of time to do things/do the whole back-to-school thing. what comforts me is remembering the grandmas in my classes who were back in university doing something they loved...it feels promising knowing there's no age limit :) and there's not...don't listen to the stupid things our society fills our head with cause it's all garbage.

conclusion: you're awesome!

lovingly,

jake.

[rewindit]

I agree. I have so much and it's lame to get upset over what I don't have. Again, it's about comparing yourself. Lately I've been surrounding my grad students like my roommate who get to take 3 classes a day and study what they love while I'm stuck in a job, but their parents are helping them out... I couldn't afford it. I hate being in that kind of atmosphere all the time because I'm constantly seeing what I'm missing. I miss school!

At the same time you're right, there were always tons of adults in my upper level classes who went back to school later in life so really, time-lines are completely make believe :]

[_monroe_]

it sucks that we compare ourselves...we just have to slap ourselves in the face when it happens and realize it's really silly and totally not worth it!!!

i will probably be 80 by the time i go to teachers college so you know, it's all good ;)

ps. isn't that pic wasaga...*tear* if not...oops :/

[_monroe_]

pps i really feel like i should start writing in my 'leavethedayfree' journal.

how can i be underscore monroe underscore without the euphoria that burnz?! lol

XO, MONROE.

[rewindit]

duh. that pic abstractly represents when I was feeling more ~romantic~ about life

[_monroe_]

LUV IT.